Are Educated Professional Thai Men Not Good Enough For Expats? Discuss

[Timothy]

Dear all

I am back after my first post of being just come out to this world as a 29-year-old city solicitor, Thai but studied in the UK and worked in the City for years. To cut the story short, I have tried to develop my new part of life to the extent possible and during the course of such undertaking I have come across a few blokes but have not had anything physical or emotional with anyone.

Whilst being told smart, good looking and well-spoken or somting along the line (posh but in a positive way), my limited experience confirms that to many expats going out with a boy or a man of a far less fortunate upbringing is more appealing to them. Initially I thought it was the issue of apprearance but being told by them all as good looking I have then changed my mind. Perhaps it is the question of control or superiority and this applies to of course straight couples with Thai ladies.

Is it perhaps accurate to conclude that westerners who find Asian attractive are more inclined to belive that Asian are more passive and easy going and in a way less sophisticated. Therefore, an Asian man who is better paid than many expats in BKK in his age and is more than capable of writing poets and discuss political philosophies is then less attractive in the eyes of the expats.

Discuss

[londonthai]

maybe it's more about the spark - there wasn't one and you just have to wait for it.

and why has it to be an expat and not the waiter from the restaurant you eat everyday?

[pointofview]

It seems to be the classic 'double edged sword' syndrome. You see youself as highly educated and somewhat sophisticated and therefore seek, what you possibly see, as being equally as sophisticated i.e. a ferang. However, as you say ferangs seek less sophistication so your in a sort of no mans land.

[neilrob]

Timothy poses a really good question. I'm in a position where I can look at it from two viewpoints. On the one hand, my main relationship is with an educated Thai professional, and it has endured for more than 30 years. So I know first hand that such relationships are possible. However, the relationships I've had on the side (with the agreement of my partner) have always been with Asians who are younger, less educated, much less well off etc. Furthermore, if I look within myself and imagine that I were single, I think it would be the same. At my age, it is less effort maybe, easier to control certainly. I don't have to make such an effort to please such a partner (although I always prefer to please if I can), because he is getting other things out of the relationship, such as money, support etc. Practically speaking, I think the OP has to be patient and keep looking. But better would be to get a posting back to the UK---if you were openly looking there, you would find yourself very desirable---the farangs who come to live here, on average, have different desires for a relationship than those who stay home.

[endure]

Don't you think that 3 months is far too short a time to come to such a conclusion?

[peter991]

Thanks for your post, Timothy. I will give my thoughts from a farang point of view. I would guess that 99% of gay farangs visit Thailand for a short holiday. They meet and 'fall in love' with a young Thai guy who returns their affections - probably the first time in years this has happened to them. They are made to feel special, which is a nice feeling. Usually, they feel special because they are a source of income to a young Thai guy.

The other 1% of gay farangs visiting Thailand are looking for a long-term relationship, with the goal of moving to Thailand to retire.

From personal experience, my first Thai boyfriend was a young Issan guy. We lasted 3 years. My current Thai boyfriend is 30 years of age, university educated and holds a responsible government position. I have 'traded off' hot and sexy for brains and a more caring attitude.

To answer your question, expats do like educated, professional Thai men - they just find them hard to find.

Peter

[PeaceBlondie]

Timothy, I agree with Endure that three months is not enough time for you to draw a conclusion. If you are looking for an equal: a high ranking professional man, who is gay in a certain kind of way, urbane and well educated, etc. - are you limiting your search to farang? To all three farang in Bangkok who might be available? Why not expand your search to similar ranking Asians?

Thailand is probably filled with an even higher percentage (among gay farang) who want a younger guy even if he's not educated, etc. I keep telling a university lecturer to stop dating 22 year olds (he's about 36 now), but he doesn't listen.

[Junglejumbo]

I think that if the farang is "top" and not so old then it's not much of a problem to find an educated thai guy as there's plenty of "rice queens" looking--and assuming that the farang doesn't mind the guy being a bit femme from time to time if not all of the time. However, if the farang likes to be "both" or "bottom", or prefers non-femme guys, then I think that finding an educated guy for a long-term relationship is very difficult. Compared to Europe, most gay Thais remain in the closset, espeically "normal" looking ones, who are often expected to get married, especially if from a Chinese family, or had money spent on an overseas education. Those that are on the scene (usually internet chat rooms) are usually very arrogant, and as such, not worth much time (this can also apply to young good looking and professional straight Thai guys who regularly visit cocktail bars and have a girl on the side). Without the need for money, many Thais are also a little, or in some cases, very racist even if they don't show these feelings to the farang.

[kek]

What is it that you are looking for?

Everyone is after something different but one thing most farang have in common is that they want sex and they are now too old and unattractive to get it in their own countries. We are in Thailand for a lot of different reasons (work/holiday/retirement etc.) but since the local guys are generally attractive and available then if we want sex ... it's available 24/7. If it's free - great; if we buy all the dinner & drinks - so what; if it requires a '1000 Baht taxi fare' home - that's OK with me and a lot of guys that I know.

Yes there are some on this board who yearn for 'Relationships' but that is not for everyone and we can do without the cratefuls of emotional baggage that goes with it. There are a lot of my farang friends who have tried the live-in boyfriend scenario and it doesn't work for them. Others (myself included) enjoy their freedom and independence and when the need arises ... like Nike ... Just do it.

No, my life isn't empty without a relationship - I don't want one - I want to enjoy my life.

ps. and yes I too have a good university education and a professional status akin to yours.

Edited October 25, 2007 by kek

[endure]

Got to agree with PB - if you're looking for the professional farang boyfriend in Bangkok you've set yourself a very difficult task, mainly because of the numbers involved. Needle, haystack - all that stuff.

[palmbum]

Hi Timothy,

I feel your pain - I face similar predicament, except totally opposite!

I'm a 29 year old professional expat looking to date sophisticated young Thai yuppies like you. However, so far, I've only manage to meet Thai guys who, though very decent and smart, were educated locally and thus don't communicate very effectively in English. For me, that's a very huge minus because, to me, communication is paramount to any relationship.

Maybe we should hook up or something? PM me.

[Timothy]

Hi all

Many thanks for comments and yes perhaps a quarter of a year is a little to soon to make an accurate conclusion. I'd guess my point is also that expats look at Thais and in a way assume that they are not equally smart but being smart is not on the list anyway. I have comments made to me like " I cant believe you can speak such a perfect English with proper upper middle class English accent" "wow, you read all those books" "how come you understand about European history" "Do you actually work in the City??"

I think these were meant to be compliments but to certain extent it does respresent their understanding or belief about Thais. I would never ask an expat "how come do you know Thai politics back in the seventies" Anyway, the point is if I appear to be someone who is more or less at an equal level I find that my oriental charm has disappered in their eyes. If I sat there and dont say very much I could actually be expressing my boyish nice bone structure looking face and reasonably well built body. I mean that it my observation anyway.

[FranklyNoMore]

It seems to me that the specifics of the guys you wish to meet are few and far between here so your search might take longer than you may wish for and you would probably have more luck in Singapore.

However, many Thais educated abroad come back to their homeland with such grandeur, especially those educated in the USA, that they really arent very appealing to ex pats. I have met Thai professionals educated abroad and found while in their company that life to them was all about showing off, not necessarily one on one with me, but among their friends while out in a group and its such a turn off. Many of us left the BS of life in our homeland behind when we came to live here and most would rather avoid guys that reminded us of why we left. I dont want to hear the same crap here from a Thai or a Farang that I can hear in London. Thats one of the reasons I left my country. Im sure you are a lovely guy but you sound like someone I would run a mile from. But hey thats me. I hope you post again when you meet someone you like. Good luck!

[Jingthing]

Yeah, I see your issue and I am sure it is real for alot of people, but I also think age is a factor.

Most of the gay resident farangs here are older, I think.

I think most older gay farangs just like older straight farangs are looking for younger Thai partners.

In my experience, most guppie style Thais are generally interested in people of a similar age, just as they would be in the west. As someone in my early 50's, I assume most Thai guppies would in no way be interested in me on an age basis alone, and I can't blame them! If some cute Thai lawyer/doctor/architect/intellectual was interested in me, I would sure give him a chance, and I think there are many like me. As the reality stands, instead of discussing literature, I get Chinese soap operas dubbed in Thai. Maybe its karma.

Edited October 26, 2007 by Jingthing

[astral]

To answer your question, expats do like educated, professional Thai men - they just find them hard to find.

That rather supports my thought, that the boot may be on the other foot.

It is the professional Thais who are not interested in being seen in public with a farang.

Thai culture still likes people to get married and have kids, so the public image

is all important.

I know this particularly from two girls I know.

Som has great trouble because her parents want her to get married

and lead a "normal" life, instead of staying with her partner.

They have been together for 15 years to my knowledge.

I doubt it is any different for the guys.

[ProThaiExpat]

Timothy: Those that have posted that falangs coming to Thailand don't want to encounter what they left at home hit the nail on the head. In the U.S. trendy gay circles, the first questions asked are do you have a car and what make, do you have an apartment and what is the location and do you have a job and what is your title.

Clearly those interested in the answers to these questions are "qualifying" their potential dates. Most of us falangs in Thailand flee from such approaches.

You have posted before with a similar refrain, your education and overseas experience, very important to Thais I am sure but not so important to falang, who are well set up and not looking, necessarily, for someone to support them.

You seem to think that your education and your overseas experiences should be an attraction to a falang. I would suggest it is icing on the cake, but not the cake itself for most falang.

My suggestion would be for you to put your education and overseas experience away and bring it out only when you have too. If you encounter a falang who suspects you learned your excellent English as a bar boy, then that would be a time to regale him with your overseas experience, if you like him and want to get to know him better and want to dispel his wrong impression.

Your intellect and education will come out during conversation without you mentioning it. I recall a young man who really turned my head for about a week until he said to me "I can't go out with you anymore because you give me a headache with all your big words".

I am a poor coach on the wiles of seduction, but I am reminded of many who say playng it dumb at first, makes a man comfortable and superior and engenders a feeling of "take caring" that most masculine men feel towards their love interests, whether they be straight or gay.

Sure, those who are interested only in sex will go for your looks and body without a care for a future with you. I plead guilty to that and have always found that once you get the sex out of the way, you can get to really know the person and find out if he is LTR material or not. LTR have always been my goal as I get so tired of telling my life story every week to someone new on the dating merry-go-round.

Doing the dating dance bit for weeks without sex has never proved productive for me. Every LTR I have had, we had sex on the first date, and that includes my present six year one. Yes, I have been told I am very physical and yes, I have been told more than once that my LTRs knew if they didn't go to bed with me on the first date, they would be history.

If I met you and was attracted to your by your appearance, which of course is the initial impression, I would be more interested in getting physical with you before I would be interested in learning your pedegree or discussing Plato or Aristotle. Those conversations are best left for sunsets and morning coffee, not during the seduction phase of a relationship.

I suppose that if one's fatasy includes a highly educated and well traveled mate then putting those things out front may be a turn on, for me it wouldn't be,as I was looking for a down to earth, loving and physically attractive Thai guy who could "take care" and any other positives would only be "gravy"

I am on record many times as believing that younger Thais and older falang relationships work in the long term if the handsome and well built young Thai exchanges that for "marrying well" with an older falang. The richer, the better looking and the fitter the older falang, the better, of course.

.

[farang prince]

Dear all

I am back after my first post of being just come out to this world as a 29-year-old city solicitor, Thai but studied in the UK and worked in the City for years. To cut the story short, I have tried to develop my new part of life to the extent possible and during the course of such undertaking I have come across a few blokes but have not had anything physical or emotional with anyone.

Whilst being told smart, good looking and well-spoken or somting along the line (posh but in a positive way), my limited experience confirms that to many expats going out with a boy or a man of a far less fortunate upbringing is more appealing to them. Initially I thought it was the issue of apprearance but being told by them all as good looking I have then changed my mind. Perhaps it is the question of control or superiority and this applies to of course straight couples with Thai ladies.

Is it perhaps accurate to conclude that westerners who find Asian attractive are more inclined to belive that Asian are more passive and easy going and in a way less sophisticated. Therefore, an Asian man who is better paid than many expats in BKK in his age and is more than capable of writing poets and discuss political philosophies is then less attractive in the eyes of the expats.

Discuss

Timothy, there are horses for courses and courses for horses. In other words, there is someone out there for you. You just haven't crossed paths with him yet. Be patient. The love of my life came along when I was not looking for anyone. It just happened. You are already travelling in the right professional circles to find the Mr. Right. Don't give up hope.

Your observation that many expats are going out with a boy or a man of a far less fortunate upbringing might be an issue of control, especially with older Farangs who seek to simplify their lives and want few challenges in their relationships. But you really are not interested in these older Farangs anyway...you are looking for someone of a comparable age who has a similar intellect and is of a certain economic strata. If that is the case, don't settle for anything less. But be prepared to be patient.

[puuchai299]

Dear all

I am back after my first post of being just come out to this world as a 29-year-old city solicitor, Thai but studied in the UK and worked in the City for years. To cut the story short, I have tried to develop my new part of life to the extent possible and during the course of such undertaking I have come across a few blokes but have not had anything physical or emotional with anyone.

Whilst being told smart, good looking and well-spoken or somting along the line (posh but in a positive way), my limited experience confirms that to many expats going out with a boy or a man of a far less fortunate upbringing is more appealing to them. Initially I thought it was the issue of apprearance but being told by them all as good looking I have then changed my mind. Perhaps it is the question of control or superiority and this applies to of course straight couples with Thai ladies.

Is it perhaps accurate to conclude that westerners who find Asian attractive are more inclined to belive that Asian are more passive and easy going and in a way less sophisticated. Therefore, an Asian man who is better paid than many expats in BKK in his age and is more than capable of writing poets and discuss political philosophies is then less attractive in the eyes of the expats.

Discuss

Timothy.In a perfect world everybody would like to find the perfect partner,you might think now this kinda guy would suit me or that kinda guy,but until you meet many kinda guys you'll never really know what will suit you,take your time look around talk with people at all levels,any nationalety,it will help to broaden your horizon.Maybe you will klik with someone and find yourself thinking wow i never thought i'd be going out with a guy same this,looks and education arent everything,keeping your mind open is like keeping your door open then someone may be able to step in. Good luck.

[geriatrickid]

To answer your question, expats do like educated, professional Thai men - they just find them hard to find.

That rather supports my thought, that the boot may be on the other foot.

It is the professional Thais who are not interested in being seen in public with a farang.

Two very realistic assessments, from people with experience. The one educated Thai gay guy that I know enough about, is very status conscious, and he believes that having a foreign b/f would complicate his life. Language, culture, friend opinions can be big obstacles. BUT, he's not any different than some of my western gay friends that are of his educational background. My western friend, is 26 has a thai b/f and the only reason he agreed to go out with him was because he has an MA from a US university and a job. (And no, he's not shallow or closeted. I've known him for 7 years and aside from being a prude he is out and the most reliable honest friend I could ever have.) He also gave me he11 for dating a younger girl - I was a predatory pervert. He also stomped my nads for going out with an older wealthier women - I was a depraved old gigolo. But hey, I still love the guy and I guess that's what friends do.

On the other hand my less educated lower economic strata thai gay friends do prefer wealthier foreigners. Peter nailed it when he explained why in his earlier post.

I can barely manage a relationship with a girl, so I'm not in a position to give you dating advice, especially on gay stuff. However, take a tip from alot of beautiful smart girls that say that guys were so intimidated to ask them out that they often did not date much. Make sure you are approachable. There are probably a mess of suitable boys trying to ask you out, but they are scared to do so. (But look you already got a nibble from some guy in a post. No one ever asks me out from TV dammit. )

Trust me, your predicament is nothing. At least you have something going for you. Imagine what some guy like me that looks like he's about to give birth to some puppies and is losing his hair has to go through. (That might explain why no one asks to ravish me from TV though ) Be patient.

[prankster]

You know Timothy you have a lot to be thankful for - a good job, excellent education, and I should imagine a nice personality - but are you aiming too high for the Land of Smiles. There are foreigners out there who are your intelectual and social equals but is there a hidden agenda here? Are you looking for something that will be difficult to find in Thailand? Would it be better to try to relocate to the UK or settle in Australian or Canada or even God forbid the US.

[jdinasia]

Timothy

My partner is well educated .. fluent in English etc. However he is very down to earth. I couldn't be bothered dating someone 'trendy'.

Hope you find what you are looking for

[Timothy]

Hi, I am back again

Thanks for comments. No, I did not post the topic to complain about my lack of love nor did I do so to tell the world how great I am (becasue I am not). I did not even think that I am seperior to the boys out there, at least they could go out and have lots of fun.

When encountered farangs I did not even raise it until I was asked a lot about my background.

The conversations were as normal as what you would have with your mates in pubs but with some gay element involved (from politics to football). The point is that I personally find that they are intersted in being friends (most of them) but do not wish to take another step.

I'd guess Thais and farangs are similar as we all want people who we can share ideas and be financially indepedent. What I however found was that farangs here look for somthing different than what they did back home. That is understandable and that is why they left home.

The essence of the topic i posted was that in a way farangs expected us to be more passive, less smart and cannont stand on our own feet (financially or otherwise) and this applies to both straight men and gay men. Not only that those factors were not negative to them but they also treated as a plus. I don't know whether these qualities make farangs look like heros or somthing but they are there and the stories about farangs rescuing Thais from slums, fields and prostitutions are all over the places. Thus, it becomes some sort of acceptance that such qualities do match the "exotic" idea of coming to the Far East...

Well, this qustion is applicable to both straight and gay and of course applies to farangs travellling to Africa, Asia or Latin America. The fact that you could better someone life and thus you become his or her superhero makes the whole thing attractive and charming more than it should be and suddenly the value that you hold at home i.e. people should work hard and try to support themselves rather than waiting for a monthly income from your bf no longer exists.

That's my observation.

[Rionoir]

Hi Timothy. Sorry you feel the way you do - but I can assure you that not all farang are that way. We all know there ARE plenty who come over for money boys who will do whatever they ask them to for a little cash... but if you are rejected by one of those guys consider yourself lucky. I myself moved to Thailand with my Thai BF who I met in the US while he was finishing a master's degree. I often have thought in the short time I've been here how hard it would be to be with someone who was depending on ME for support. LoL

[thaicurious]

Well, this qustion is applicable to both straight and gay and of course applies to farangs travellling to Africa, Asia or Latin America. The fact that you could better someone life and thus you become his or her superhero makes the whole thing attractive and charming more than it should be and suddenly the value that you hold at home i.e. people should work hard and try to support themselves rather than waiting for a monthly income from your bf no longer exists.

That's my observation.

as living in the west is so very expensive, unless someone is financially fortunate, it would be difficult for one to support another in total. depending on where one lives in the west, it might take the income of two to comfortably afford a good quality of life concerning material things (apartment, food, clothing, transport, health insurance), all the while saving and investing for a secure retirement.

why would it be odd that someone who could not afford to be a superhero in the west might care to share their good fortune with love found elsewhere. is generosity deficit of character? i doubt that someone who thinks their partner should hold their own in the west would suddenly change character to become a superhero in a developing country. it's a border crossing, not a character makeover.

[ProThaiExpat]

thaicurious: You hit the nail on the head, in my view. I always had relationships with younger guys while in the west, but since I was a high professional wage earner, my income was always a lot higher and I certainly was not looking for someone like me, in fact usually opposite.

Thus I always carried more of the financial burden, as it was rare I encountered people of my income level. My partners usually worked, and if they didn't, they would be gone, as I felt both guys should contribute, as I was.

Coming to Thailand in retirement was another dynamic. I was home all day and wanted companionship during my retirement. My love of six years was working in a five star hotel when I met him and I encouraged him to retire, he is 40 now, and spend his time with me, yes taking care of me if you will, as I take care of him. One income is what we happily live on, but not extravagantly.

Yes I bought his mother a house and have helped the family raise their status in their Issan village, but that stopped last year and extended family members know that the largess has stopped. Unexpected visits by relatives are handled by my mate entertaining them outside our home and there are many of them. My inability and unwillingness to learn Thai works well as an explanation as to why I cannot participate in his family events. Likewise, the lack of air con at most venues they celebrate in also is a handy excuse.

Our agreement early on was I handle my family and he handles his, without either of us allowing them to interfere in our domestic tranquility works for us. So as you can see, individual adjustments to living together in Thailand takes on many permutations depending on the individuals involved and so using generalities to discuss falang and Thai same sex relationships is fraught with danger and offense and rarely even approaching accuracy.

Take the threads where falang say they wouldn't help the wife/b/f's family financially and all who do are #######. Well, if the truth be known, there are many falang who do share their wealth with those who they love and their families without regret. This happens the world over, just as their are impecunious individuals who don't share anything with their loved ones. Again generalities are dangerously inaccurate.

Those who are not of a generous nature quickly ascribe any relationship in which one spends on another as a "buying" relationship. Do cowboys pay attention to the howling of wild dogs as they enjoy the warmth of the fireside on a cold night?

Likewise, there are those among us who require a mate to be an equal in all respects including financial while others like me, find that requirement to be immaterial. Different strokes for different folks as they say. Timothy will find what he is looking for perhaps, but it will be more difficult as his requirements, as expressed, are more difficult to find in another.

[TopChinese]

Timothy.. don't let these fleeting rejections get to you. I've met a lot of farangs in Thailands who can't seem to handle spending time with a confident/self-sufficient Asian. Perhaps these guys are so used to being needed/wanted/desired that they forgot how to spend time dating again. I've learnt a long time ago not to fault these GWMs for their shortcomings and insecurities. It is easier/less complicated to fall into the farang-in-the-candystore trap and have a different boy every night. No fuss.. no mess. Good for them.

In the meantime, I'm not letting up on my requirements. I'm interested to meet like minded people who are interested in me as an equal. I've studied/worked hard enough to know that I shouldn't have to compete with money boys for your attention. There will be others not like you. If you can't handle that.. then you have no business being in my life.

Next.

[Jingthing]

I for one would love a guppie who is smarter and richer than me and drives a Benz. I loved em in San Francisco, why not love em here? I want to be a kept man. Is this possible here?

I do think it is probably true that many farang expats have a Thai fantasy of marrying a rice farmer's son, and clearly, the opportunities here are abundant.

Edited October 31, 2007 by Jingthing

[999999roses]

There's somehting odd about the statement that a young expat not wanting to have a relationship with a young thai who earns more than he does. Why having more money is an issue here?!?!? I'm confused. I'm an expat in the UK and I don't find people who earn more than me unattractive. Actually, the more the better. :-P I'm just kidding about that. What I'm saying is that money is not an issue.

What I observe more often is an older expat who wishes to settle inThailand wanting to have a relationship with

a Thai partner of any age. Obviously, young poeple with a good career are probably looking to have a relationship

with someone of their own age regardless of nationality. So, it doesn't surprise me to see an old farang marring a young thai

who earns much less. This is because age difference is not as big an issue to them. Am I understanding it right??

Actually, what I want to see is equality after marriage!!! Why don't these couple share half of their earnings with their partners??

Edited October 31, 2007 by 999999roses

[genobkk]

it is about control......most want some poor young boy they can take care off...and yes it is control...I have many thai friends that are very very rich....white guys are NOT interested in them and after knowing these guys for 6 or 7 years they alll date asain now.....just go to any website, gaydar.gay.com look at the profiles of the gwm...the key words are looking for yung, slim, I am weathy, etc etc.....well maybe I should say it is age more then anyhting thing else, you will never see a 40 year old gwm loooking for a 40 year old asian.....not saying it is right or wrong and not everyone is like that but it is the norm ...most gwm I know that are 40s and up to 60s have much younger asian boyfriend........ok I am pciking on the white guys the truth is that most asain that only want white guys are looking for a daddy image or big brother......they want someone more rich, more exspierenced, someone to woo them, etc....well I want somone to woo me!! hehehhe.....I know I wil get many hate remarks about my idea on this. Asian who date other Asian tend to be different, they like someone closer to thier age, looking for a friend and a lover not a father........most white guys do NOT understand why most thai woudl NOT go to soi 4, or they think they can buy anyone, The truth is most of the young guys I see with the older gwm I would not have sex for free so I never would pay for them.. hey everyone has a different type and that is ok, just that very very slim dark boys who only know a few words of english is not my thing............anyhow I am getting older now and do admit I get hit on more now then I did 7 years ago when I first came here....I am 40 now... ....

[flightcrew1]

Now after Timothy first posted I met him for a drink and spent several hours talking with him and enjoyed his conversation. He was everything he said he was. Early 30's, nice looking, very confident and Thai Chinese. Went out again with him for a meal about a week later and again enjoyed myself. But both times it was difficult to set a time as he is very busy with work. I mention this only that if one is trying to date someone they should make themself more free. After meeting Timothy I realize that family would be always be first, then work, and if time, the boyfriend. Very similar to my Thai friends. This I accept as they are my friends. I think it would be hard to accept from a boyfriend. Both of us (Timothy and I) have been trying to connect again but work always gets in the way. Either him or me.

Ok here is my 2cents. I have been here 6 plus years and am working here on a long term contract. Have a good circle of professional working Thai and Farang friends who get together regularly for dinners (home and out), and travel together. My Thai friends who are single always say that the farang here are only interested in Issan type of guys and not the Thai Chinese ones. I tend to agree with them though I prefer Thai Chinese. When my friends go out it's usually the Thai ones that are hit on first while the Chinese looking ones get no action. That said because most of my friends are between 28 to 40 they don't get hit on much by farang anyway. Because they are working they are not free to entertain the farang on holiday during the day and are also not free to be out late every night as they work the next day.

A lot of the farang who do live here are retired or semi retired and are quite free with their time so want someone who is available. They want to be able to travel to Pattaya, Hua Hin, etc on a whim. They are not looking for someone who calls at 730p and says I'm working till 9p. Some of my farang friends say they are looking for a "Timothy" but when they find him it never last long. I think this goes back to the farang feeling that he is not number 1 in the boyfriends life. I also think that a lot of the farang like the uneducated Issan guy who works but is free to take off on a moments notice and is happy to give the bf 500 baht for spending money now and then. It makes him feel good and the Issan guy is greatfull.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I'm topic anymore but these are just my thoughts.