Cheating Women!

[thaihedgehog]

If you knew that two of your friends (but not really friends) wifes were doing the dirty behind their backs would you tell them??

I am now faced with this problem and don't know what to do!! On the one side it's nothing to do with me so don't get involued BUT on the other side their wives are complete sluts!!

Please give me some help here

If it's true, I'd certainly tell them but you would have to be 101% in your allegations. Do you have any kind of proof?

I'd certainly want to be told if my wife was doing the dirty, what if it was yours? Would you want to be told?

I agree 100% with you VTR1000 that i won't want to know if my wife was doing the dirty on me!! but how would you even start to break that sort of news?? Any idea's??

[mikethevigoman]

It's my observation that a very large percentage of foreign men married to Thai women and living in Thailand are cheating on their wives - I'd like to be able to stay present company excepted, but I doubt that to be true.

Men and women cheat - Would you blag a friend to his wife if you knew he was playing away from home (with all the risk of aids, unwanted pregnancy etc etc that is being laid at the feet of women)?

I know of cases of Thai women cheating on their husbands, both in Thailand and outside of Thailand - But I know of a LOT MORE foreign men cheating on their Thai wives.

Spot on, there is usually a reason this is going on, these woman are a lot smarter that they ( the husbands ) think,.i have an aquantance ( i cant call him a friend ) that plays the field regular, hes paranoid his girlfriend is messing about ,total hypocrit and most deserve what ever they get,.

[kiakaha]

Seen alot of it outside Thailand, where Thai women of a certain "type" hook up with male "partners" who are totally naive to the hidden agendas of these women.Sometimes I think that these types of thai women are far more dangerous outside thailand.

I've even heard thai women talking about their infidelity(in thai) right in front of the guys face(who obviously knows zero thai), and I didn't let on about my thai speaking/reading ability.

Not my place to intervene though, to be honest, I couldn't give a rats, its their life.

[VTR1000]

I think i should take the back seat with this one and keep my mouth shut!! I also know that some of their better mates also know and won't say anything to them.

I'll use the ostrich style of dealing with problems and just stick my head in the sand

Maybe, just maybe he knows and is, erm, 'ok' with the situation.

[Daylene]

If you knew that two of your friends (but not really friends) wifes were doing the dirty behind their backs would you tell them??

I am now faced with this problem and don't know what to do!! On the one side it's nothing to do with me so don't get involued BUT on the other side their wives are complete sluts!!

Please give me some help here

I know for a fact that if that happened to me, I would rather really know the horrible truth than to wait for the time when everybody in town knows BUT me. Even if he is not a very close friend, as a male acquaintance/ friend, i guess the right thing for you to do is ask him if he knows about it.

[Chris78]

Maybe it's better that you're not that close with the husband. That way, you have less to lose than someone who has a closer friendship with the guy. Although, that's a difficult thing to tell anybody regardless of what kind of friend/acquaintance he is. Even if the guy is already aware of his wife's extra-marital activities, he still wouldn't want to be reminded of it by anyone.

[DamianMavis]

I dont understand, why would there be any doubt... of course you tell them.

Damian

[markwhite]

If you knew that two of your friends (but not really friends) wifes were doing the dirty behind their backs would you tell them??

How about asking them for their advice?

If you tell them you know someone whose wife is cheating on them but don't know whether to tell them or not, they will tell you exactly what you need to hear. If they say they'd keep schtum, so be it. If they say they'd tell, then tell.

Unless of course that's exactly what you're doing by asking in here...

[TheDon]

People are going WAY OFF TOPIC.

The bloke just wants to know if he should tell the guy, not if there is aids involved or what you know other Thai guys or farang guys cheat etc etc.

There is only 1 option in this matter

If he is not a good friend then its none of your business but if he is a good friend you tell him.

[wilko]

If you knew that two of your friends (but not really friends) wifes were doing the dirty behind their backs would you tell them??

I am now faced with this problem and don't know what to do!! On the one side it's nothing to do with me so don't get involued BUT on the other side their wives are complete sluts!!

Please give me some help here

i certainly wouldn't....especially if they were cheating with me!

[thaihigh]

just make sure to tell the women that your ugly friends are also butterflying around with every bargirl and massage girl out there.

[amal2029]

I guess this is happening in Thailand. First of all, there is no such thing call "cheating wife" in Thailand . Ask any Thai lady, she will back me up. In thailand only men cheat. women r perfect.

[Mobi]

People are going WAY OFF TOPIC.

The bloke just wants to know if he should tell the guy, not if there is aids involved or what you know other Thai guys or farang guys cheat etc etc.

There is only 1 option in this matter

If he is not a good friend then its none of your business but if he is a good friend you tell him.

You are 100% right.

[Lilawadee]

It's my observation that a very large percentage of foreign men married to Thai women and living in Thailand are cheating on their wives - I'd like to be able to stay present company excepted, but I doubt that to be true.

So your advice to the OP is guided by a statistic that is 'large', and not based on the individual involved?

Personally:

1. if it was a good friend: Absolutely would I make sure he found out.

2. if it was just a guy I chat with in the pub occasionally, then most likely I would not interfere.

Same applies when it's the other way around: If I know a man is cheating on a woman who I consider a friend then I would tell. If it's just a normal acquaintance then I would not interfere.

[Mighty Mouse]

You should tell him...but indirectly.

Over a few beers, discuss how many wives that you know of cheat behind their husbands' back. Inform him of the tell tale signs that present themselves around the house when a wife cheats.

Jokingly suggest to him that men need to exhaust their wives sexually in the bedroom so that there is no need for them to cheat, and to occasionally set traps to catch them out should they suspect unfaithfulness.

After a few beers he might begin to tell you things about his marriage that may explain why his wife cheats.

[ade100]

Source please.

There is a thread running about an HIV man working in the food industry, I suggest you read it and gather some facts before coming here and slagging me.

Maybe if you don't make stupid comments you won't get stupid replies. QED

1. I didn't "slag" you so stop over reacting.

2. There is nothing stupid in my post, however the same is not true of yours.

3. There is a wealth of factual information at www.unaids.org - enjoy!

4. I won't read the other thread as I know well that HIV isn't transmitted via the food chain. In fact, why did you even bring up that point?

5. To reiterate, maybe you should only reply to OP's from now on.

6. As you live in Pattaya, it may be in your best interests to educate yourself about HIV.

7. You are the one trying to make an issue here. Continue if you wish and I will happily add you to my ignore list.

I thought you were on mine, I will have to try again.

I brought up the other thread as there was alot of factual info, off topic, that would probably be quite enlightening for you.

BTW not all of us who live here are whoremongerers, I used to have more casual sex in a weekend in England than I have here in 2 years. Maybe we should be educating the English? Oh no you did that with your silly scare tactics in the 80's

Seems to me that Etrigan is making a perfectly valid and well informed point. Its not clear why sweetchariot is becoming vulgar and abusive. HIV is a concern for any sexually active person in any country.

As to the OP’s point I am sure it is possible to make a few subtle hints without telling them directly. They might figure it out for themselves if given a few clues.

[Mobi]

As to the OP's point I am sure it is possible to make a few subtle hints without telling them directly. They might figure it out for themselves if given a few clues.

Yes, except for one thing....

Most cuckolds have already seen enough circumstantial evidence to know that something is going on, but they tend to turn a blind eye, as no none wants to accept that it is really happening to them.

Subtle hints may work - but direct evidence is much more likely to be believed.

[meemiathai]

I think a major factor in the whole thing is the 'loss of face' aspect, which can also be important for westerners.

Receiving the news from a friend might make him feel like he has become a 'laughing stock' and that everyone knows.

But as already mentioned, he might hate you for knowing and not telling him.

Many partners cheat, it is unfortunate fact of life around the world, but it only really comes a problem if they're caught.

Is your friend's wife likely to get caught?

Maybe she will change her cheating ways eventually.

Are they otherwise happy?

If you are convinced that this is not the case then you have a tough decision to make.

The idea of an anonymous tip-off might be a good.

I would think very carefully before doing anything.

A potentially dangerous move would be to confront the wife.

The effectiveness of this move would depend on your situation and where you live.

A local who hates you can make life difficult in Thailand.

[moldy]

In an age of rampant HIV transmission, with the probability of husband to wife unprotected sex, wouldn't it be a case of saving your friend's life?

Sorry, did you used to work for the UK government's health department in the 80's.

Grow up man, off topic and irrelevant.

Off topic and irrelevant?? Is that so? I guess you most know HIV transmission is no longer a problem.

It's not so much as irrelevant, just probably wrong - grossly exagerrated where HIV is concerned, bur there are plenty of other nasties, eg, herpes, hep b, and the list goes on.

My advice, leave well alone though. It's a hard learning curve for your friend but one that many of us go through.

[meemiathai]

Would people here ask for advice if they know a farang friend cheating on his wife? Will they tell the woman?

Is it just sexually cheating others that is important enough to make people think if they should tell?

What about other daily matters in life? Do people judge others' daily activities and when seeing something they not agree with, they go and tell their partners?

How many farang men on the other hand you people know cheat on their wives and you stay quiet? Oh but farang men are always the good guys, right? The women are always the bad ones.

For me, most likely I wouldn't. It does depend on the situation though. And if I was the person in question, I don't need anyone to tell me. I can handle all of it by myself.

[meemiathai]

In an age of rampant HIV transmission, with the probability of husband to wife unprotected sex, wouldn't it be a case of saving your friend's life?

Sorry, did you used to work for the UK government's health department in the 80's.

Grow up man, off topic and irrelevant.

Off topic and irrelevant?? Is that so? I guess you most know HIV transmission is no longer a problem.

It's not so much as irrelevant, just probably wrong - grossly exagerrated where HIV is concerned, bur there are plenty of other nasties, eg, herpes, hep b, and the list goes on.

My advice, leave well alone though. It's a hard learning curve for your friend but one that many of us go through.

Does the friend smoke, drink or walk in the streets of Bangkok? Save his life and warn him!!!

[sonnyJ]

Sorry, did you used to work for the UK government's health department in the 80's.

Grow up man, off topic and irrelevant.

Maybe I did!

UNAIDS report identified Thailand's highest risk group: housewives.

So Mr Sweet "grown up, on-topic and relevant" Chariot, how did they contract it?

Maybe you should only reply to OP's from now on.

Maybe if you don't make stupid comments you won't get stupid replies. QED

SC you must be joking, on a deadly topic...

If these housewives reach the 15% of population as estimated on the other thread. It's not a matter of laughter.

[huggybear]

People are going WAY OFF TOPIC.

The bloke just wants to know if he should tell the guy, not if there is aids involved or what you know other Thai guys or farang guys cheat etc etc.

There is only 1 option in this matter

If he is not a good friend then its none of your business but if he is a good friend you tell him.

Absolutely on the mark.

You have friends, that would help you and you help them in bad times, and you have acquaintances who are just people you know.

Friend-you pull him aside, and maybe over a cold beer or two and say " you know, I saw something a little disturbing the other day......"

Aquaintance- not your matter.

Does the term "gik" fit in here? Anyone?

[traveller5000]

If you knew that two of your friends (but not really friends) wifes were doing the dirty behind their backs would you tell them??

Some people are not ready for such confronting news and it could backfire on everyone, on the other hand if the timing and message was right, it may be what he needs to wake up. If you don't think you can deliver the message properly, don't do it as it might make the lesson more difficult than what it needs to be.

I've no doubt he has contributed to the situation in some way - in his role as a husband, and sooner or later he needs to address this even if he does decide to leave her.

[ozzydom]

Your on a hiding to nothing whichever way you go ,I would not want to be the recipient of the wifes revenge if she learns it was you who shopped her.

Might I suggest that if you are hel_l-bent on bringing her dalliances out into the open, that you ,yourself hire a PI to put together the evidence and have it delivered to your friend anonymously.

[mrbojangles]

I had to once tell a good friend about his Mrs cheating on him. Hardest decision i ever had to make. Toiled with it for weeks, until finally i thought it was the right thing to do.

It turned out well in the end, he dumped his mrs instantly (on confirming the facts). In fact i think it was the excuse he needed to get out of the relationship anyway. He is now extremely happy and married to someone else.

Not all instances will go this way though but i would tell again if it was a good friend. I'd like to know if it was happening to me behind my back.

[DP25]

You should tell him. What he does once he knows is up to him, but I see it as your duty to at least him know what's going on. How would you feel if your wife was letting strange men get inside of her and no one told you about it?

I was in a similar situation a few months ago. A friend had gone back to Europe, and while he was away his girlfriend took it upon herself to screw as many dudes as she could. I told him I'd seen her get in a taxi at 2am with half a dozen different guys....and he did nothing. He's still with her, and next time he goes back to Europe, she gonna be screwing non stop yet again. I find it so disgusting I'm no longer able to tolerate the presence of either of them.

[ttthailand]

"Do on to others as you would want them to do on to you " I think a wise man once said this... If you would want your friend to tell you then it is your duty no matter what the out come to tell your friend. Just give him the facts and let him draw his own conclusions. Depending on the kind of man he is he may include you in his final story to his wife so be ready. So and so told me .....

[burman]

If you knew that two of your friends (but not really friends) wifes were doing the dirty behind their backs would you tell them??

I am now faced with this problem and don't know what to do!! On the one side it's nothing to do with me so don't get involued BUT on the other side their wives are complete sluts!!

Please give me some help here

Well not your friends so I would say leave it well alone, coz you really have no idea of the situation now, and how it might turn out for you should the shit hit the fan.

Secondly, it seems you want the husbands to know not out of concern of their own welfare, but because you want the wives punished for being 'complete sluts'. Again, I'd leave it well alone.

[meemiathai]

You should tell him. What he does once he knows is up to him, but I see it as your duty to at least him know what's going on. How would you feel if your wife was letting strange men get inside of her and no one told you about it?

I was in a similar situation a few months ago. A friend had gone back to Europe, and while he was away his girlfriend took it upon herself to screw as many dudes as she could. I told him I'd seen her get in a taxi at 2am with half a dozen different guys....and he did nothing. He's still with her, and next time he goes back to Europe, she gonna be screwing non stop yet again. I find it so disgusting I'm no longer able to tolerate the presence of either of them.

I am just curious. How do people tell that people have had sex? Is there something that shows on the face that they are going to have sex or they have had sex? Can someone tell me?

Can people tell me if Hilary had been having sex with Bill Clinton recently?

Edited January 21, 2008 by meemiathai