Sin Sod Part Deuce :-)

[skippybangkok]

2 satangs worth.......

Since its a multi cultural relationship, then maybe it might be good to have a balanced marriage .

In most decent families, Sinsod might be acted out ( all the pomp and ceremony ), but typically if comes back through the back door.

[torrenova]

I was asked for 1 million Baht originally, by her father. But was tipped off by my fiance, to "negotiate with him". As it is a way to prove myself worthy, as a man, and not a push over. We negotiated and agreed to 400,000 baht. Then the wedding plans began. A wedding account was opened and my fiance was given her own ATM card. She made all the plans for a Thai traditional wedding ceremony starting at 7am, ending with a wedding party in the late evening hours. Lots of "gold", envelopes filled with cash to give as gifts, lots and lots of flowers, Band flown in from I don't know where? Photographer flown from Bangkok with accomadations. along with all her school friends and fellow workers! Plus rooms for them and family in hotels on the beach in Ao Nang. where we had the party. The Nakamanda Hotel. Great place for a wedding party!

To my surprise, all the sin sod was returned to us after the party! I didn't want it, but My wife said, "it was her fathers wish, and to respect him". So, we did.

I have to say, It was ALL WORTH IT! I have the most honest, smart, and beautiful wife I could possibly dream of! Now the best mother also, to our new born daughter

Oh, as part of me being "proved" to be worthy, I stayed and lived under their roof for almost a month, at the mothers request, just so they could see my love for their daughter. Only then, did they agree to sit down a talk about the sin sod.

We will continue this tradition with our daughter! She will never marry a man who refuses our tradition and values.

Seems like your sin sot negotiations stalled before you found out that you would be getting it back. I think some guys whould be happy enough to show some money but would rather not lose any of it.

As for forcing this outdated and stupid idea on your daughter then I hope she has enough balls to tell you where to shove it. Who she marries is not down to you so cut her some slack and drop the "she will never ......" bulllshit.

[dominator]

Reading about this sin sod thing has given me a great idea. On Monday I will be going to an orphanage, adopt 10 girls aged 15. Next year I can sell them (Thai sin sod style) to farangs at a mill a piece.....wow 10 cool ones in a year, not bad eh!! Who said farangs cannot make money in Thailand?

Edited March 1, 2008 by dominator

[Smithson]

I am doing my best to learn all I can about their traditions that have been passed down from generation to generation. We will pass them to our children. Our hope is for our children to keep them, out of respect for us. As we respect our parents.

Will you be teaching them that ghost are waiting to torture them in the dark and eat their liver if they lie to the parents?

[mistresserika]

I love the "cultural" differences, and have accepted theirs as my own. I especially love all the superstitions. I am doing my best to learn all I can about their traditions that have been passed down from generation to generation. We will pass them to our children. Our hope is for our children to keep them, out of respect for us. As we respect our parents.

Some things change. The cold showers from a tub of water has been changed to a large garden hose on the roof. I like hot showers.

You've got to be from another planet.

[grapetable]

There is an old parable............"if it flies, floats or <deleted>*ks, rent it"

[Eric1949]

Reading about this sin sod thing has given me a great idea. On Monday I will be going to an orphanage, adopt 10 girls aged 15. Next year I can sell them (Thai sin sod style) to farangs at a mill a piece.....wow 10 cool ones in a year, not bad eh!! Who said farangs cannot make money in Thailand?

Hum, great idea dominator.......................

[KireB]

Reading about this sin sod thing has given me a great idea. On Monday I will be going to an orphanage, adopt 10 girls aged 15. Next year I can sell them (Thai sin sod style) to farangs at a mill a piece.....wow 10 cool ones in a year, not bad eh!! Who said farangs cannot make money in Thailand?

To get a daughter in this country is future revenue; to get a son is hoping he turns gay!

[distortedlink]

To the OP.

There are many Thais that have made swindling a Farang out of his assets almost into an industry.

You may have fallen in love with the girl, but in the back of your mind, you probably know you`re being suckered in.

Read carefully below what happened to my best friend and think again before parting with your dosh:

Back in 1999, my best friend, Michael, of over 20 years was introduced to a Thai lady at an engagement party in Norwich England. He was 51 she was 28. He fell in love with her immediately and over a 2 year period, the girl and her family in Keonkaen extorted over £80000 from my friend. After that the girl told him that she had a terminal disease and could not marry him, but offered her sister instead. Michael married the sister in 2001. It later transpired that the Thai girl he met in England already had an English husband in Norwich and is alive and well today.

In 2006 my friend caught his wife having an affair in Norwich. The shock was too much for him; he began walking back to his car and dropped dead in the rain into a gutter from a heart attack. He was 58. And yes I am very emotional about this.

In the end, that Thai family got £80000 of my friend's savings, his property in Buckinghamshire worth £400000 and finally even his soul. Our mutual friends and I warned Michael about this Thai group. Michael said, that if he cant find a wife, he'll buy one if necessary, but of course no one can buy true caring love. He was blind to the reality that they only wanted his money and targeted Michael because he was so desperate to get himself a wife and told them he had money and property. We fell out over this issue because Michael wouldn't listen to reason and I lost my closest friend, a soul mate of over 20 years.

Was my friend stupid, yes many will say so, but my hate for that Thai family is intense and I curse those people and the day that I took my friend to that engagement party in Norwich, England in which was the beginning of his downfall.

I am married to a Thai lady over 20 years; we met in England, with no problems, I did choose carefully before I committed myself.

The warning here is, beware that there are some Thai families who have made it almost into an industry to separate the so called rich Farang from his/her assets. Think twice before committing to a relationship who may be believed is a dream partner.

[Eric1949]

To the OP.

There are many Thais that have made swindling a Farang out of his assets almost into an industry.

You may have fallen in love with the girl, but in the back of your mind, you probably know you`re being suckered in.

Read carefully below what happened to my best friend and think again before parting with your dosh:

Back in 1999, my best friend, Michael, of over 20 years was introduced to a Thai lady at an engagement party in Norwich England. He was 51 she was 28. He fell in love with her immediately and over a 2 year period, the girl and her family in Keonkaen extorted over £80000 from my friend. After that the girl told him that she had a terminal disease and could not marry him, but offered her sister instead. Michael married the sister in 2001. It later transpired that the Thai girl he met in England already had an English husband in Norwich and is alive and well today.

In 2006 my friend caught his wife having an affair in Norwich. The shock was too much for him; he began walking back to his car and dropped dead in the rain into a gutter from a heart attack. He was 58. And yes I am very emotional about this.

In the end, that Thai family got £80000 of my friend's savings, his property in Buckinghamshire worth £400000 and finally even his soul. Our mutual friends and I warned Michael about this Thai group. Michael said, that if he cant find a wife, he'll buy one if necessary, but of course no one can buy true caring love. He was blind to the reality that they only wanted his money and targeted Michael because he was so desperate to get himself a wife and told them he had money and property. We fell out over this issue because Michael wouldn't listen to reason and I lost my closest friend, a soul mate of over 20 years.

Was my friend stupid, yes many will say so, but my hate for that Thai family is intense and I curse those people and the day that I took my friend to that engagement party in Norwich, England in which was the beginning of his downfall.

I am married to a Thai lady over 20 years; we met in England, with no problems, I did choose carefully before I committed myself.

The warning here is, beware that there are some Thai families who have made it almost into an industry to separate the so called rich Farang from his/her assets. Think twice before committing to a relationship who may be believed is a dream partner.

Being on the receiving end of this Thai 'cottage industry' I fully sympathize with you 'distortedlink'.

[johnh101]

When we discussed marraige with my wife's parents, Sin Sot was never mentioned until one of her Aunts got involved. "How much is he paying" a lot of arguements ensued which at the time I didn't really understand. Then my wife asked me the question, would I be willing to pay a dowry. I said no way. I was marrying her and by doing so was commiting myself to take care of her. Her parents immediately accepted my statement, aunt was miffed and skulked off.

When it came to the wedding we sent money to pay for everything. That night after everyone has rolled out the door legless M & D took me and my wife up to their room where mother proceeded to show me the full accounts of the wedding, including every receipt and then gave me back my change ! Which was almost HALF what I had sent !

Maybe I was lucky (time will tell) but we were together for almost 4 years before we got married, we have been married now for 4 years and yes she is taken care off. She now has a retirement (/holiday) home up country with a nice bit of land, and I have a great wife.

Edited March 5, 2008 by johnh101

[Heemak]

To the OP.

There are many Thais that have made swindling a Farang out of his assets almost into an industry.

You may have fallen in love with the girl, but in the back of your mind, you probably know you`re being suckered in.

Read carefully below what happened to my best friend and think again before parting with your dosh:

Back in 1999, my best friend, Michael, of over 20 years was introduced to a Thai lady at an engagement party in Norwich England. He was 51 she was 28. He fell in love with her immediately and over a 2 year period, the girl and her family in Keonkaen extorted over £80000 from my friend. After that the girl told him that she had a terminal disease and could not marry him, but offered her sister instead. Michael married the sister in 2001. It later transpired that the Thai girl he met in England already had an English husband in Norwich and is alive and well today.

In 2006 my friend caught his wife having an affair in Norwich. The shock was too much for him; he began walking back to his car and dropped dead in the rain into a gutter from a heart attack. He was 58. And yes I am very emotional about this.

In the end, that Thai family got £80000 of my friend's savings, his property in Buckinghamshire worth £400000 and finally even his soul. Our mutual friends and I warned Michael about this Thai group. Michael said, that if he cant find a wife, he'll buy one if necessary, but of course no one can buy true caring love. He was blind to the reality that they only wanted his money and targeted Michael because he was so desperate to get himself a wife and told them he had money and property. We fell out over this issue because Michael wouldn't listen to reason and I lost my closest friend, a soul mate of over 20 years.

Was my friend stupid, yes many will say so, but my hate for that Thai family is intense and I curse those people and the day that I took my friend to that engagement party in Norwich, England in which was the beginning of his downfall.

I am married to a Thai lady over 20 years; we met in England, with no problems, I did choose carefully before I committed myself.

The warning here is, beware that there are some Thai families who have made it almost into an industry to separate the so called rich Farang from his/her assets. Think twice before committing to a relationship who may be believed is a dream partner.

Having a stupid friend doesn't help either...

[enyaw]

I was asked for 1 million Baht originally, by her father. But was tipped off by my fiance, to "negotiate with him". As it is a way to prove myself worthy, as a man, and not a push over. We negotiated and agreed to 400,000 baht. Then the wedding plans began. A wedding account was opened and my fiance was given her own ATM card. She made all the plans for a Thai traditional wedding ceremony starting at 7am, ending with a wedding party in the late evening hours. Lots of "gold", envelopes filled with cash to give as gifts, lots and lots of flowers, Band flown in from I don't know where? Photographer flown from Bangkok with accomadations. along with all her school friends and fellow workers! Plus rooms for them and family in hotels on the beach in Ao Nang. where we had the party. The Nakamanda Hotel. Great place for a wedding party!

To my surprise, all the sin sod was returned to us after the party! I didn't want it, but My wife said, "it was her fathers wish, and to respect him". So, we did.

I have to say, It was ALL WORTH IT! I have the most honest, smart, and beautiful wife I could possibly dream of! Now the best mother also, to our new born daughter

Oh, as part of me being "proved" to be worthy, I stayed and lived under their roof for almost a month, at the mothers request, just so they could see my love for their daughter. Only then, did they agree to sit down a talk about the sin sod.

We will continue this tradition with our daughter! She will never marry a man who refuses our tradition and values.

Nice story, thanks for sharing it with us.

Best regards

Enyaw.

[jasreeve17]

Another example of what I've been talking about. This whole sin sod garbage is a cultural anachronism that should have died long ago. But it continues to be pepetuated, driven mostly by greed and the desire to "show-off" to other Thais.

Very good point. Her request for 1 million baht is a major red flag. That might work for a Thai movie star, but any normal Thai man would have paid 100k or less....especially a Pattaya girl.

My girlfriend of 2 yrs told her mom that we would marry, and she first wanted money. But when my girlfriend replied, "But that is not a part of his culture", then she agreed the sin sod was not necessary. Bless her heart. Sin sod is a dying tradition, even the Thais recognize it. It seems to be the Isaan poor trying to hold on to it the most...for obvious reasons.

actually, it is a wonderful tradition, and i totally agree with it.

One Thai family i know used it to discourage a groom from marrying too early; he had to work had and keep saving; in the end the money was returned to them but it was used as a fair way to make sure he was going to be responsible enough to act as a husband and a father.

The way it is used in Bangkok primarily is one of showing that the husband is man enough to look after a family, and that is what it should be for.

Upcountry, sometimes the parents need some of the money; however given the 'remove brain here' mentality so many farang have when they go to Isaan, is it small wonder that the parents send their kids to work in Patpong and reap the cash cow that is the Sin sot??!

Without it, how would a guy know that the woman he is marrying is a gold digger??!

He has got out of a tricky situation safely, thanks to the sin sot mechanic.

What weird opinions you have:-

1) I have money = I am MAN.

2) Send your daughters to work as whores, it's the stupid foreigners fault.

Sounds like a wonderful tradition...

[jstumbo]

We will continue this tradition with our daughter! She will never marry a man who refuses our tradition and values.

Good Luck finding someone in Florida willing to pay Sin Sod.

[lukey1979]

Another example of what I've been talking about. This whole sin sod garbage is a cultural anachronism that should have died long ago. But it continues to be pepetuated, driven mostly by greed and the desire to "show-off" to other Thais.

Very good point. Her request for 1 million baht is a major red flag. That might work for a Thai movie star, but any normal Thai man would have paid 100k or less....especially a Pattaya girl.

My girlfriend of 2 yrs told her mom that we would marry, and she first wanted money. But when my girlfriend replied, "But that is not a part of his culture", then she agreed the sin sod was not necessary. Bless her heart. Sin sod is a dying tradition, even the Thais recognize it. It seems to be the Isaan poor trying to hold on to it the most...for obvious reasons.

Both of you have'nt got a clue what your talking about.

[Eric1949]

I was asked for 1 million Baht originally, by her father. But was tipped off by my fiance, to "negotiate with him". As it is a way to prove myself worthy, as a man, and not a push over. We negotiated and agreed to 400,000 baht. Then the wedding plans began. A wedding account was opened and my fiance was given her own ATM card. She made all the plans for a Thai traditional wedding ceremony starting at 7am, ending with a wedding party in the late evening hours. Lots of "gold", envelopes filled with cash to give as gifts, lots and lots of flowers, Band flown in from I don't know where? Photographer flown from Bangkok with accomadations. along with all her school friends and fellow workers! Plus rooms for them and family in hotels on the beach in Ao Nang. where we had the party. The Nakamanda Hotel. Great place for a wedding party!

To my surprise, all the sin sod was returned to us after the party! I didn't want it, but My wife said, "it was her fathers wish, and to respect him". So, we did.

I have to say, It was ALL WORTH IT! I have the most honest, smart, and beautiful wife I could possibly dream of! Now the best mother also, to our new born daughter

Oh, as part of me being "proved" to be worthy, I stayed and lived under their roof for almost a month, at the mothers request, just so they could see my love for their daughter. Only then, did they agree to sit down a talk about the sin sod.

"We will continue this tradition with our daughter! She will never marry a man who refuses our tradition and values."

[lukey1979]

I know for alot of expats the thought and reasons for Sinsod are hard to fathom and rightfully so, Its not part of our own culture so for alot of the westerners in LOS It's understandable why they get pretty p1ssed about it. It is however an engraved part of Thai culture that has been going on for centuries and will probably go on for many years to come. It is not just adhered to or respected by the ''mere'' Issanites which is obviously what many people on this forum believe.

We are westerners yes but we are not superior to the average Thai regardless of what one might believe, Therefore If a girl you ''fancy'' has parents who are demanding 1 milion Baht upwards and you cannot afford it then you are clearly punching above your weight, or she does'nt care enough about you enough to beg her parents to get the price lowered. If you are hit with a price tag you cannot meet then walk away and start afresh. There are plenty of fish in the sea especially in the Gulf Of Thailand. It's HERE and It's not going away anytime soon so deal withh it chaps.

[Jingjok]

We will continue this tradition with our daughter! She will never marry a man who refuses our tradition and values.

Crikey.

Push a grown-up daughter with that attitude in, say, 2028, and you'll push her into a relationship with a guy of whom you REALLY disapprove.

[richard_smith237]

I was asked for 1 million Baht originally, by her father. But was tipped off by my fiance, to "negotiate with him". As it is a way to prove myself worthy, as a man, and not a push over. We negotiated and agreed to 400,000 baht. Then the wedding plans began. A wedding account was opened and my fiance was given her own ATM card. She made all the plans for a Thai traditional wedding ceremony starting at 7am, ending with a wedding party in the late evening hours. Lots of "gold", envelopes filled with cash to give as gifts, lots and lots of flowers, Band flown in from I don't know where? Photographer flown from Bangkok with accomadations. along with all her school friends and fellow workers! Plus rooms for them and family in hotels on the beach in Ao Nang. where we had the party. The Nakamanda Hotel. Great place for a wedding party!

To my surprise, all the sin sod was returned to us after the party! I didn't want it, but My wife said, "it was her fathers wish, and to respect him". So, we did.

I have to say, It was ALL WORTH IT! I have the most honest, smart, and beautiful wife I could possibly dream of! Now the best mother also, to our new born daughter

Oh, as part of me being "proved" to be worthy, I stayed and lived under their roof for almost a month, at the mothers request, just so they could see my love for their daughter. Only then, did they agree to sit down a talk about the sin sod.

"We will continue this tradition with our daughter! She will never marry a man who refuses our tradition and values."

Eric,

I have to respect and agree with everything you said in your post.

You have clearly welcomed the local customs with out ‘turning native’.

I also hazard a guess and make the assumption that you have a good job and your wife is within similar socio-economic boundaries.

I suspect that most of the questions raised against sin-sod are from relationships that are crossing these socio-economic boundaries or relationships that originated from financial beginnings / transactions….

R

[Naam]

Another example of what I've been talking about. This whole sin sod garbage is a cultural anachronism that should have died long ago. But it continues to be pepetuated, driven mostly by greed and the desire to "show-off" to other Thais.

Very good point. Her request for 1 million baht is a major red flag. That might work for a Thai movie star, but any normal Thai man would have paid 100k or less....especially a Pattaya girl.

My girlfriend of 2 yrs told her mom that we would marry, and she first wanted money. But when my girlfriend replied, "But that is not a part of his culture", then she agreed the sin sod was not necessary. Bless her heart. Sin sod is a dying tradition, even the Thais recognize it. It seems to be the Isaan poor trying to hold on to it the most...for obvious reasons.

Both of you have'nt got a clue what your talking about.

but you do?

[KireB]

We are westerners yes but we are not superior to the average Thai regardless of what one might believe, Therefore If a girl you ''fancy'' has parents who are demanding 1 milion Baht upwards and you cannot afford it then you are clearly punching above your weight, or she does'nt care enough about you enough to beg her parents to get the price lowered. If you are hit with a price tag you cannot meet then walk away and start afresh. There are plenty of fish in the sea especially in the Gulf Of Thailand. It's HERE and It's not going away anytime soon so deal withh it chaps.

Before dating better talk with the parents. See whether we punch our own weight.

[Heng]

Or even better, talk to the girl first (preferably NOT the week before you're going to meet the parents). IMO a lot of the guys with sinsod bitterness don't give it a thought until the last minute or delude themselves into thinking the girl is on their side and not on her family's side. Some communication a few months into a relationship that you think might get serious and you'll know all you need to know. We might even see fewer of these threads pop up as well.

[makavelithedon]

I know for alot of expats the thought and reasons for Sinsod are hard to fathom and rightfully so, Its not part of our own culture so for alot of the westerners in LOS It's understandable why they get pretty p1ssed about it. It is however an engraved part of Thai culture that has been going on for centuries and will probably go on for many years to come. It is not just adhered to or respected by the ''mere'' Issanites which is obviously what many people on this forum believe.

We are westerners yes but we are not superior to the average Thai regardless of what one might believe, Therefore If a girl you ''fancy'' has parents who are demanding 1 milion Baht upwards and you cannot afford it then you are clearly punching above your weight, or she does'nt care enough about you enough to beg her parents to get the price lowered. If you are hit with a price tag you cannot meet then walk away and start afresh. There are plenty of fish in the sea especially in the Gulf Of Thailand. It's HERE and It's not going away anytime soon so deal withh it chaps.

Your logic being whatever figure her parents pull out the local mango tree is a fair reflection of their little darlings status and worth? I'd hazard a guess in 90% of cases the Farang gets upset because he knows the same skit is being played out as your local market deal. Farang-billionaire-treble it?

Unless she's an astronaut or your quite happy paying anything, then 400,000 baht is about the sky from my experiences of living here long enough to know.

Unless your Tata Young of course -from the pictures I saw of her bash she looked liked she ended up owning the sky!

[Livinginexile]

Offer her 15 - 20k per month, no sin sod, no marraige, no kids and no 50% of your assets later. After a few years upgrade if all isn't going well. When I married I paid no sin sod, nor was it requested. It is a personal choice of course but above is another (cheaper) alternative.

Are you saying you pay pay a salary to your wife? You actually PAY for a woman to be your wife?

[SoCal]

I give my wife a set amount, fairly generous, every month. Not that it is a salary, more like a spending budget. The more I put in her hands, the more that she spends. We both conceide this. I take care of all set expenses, trips, savings, etc.

What is wrong with that?

[chicowoodduck]

We are westerners yes but we are not superior to the average Thai regardless of what one might believe, Therefore If a girl you ''fancy'' has parents who are demanding 1 milion Baht upwards and you cannot afford it then you are clearly punching above your weight, or she does'nt care enough about you enough to beg her parents to get the price lowered. If you are hit with a price tag you cannot meet then walk away and start afresh. There are plenty of fish in the sea especially in the Gulf Of Thailand. It's HERE and It's not going away anytime soon so deal withh it chaps.

Before dating better talk with the parents. See whether we punch our own weight.

Since my original posts, I've found that better than talking with the parents, take your time with the whole Sin Sod / marriage business. In the past year, I've gone from being asked for 2+ million THB, to "we'll get married with an amount you are comfortable with." Better to say you are broke and see what happens than show the bank book and get the "up sell" from the git go!

[Livinginexile]

I give my wife a set amount, fairly generous, every month. Not that it is a salary, more like a spending budget. The more I put in her hands, the more that she spends. We both conceide this. I take care of all set expenses, trips, savings, etc.

What is wrong with that?

It's your money dude, it's just that I am shocked that a woman would demand a monthly payment for marrage!!

And don't try and tell me it's a "Thai thing" cos' it's not.

Tell me...would would happen if you stoped paying her?

[Heng]

^ something similar to saying to your wife (in any country)... I'm going to stop making the house payments, car payments, and will no longer be contributing to the grocery/electric/water bills. But I still love you.

[mistresserika]

Let's face it, more than 90% of the Thai 'ladies' who marry farangs are 'b%r girls' and we all know their correct title. So all I can say is, that any man must be plum crazy to pay the family of a prost####e anything.