Help! You've Never Heard This Thai Girl Problem

[drummer]

depends on how good a mate your friend is...   Theres a word for girls that go round a group of lads, and that is slag 

And what is the derogatory word for a man that goes round with a group of girls?

Hero? Just joking There is a bit of a double standard, but "'monger" , "butterfly", and "yellowcab" all work.

[RDN]

...i do want to keep her as a friend no matter what happens....

Go see her, take a male friend, hold his hand, tell her you're gay. Worth a try?

[Ted]

Or go for the obvious.

"Thanks, I'm not interested your my friends ex/girl etc"

And then you could always tap her friends up

[duke69]

...i do want to keep her as a friend no matter what happens....

Go see her, take a male friend, hold his hand, tell her you're gay. Worth a try?

TELL HER YOU'RE GAY

organize a date with Simon 45 years old 40% gay and good luck

[nmesparrow]

i've been gone a few days and come back to check and see how a rumor starts in 30+ posts. people reading into whatever. but for mrchips377, rainman, girlfrombar, the gentleman scamp, ted, konangrit, drummer, IamMaiC; thanks for the advice. yours were useful.

[Jeff1]

Good friend ! I could use a friend like you . Want to come over , meet my wife ? She is a great cook and very beautiful

Really , what does it have to do with you ? You met her through your good friend .

try " being there " for your friend . At this point he might need a friend too .

Notice how I said friend alot

[Bangkok Barry]

Why even tell her you're in Thailand??? If you don't want to get involved with her, don't tell her where you are. It's a big country, and she's probably not going to spot you strolling down Sukhumvit. Anyway, once you get here you'll be so gob-smacked at all the beautiful ladies around that you won't give her a second thought.

[nmesparrow]

people still believeing what they want. i know avoiding her all together is an option, but my friend will be in thailand the same time and will wonder why i haven't seen him or his family. i know people aren't gonna believe me or will say "you'll change" but i've NEVER dated an asian girl or really find too many asian girls i see attractive. i see pretty ones but there is no drive to want to talk to them and i'm 100% asian; born in asia. people can't believe that i've never dated an asian girl being that i am an asian.

my reason for posting this originally was to see if thai wives are usually friendly to their farhlong husband's friends and that i had nothing to worry about, thats just how it is with them. this question still has not been directly answered but with the replies i'll assume that it isn't like that. i just gave too many details for people to read into and branch off of. so my question has been answered i guess.

[Dickie]

It sounds to me that you fancied your mate's missus. That's no problem as it happens and you didn't (you didn't?) go for her so that's OK. Now it's over between them and there's less of an obstacle to go for this woman you fancy. You want to but there's the fact that he's your mate and you KNOW it would be wrong to do anything. If you think you have a problem then it sounds like there was enough sparks between you and his missus for you to both think that there could have been something good if your mate hadn't been involved. This can also happen.

However, as has been said more than once, going with a mate's ex- is a very big taboo. Also it'll look like you were the reason for her legging it. Maybe you were? Don't know.

Who's more important: him or her? If her then go for it and don't be surprised if your mate considers the 'fist in the face' approach. If him, then don't even go for it.

To sum up: I think you became too friendly with her and now it's getting to you.

[Jeff1]

my reason for posting this originally was to see if thai wives are usually friendly to their farhlong husband's friends and that i had nothing to worry about, thats just how it is with them.

I have'nt seen it . Usually they are very shy around there man's friend's . But everyone is different so I can only speak of what I have seen . However if she feel's it's over with him I think she would be more friendly . Woman are weird eh

[wolf5370]

Thailand has different culture. I have many friends that are married to Thais. Often the do not really know how to relate to the farang - husband of a friend in my case - so they watch their husbands. Men act differently than women would - especially when married (in general). A western woman would generally not be as familiar to her husband's friend as the husband would. If her only guilde is her husband, a Thai girls may well act over friendly by western standards. This is not because 'she is a slag!', but because she is trying to emulate western culture in her attempts to socialise and fit in.

Sometimes this is read wrong by the farang friend - especially when they are not married to a Thai themselves. I have seen it often, and it is never pretty. You may well find that the girl is very offended if you do try to make a move - she may well be leaning on you as someone that knows her husband (and can maybe help), someone that is Asian too and may understand her a little more, someone she has come to know as a friend (or as close to it) that is a farang and so understands farang relationships better thanh her. From your post, she is still in the west with her hubby, but thinking of leaving for LOS. It may just be home-sickness and she may well get over it. It may be culture shock (both her and hubby) and they may get past it. Ebveryone argues, there may be reasons that you can not see or do not know about, why they are argueing. She may be reading more into the arguements than really is there (especially if she is unexperienced in relationships).

If any of this is true, you may not be making friends in either camp by interfering.

Stay back. Only visit her if your friend, her hubby, is there or expected - tell them both when you are coming. Be careful not to be the 'man in the middle', or the thing sited in a divorce!

If they do split, even innocent visits to her - as a friend - may well be read wrong by your friend (and/or cirle thereof).

You say you are Asian, I guess either sub-continent and/or brought up in the west with a western outlook.

[nmesparrow]

thanks you three.

Dickie to give you a little more insight, i moved back home from out of state about 2 months prior to her coming to the US. when i came back obviously i had alot of time on my hands plus with my work schedule i get off at 2 pm. in the time i was gone, well my friends just grew up and are doing their own thing. one of the few people i had to hang out with after work was her. plus my friend worked the usual 9 to 5 so she was at home with the baby alone all day with no vehicle or friends. so i thought i'd fill in my time and help her from going stir crazy by hanging out every once in a while. i remember how it was when i moved out of state and knew no one and was very lonely and figured she probably feels worst off than i was being in a new country. i really didn't think i was doing something wrong.