She Says She Is Pregnant!

[jayjayjayjay]

What does he expect? He dates a lots of girls, how many did make abortion or going to make abortion in the future because he is naive enough to believe that they take a pill.

Girls accept there fate, moms and aunties take care of junior, the girl gets a good job if she can or turns to the trade for tricks...........

Wow that was uplifting. You should be a motivational speaker. You have tallent.

Dakhar, thx for the career tip, I'll contact Tony Robbin's to see if he's looking for an opening act on his Asian tour!! 555

[blizzard]

lots of graphic posts. anyone refer me to a thai who takes noodles for payment........lol

[WaiWai]

News ?

[onionman]

I've sorta been avoiding this thread, dealing with sh*t, busy as hel_l. But here I am, and with a much clearer head than before.

I've read each and every reply. Thought about those worth thinking about. Laughed at the funny ones. The members who have posted here have taken the time to give their input and I would like to reply to almost each one individually, but that could take a while. Instead I planned on just addressing a few important points, but I will address a few posts specifically, for various reasons. There are some helpful and constructive posts, which I really appreciate. I'm sorry I don't have time to thank you individually. I wasn't expecting so many replies.

After I post these replies, I will post an update on the situation. All the sh*t that has gone down in the past few days.

But first, I want to sort of attempt at making some amendments and address some genral points which have come up...

Regarding my character:

I've read lots of post by readers who seem to be judging my character/morality/manhood/etc based partially on the angry tone of my first few posts. Many seem to have assumed that I am a heartless scum bag because of this, and understandably so.

I started this thread shortly after I heard that this girl was supposedly pregnant. As some here have inferred, I was pretty upset and confused, and that flavored in my posts. I was angry and scared and I said a few controversial things which I could have phrased more lightly. I seemingly contradicted myself a few times. I was belligerent. Of course, I am not like that all the time. That is not the kind of person I am, but the kind of person I can become temporarily when something like this betrayal is dropped on me.

By now, most readers already have made judgment on my character. I cannot hope to change that, nor do I not hope to change that. But I am surprised that a lot of posters seem to have let their negative judgment of my character translate to a dismissal of the woman's deceptive behavior. By this I mean that even if you think I am a total jerk, what she did is still 100% wrong and there is no way you can rationally justify her deciding to stop taking the pill and get pregnant without even mentioning it to me.

Regarding me dating multiple women:

Dating multiple people is not wrong. It is not immoral in anyway whatsoever. The morality is in how one goes about doing it.

Lying, however, is immoral (usually).

"I date multiple women" does not mean "I am a liar". Do not confuse the two.

Free sex:

It seems many people here are basically saying I'm not a good guy because I don't pay for sex. This is such an obviously, incredibly stupid opinion to push, so I'm not going to waste my time refuting it. I think someone already address this retardedness. I just had to bring it up again.

It is interesting, though. When I read crap like that, I can't help but imagine a fat, ugly farang, sexpat who has paid prostitutes so often that he now sees it as normal or necessary. Not only that, he has somehow convinced himself that it is the moral thing to do and not paying for sex is somehow wrong. Perhaps that is a way to avoid feeling shame for having to pay, I don't know. I can only speculate.

I was angry because…

…not because she got pregnant, but because she wanted to deliberately deceive me into fatherhood. I think most understood that. But I am surprised that a lot totally didn't get it. I think people are so scared of not being PC that they just take the woman's side, despite all logic and fairness.

Child support:

Despite the fact that she has no right to make me an unwilling father by trickery, that does not mean I am excused from supporting the child.

Many have made this point. I know this. I agree with this. I didn't make that clear at beginning of this thread. I was too busy being appalled at the injustice of the situation I suddenly found myself that didn't think to make it clear. It seems many have made assumptions that I would support the child.

[onionman]

she was loving and take care you for a year and no doubt you treat her the same good way in the past. now she acting strange, for whatver reason, yes maybe she have emotional problems. but you should help her, be there for her, talk to her, explain all your worries and thats not the right time for to become a father, that your are not yet in a career position to provide the best for your kid or for the family. have a child is a big responsibility you are not ready to take on. try to talk her out of the idea of having a baby. a human being kicked unasked in this world the child maybe not like. talk about uncertain times. no question that child should be unborn for various causes. but abortion is not an easy decision, speak to her with words of reason and don't put her under pressure. thats the only thing you can do. and a gentleman should do.

if that not works, face it and provide support for your offspring and not just financial one, even if you are not together with the mother anymore. also a thing a gentleman should do.

Very insightful. Thank you very much for that. I really appreciate this and other constructive replies. I pretty much did exactly that.

Feed her plenty coffee, caffeine makes people want to pee. Then ask her for a casual sex..and tell her u want golden rain(on your face)! .. (keep the pregnant testing stick with you)

Good idea

Some of you guys sound as though you have never had unprotected sex in your lives, and that you would of gladly have stepped up to face whatever responsibility was needed. Is this the church forum? Are you guys pure and without sin? Always be careful of the holier than thou.

I was just thinking that same thing.

The only 100% guaranteed effective form is abstinence.

Did you just attend a high school sex education class, or did you come up with that one yourself?

Onionman, you say that you would not be upset if the birth control failed. I don't see the difference.

You gotta be kidding. Or maybe you missed some important points early on in this thread.

I think DamianMavis addressed this absurd question.

You don't see the difference? She deliberately tricked and used him. HUGE difference. Betrayal is not the same as an accident.

Bingo.

[onionman]

By not abstaining, you accepted this and the possible consequences.

I agree.

If she gets pregnant with your sperm, you HAVE TO support her too.

Do you really believe that? I do not have to support her. I have to support the child. And she also has to support the child.

From his story, he did nothing to deserve it, whether he is likeable as a poster or not is irrelevant, his description of his treatment of her was nothing bad.

Exactly. I was totally honest with her. I treated her with respect. In return, she deceived me and made a decision which could drastically alter my life without even mentioning it to me.

I noticed some people on here get angry or judgemental about having casual sex with women and NOT paying for it or NOT lying to get it... STRANGE at the least! I think it is far better to have a sexual relationship based on mutual lust and attraction than to pay for it... CALL ME CRAZY!

Exactly.

There is no sex for free in Thailand, forget it!

I've heard people say that before. It is kind of an over used farang sexpat proverb. Perhaps saying it makes fat, ugly farang feel better about forking over cash all the time. But it is not true. I don't know about you, buddy, but sex is always free for me. I know that you are implying that the payment is not always 1000 or 2000 baht, the next morning, but that payment can come 9 months later. But still, your statement is not true.

I think you might also mean that casual sex is not free. But still, that is not true. I don't want to go on about my sexual history here in Bangkok. But, trust me, sex is free. And that is the way it should be.

One of you said ''the guy is not deserve it, he did nothing bad to the girl'' please read between the line again he said

''she is not my girlfriend. I been dating her for almost a year. She lives in Hua Hin, I live in Bangkok. I she used to stay with me on weekends. Cooking, cleaning. Really sweet.

I "date" lots of girls. I don't go with prostitutes. I don't pay for sex. I don't give money to girls. The most I do is buy street food for them.''

So what you think? What a nice guy buys the girl who cooks, cleans and sleeps with him a street food.

What's wrong with street food? She eat's it everyday. I eat it everyday. Or do you think because I sleep with her, I should buy her expensive food? That sounds like a form of payment. Or maybe you think I should pay her?

Anyway, Thanks for your reply and the advice which you wrote after that, thaifellow.

[onionman]

You know what, guys. I am so sorry to be such a tease. I don't have time for the update right now. I spent way longer with that reply than I thought. I have to get back to sleep. Tomorrow is going to suck. I suppose I could give just a quick reply. But as I've learned, hasty posts by onionman result in people tearing into onionman big time. I will try to get the reply up by monday night. Sorry!

[Manchester]

You know what, guys. I am so sorry to be such a tease. I don't have time for the update right now. I spent way longer with that reply than I thought. I have to get back to sleep. Tomorrow is going to suck. I suppose I could give just a quick reply. But as I've learned, hasty posts by onionman result in people tearing into onionman big time. I will try to get the reply up by monday night. Sorry!

troll

[onionman]

Update

I posted about a phone call I had with her on page 4. Basically, I expressed that I felt betrayed and that I lost trust and respect for her. I also pretended I was going to move to my home country. She agreed to take some medicine which forces a miscarriage.

I talked to her every day on the phone. She said she too the medicine for 2 days. She said it worked.

Of course, I wanted proof. I had her come to Bangkok to stay with me for a couple days. She showed up with more make up than I’ve ever seen her wear. She was kind, I was kind.

My plan was to be nice, be civil, and make sure that she wasn’t lying about not being pregnant anymore. After that, I planned to stop seeing her. I wasn’t going to tell her that before I got the evidence that she was not pregnant anymore first.

I had a look. I saw enough to make me believe the medicine worked.

We saw a movie. She spent the night. I worked in the day. She is making dinner for me now, which means, from what I’ve read here, that I’m a total jerk.

We got a long. I didn’t freak out. I tried not to talk about the whole thing much. But she brought it up. Remember, at this point, she thinks we will probably keep seeing each other. She said that if she got pregnant with me again, that she would keep it. I asked her if she planned to trick me again. She didn’t answer.

I told her this… I was honest with her since day one. Almost a year, I think. I could have lied, about the other girls, I could have lied about many things. But I didn’t because deception is wrong. I wanted her to know she could trust me.

I told her that after all that, I thought she would do the same. I thought she would respect my honesty and be honest with me in return. But she tricked me. She broke the trust. I asked her if she thinks doing that is ok. She didn’t answer. Only crying quietly. I asked her how it is fair. She didn’t answer.

After a few minutes, she put on the headphones and started singing “A way back into love”, as if it would have some effect on me. It only made me more disgusted. How can she expect me to forgive her if she gives no explanation for what she did. Every time I ask her, she doesn’t answer.

You might wonder if she didn’t answer because I was screaming or something. I wasn’t. Since she’s been here, I haven’t even raised my voice once.

Now she is eating alone as I type this. I’m going to join her in a moment. I don’t think we will talk much. After eating, I'm going to 7-11 to get a pregnancy test, just to be sure. I hope she will urinate for me. Maybe I will have to pretend I forgive her again if I'm going to get any urine.

Tomorrow, she will go home. Maybe we will talk on the phone. Maybe see her again. But not romantically. Just friends, if anything.

End of story, I hope.

[WaiWai]

I had a look. I saw enough to make me believe the medicine worked.

Not sure what that means - and you must insist on a test - but it seems the outcome of the story is a satisfactory one.

[onionman]

I had a look. I saw enough to make me believe the medicine worked.

Not sure what that means - and you must insist on a test - but it seems the outcome of the story is a satisfactory one.

It means a lot of blood. I'm going to 7-11 now to get a test. But we're fighting again, so I'm not sure she will do it for me.

[blizzard]

wotdoes this chick see in this guy? this guy is horrible personified. i guess they were made for eac other. this not compliment sir.

[cdnvic]

Be easy on him blizzard. He's making it up as best he can.

[chicowoodduck]

If she is pregnant, then regardless of how crazy the mother is, or how stupid the father was, he has a duty to provide for that child. You can try blaming her for not taking her pills but when you voluntarily have unprotected sex with someone you consider a psycho you really have nobody to blame but yourself.

Absolutely 100% agree with you.

Of course, if it turns out that a lady in a case like this is pregnant, and indeed a little unstable, maybe a little test to prove that he is the father is in place.

If all confirmed, then I strongly believe in supporting the child.

Regardless of the relationship between the parents.

Two bits of sound advice, I reckon, however the back side of my thinking head (yes, the one on my shoulders ) says that if you can't go check it out in short order for yourself, send out your trusty "I Spy" crowd to see if there is a bump in the road. If the little speed bump is in fact the real deal, belly up to the bar, buy a round for the boys, and be responsible for another human being in this already over-populated world.

[onionman]

wotdoes this chick see in this guy? this guy is horrible personified. i guess they were made for eac other. this not compliment sir.

Why do u think I am so horrible? Tell me what you believe I have done wrong.

[lannarebirth]

wotdoes this chick see in this guy? this guy is horrible personified. i guess they were made for eac other. this not compliment sir.

Why do u think I am so horrible? Tell me what you believe I have done wrong.

It's a good question. If a selfish prick shows himself to be a selfish prick, but was honest enough to tell people he's a selfish prick beforehand. is he really so horrible? I vote yes.

Edited November 13, 2007 by lannarebirth

[Momo8]

Don't you think this has dragged on for too long OnionMan? (What's with the onion thing anyway,you have layers?) She doesn't want to get tested,you haven't got the guts to stand up to her and say 'Right,we're doing this now,if you're not going to get a pregnancy test done I'm dragging you down to the doc' I mean come on......

Everyone has given you all the best advice so why all these stupid games? She either is or she isn't unless this plot is going to thicken and you are using it for a Mills and Boon saga.

Medicine doesn't work unless it's the 'Day after pill' taken as soon as possible after unprotected intercourse.What rubbish! Find out one way or another what's up and cut off all contact with her if she's not decide together what to do if she is.If she's not preggers this time you'll have sex again with her and start posting again here for real.

Sounds like you are both attention seeking wasting people's time.

Also sounds like she's an airhead and you're a knob to answer your 'why am I so horrible' query.You should be doing something about it not posting here to complete strangers then bashing answers you don't like.The time it took you to answer all the replies you could have been proactive and got a kit to answer all the questions.

End of story.Amen

Edited November 13, 2007 by Momo8

[onionman]

wotdoes this chick see in this guy? this guy is horrible personified. i guess they were made for eac other. this not compliment sir.

Why do u think I am so horrible? Tell me what you believe I have done wrong.

It's a good question. If a selfish prick shows himself to be a selfish prick, but was honest enough to tell people he's a selfish prick beforehand. is he really so horrible? I vote yes.

That didn't really answer the question, did it?

Don't you think this has dragged on for too long OnionMan? (What's with the onion thing anyway,you have layers?) She doesn't want to get tested,you haven't got the guts to stand up to her and say 'Right,we're doing this now,if you're not going to get a pregnancy test done I'm dragging you down to the doc' I mean come on......

Everyone has given you all the best advice so why all these stupid games? She either is or she isn't unless this plot is going to thicken and you are using it for a Mills and Boon saga.

Medicine doesn't work unless it's the 'Day after pill' taken as soon as possible after unprotected intercourse.What rubbish! Find out one way or another what's up and cut off all contact with her if she's not decide together what to do if she is.If she's not preggers this time you'll have sex again with her start posting again here for real.

Sounds like you are both attention seeking wasting people's time.

Also sounds like she's an airhead and you're a knob to answer your 'why am I so horrible' query.You should be doing somthing about it not posting here to complete strangers then bashing answers you don't like.The time it took you to answer all the replies you could have been proactive and got a kit to answer all the questions.

End of story.Amen

You are misquoting me and putting words in my mouth. Obviously you didn't read before you opened your mouth and started spewing your crap.

Stupid games? I'm not playing any stupid games. The whole time I was trying to get her over here for a dam_n test. Yeah, I had to pretend I was leaving the country to get her to stop hanging up on me. That is not a stupid game. That is a necessary game.

And I did get her over here. And she did take medicine. And I did get the test. You don't know what you're talking about.

[WaiWai]

And I did get the test.

Did she take it ?

[Momo8]

So why are you still posting honey?

Would you like some TV members to come over and help you out? What's up with people? If I was pregnant I would want to know,what 'medicine' did she take? Can she get hold of the 'day after pill'? Can she get anything to induce labour which can't be done in the early stages anyway......and all this was....hang on,YESTERDAY?????

Better take her to the hospital if she was pregnant at all a simple ultrasound and test would detect pregnancy hormones in her system/miscarriage/pregnancy/if she was pregnant at all.

.......and you got her to cook for you while you were posting then ended up fighting.What a man! And going to see a movie was more important well guess that sums it up then.What was the movie?

Edited November 13, 2007 by Momo8

[tracer5050]

Even if she took the pill . they are not 100% she will not get pregnant, read the lables on the pills

[onionman]

And I did get the test.

Did she take it ?

Yes, she took it. Sorry, I forgot to mention the result. It was negative. Not pregnant.

So why are you still posting honey?

Would you like some TV members to come over and help you out? What's up with people? If I was pregnant I would want to know,what 'medicine' did she take? Can she get hold of the 'day after pill'? Can she get anything to induce labour which can't be done in the early stages anyway......and all this was....hang on,YESTERDAY?????

Better take her to the hospital if she was pregnant at all a simple ultrasound and test would detect pregnancy hormones in her system/miscarriage/pregnancy/if she was pregnant at all.

.......and you got her to cook for you while you were posting then ended up fighting.What a man! And going to see a movie was more important well guess that sums it up then.What was the movie?

What the hel_l is a TV member?

What medicine? I don't know. She didn't know how to say it in English. Believe me, I wanted to know the name so I could look it up on the net.

Day after pill? She WANTED TO GET PREGNANT. I said that many many times. She lied to me that she was taking birth control pills. She took them, alright. Took them out of the pack and put them in the toilet every day!

This wasn't all yesterday. She got pregnant maybe a month or so ago. She told me about a week ago, the day I started this thread. She took the medicine about 3 or 4 days ago. She came here to Bangkok about 2 days ago. I gave her the urine test this morning.

"Better take her to the hospital if she was pregnant at all" Pregnant at all? As if she could be partially pregnant?

I didn't know ultra sound could detect hormones. The pee test we did said it was negative. I saw a lot of blood, too.

I knew someone was gonna get on my case about having her cook for me. Jeeeze. So predictable. Guess who went to the supermarket to get the groceries. I did. Guess who cleaned the dishes. I did. Guess who took her to a movie when he was tired from working and stressing all day. I did. Guess who lied about taking the pill and got pregnant on purpose. She did. And you're getting on my case about her cooking dinner?

The movie was more important than what? She wanted to see a movie. So it was important for her I guess. We already had the miscarriage. We already talked everything over. I wanted to stay home. I had only slept 6 hours in the past 2 nights. What are you implying I should have been doing?

The movie was the Lamb and Sheep one with Tom Cruise. Really good actually.

Even if she took the pill . they are not 100% she will not get pregnant, read the lables on the pills

The pill is very very close to 100% effective if taken properly. Not taking the pill is 100% ineffective. And that is exactly what she did. Not take the pill.

Edited November 13, 2007 by onionman

[Alf Witt]

The OP accuses the girl of deceiving him, but who has been deceiving who here?

It seems to me that the OP has been deceiving himself and is continuing to do so.

The girl worked as an unpaid slave for him, provided him with free sex on a weekend basis and because he was "honest" (read hurtful) about his other relationships he thinks that she accepted and agreed with that when it should have been obvious that what the girl wanted was him!!! He is either deceiving himself that he did not know that to be the reality or he is exactly the insensitive pr*ck that he comes across as.

He is now deceiving himself that the same girl who only benefited from "street food" from him is now suddenly after his money and he needs "legal" advice??? People on TV are accepting that as a given!!!

Yes she was sweet, sweet enough to put up with his use and abuse of her in the hope that he would give her some commitment and now she has resorted to desperate measures by either actually getting pregnant or pretending that she is (my guess is the latter).

He says she is not a whore and I tend to believe him but he has used her as if she was and has deceived himself about the reality.

She is now a psycho because she has (admittedly, wrongly) resorted to the only weapon in her armoury.

A little introspection and understanding on his part would go a long way, but can he muster it? not a chance.

Its as clear as a pikestaff that the girl does not want a baby she wants him! It looks like she is also wiseing up when she has found his reaction.

For a guy who supposedly has so many relationships with different women he displays a remarkable failure to understand them.

[JUDAS]

Giving the OP the benefit of doubt over the validity of his story I'm gonna try and see this from the both sides. As you said Onionman, you're initial post may have come across as somewhat harsh because you were feeling angry etc.

You have said that your girlfriend ( for want of a better term ) is a "good girl." I'm assuming ( perhaps wrongly ) that a platonic relationship developed before the physical side. It would be fair to assume that as a "good girl" your GF developed strong emotions for you before sleeping together. You have said that you were totally honest with her about your relationships with other women ( with mixed reviews here ) but I don't think that can be used as justifiable reason to ignore this lady's emotional involvement. In post #14 you said she was saying "I love you," surely it would have be wise to end the situation there and then. Telling her you don't want to hear those words does not change the reality.

The fact that she stopped taking birth control without you knowledge is totally wrong on her part but, seems like an attempt to get you to make a solid commitment to her.

You may feel you've had a lucky escape this time but with your lifestyle it'll probably happen again. Read the signs. A lady cooking dinner, maybe cleaning your house, doing the laundry for you is telling you she's deeply involved!!

Could say a lot more but typing with one finger is getting tedious....

[Momo8]

1) 'What the hel_l is a TV member?'

A Thai Visa member

2) 'What medicine? I don't know. She didn't know how to say it in English.'

You should have asked to see the packet and taken it down to the doctor.

3) 'She got pregnant maybe a month or so ago. She told me about a week ago, the day I started this thread. She took the medicine about 3 or 4 days ago.' You're not up on the things are you OnionMan?

If she had a miscarriage high hormone levels would still remain in her system and be detected by another test/combined ultrasound.If the pee test was negative get a blood test and do what I suggested.Likely she wasn't pregnant at all.'Some pregnancy hormones remain in the blood for one to two months after a miscarriage.' from http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy...alrecovery.html

In order to induce a miscarriage you take the 'day after' or more commonly known as the 'morning after' pill is effective if taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex also known as Levonelle with levonorgestrel as the main ingredient.Taken a month after has no effect.Taking Cytotec also known as Misoprostal in combination with or RU-486 can be used to induce labour abort a fetous but there are side effects that was why I suggested going to the doc.How she could get these drugs? Who knows? She is not telling you the truth.

4) 'I didn't know ultra sound could detect hormones. The pee test we did said it was negative. I saw a lot of blood, too.'

An ultrasound can detect an enlargement of the womb and if as you said she took the 'medicine' 3-4 days ago there would still be evidence of the womb contracting confirming a pregnancy and a further test would confirm if there was a pregnancy or not.

Much you know about women's bodies Onion.

The pill is 99.9% effective

Judas is spot on.She wanted you exclusively.

The movie is 'Lions for Lambs' with Tom Cruise,Robert Redford and Merryl Streep. Good movie I agree.

Well go to bed Onion and count your lambs,you've had a stressful time.

Next time though don't forget this mantra 'IF IT'S NOT ON,IT's NOT ON!'

Edited November 13, 2007 by Momo8

[jstumbo]

2) 'What medicine? I don't know. She didn't know how to say it in English.'

You should have asked to see the packet and taken it down to the doctor.

There is a liquid that as a friend says "the girls that work nights" know about. It can be had at the pharmacy and basically causes a miscarriage.

[Momo8]

Fennel oil in big doses then again it is highly toxic!

[NanLaew]

lots of graphic posts. anyone refer me to a thai who takes noodles for payment........lol

Only once, 1978 on what is now 'Walking Street' in Pattaya. Met her at the Marine disco and she spent the night with me. It was low season but I was generous (foolish youth) and let her have 2 bowls.

[007]

I'm a Farang guy. My Thai girl just told me she was only pretending to take the birth control pills and now is pregnant...

I'm not to blame. It wasn't me...

[WaiWai]

QUOTE (WaiWai @ 2007-11-13 22:57:50)

QUOTE

And I did get the test.

Did she take it ?

Yes, she took it. Sorry, I forgot to mention the result. It was negative. Not pregnant.

OK; good to know. She should have a check-up with an ob/gyn - partial miscarriage can cause infection.

I seem to be almost Robinson Crusoe on this, but I don't think you did anything wrong.