Have You Met Mr Right In Thailand ?

[peter991]

I have been coming to Thailand for the last 8 years. I did retire at one stage, but wasn't ready and went back home.

I thought I found Mr Right 4 years ago - but it was lust instead of love. We lasted 3 years.

Without trying, I have now found Mr Right Number 2 - he's everything I have ever wanted in a partner: mature, quiet sense of humour, university educated, good Government job, speaks good English etc. The only downside is he only gets 2 weeks' holidays a year - plus various Government holidays.

Enough about me. Just wondering how many other readers have found their Mr Right, how long it took and how long they have been together.

How many readers are happy with one-night stands? How many (perish the thought!) combine BOTH.

Peter

[expatwannabe]

7 yrs 2 mos and counting.

[arco27]

I am in happy relationship for the past 33 years, but with a South American guy. our love ans sex is as strong as ever, but certain aspects of our sexual tastes have to be found outside our relationship. Years ago we agreed to take some of our holiday separately, I always (sometimes with my partner) come to Thailand, mainly to Rawai (Phuket) where I rent the same house for the past 15 years and I have lots of Thai friends and sex partners, all know that I have a permanent partner and all are mature enough to understand, accept and enjoy the time we spend together.

[popshirt]

Without trying, I have now found Mr Right Number 2 - he's everything I have ever wanted in a partner: mature, quiet sense of humour, university educated, good Government job, speaks good English etc. The only downside is he only gets 2 weeks' holidays a year - plus various Government holidays.

Peter

My experience has been the same as yours. My partner has similar qualities and qualifications. I certainly wasn't looking, nor would I have chosen a partner so much younger than I am, but it just happened over time and our love grows stronger as we have lived together now for two years. We have known each other longer than that.

Actually he is Mr. Right #4. #1 and I were together 13 years, #2 for 7 years, and #3 for 17 years. #1 has died but # 2 & 3 are still good friends of mine. These relationships were mostly monogamous. But my present relationship is not necessarily monogamous, we have a kind of privacy-coupled-with-respect policy about it and it seems to work for us. Sexually he is the most satisfying lover I have ever had although sex is not at the core of our relationship, intimacy is.

He is pursuing an advanced degree now and that, along with lack of much holiday time at his job means that we stay mostly in Bkk. But I travel on my own as well even though I would prefer his companionship.

[rixalex]

I am in happy relationship for the past 33 years, but with a South American guy. our love ans sex is as strong as ever, but certain aspects of our sexual tastes have to be found outside our relationship. Years ago we agreed to take some of our holiday separately, I always (sometimes with my partner) come to Thailand, mainly to Rawai (Phuket) where I rent the same house for the past 15 years and I have lots of Thai friends and sex partners, all know that I have a permanent partner and all are mature enough to understand, accept and enjoy the time we spend together.

This type of open relationship seems very common amongst the gay community. Why is this the case? Is it not possible to get complete sexual satisfaction from one partner?

As a straight person who has always had absolutely nothing against gays and would indeed argue for greater gay rights, it's the issue of failing in monogagmy that i struggle with and affects my opinion of gay couples. You might say that's judgemental and that if it works for them why not, but it's only the same standards that i set for myself and my straight friends. Or does the fact that you are being open and honest in your adultery make it different?

[popshirt]

[

This type of open relationship seems very common amongst the gay community. Why is this the case? Is it not possible to get complete sexual satisfaction from one partner?

As a straight person who has always had absolutely nothing against gays and would indeed argue for greater gay rights, it's the issue of failing in monogagmy that i struggle with and affects my opinion of gay couples. You might say that's judgemental and that if it works for them why not, but it's only the same standards that i set for myself and my straight friends. Or does the fact that you are being open and honest in your adultery make it different?

There are probably as many reasons as there are male couples (or singles) who have rejected the heterosexual "standard" of monogamy. And many gay males are adamantly in favour of monogamy as well. I was of this opinion for many years myself.

For me, "fidelity" is more important than strict "monogamy". I also have come to believe that a male/male relationship has a very different dynamic than a male/female relationship. It certainly is possible to get complete sexual satisfaction from one partner; this is the case with me and my present partner. But we also leave open the possibility to explore (have sanuk) with other men without guilt or recrimination. Adultery or that cruel term "cheating" are not a words in our relationship vocabulary.

[thaicurious]

This type of open relationship seems very common amongst the gay community. Why is this the case? Is it not possible to get complete sexual satisfaction from one partner?

As a straight person who has always had absolutely nothing against gays and would indeed argue for greater gay rights, it's the issue of failing in monogagmy that i struggle with and affects my opinion of gay couples. You might say that's judgemental and that if it works for them why not, but it's only the same standards that i set for myself and my straight friends. Or does the fact that you are being open and honest in your adultery make it different?

open and honest in adultery? nothing judgmental about that. though adultery rather carries connotation of deceit, does it not?

is it truly more common to the gay community or is the str8 community just more in the closet about it? or worse yet, simply stuck in unsatisfying relationships? is it that str8 guys don't want to play with others or that their relationships are not strong enough to hold together if they do?

i suspect percentages are similar in both groups as to who desires monogamy and who wants to play. i suspect also that gays get to play more, or at least are more open about it, due to factors like confidence and security whereas str8s might not play so much or only play covertly because of factors like fear and jealousy. which is the more honorable motivation of character? judge that instead.

[rixalex]

This type of open relationship seems very common amongst the gay community. Why is this the case? Is it not possible to get complete sexual satisfaction from one partner?

As a straight person who has always had absolutely nothing against gays and would indeed argue for greater gay rights, it's the issue of failing in monogagmy that i struggle with and affects my opinion of gay couples. You might say that's judgemental and that if it works for them why not, but it's only the same standards that i set for myself and my straight friends. Or does the fact that you are being open and honest in your adultery make it different?

open and honest in adultery? nothing judgmental about that. though adultery rather carries connotation of deceit, does it not?

is it truly more common to the gay community or is the str8 community just more in the closet about it? or worse yet, simply stuck in unsatisfying relationships? is it that str8 guys don't want to play with others or that their relationships are not strong enough to hold together if they do?

i suspect percentages are similar in both groups as to who desires monogamy and who wants to play. i suspect also that gays get to play more, or at least are more open about it, due to factors like confidence and security whereas str8s might not play so much or only play covertly because of factors like fear and jealousy. which is the more honorable motivation of character? judge that instead.

You seem to have made some pretty sweeping judgements yourself... about straight people.

[popshirt]

rixalex has his point of view and says he judges everyone by the same (his) standard. Nothing wrong with that, and it is commendable that he admits he struggles with the issue as applied to gay people. Nothing wrong with that either. By acknowledging that monogamy is his and not a universal standard he is not judging gay people as a group.

I do take issue with his phrase "failing in monogamy" because some have never even tried that, others have and found it inappropriate for them, and others are strictly monogamous, and some are even celibate. I don't see failure in monogamy as a feature of gay life.

I say again, the issue for me is fidelity--and that involved much communication, honesty and trust--with your partner, the issue is not what you do with your body parts. For one thing, gay male couples are not able to procreate which is/was the most important argument for monogamy. As for adultery, who can be adulterous when they are not allowed to marry?

[Ijustwannateach]

As we all know, monogamous straight married couples always live happily ever after and virtually never find anything lacking in the mainstream paradigm... but I feel that this is getting things off-topic.

I have met a couple of very nice fellows here, but the dynamic wasn't good quite enough for me to agree to the long term. Still looking and relatively optimistic, though the road gets bumpy sometimes.

BTW, the way the poll is set up, "no" is divided three ways- "No," "No but still looking," and "No and not looking" should be added together to compare the full "no" vote with the "yes" vote.

"S"

[expatwannabe]

As a straight person who has always had absolutely nothing against gays and would indeed argue for greater gay rights, it's the issue of failing in monogagmy that i struggle with and affects my opinion of gay couples. You might say that's judgemental and that if it works for them why not, but it's only the same standards that i set for myself and my straight friends. Or does the fact that you are being open and honest in your adultery make it different?

That's great that you are monogamous. I wholeheartedly support it and employ it in my relationship.

However, for the majority of gay men, we are already 'outlaws' with respect to our sexuality. We feel fortunate if we live in a community/city/country where there's a majority that recognizes our relationships. With that hanging over our heads, is it not surprising that a lot of men would live-up to the propaganda? I mean, there are so many people saying that our relationships are worthless. For most gay men, this has affected self-perception.

There are other factors - like the fact that men are naturally more promiscuous than women. In a straight relationship, you have a natural moderator of behavior.

Anyway, I'm not justifying promiscuity. But from psychological and statistical standpoints, I understand why it happens.

Edited January 6, 2008 by expatwannabe

[Jingthing]

This type of open relationship seems very common amongst the gay community. Why is this the case? Is it not possible to get complete sexual satisfaction from one partner?

As a straight person who has always had absolutely nothing against gays and would indeed argue for greater gay rights, it's the issue of failing in monogagmy that i struggle with and affects my opinion of gay couples. You might say that's judgemental and that if it works for them why not, but it's only the same standards that i set for myself and my straight friends. Or does the fact that you are being open and honest in your adultery make it different?

It ain't adultery if you aren't married, and most of us aren't allowed to be married.

Straight critics criticize our famous promiscuity, and then deny us the same civil rights to marry, in the cases where we do wish this arrangement.

You can't be pleased, so we do what the (%%)&*%) we want. We don't exist to please you or get your approval. We are not only as good as you are, in many cases we are better. OK now?

Edited January 6, 2008 by Jingthing

[legag]

Mr. Right? Sure! Mr. Right NOW that is I'm looking for.

Seriously when he comes he comes, when it happens it happens, doesn't it? Happy for those who have found the right one (or two or three or more!! ) and those who lives with your own self RIGHT NOW, be as well happy and make the best out of it. Life is so much more to enjoy apart from Mr. or Mrs. Right-Now-And-Forever.

"Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all"

[endure]

This type of open relationship seems very common amongst the gay community. Why is this the case? Is it not possible to get complete sexual satisfaction from one partner?

As a straight person who has always had absolutely nothing against gays and would indeed argue for greater gay rights, it's the issue of failing in monogagmy that i struggle with and affects my opinion of gay couples. You might say that's judgemental and that if it works for them why not, but it's only the same standards that i set for myself and my straight friends. Or does the fact that you are being open and honest in your adultery make it different?

It ain't adultery if you aren't married, and most of us aren't allowed to be married.

Straight critics criticize our famous promiscuity, and then deny us the same civil rights to marry, in the cases where we do wish this arrangement.

You can't be pleased, so we do what the (%%)&*%) we want. We don't exist to please you or get your approval. We are not only as good as you are, in many cases we are better. OK now?

Jing's the MAN!

[ProThaiExpat]

The desirability or lack thereof of monogamy is a societal issue shaped by many factors, however, I suspect that religion, as a bulwark of societal stability, promotes monogamy among straights due to their issue, children.

Less chance for a marital breakup if there is monogamy may well have been a widely adopted view applied for the benefit of stable marriages, all to the benefit of children.

Without children as a natural byproduct of gay relationships, monogamy may well not be as important than in straight relationships with children.

Also, many societies, often strong Roman Catholic ones in Europe in the past, required strong marital ties but with an acknowledgment that men are allowed mistresses as long as the wife and family remains pre-eminent in society.

Having been a strong adherent of monogamous relationships my entire adult life, except of late, I am now in a relationship that is so strong that monogamy is no longer important to me, as long as respect remains and respect goes hand in hand with discretion. I have no interest in straying and I have no indication my mate does either, but the possibility has been considered and is of little concern to me.

Perhaps the strength of the relationship, as measured by the love shared, has something to do with the issue of the importance of monogamy in gay relationships?

[cm-happy]

why vent and rant to Rixalex??

He' a "straight man with nothing against gays"

But wait!! ask yourself why is he lurking about the gay forum on this occasion and several others?

To reinforce his homophobia "nothing against gays"

Or a closet case heavily into denial to reenforce his denial. I'm not gay, I'm not gay and uses the monogomy issue as proof to himself

wonder when he will be coming out of the closet?

[dukkha]

What do they say in the hetero marriage ceremony...something along the lines of ' in sickness and health'

This has now come to pass after 3 years..We have had a wonderful relationship, ups and downs, and now the

downs are upon us...Sam has a herniated disc in medical parlance..he has gone to the bosom of his family

but we have not fallen out of love...the active sex life waned some time ago but the intimacy and love have endured ( no pun intended to our esteemed moderator )..It has been a roller coaster for some montths with his health issues, but I am to continue what has been, at an advanced age for me, the most important relationship of my life and do not

intend to throw him to the wind or even the zephyers..we both needs to realign both emotionally and psychologicaly for the benefit of both our mental healths..the age difference, the educational difference, the whole gamut of cross cultural difficulties...it is too precious to let pass...is there a Mr Right/Left....I can say, unequivocally, I met a soul mate despite the

vast differences...how do we communicate? With the heart and the spirit...sometimes not adequate but hey, perfection is an illusion..we share the human condition, and what a commonality that is...Some of you who are posting on this thread know of my thoughts and feelings...but tonight I felt it important for me to reaffirm publically what has happened in the last three years of what has been the most important relationship of my life.. I have learnt so much..sure there have been those who have said 'move on' and indeed that is what I am doing, all changes and I happily embrace impermance, suffering and non ego..no not a Buddhist but in 8 years in LOS, a lot of what I have observed makes more sense than the 50 or so years I spent in a western kulcha...as the thais so aptly put it...born, get old, get sick and die..for us farangs there is still a lot to be learnt from this attitude to living, once one has learnt how to die, then one can begin to live..

Dukkha

[Ijustwannateach]

At OP's request, I've changed the format of the poll a bit to reflect the yes/no division more clearly, with some explanation about the "no" vote.

[ProThaiExpat]

dukkha: So beautifully said and so right on!! Your post reminds how many of us share such similar emotional lives. Thanks.

[Onnutrd]

As a gay individual, I also can't understand some gay relationships.

One thing I can not understand is why in gay relationships is it common to have sexual relationships outside of the current relationship?

As an individual in a relationship myself, I understand that some men need sex. Why can't they find it in the current relationship?

For me, I love my boyfriend so I could not hurt him and perform sexual acts with other individuals. Is it the same for other individuals, straight, gay or bi?

Is it gay individuals in particular that have this sort of 'open relationship' or is it simply that straight/bi individual's are less open about their 'sexual activities'.

Whether one is gay, straight or bi, as far as I'm concerned, sexual activities outside of one's relationship are a big no-no. Some people have a name for that sort of thing (e.g, cheating, adultery etc) as so kindly provided in the above replies. As such, I also have one more question:

Are the needs of one individual within a relationship more important than the needs of the relationship altogether?

From my perspective, as a 20 year old gay, sexual activities is one of those few acts which are uniquely satisfied by that of the other individual within the same relationship (and no other). Is'nt this one of the main points of having a relationship?

It seems that what happens in some of these forums is the minute you have a negative reply, one get's an immediate argument. I'm not asking for an argument, I'd really like to know because I can't understand it.

In the interim, I completely agree with Rixalex's first comment on this issue.

[rixalex]

why vent and rant to Rixalex??

He' a "straight man with nothing against gays"

But wait!! ask yourself why is he lurking about the gay forum on this occasion and several others?

To reinforce his homophobia "nothing against gays"

Or a closet case heavily into denial to reenforce his denial. I'm not gay, I'm not gay and uses the monogomy issue as proof to himself

wonder when he will be coming out of the closet?

Mr Happy,

I wasn't aware that i had been on the receiving end of any rants. I thought that most of the responses to my post had been reasoned and informative, and indeed helped enlighten me on an issue i'd always found hard to understand (still do by the way).

For me what distinguishes the people who post on this forum and who share opinions on a wide range of subjects on a daily basis, is those who can accept differences of opinion and those who can't and who will hold grudges against whoever posted something they didn't agree with.

Mr Happy (ironic name that) is still festering over an old thread in which he asked for some help regards failings in his relationship - he didn't like my response but as i told him at the time, when you open your private life up in an environment like the net, you have to accept a broad range of opinions, some that you may not like.

As to your comments sir about me "lurking" in the gay forum. By "lurking", do mean reading and occasionally commenting. Well yes, guilty as charged, but doesn't that describe a lot of us? Should i comment more often so as to lose the dirty and sinister "lurker" tag?

Or perhaps the reason you call me a lurker is not that i don't contribute enough, but rather i claim to be from "the other side". Perhaps you feel like this gay forum is your own territory and those who trespass without invitation should be politely pointed in another direction.

On the issue of my "claim" to be straight... well to have that one thrown in my face as if by way on an insult is bizarre to me given both the context and the direction it was thrown from. I couldn't possibly care less what you chose to believe about my sexuality. There was a time (way back when i was kicking around in a school yard) when i would have vigorously and aggressively if necessary, defended my sexual status. I'm pleased to report i have since grown up and would happily declare to the world that i was as gay as a window if it happened to be the truth.

Expatwannabe - so sad what you say about being like "Outlaws" - in this day and age it just shouldn't be like that. Your point about hetrosexual relationships having a natural moderator of behavior in the woman is so true.

Pro Tha Expat - valid points about religion and families playing a big role in encouraging monogamy

Dhukkha - as someone else said, that was beautiful

Onnutrd - wish i had your wisdom and maturity at 20 years old - respect man.

[geriatrickid]

why vent and rant to Rixalex??

He' a "straight man with nothing against gays" But wait!! ask yourself why is he lurking about the gay forum on this occasion and several others?To reinforce his homophobia "nothing against gays"Or a closet case heavily into denial to reenforce his denial. I'm not gay, I'm not gay and uses the monogomy issue as proof to himselfwonder when he will be coming out of the closet?

Tad defensive there aren't you? Some people are just curious. I bet you probably think I hang around here just waiting to tie a toe tag onto someone, eh? Well I got something against plenty of falang gays. They can do a great job at breaking my friend's heart and hurting him. I get his displaced anger at times and it's not fun. Despite that, he's a great guy (and I know everyone will say that about a friend). I call him the princess, which he isn't since he is a generous wonderful guy, but he has such unrealistic fairy tale expectations at times. That's where I think the problem lies. Maybe if some of his b/fs were more upfront about the do's and don'ts it would work out. Falangs get a bum rap at times, but I think they can be overly sensitive about not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings or maybe they so fear they'll lose the guy that they never have an open discussion about not being able to live beyond one's means or wanting to be part of that big family.

Maybe I'm just anti social, but this whole meet and greet family thing, probably is a relationship killer. Alot of people, no matter their sexual orientation, just aren't too keen on the inlaws. But that's part of the relationship dynamic here. I detest it. It's bad enough having to fend off my friend's mom's calls to come visit, but on the two occassions I fell into the trap, I got stuck being introduced to someone's shriveled prune of a dowager aunt and fugly sister. I'm sure it must be worse for the b/f that gets put under the microscope by the family, poked and prodded like a piece of meat in Carrefour. Thing is if you don't tell the b/f that you don't want to do it, he can get insulted and if you don't do it a few times, you're a pariah. I don't know how people do it, especially when you have to visit the family house. I always get stuck sharing the floor mat with my friend, dying of the heat and being chewed on by savage mosquitos and not being able to sleep because he snores (but of course counters with hey, you snore worse than me). And then when you can't take it anymore, when you get up to go take a pee, you stumble around trying to not make noise seeking that hole that's supposed to be a toilet, but succeed in waking up everyone when you trip over the dog. I got alot more in this rant, but I reckon, you already think I have more than 1 screw loose, so I'll leave it at that.

Edited January 10, 2008 by geriatrickid

[cm-happy]

why vent and rant to Rixalex??

He' a "straight man with nothing against gays" But wait!! ask yourself why is he lurking about the gay forum on this occasion and several others?To reinforce his homophobia "nothing against gays"Or a closet case heavily into denial to reenforce his denial. I'm not gay, I'm not gay and uses the monogomy issue as proof to himselfwonder when he will be coming out of the closet?

Tad defensive there aren't you? Some people are just curious. I bet you probably think I hang around here just waiting to tie a toe tag onto someone, eh? Well I got something against plenty of falang gays. They can do a great job at breaking my friend's heart and hurting him. I get his displaced anger at times and it's not fun. Despite that, he's a great guy (and I know everyone will say that about a friend). I call him the princess, which he isn't since he is a generous wonderful guy, but he has such unrealistic fairy tale expectations at times. That's where I think the problem lies. Maybe if some of his b/fs were more upfront about the do's and don'ts it would work out. Falangs get a bum rap at times, but I think they can be overly sensitive about not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings or maybe they so fear they'll lose the guy that they never have an open discussion about not being able to live beyond one's means or wanting to be part of that big family.

Maybe I'm just anti social, but this whole meet and greet family thing, probably is a relationship killer. Alot of people, no matter their sexual orientation, just aren't too keen on the inlaws. But that's part of the relationship dynamic here. I detest it. It's bad enough having to fend off my friend's mom's calls to come visit, but on the two occassions I fell into the trap, I got stuck being introduced to someone's shriveled prune of a dowager aunt and fugly sister. I'm sure it must be worse for the b/f that gets put under the microscope by the family, poked and prodded like a piece of meat in Carrefour. Thing is if you don't tell the b/f that you don't want to do it, he can get insulted and if you don't do it a few times, you're a pariah. I don't know how people do it, especially when you have to visit the family house. I always get stuck sharing the floor mat with my friend, dying of the heat and being chewed on by savage mosquitos and not being able to sleep because he snores (but of course counters with hey, you snore worse than me). And then when you can't take it anymore, when you get up to go take a pee, you stumble around trying to not make noise seeking that hole that's supposed to be a toilet, but succeed in waking up everyone when you trip over the dog. I got alot more in this rant, but I reckon, you already think I have more than 1 screw loose, so I'll leave it at that.

No I don't think you have a screw lose! You're just getting something off your chest thats been bothering you for a long time.

A few questions if I may?

are you gay?

is your friend your b/f? if yes, then your certainly entitled to empathize with him.

not to appear callous but about your friends sensativity and goodness

fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

[popshirt]

Maybe I'm just anti social, but this whole meet and greet family thing, probably is a relationship killer. Alot of people, no matter their sexual orientation, just aren't too keen on the inlaws. But that's part of the relationship dynamic here. I detest it. It's bad enough having to fend off my friend's mom's calls to come visit, but on the two occassions I fell into the trap, I got stuck being introduced to someone's shriveled prune of a dowager aunt and fugly sister. I'm sure it must be worse for the b/f that gets put under the microscope by the family, poked and prodded like a piece of meat in Carrefour. Thing is if you don't tell the b/f that you don't want to do it, he can get insulted and if you don't do it a few times, you're a pariah. I don't know how people do it, especially when you have to visit the family house. I always get stuck sharing the floor mat with my friend, dying of the heat and being chewed on by savage mosquitos and not being able to sleep because he snores (but of course counters with hey, you snore worse than me). And then when you can't take it anymore, when you get up to go take a pee, you stumble around trying to not make noise seeking that hole that's supposed to be a toilet, but succeed in waking up everyone when you trip over the dog. I got alot more in this rant, but I reckon, you already think I have more than 1 screw loose, so I'll leave it at that.

Thanks for a good chuckle GK. I've been there, done that, and still do it! But the family gives us mom 'n dad's bed in a separate room, puts up mosquito netting, and has installed a western toilet. I'm fortunate that it's not a large family, only one sister and I like her, mom 'n dad are cool also, in fact dad is a hottie! LOL. But I knew I must draw the line somewhere; it is very important to be clear about things. When approached about a key card and key to our Bkk condo "for dad 'n mom" I said NO. The issue never came up again and there seems to be no residual disappointment or resentment.

It helps to have a screw or two loose to maintain a long term relationship with a Thai man and his family as no rules we were taught apply. Because I love my bf so much I did not want to go the paraiah route (as I realize you don't either) so I've eased into it and found I can cope and there are certainly rewards. Maybe it is easier because the family is middle class, have a place in Bkk as well as the farm, the farm is kind of a hobby for mom and a place for eventual retirement. But there is no question that family is number one and I come second. That helps me to remember that I must take care of myself as number one!

[leanester]

Yes I have...I've met him through internet, we've been in a chat only relationships for 10 months (I used to live in a far far away country, in the other side of the world...) but our love could do more than that and I traveled to him. I've been here almost a year already, we live together, his closest relatives know about us (so it's all in family) and some others too. We have gay friends in common here, we go out together always (we really dont like that bullshit of the modern couples like ''i need some time alone'' or ''I need my own space'') of course when we are at home we are not talking / kissing or whatever all the time, but we like to spend time together...he is sweet (in his own way), completely honest, he have told me everything he did and everything he thinks, we have no secrets, he'd been cheated before and he knows how it feels to be cheated, so none of us would ever cheat on the other. We have many plans for the future (traveling, making some bussiness together, etc) we get along very well, we have similar tastes for some things and completely different tastes for other things (so we are a balanced couple). We can comunnicate perfectly, if we have a silly discussion or little fight, it never lasts more than 15 minutes because we cant be upset with each other for too long. So, we just care for each other and want to make the other one happy. We dont think that having sex partners or that kind of stuff is good for a couple, but we respect if somebody does it. We give all to each other completely. Well, that's all, I can consider myself happy and I couldnt ask for nothing more than him. He is my everything. Thanks for reading...

Adrian

[leanester]

''For me, I love my boyfriend so I could not hurt him and perform sexual acts with other individuals. Is it the same for other individuals, straight, gay or bi?''

I completely agree with Onnutr, you couldnt be more right...Having a BF is giving urself completely to that person...because if u dont, why do u call him BF? It's hard to find a honest gay BF in this world, and I know because many of my gay thai friends have been through that already, and they suffered a lot, so now they just do the same thing because they dont believe in anybody anymore...and i think thats so sad. Because if you dont believe in love and u cant trust a partner...whats can u expect for ur future? Just to be alone, and thats all...

[PeaceBlondie]

I guess I missed all this discussion recently. I once found Miss Right, and twenty years later decided we were both wrong. I believe that generally, monogamy is part of a legal, social and romantic ideal that's great if you do it. However, monogamy is only necessary if you think it is. It can be great without monogamy, too.

Maybe Mr. Right will come along when I'm 69 or 79....still looking....

Moderate reminder: no personal insults. Disagree civilly.

[Scott]

I found Mr. Right and we've been together 20 years or so. I know he's right because he actually tolerates me--something, I can't even do sometimes. I am just a little too old to change, or at least that's my excuse, and I've never been able to be monogomous--the word even sounds a lot like monotony!

I knew it was love when I discovered that when he hurts, I hurt. When things go well for him, everything is great for me. And, when he was sick and very close to dying, I actually prayed to God (and I am not even a believer) that he take me first. The idea of not having him there was absolutely unbearable.

I would have to say that about 80% of the time we don't agree on anything--from where to eat to what movie to go to....and don't even get me started on the television. But we both know who has to give because it really does matter to the other.

We've both learned that being gay isn't always easy, so take advantage of the things that we can do. I, for one, don't strive to be like straight people. I can't be and I am OK with that.

[popshirt]

Scott and Peace Blondie, couldn't agree with you more. All this angst about genitalia and who puts what where and with whom seems petty to me when it comes to matters of the heart. I don't argue with those who practise genital monogamy but I do wish they would not take a superior and condescending position about it. We don't need more evangelists around!

[Ijustwannateach]

^Indeed!