She Says She Is Pregnant!

[onionman]

ughhh.. I know i should 'bite my lip' and that i will probably get flamed for this, but your attitude 'Onionman' is hard to stomach. I really feel for any girl who has been/is involved with you if you treat them all in the way it comes across. Sometimes Karma bites you on the ass. Anyway..i can only hope that this girl finds out that her pregnancy is a false alarm, or she was only testing you, and that she finds someone decent. If she is 'unhinged' in some way, it may be because after a year of dating you, you are casting her aside like an empty chocolate wrapper. She must have had some good qualities for you to have been dating her for a year. ANyway..im ranting. As said, if she does have a baby, at the very least step up to the plate financially. The child is not at fault here.

That's fine, you can say that. I think you need to understand that I was never immoral. I never lied to her, I always treated her good, never said hurtfull things. I always told her I didn't want a serious relationship. I always told her I date other women. I don't think the "karma" comment is relevant because I didn't do anything wrong. So what if I don't want her to be my girlfriend? I told her that, she knew it, and decided that she wanted to continue seeing me.

Casting her aside like a chocolate wrapper? I always treated her well. When she told me how she cheated me into being a father, lied about the pills, obviously I lost a huuuuuge amount of respect for her. And more than that, I felt used and hurt that she would do that to me. What kind of person does that? Would you want a person cabable of such deceipt and selfishness in your life? hel_l no! Out b****, get out of my life.

She was your "regular", but not your girlfriend and you give them no money, just buy street food? You must be one handsome, irrestibale guy. I don't know any Thai cuties that screw for street food. How many others were you (or are you) banging, the the same time, ie the non-regulars? If you don't live in Thailand, there is probably not much she can do to nail you. But, Farang man usually pays, Thai man no pay.

I date lots of girls. I never pay. I am a gentalman and I treat them all well, never lie. That is why they like me. Maybe 50% don't want to see me when I tell them that, but the other %50 respect my honesty and decide they are ok with it.

What if the situation was like this:

They are using condoms. He knows that she does not want a baby, so he pokes a hole in a condom. She gets pregnant, does not want to have the baby, but is forced to have the baby. Then he is given the baby and she has to then pay him money for the next 18 years.

I do not see this as anything different. Because she wanted to take his seed under false pretense, why should he have to pay for it for the next 18 years? Sure the child is innocent. Maybe he should get custody of the child, and she can give him money?

When a man does not want the baby and a woman wants the baby, then then man has to pay for 18 years for a baby he does not want, because he took the risk of having sex.

I think it should be true then that if the woman gets pregnant and she does not want the baby, if the man wants the baby, then the woman should have to carry the baby to term and give it to the man. She should have to do this because she took the risk of having sex with the man.

Only fair, the woman pays with 9 months use of her body, man pays with 18 years of his money.

EXACTLY! Thank you. Man... I was beginning to think this is a extreme feminist forum. (oops, I'm gonna get flamed for that)

And it is just possible that the girl whom he says is not his 'girlfriend' but who he has been seeing every weekend for a year, and who has been cooking and cleaning for him, and he now calls a 'whore', has only just become psycho, now that she is pregnant.

Did I call her a wh***? (cant say that word here). I said I know how wh***s trick guys. I didn't mean to imply that she was one. That was in response to what someone else wrote. And I guess she was psycho the whole time, but I didn't realize it fully until after she deceived me.

two people made a contract. they would have sex, but to ensure she did not get pregnant she agreed to take birth control pills. she broke that contract. where is he at fault?

if she took the pills and they did not work, well then that would be another issue. but she chose to not take the pills thereby assuming the risk of a pregnancy.

as to an abortion now. that is for her to decide as it was she who decided to try and get pregnant. same goes for support.

poor child? sure, but it is still not his fault and if he chooses to live with the idea of his child being raised in poverty(who is to say that he/she would be?) then i still see no blame to attach to him.

they had an agreement. she broke it. end of story.

AMEN. Exactly. At least a couple of you see what I mean.

[blizzard]

too bad onion wasnt aborted! not paying yr maid, wot scum.......lol

[onionman]

My goal is to stop the birth from happen.

I want an abortion, so the f*** what?

AFTER I realize she is totally crazy and selfish.

lol i realy feel for the kid if you do turn out to be daddy.

Talk about rolling a 1.

I totally agree with you. Poor kid. Having a Dad who got tricked into father hood and a selfish, irrational mother. Let's hope that can be prevented.

[ZukiSuzuki]

too bad onion wasnt aborted! not paying yr maid, wot scum.......lol

I think he may have climbed back out of the bucket, much to the horror of mummy and daddy i'm sure.

[onionman]

too bad onion wasnt aborted! not paying yr maid, wot scum.......lol

I think he may have climbed back out of the bucket, much to the horror of mummy and daddy i'm sure.

Oooh hahahahhahaa! Wow, that is so funny. After all these responsed, first I thought I might have accidentally post on a feminst forum. But now I think it might be a comedians forum. Oh ha ha ha I can't stop laughing at this clever joke.

[ZukiSuzuki]

Oh ha ha ha I can't stop laughing at this clever joke.

Me too, though i agree your a joke, i don't agree your a clever joke.

It's good to laugh.

[WaiWai]

Onionman, you may need more garlic in your diet .

I do believe her behaviour is manipulation of the highest order. If she really does turn out to be pregnant - and I'd say there's reason for a very wide margin of doubt about that - I'd be considering some of the options already suggested here.

I can understand that she may not perceive herself to have many other options in life, but I think we see enough kids who will not be loved and cared for without adding to the numbers .

[TAWP]

If he would have done her the right way (other opening) he wouldn't be in this mess.

Tsktsk.

[blizzard]

bye the way sir.

if you dont pay her and you consider her a regular how does she pay her bills?

[taxin]

I think you heroes out there should back off onionman ! He has every right to be pis*ed off. The fact that he was banging her for free and never gave her anything more than street food is totally irrelevant.

Me personally, I think the slut should hang for what shes done !.....

[JetsetBkk]

Let her have (prove) a test in your presence with a urine-test; you'll know within minutes.

LaoPo

Good post LaoPo - one of the very few here worth reading.

Most of the animosity to the OP appears to come from people who are thinking "There but for the grace of God..."

[torrenova]

I started off being sympathetic to the OP's situation and was going to offer some advice but the more he posts the more I find myself drawn to the conclusion that he is a prick and if the story is real, then he has only himself to blame and perhaps it would be a good thing for some of her family to come and remind him of his responsibilities.

So how many other "non girlfriends" that he screws during the week does he have unprotected sex with ? Lots by his account.

You play with fire and you get burned. Tough sh1t.

[WaiWai]

I started off being sympathetic to the OP's situation and was going to offer some advice but the more he posts the more I find myself drawn to the conclusion that he is a prick and if the story is real, then he has only himself to blame and perhaps it would be a good thing for some of her family to come and remind him of his responsibilities.

So how many other "non girlfriends" that he screws during the week does he have unprotected sex with ? Lots by his account.

You play with fire and you get burned. Tough sh1t.

Tough sh!t for the kid .

[bendix]

The story is either real or it's false. Either way, it's nice to see the OP - who is obviously far from being a gentalman [sic] - squirming like a stuck pig.

One finds one's level in life.

[mrtoad]

I started off being sympathetic to the OP's situation and was going to offer some advice but the more he posts the more I find myself drawn to the conclusion that he is a prick and if the story is real, then he has only himself to blame and perhaps it would be a good thing for some of her family to come and remind him of his responsibilities.

So how many other "non girlfriends" that he screws during the week does he have unprotected sex with ? Lots by his account.

You play with fire and you get burned. Tough sh1t.

Tough sh!t for the kid .

Couldn't agree with you more WaiWai. The OP is taking all the flack, but cleary the responsibilty now and in the future is also with his GF, it takes two to resolve this and he is hardly going to find the answears on a forum like this.The more he replies, the less sympathy he is going to get.

Personally, I would suggest that he actually needs to sit down with her face to face and sort this out rather than respond to the bitching on this thread.

Edited November 5, 2007 by mrtoad

[WaiWai]

Bendix, sometimes I appreciate your comments but this is not such an occasion. . BTW, your avatar always reminds me of one of the opening scenes of "Rabbit-proof Fence". Don't overplay your character

This is really a rather scary situation which can arise even with the best precautions. It has absolutely nothing to do with one's "level in life".

[scotty123456789]

Onion man, post a submission on stickmanbangkok.com

[pampal]

Tell her that it cannot be your baby because you had a vasectomy,

a little trick I learned a few years ago

[Khun ?]

She is much the smarter of the two!

[mrbojangles]

Has anyone else noticed how quickly Onionman has mastered the art of the "multi-quote" function (after only a couple of posts). Don't know about you but it took me a long time to learn that.

On another note. If you are dating all these girls, "rubber up" for chrissake man. Next time you might not be so lucky to only get a girl pregnant

[TheForemostAuthority]

Your financial obligations are next to nil. Two or three thousand baht a month, that's for the kid, none for the girl. And that's only if the kid is yours so do the DNA test. Fortunately Thailand isn't one of those liberal-infested places where your slut wife can push out another guy's kid and you get stuck for child support.

Your moral obligations are entirely up to you. Even if it is your kid and you don't want to deal, then don't deal. Just make sure you can live with yourself first. One more bastard kid in Thailand makes no particular difference in the greater scheme of things.

[Khun ?]

I may be in the market for a hot psycho chic with income. Hope she remembers inflation to be put into the settlement.

You know the price of beer may go up in time....

[eek]

Thank you for your responses guys. Most of you seem to be cutting into me. It seems a lot of you assume I said I wouldn't support the kid. I don't believe I ever said that. As far as you know, that is still unknown. So don't assume anything. Anyway,

Well..when you said things along the lines of"... starts asking for money in a year, am I legally obligated? If my income is coming from a Thai company, does she get a cut?" in your opening post, it did give the impression that you didnt want to be obligated financially. As does this: " Anyway, I'd also like to point out that my original question was about my LEGAL OBLIGATIONS. I want to know if she's gonna have my by my balls for 18 years."

Yes some of us made assumptions, but not pulled out of thin air.

Let me say this again. She lied and tricked me by stopping the birth control. She took the pills out everyday and flushed them down the toilet. I don't want a kid. But she made the decision for me, not only without asking me, but by lying and tricking me.

Fair enough, but it has happened, so no point ranting and raving about it. Yes you are angry, but it isnt going to solve the situation. If she doesnt want an abortion, you cant force her, so get an DNA test and if the child is yours, deal with it. It has to be said, you have to be a bit naive if you think that just because a girl says she taking the pill, she is (especially if she wants something more from you). Its done now anyway, so try to calm down and think rationally.

A lot of you are getting on my case about dating a crazy chick. Obviously, I fully realized how incredibly crazy she was AFTER this thing happened. She was always emotional and unstable, but a lot of girls are. She was also very sweet and caring. So if I miss lead you, I am sorry. BEFORE I thought she was a bit unstable and emotional. AFTER I realize she is totally crazy and selfish.

You say she was emotional and unstable..but in what way? Surely odd behavior would set off alarm bells and give you indications that you could not fully trust her? Or? You say she is totally crazy and selfish AFTER.. You mean AFTER you shouted at her and demanded she have an abortion? Well of course shes gonna be feeling a bit crazy at the moment, shes pregnant and your not responding as she probably hoped..? But, how exactley is she totally crazy and selfish? What is she doing?

But, from the typed transcript of your conversation with her, I have to say, it doesnt give the impression that she is psycho:

Yes, I was yelling at her.

ME: Why did you do this to me?

HER: ...

ME: Why did you do this?

HER: ...

ME: Why?

HER ...

ME: WHY DID YOU DO THIS?

HER ...

ME: Hello?

HER: Why are you angry?

..well anyway..i dont mean to be "getting on your case" about it. But what exactly do you want people to say/give advice on? You say you want to know if she can "have you by the balls for 18 years" but then say "Most of you seem to be cutting into me. It seems a lot of you assume I said I wouldn't support the kid" giving the impression that you WILL support the kid. So why do you want to know your legal stance? Either you will give the correct child-maintenance payments or not, regardless of being, or not being, a part of the childs life.

Or do you just want to vent your outrage? In which case you should realise that nothing in life is always within your control, and make plans about what you intend to do if she doesnt want an abortion and if the child is yours.

erm, well..gl.

[sibeymai]

Your financial obligations are next to nil. Two or three thousand baht a month, that's for the kid, none for the girl. And that's only if the kid is yours so do the DNA test. Fortunately Thailand isn't one of those liberal-infested places where your slut wife can push out another guy's kid and you get stuck for child support.

Your moral obligations are entirely up to you. Even if it is your kid and you don't want to deal, then don't deal. Just make sure you can live with yourself first. One more bastard kid in Thailand makes no particular difference in the greater scheme of things.

I love it when someone has the guts to tell it exactly like it is.

[Khun ?]

That is only if her Motorbike boyfriend doesn't want more

[cdnvic]

Fortunately Thailand isn't one of those liberal-infested places where your slut wife can push out another guy's kid and you get stuck for child support.

And just why would your wife get involved with another with such a fine example of psudo-manhood as you at home?

I guess you just couldn't deliver what she needed eh?

[alaina]

One of the best things I learned about women (and I am one) was from my best friend (who isn't one) :

Women do not believe what men tell them if they don't want to believe it.

Yes, lying about taking birth control pills is all sorts of crazy and downright wrong, no argument here. BUT, you told her you didn't want a relationship while spending time with her as if you had a relationship. She didn't believe your words. She believed that one day you'd realize that you wanted to be with her. Maybe she thought a baby would make you see that. A woman that just wants sex does not clean up a man's house and cook for him.

Abortion without medical cause is illegal in Thailand (and yes, illegal in this case is about as illegal as prostitution.) But, it's not as easy to find one for the average Thai as a "karaoke" bar is. cite If you ask where to get one on this forum, the topic will be closed (or at least that's what's happened in the past.)

Anything at this point is possible as somebody crazy enough to say that they lied about taking BCP may or may not be lying about lying. Hope that she did make it up for everyone's sake.

[jstumbo]

I can't believe everyone here. So the guy has a few different girls that he sees. Has no one ever had a few girls that they were seeing at the same time, where they all knew it, and where you did not want to get serious about anyone?

What if they were in some country where you could not get an abortion, legally, or illegally. They decided to use condoms and he purposely put a hole in one because he wanted her to have his baby, even though she did not want to. Or maybe he changes her birth control pills for sugar pills. She then gets pregnant. Then he says he will take the baby when it is born, because she does not want it.

What would you be saying to this poor girl? Would you call her names, say how bad she was because she had sex with a couple of different guys. Tell her that it was her choice to have the baby because they were having sex, even though precautions were being taken and the guy tricked her into getting pregnant. Would you say that she got what she deserves?

[qualtrough]

I "date" lots of girls. I don't go with prostitutes. I don't pay for sex. I don't give money to girls. The most I do is buy street food for them.

What, no biscuits for good behavior??

[TheForemostAuthority]

Fortunately Thailand isn't one of those liberal-infested places where your slut wife can push out another guy's kid and you get stuck for child support.

And just why would your wife get involved with another with such a fine example of psudo-manhood as you at home?

I guess you just couldn't deliver what she needed eh?

Hey, kids, look! An intellectual!

(Eh? Eh? Hey, Vic, I just got off the phone with Stephen Harper. He wants to know if you can send his toque back, eh?)