She Says She Is Pregnant!

[hammered]

If you want sex with no stirngs attached it is advisable to pay a professional the going rate for it. I have heard that it is not too diffcult to arrange this kind of thing in Thailand If you choose not to take this route you will no doubt find there are all kinds of strings suddenly attached that you will have to face up to. The old I never pay for it. I never use whores and I have many partners and none of them are my girlfriend line probably just exposes some kind of mysoginy (probably spelt wrong) tinged with a touch of the insecure and inferiority complexes mixed with a minor dose of well hidden self loathing. Still there are a lot of men out here who dont seem to be able to do the man thing and accept responsibility for their own actions.

Guess the story is BS anyway.

[onionman]

I am beginning to really think the whole thing was a lie, especially after reading Momo8's last post. Maybe she never got pregnant. Maybe she just wanted to see my reaction. Yeah, it is obvious she wanted me to get really serious with her. Not a very rational way to do it, but humans are not always rational, some less than others.

One thing she said really made me feel pretty regreful about how I let the relationship continue. When I asked her why she tricked me and got pregnant, she just said sorry. I explained that "sorry" is not an answer. She didn't want to say. I asked her if she thought what she did was wrong. Again "sorry". And then "I will not see you again". Eventually, I told her that this is really frustrating and I just need to know why she did this and how she feels about it, because right now, the only explanantion I have is that she is crazy. She thought about that for a minute. Then she told me she is lonely, feels like she has nobody who cares about her. If she had a baby, it would love her. She said what she did was wrong.

Anyway, I'm never doing that again. Boy oh boy. I'm not agreeing with everything you guys are getting on my case about. But I admit, I should be more aware of how involved the girls are emotionally and not let them get to attached.

But I'm not going to stop dating. I don't want a girlfriend. I don't want to masturbate all the time. I will not pay for sex. I will just be more careful with leading girls on emotionally. Go ahead, reem me out. I will listen.

But actually, maybe I won't listen. I feel this mess is over. I'm trying to put it to rest in my head, but I keep coming back here. I'll probably keep reading your thoughts, though, for a while longer. It is useful.

There is a liquid that as a friend says "the girls that work nights" know about. It can be had at the pharmacy and basically causes a miscarriage.

Yeah, It was a liquid and tequila or .... I don't know. So hard to get clear information. But her friend told got it for her, which was her excuse for not getting the packet or knowing more about it.

lots of graphic posts. anyone refer me to a thai who takes noodles for payment........lol

Only once, 1978 on what is now 'Walking Street' in Pattaya. Met her at the Marine disco and she spent the night with me. It was low season but I was generous (foolish youth) and let her have 2 bowls.

Wow, a fellow jerk

QUOTE (WaiWai @ 2007-11-13 22:57:50)

QUOTE

And I did get the test.

Did she take it ?

Yes, she took it. Sorry, I forgot to mention the result. It was negative. Not pregnant.

OK; good to know. She should have a check-up with an ob/gyn - partial miscarriage can cause infection.

I seem to be almost Robinson Crusoe on this, but I don't think you did anything wrong.

Thanks Waiwai. I appreciate that.

I'll tell her that she should get a checkup. If she actaully took the stuff, she can do it. If she was lying, well, she can pretend to get a check up and pretend it was fine.

If you want sex with no stirngs attached it is advisable to pay a professional the going rate for it. I have heard that it is not too diffcult to arrange this kind of thing in Thailand If you choose not to take this route you will no doubt find there are all kinds of strings suddenly attached that you will have to face up to. The old I never pay for it. I never use whores and I have many partners and none of them are my girlfriend line probably just exposes some kind of mysoginy (probably spelt wrong) tinged with a touch of the insecure and inferiority complexes mixed with a minor dose of well hidden self loathing. Still there are a lot of men out here who dont seem to be able to do the man thing and accept responsibility for their own actions.

Guess the story is BS anyway.

Well.... I don't know if payment is necessary. I know lots of girls that also don't want strings attatched. Problems happen when they do want strings, but agree to no strings anyway, and eventually start attatching strings slowly over time until it's a big tangled mess.

Situations where she wants something serious but settles for less cause problems. Just like you said, insecurity, inferiority complexes and so on. I gotta avoid that kind of situation.

[onionman]

1) 'What the hel_l is a TV member?'

A Thai Visa member

Ok. Not a TV celeb. I see.

2) 'What medicine? I don't know. She didn't know how to say it in English.'

You should have asked to see the packet and taken it down to the doctor.

Yeah, I did. I asked her to get the pack, write it down. But she said her friend got it for her so she had no pack and doesn't know what to call it. Sounds fishy.

3) 'She got pregnant maybe a month or so ago. She told me about a week ago, the day I started this thread. She took the medicine about 3 or 4 days ago.' You're not up on the things are you OnionMan?

If she had a miscarriage high hormone levels would still remain in her system and be detected by another test/combined ultrasound.If the pee test was negative get a blood test and do what I suggested.Likely she wasn't pregnant at all.'Some pregnancy hormones remain in the blood for one to two months after a miscarriage.' from http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancy...alrecovery.html

In order to induce a miscarriage you take the 'day after' or more commonly known as the 'morning after' pill is effective if taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex also known as Levonelle with levonorgestrel as the main ingredient.Taken a month after has no effect.Taking Cytotec also known as Misoprostal in combination with or RU-486 can be used to induce labour abort a fetous but there are side effects that was why I suggested going to the doc.How she could get these drugs? Who knows? She is not telling you the truth.

What you say about the hormones confirms what I was thinking when I was looking at the little urine test stick. If she was pregnant, the hormones should still be in the body and there should be one more red line on this test, regardless if this blood is a miscarriage or not. Probably, the blood was just her regular monthly period.

4) 'I didn't know ultra sound could detect hormones. The pee test we did said it was negative. I saw a lot of blood, too.'

An ultrasound can detect an enlargement of the womb and if as you said she took the 'medicine' 3-4 days ago there would still be evidence of the womb contracting confirming a pregnancy and a further test would confirm if there was a pregnancy or not.

Much you know about women's bodies Onion.

The pill is 99.9% effective

Well, if I really wanted to know what happened, I could get further tests, if she agreed. But now I know she is not pregnant. Either she lied that she was taking the pill, or she lied that she was pregnant. Further test might explain which lie she was telling, either way, I don't care. She is not pregnant now and I it's best that I don't see this girl romantically again. It's over and over.

Judas is spot on.She wanted you exclusively.

Yup

[LaoPo]

Sorry, I forgot to mention the result. It was negative. Not pregnant.

And this Boys and Girls, Ladies & Gentlemen is the end of a Thai Drama serie.

LaoPo

[blizzard]

its over when the maid and cook realizes she getting paid with a good ole fashion humping.

[DamianMavis]

Cut her loose, completely... you probably slept with her again didnt you? I know, I know... its tough not to. But get rid of her and tell her straight. She lied and betrayed and tricked you, and that can never be forgiven. Move on. Don't see girls for long extended times, its seems mean but give a time limit to yourself of like 2 months, then bye bye, trust me, you are being kinder by getting rid of them before they are too deeply attached. Another thing you might want to do is make sure you don't see them too often or too regular. If you just give them a booty call every once in a while they know where they stand and won't expect too much. Dont even answer phone calls in my opinion... do every thing from sms, they realise pretty quick the level of importantce they have to you and it will help protect their hearts. Sounds like an ahole? Well I think its better to not let them fall in love if you have no intention of giving them love back.

Damian

[kat]

... Don't see girls for long extended times, its seems mean but give a time limit to yourself of like 2 months, then bye bye, trust me, you are being kinder by getting rid of them before they are too deeply attached. Another thing you might want to do is make sure you don't see them too often or too regular. If you just give them a booty call every once in a while they know where they stand and won't expect too much. Dont even answer phone calls in my opinion... do every thing from sms, they realise pretty quick the level of importantce they have to you and it will help protect their hearts. Sounds like an ahole? Well I think its better to not let them fall in love if you have no intention of giving them love back.

Damian

No, I'm sorry, but I don't think this is humane at all. You will be treating her like a piece of meat, with absolutely no explanation at all. This is fine for a one-night stand or a mutually-agreed upon gig, but the disappearance acts are harsh. You might as well go to prostitutes for that matter.

[Momo8]

LOL what a response from a serial dater! Onion is not up to your speed Damian, or else he would have never have got himself in that predicament.Well Onion if you just want a <deleted> buddy do as D suggested and stay away from emotional entanglements or go to prostitutes who knows ?One day you may really fall in love then what goes around comes around

How do you feel about your boobs by the way?

Edited November 14, 2007 by Momo8

[kat]

LOL what a response from a serial dater! Onion is not up to your speed Damian, or else he would have never have got himself in that predicament.Well Onion if you just want a <deleted> buddy do as D suggested and stay away from emotional entanglements or go to prostitutes who knows ?One day you may really fall in love then what goes around comes around

How do you feel about your boobs by the way?

Oh, am I a serial dater, now? Didn't now, but astonishing how you might presume to know. You've answered the question above much more in-depth than me, so no need for me to go on.

[Momo8]

Sorry Kat but you posted as I was posting so yours went up first. The 'serial dater' was directed at Damian and yes,what goes around comes around! Nobody really wants to have meaningless relationships forever,unless you are Hugh Hefner,so players will get their just desserts one day.Fate does sneak up and bite people on the arse when they least expect it.

[kat]

oh, sorry, Momo - I was wondering why you suddenly flamed me! Nevermind.

[DamianMavis]

No no, I don't follow my own advice, I've had a 7 year followed by a 5 year followed by my current almost 4 year relationship... Im a serial RELATIONSHIPER . But my advice was to get him to limit the damage he might be doing. In my opinion better to hurt them a little than alot, since... we know he is not going to stop. I think my advice is pretty good since he is going to continue living his life the way he wants. And I wasn't advocating dissapearing, but telling them officially that you can't see them anymore after a limitted time.

Damian

[Andiamo]

WOW just taken me 40 mins to read this thread from start to finish... was it worth it???? Mmmm Dum de dum de dum, I think not.

Morale of this story, as we say in the Uk - "If you can't be good, be careful!!" Wear a rubber!

[Alf Witt]

Morale of this story, as we say in the Uk - "If you can't be good, be careful!!" Wear a rubber!

Better still, get a rubber doll - no emotional attachments !!

[hulabula]

Personally, I am really very sorry to see how cold people are towards each other in this forum. And have seen it many, many times before. I maybe will never fully understand why people have to talk in such inhuman way to the OP. I keep asking myself, why it is so necessary for people inhere, to demean each other, especially the OP.

Maybe I am just not as clever as the attackers of the OP here, but I really feel sorry for the OP. According to his description, I cannot see, that the way he is treated by her, is fair. The case is simple: They made an agreement. She broke it, deceived him, took advantage of his belief in her, and (maybe) let him enslave, financially, by her. How on earth, can a man, who chooses to trust another human, be accused, doing so?

You have my full sympathy, Onionman. According to your description of the case, you did nothing wrong.

To the many posters here, who flame OP, I would like to request you to treat the Op as a human. Some - actually many - of the replies I read here, are really evil. And not necessary at all. Please be humans. And contructive in your approach. I would also like to urge the moderators in TV, internally, to discuss the policy again, about what is acceptable and not acceptable to write here. This post is a very good example, how a normal and very relevant problem, clearly posted by a well educated, rational, intelligent man, can be turned into something not very useful. Please reconsider the policy on this forum.

Thank you.

[kat]

... Don't see girls for long extended times, its seems mean but give a time limit to yourself of like 2 months, then bye bye, trust me, you are being kinder by getting rid of them before they are too deeply attached. Another thing you might want to do is make sure you don't see them too often or too regular. If you just give them a booty call every once in a while they know where they stand and won't expect too much. Dont even answer phone calls in my opinion... do every thing from sms, they realise pretty quick the level of importantce they have to you and it will help protect their hearts. Sounds like an ahole? Well I think its better to not let them fall in love if you have no intention of giving them love back.

Damian

No, I'm sorry, but I don't think this is humane at all. You will be treating her like a piece of meat, with absolutely no explanation at all. This is fine for a one-night stand or a mutually-agreed upon gig, but the disappearance acts are harsh. You might as well go to prostitutes for that matter.

No no, I don't follow my own advice, I've had a 7 year followed by a 5 year followed by my current almost 4 year relationship... Im a serial RELATIONSHIPER . But my advice was to get him to limit the damage he might be doing. In my opinion better to hurt them a little than alot, since... we know he is not going to stop. I think my advice is pretty good since he is going to continue living his life the way he wants. And I wasn't advocating dissapearing, but telling them officially that you can't see them anymore after a limitted time.

Damian

Actually, I need to call you out on this one, Damian. You are giving out advice that you don't follow, because from the sounds of it, you are not a prick. You are most likely basing this account on what you see other pricks around you doing, and then assume that this is the way to manage non-relationships without hurting an innocent party. It is not. There is no way to gauge if someone is going to be less hurt at 2 months, or 2 weeks, if you do not openly tell her of your intentions from the start. If you have been entertaining her as a booty call or "free sex" without her knowledge on a continual basis, and then dump her or "get rid of her" after a short while - so that you don't get too close to "hurting" her - then don't bother with the pretense; you have already treated her like garbage. If you go out of your way to charm women enough to want to sleep with you on a continual basis, and then resort to "tricks" to emphasize her place of "importance" after the fact, then you most definitely SHOULD be seeing a professional and paying for it because that's how you are treating an innocent bystander.

Based on what you said about serial relationships, and from what I know and respect about you Damian, it doesn't seem like this would be your attitude. But, if you have been picking this up from observing other males around you in LOS, you need to know that it is not low-cost or damage free.

[Dakhar]

then you most definitely SHOULD be seeing a professional and paying for it because that's how you are treating an innocent bystander.

Got to say I agree.... but even then, how do the pro's really not get attached too? "Short time" yea I can see them not getting attached... too much, but then they have to live with the fact they are considered only meat. Then "Long time" or vacation associates/tour or full service tour guides, how do they not get emotionally attached etc?

Actually the subject fascinates me, but maybe "they" just don't think at such levels. "Live for the day" etc?

[Momo8]

On the subject of 'serial daters' the boot is on the other foot in China but the guys lose out here.Shanghanese friends have the SMS and stringing guys along game down to an artform.HK girls closely follow their sisters up north.Forums are littered with broken hearts 'How could she treat me this way' ,'She disappeared after two months' 'She won't answer my messages' Thai women have a lot to learn from their Chinese counterparts here.

Are Thai women more needy? It makes me wonder.I think from a practical point of view Onion,if you want flings without attachments find someone who is on the same base as you are and wants the same thing ie. a sexual encounters without strings.Innocent and inexperienced girls of course are going to fall in love,get attached and want more from you than you are ready to give.Playing them for two months and then unloading them is a callous thing to do but thing is if you want sex then you need to play them along and be charming that's why it's not fair.

I'd do what Damian suggested and cut off all contact with that poor girl as she still has feelings for you and if you are not prepared to get exclusively involved with her,forget it,being 'just friends' just wouldn't work out.Find yourself a <deleted> buddy.

[t.s]

It doesnt matter that the op gets overly defensive and angry and replies like a jerk to those who he feels attacked by, based on the info given, what she did is horrible. From his story, he did nothing to deserve it, whether he is likeable as a poster or not is irrelevant, his description of his treatment of her was nothing bad. I don't bother considering the op is lying because it doesnt matter, people should respond to a post based on the info given, not summarily decide if its true or not, just advise and give opinions on what they do know, not what they think is the truth or wish was the truth.

Bottom line is it is absolutely horrible to bring a new life into the world purposefully solely to trap and extort money from another person. This child will suffer due to his mothers greedy lying evil scheming for the rest of his life.

The reason I'm defending him a little is because he is a bit like me. I DO NOT LIE TO WOMEN TO GET THEM TO SLEEP WITH ME. I'm like one of the few that dont and I pride myself on that. Being honest should be rewarded, not punished. Sooooo many guys (Thai and farang) talk all kinds of crazy crap to get laid, I refuse to. They lie and pretend they love the girl, have sex and are GONE. Sure that means I won't hook up with as many girls possibly (if I were single) but I can have an easy conscience knowing that I didnt lie or trick anyone, make false promises or elude to giving them something I wasnt prepared to give. But yes many times I've been burned anyway no matter how honest I was... girls agreeing that we are just friends having sex and acting like everything is cool for months will suddenly freak out and go crazy acting like you tricked them and didnt deliver your promises of whatever they had in mind (marriage, long term relationship, commitment etc...) Like someone already said, women seem to believe only what they want to believe, not what you say.

I noticed some people on here get angry or judgemental about having casual sex with women and NOT paying for it or NOT lying to get it... STRANGE at the least! I think it is far better to have a sexual relationship based on mutual lust and attraction than to pay for it... CALL ME CRAZY! And I also think its much better to not lie and trick to get women into bed, to be honest and tell them exactly what you are prepared to give them in terms of commitment.

Damian

get over yourself man, its common decency, it doesn't make you unique or special.

[WaiWai]

Onion,if you want flings without attachments find someone who is on the same base as you are and wants the same thing ie. a sexual encounters without strings

I believe that's more or less what he thought he had, and what he thought she understood. He's learnt more about the socio-cultural nuances of communication and relationships now.

He needs a gik. Look amongst the early 20's, more educated & more hip crowd.

Good luck, Onionman. (Try garlic to keep the vampires away ? )

[Momo8]

Anyway Onion,just out of curiosity since you said you were dating 'other girls'......do they know about each other?Maybe personally because you hang around the same places or you've told all your 'girls' you are seeing someone else at the same time.....I mean they may gang up together on you then that would be another story!

[DamianMavis]

T.S. of course it is common decency... but then why do so few people do it? Most men selfishly say and do whatever they have to, to get laid. I simply never have. You really think most men tell it straight? You must come from a place full of really nice guys that have little sex drives. Sorry if it bothers you that I took pride in that. If you do it too then you should feel better knowing you are doing a decent thing.

Kat, you misunderstood, my advice was based on the assumption that he was going to continue doing what he has been doing, which is telling girls straight right from the beginning that he just wants a sex partner. That is what so many people gave him crap for, he is totally straight and honest, but then lets them stick around for a year and develop real feelings for him. I'm telling him to not let these "sex friends" relationships go on too long. My experience is that feelings do get involved after a long time being intimate with the same person and it would be more humane to "break up" with the sex buddy hopefully before that happens.

Dakhar, I think the pros do get attached sometimes. But the times I've seen it, it was with a young guy they werent charging.... think if they take money out of the equation it is like a switch on their heart.

Damian

[maprao]

Let her have (prove) a test in your presence with a urine-test; you'll know within minutes.

LaoPo

Good idea, also for between $300-$400 you can have a DNA test to establish paternity. Cheap in the long rum if you suspect the baby is not yours.

[Momo8]

Crap he's been telling girls right from the beginning he just wants a sex partner!!! What drugs are you on Damian? If you did that would you really think any girl other than a pro would take him on? ' Hi I'm Onion I want you to be my sex buddy.I can't give you commitment,I'm seeing other girls too.'

Thing is why does he want MANY sex partners as opposed to a regular sex buddy? That's the impression I got anyway.

Doesn't take Einstein to figure out that girl was giving him a Thai 'yes I want to be your sex partner' when in fact she meant 'No I don't just want to be your sex buddy,I want to be your exclusive gf'.Most women who have physical contact with a guy get emotionally involved,that's a woman's pshyche.Men have a physical need women need an emotional attachment at some point.You would have to go looking for sex buddies in the bored married women league or hip young crowd as you said,but if you are not prepared to have some emotional attachment at some stage Onion is that a really satisfying situation for you?

You need to be really played by girls to learn the hard lessons in life.Some guys' egos I dunno,a legend in their own minds.

[blizzard]

i agree thi gurls r anything but dumb.

im happy to be oe of yr sex partners, just gve me bowl of rice ....... what a jke!

Edited November 15, 2007 by blizzard

[DamianMavis]

Right a bowl of rice is insufficient payment? Cripes how insulting to women, the minute a woman has sex she is owed some form of payment? Like a hooker? Im sure billions of women the world over would find philosophies like that extremely sexist and insulting. They cant have sex without immediately being classified as a prostitute unless it's their husbands?

Damian

[Momo8]

Wasn't it street noodles Onion mentioned? Nothing wrong with rice or noodles,however,champagne breakfast in bed is way better! Thailand is not a place where equality rules in relationships. Sexual relationships should be balanced where both partners give and receive pleasure.So Onion bought the girl noodles and she cooked for him,so that's a balance,nothing wrong with that.

The concept of a 'sex buddy' can't exist in Thailand,there are the very good traditional Thai girls or the pros or the poor girls who want a relationship.The hip young crowd maybe.......... maybe Onion should look towards the farang females for a sex buddy,both sides know where they stand.Then again a foreign girl would expect at least KFC or Maccas hehehe.

So Damian if you're so hot in bed as you so graphically described guess your partner is buying YOU the meals not the other way around.

Edited November 15, 2007 by Momo8

[qwertz]

Crap he's been telling girls right from the beginning he just wants a sex partner!!! What drugs are you on Damian? If you did that would you really think any girl other than a pro would take him on? ' Hi I'm Onion I want you to be my sex buddy.I can't give you commitment,I'm seeing other girls too.'

Thing is why does he want MANY sex partners as opposed to a regular sex buddy? That's the impression I got anyway.

Doesn't take Einstein to figure out that girl was giving him a Thai 'yes I want to be your sex partner' when in fact she meant 'No I don't just want to be your sex buddy,I want to be your exclusive gf'.Most women who have physical contact with a guy get emotionally involved,that's a woman's pshyche.Men have a physical need women need an emotional attachment at some point.You would have to go looking for sex buddies in the bored married women league or hip young crowd as you said,but if you are not prepared to have some emotional attachment at some stage Onion is that a really satisfying situation for you?

You need to be really played by girls to learn the hard lessons in life.Some guys' egos I dunno,a legend in their own minds.

Amen to this!

[Jim's_a_Thai_Fox]

hi,

from the way I read it, this guy has been living in Thailand and dating several women.... he has been honest with them (i.e. he has told them that they are not the 'only one' and that he is seeing other women) and has left it up to each woman to decide if she wants to be in this casual relaationship. The women concerned are all adults (one supposes) and are free to engage in a similar practice if they want to or to walk away if they desire a traditional 'steady' relationship. This is type of scenario is not all that rare amongst single, sexuall and emotionally mature adults.

The point that is pissing him off is simple - this woman has knowingly gotten pregnant to trap him. Cleaning, cooking, street food, paying her...or whatever else has been bantered about is totally immaterial.

Yes, one can say 'you did it mate, now lump it' or 'she cleaned for you and you poked her, now be a good father'... However, the fact is simple...she has done a terrible thing. Either she is bluffing him and causing him terrible anxiety or worse still, she has willingly gotten pregnant and will bring an innocent baby into this world.

He should establish if she is indeed pregnant and then, if she is, get a paternity test. Should the horrible truth be that she is pregnant and that it is his... well, that is up to him and his conscience. The innocent one would be the baby and my heart goes out to it, should it ever be born into this awful situation.

My overall emotion is one of sympathy for the OP (even if my ego also says 'if you play with matches...'). I hope this terrible situation pans out that she is simply trying to bluff the OP into committing to her and to no one else.

Just out of interest, if she, or any other of your girlfriends, fell pregnant 'accidentally' by you and wanted to keep the baby, what would you do?

Thanks, and good luck

James

[blizzard]

a good thing for us to know would be where he gets his gurls from. if from the villages THEN everything BECUMS clear.

if he beds hi so and middle class chicks then he is a stud, some guys can get gurls no problemo(not always a good thing).

COME ON PEEPLE WHERES THE RELATIONSHIP ASPECT OF ALL THIS, HE JUST WANTS SEX AND LOTS OF IT. i dont tink buy gurl street food and havin sex with them is dating.........lol.

lastly , you have sex with gurls, things happen, not all good. good thing for him his maid cook sex partner has medical background........lol.

jim they not his girlfriends..............

Edited November 15, 2007 by blizzard