A Snake In My Garden

[Naam]

that snake looked at me in a quite xenophobic way. looks like because i am a farang. thinking of leaving Thailand. being surrounded by ksenofobes becomes unbearable. would reconsider only if my wife would allow me to have a mia noi. but she is as stubborn as a water buffalo in heat. please advice how i should proceed.

[Mid]

please advice how i should proceed

try new bait ................................

[JetsetBkk]

that snake looked at me in a quite xenophobic way. looks like because i am a farang. thinking of leaving Thailand. being surrounded by ksenofobes becomes unbearable. would reconsider only if my wife would allow me to have a mia noi. but she is as stubborn as a water buffalo in heat. please advice how i should proceed.

Have you also noticed the way those jin-joks stare with their big black eyes? Very xenophobic. I've got a suitcase packed already.

[JimsKnight]

Beware the danger signs Doc! Better get fortifying the rancho relaxo, buy up provisions and wait out the storm!

[LeungKen]

that snake looked at me in a quite xenophobic way. looks like because i am a farang. thinking of leaving Thailand. being surrounded by ksenofobes becomes unbearable. would reconsider only if my wife would allow me to have a mia noi. but she is as stubborn as a water buffalo in heat. please advice how i should proceed.

Love It Can't wait to read advice.

[Naam]

Have you also noticed the way those jin-joks stare with their big black eyes? Very xenophobic. I've got a suitcase packed already.

i vas chust about to pack a suitkase too butt zen my vife kaught up and looked also verry ksenofobic at me. she did not say vone vord butt ze look in her eyes shpelled trabbel. only vonce i haff mentchioned ze possibility of haffing a mia noi nekst to her (natchurally as tchunior vife vizz lesser auzority butt more... ahmm.. reshponsilities). kould it bee i made a serious mishtake?

[Crossy]

i vas chust about to pack a suitkase too butt zen my vife kaught up and looked also verry ksenofobic at me. she did not say vone vord butt ze look in her eyes shpelled trabbel. only vonce i haff mentchioned ze possibility of haffing a mia noi nekst to her (natchurally as tchunior vife vizz lesser auzority butt more... ahmm.. reshponsilities). kould it bee i made a serious mishtake?

I want some of whatever you're on Doc

[Naam]

I want some of whatever you're on Doc

vhot i am intchesting vill not haff ze same effekt on yew Krossy effen iff yew dubbel the dosis. to ze best of my knovletch yew are not a fullblodded tchermann/klingon like mee nor are yew off tchermann/klingon parshial dessendent.

[Naam]

now vaiting pashiently till vone off ze modraitors shteps in and kloses my zread. it iss vell knovn zat tchermann kontributors are not liked eshpessuly vhen zey dare to open zeir own topicks to balants ze most intresting vones sutch as:

-hoo vill vinn ze fussball game betveen Mantschester Yewnited and ze Kristmas Eilands?

-my dogg (zat godd*mn b*tch skr*wed around again) is breggnant. shudd eye put her on ze pill?

-vhy der hel_l are yew livving in Thailand vhere yew kannot own ze land on vhich yewr haus is built on?

-Thailand is der vorst kountry on ziss planett. do not go zere butt iff yew go do nott shpent more monny zan yew kan valk avay lusing itt. best is go to Kampuchea vhere zere are no ksenofobes!

[siam-i-am]

that snake looked at me in a quite xenophobic way. looks like because i am a farang. thinking of leaving Thailand. being surrounded by ksenofobes becomes unbearable. would reconsider only if my wife would allow me to have a mia noi. but she is as stubborn as a water buffalo in heat. please advice how i should proceed.

Doc you old Sidewinder, this post sounds Monty Pythonesc to me. A wife is like a buffalo? Did you say this to Rattler? Do you want the mia noi so you can Adder to your lisP of conquests? Believe me another women in your life would be as Constricting as a feather Boa on a hot afternoon, so enough of this venomous talk, besides I think this snake in the garden is a load of old Cobra's

[Naam]

that snake Doc you old Sidewinder, this post sounds Monty Pythonesc to me. A wife is like a buffalo? Did you say this to Rattler?

yew kannot tchutch der situashion properly Khun Si_Am bekause off lack off insider knowletch. furzermore it iss a verry delikate ishue vhich i only dare to puplish bekause my belovved vife has taken a flite yesterday to a far avay farang kountry. i do hope and pray zat she has no internet akzess reading my open vords and pleas for help. ozzervise i fear ze vorst for me vhen she komes back.

[rainman]

Please tell me you're not speaking Klingon or something.

[xyborg]

<br />now vaiting pashiently till vone off ze modraitors shteps in and kloses my zread. it iss vell knovn zat tchermann kontributors are not liked eshpessuly vhen zey dare to open zeir own topicks to balants ze most intresting vones sutch as: <br /><br />-hoo vill vinn ze fussball game betveen Mantschester Yewnited and ze Kristmas Eilands?<br /><br />-my dogg (zat godd*mn b*tch skr*wed around again) is breggnant. shudd eye put her on ze pill?<br /><br />-vhy der hel_l are yew livving in Thailand vhere yew kannot own ze land on vhich yewr haus is built on?<br /><br />-Thailand is der vorst kountry on ziss planett. do not go zere butt iff yew go do nott shpent more monny zan yew kan valk avay lusing itt. best is go to Kampuchea vhere zere are no ksenofobes!<br /><br /> <img src="style_emoticons/default/jap.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="" border="0" alt="jap.gif" /> <br /><br /><br />

<br /><br /><br />

You obviosuly need "Spock" to perform his mind weld on your wife or the snake or both to see whats really going on!! I suspect it just some tumbleweed blowing thru their ears tho???

[Aussietraveller]

to assist us mortals in understanding this, please use the link below.

Klingon Dictionary.

[xyborg]

<br />to assist us mortals in understanding this, please use the link below.<br /><br /><a href="http://dictionary.klingonreference.com/" target="_blank">Klingon Dictionary.</a><br />

<br /><br /><br />

I think the "Chang" dictionary would be better!!!

[lannarebirth]

And so it seems the good doctor strikes a blow against xenophobia, by inviting our serpent friend in for a tipple from his Port cabinet and Cohibas. As he begins his recitations of Klingon love poetry the bond of brotherhood is established, as can only be understood by two species who love so ferociously.

[Eff1n2ret]

that snake Doc you old Sidewinder, this post sounds Monty Pythonesc to me. A wife is like a buffalo? Did you say this to Rattler?

yew kannot tchutch der situashion properly Khun Si_Am bekause off lack off insider knowletch. furzermore it iss a verry delikate ishue vhich i only dare to puplish bekause my belovved vife has taken a flite yesterday to a far avay farang kountry. i do hope and pray zat she has no internet akzess reading my open vords and pleas for help. ozzervise i fear ze vorst for me vhen she komes back.

Zut alors! Ze solution to your probleme, mon ami. eet ees simple! Vile your wife ees away, you move 'ouse - zen you can 'ave yure mia noi.

Nos europeens, ve must, 'ow you say, steek togezzer.

[JetsetBkk]

Hey Dr. Naam, I think you should have another bowl of Gach and maybe even a roast Targ (not sure if they're available in LoS). Maybe a monitor lizard would suffice.

And don't forget to wash it down with a tankard of blood wine!

[Naam]

my vife has kalled and told me she knows evvryzing vhat vas going on behind her back. as soon as i find out vhen she vill be returning i vill shout:

today is a good day to die!

[siam-i-am]

my vife has kalled and told me she knows evvryzing vhat vas going on behind her back. as soon as i find out vhen she vill be returning i vill shout:

today is a good day to die!

You will be missed, erm the little lady that's brought this all about is she pretty? does she...you know the bit with the tongue? I guess what I'm trying to say is it would be a terrible waste if you were to go today and she would be left alone, I feel it only proper that I volunteer my shoulder to cry on, petite is she? Just a thought.

[Gary A]

Having consulted knowledgeable friends about your problem, it was the consensus that when you saw the snake, you were probably looking in the mirror.

[farang prince]

that snake looked at me in a quite xenophobic way. looks like because i am a farang. thinking of leaving Thailand. being surrounded by ksenofobes becomes unbearable. would reconsider only if my wife would allow me to have a mia noi. but she is as stubborn as a water buffalo in heat. please advice how i should proceed.

My advice is simple Dr. Naam. Simply watch how a male water buffalo manages to score with his stubborn female, and then use the same strategy to approach your wife about the mia noi. Actually, you might have more success with the water buffalo...and it would not demand living expenses.

[Naam]

my vife has kalled and told me she knows evvryzing vhat vas going on behind her back. as soon as i find out vhen she vill be returning i vill shout:

today is a good day to die!

You will be missed, erm the little lady that's brought this all about is she pretty? does she...you know the bit with the tongue? I guess what I'm trying to say is it would be a terrible waste if you were to go today and she would be left alone, I feel it only proper that I volunteer my shoulder to cry on, petite is she? Just a thought.

petite she was... indeed... ahmm... 28 years ago when i married her now she has put on a pound or two (or perhaps more) but at "locations" where i appreciate the additonal pound(s)

[Naam]

that snake looked at me in a quite xenophobic way. looks like because i am a farang. thinking of leaving Thailand. being surrounded by ksenofobes becomes unbearable. would reconsider only if my wife would allow me to have a mia noi. but she is as stubborn as a water buffalo in heat. please advice how i should proceed.

My advice is simple Dr. Naam. Simply watch how a male water buffalo manages to score with his stubborn female, and then use the same strategy to approach your wife about the mia noi. Actually, you might have more success with the water buffalo...and it would not demand living expenses.

ARRRGGHH Prince! that sounds like hard work no easier way?

[Naam]

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 28 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you".

The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you husband and wife."

[Jai Dee]

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 28 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you".

The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you husband and wife."

Classic!!!

[gampaan]

Doc, you are truly a MAD genius. My hat's off to you. I only wish I had the solution (besides more ammo) to your dilema.

I wouldn't take plan B (mia noi) off the table just yet though....

[Naam]

Doc, you are truly a MAD genius. My hat's off to you. I only wish I had the solution (besides more ammo) to your dilema.

I wouldn't take plan B (mia noi) off the table just yet though....

let me tell you a secret Gampaan but you have to promise to keep it secret and under no circumstances tell anybody! agreed? i am going to be 64 next month and i am quite "occupied" to fulfill all desires my Old Lady has without resorting (yet) to blue or yellow pills.

[gampaan]

Doc, you are truly a MAD genius. My hat's off to you. I only wish I had the solution (besides more ammo) to your dilema.

I wouldn't take plan B (mia noi) off the table just yet though....

let me tell you a secret Gampaan but you have to promise to keep it secret and under no circumstances tell anybody! agreed? i am going to be 64 next month and i am quite "occupied" to fulfill all desires my Old Lady has without resorting (yet) to blue or yellow pills.

Ahh, zat is zertanly very gut noose to heer mien doktor, ve voodent vant zum bad tings to happen vood ve..??

& your zecret is zafe wit me ...

Edited October 10, 2007 by gampaan

[Naam]

& your zecret is zafe wit me ...

zanks! now i kann relaks. had alreddy zekond zoughts vezzer it vas vise to disklose zee aforementchioned zekret.