I'm Going To Be A Bar-girl!

[simon43]

OK, all these postings about BGs, and how they are so devious at extracting money out of dim-witted farang has convinced me to make a major change in my business plans.

I am going to become a Bar-Girl!!

Stop laughing, because I think this is really a sensible business idea, with the potential for me to earn a high (untaxed) income, for only a little effort.

I have run this idea past a BG friend, and she has agreed to help me.

I'm going to borrow her skin-tight spandex hot-pants. (Actually, the thought of squeezing into them gets me rather excited...)

Granted,there may be a few inappropriate bulges, and my bum will hang out of the bottom of them, but I think most drunken farang will be convinced!

(It was suggested that I tied my tackle up the back, but this sounded too painful...)

A tight t-shirt will show off my chest, which is probably about the same size as boobs on most Thai girls, so that should look fine.

OK, what about my go-go dancing skills? Second to none!! (Probably almost equal to none). Once I start rubbing my crotch up and down that pole, the guys will go wild

I'm pretty sure that my hairly legs will not be too much of a give-away. I can always wear some fishnet tights (I'm getting excited again...)

OK, how far will I go with a customer? I'm counting on the fact that my lucky customer will be too blind drunk to 'perform'. I will probably agree to sit on his lap, but only if this 'hansum man pay me bar-fine 1000 baht'

I won't go long-time with the guy, because he will probably start to sober up and then my life would be in dire peril.

Nope, short-time only, and then I'll claim it's the wrong time of the month. As for hand-jobs or a mouth-massage, I'll feign being sick all over his todger.

Stick to a body massage and tell him a sob-story or two. I'm sure he will soon agree to send me some money to help look after my very sickly buffalo....

Right, I'll start next Monday! See you all down Nana Plaza. I'm the sexy BG with the moustache.

Khun Dong

[Gazza]

OK, what about my go-go dancing skills? Second to none!! (Probably almost equal to none). Once I start rubbing my crotch up and down that pole, the guys will go wild

Don't forget the following dance moves when you're up on stage. It drives farangs crazy and has them going back for more.

Shuffle - Shuffle..... Pull knickers from bum crack.

Shuffle - Shuffle......Stifle a yawn.

Shuffle - Shuffle......Crouch down and utter something to a fellow BG.

Shuffle - Shuffle......Glance in mirror.

Shuffle - Shuffle - Jump ......Avoid cockroach scurrying across stage.

Shuffle - Shuffle......Pause to gain composure to get back into a rhythym.

Shuffle - Shuffle......Make comment of 'Dtok Jai'.

Shuffle - Shuffle......Check clock for time.

Shuffle - Shuffle - Run - Jump and Slide down pole making a squeaking sound with inner thighs. Land back on stage with a mighty loud stomping noise with your high heels.

Repeat from knicker pull manouver.

[simon43]

The squeaking sound with inner thighs sounds particularly appealing! Is this sound enhanced or by hairy legs? I could always just shave my inner thighs and tell my GF that I need to shave there because I'm suffering from heat rash

[DJ Pat]

I've often contemplated donning a wig and saying "Hello Welcome" to earn some extra cash....

Actually not a bad idea.....hmmm

[p_brownstone]

(It was suggested that I tied my tackle up the back, but this sounded too painful...)

Hmmm - slightly off topic and I know it dates me, but I always wondered how Danny LaRue did that!

[mbkudu]

You've all been reading too many of Harry's posts here. Get a grip mates, all is not lost.

[Narachon]

Right, I'll start next Monday!  See you all down Nana Plaza.  I'm the sexy BG with the moustache.

Khun Dong

But half of the Katoeys down at Nana have mustaches...

[simon43]

But half of the Katoeys down at Nana have mustaches... 

Hey!! I'm a BG, not a Katoey!! Just look for the ugliest BG in the place . . .

[stroll]

Is this idea something you dreamed up when thinking about additional services for the retirement home you are planning? You got to be careful or the place will get a reputation for pushy rip-off bgs of the worst kind.

[Totster]

Hey Simon.... got any tatoos...??

totster

[stroll]

The 16" dragon tatoo on his back will be hardly noticible in the dimly lit backrows.

Hey Simon, before you take the plunge, why not practise saying 'I love you to mut' with an Isan accent at the door of 7/11 on Sukhumvit 17?

Don't forget to wear your attire as well.

See you there sat. night!

[Jeff1]

OK, all these postings about BGs, and how they are so devious at extracting money out of dim-witted farang has convinced me to make a major change in my business plans.

I am going to become a Bar-Girl!!

Stop laughing, because I think this is really a sensible business idea, with the potential for me to earn a high (untaxed) income, for only a little effort.

I have run this idea past a BG friend, and she has agreed to help me.

I'm going to borrow her skin-tight spandex hot-pants. (Actually, the thought of squeezing into them gets me rather excited...)

Granted,there may be a few inappropriate bulges, and my bum will hang out of the bottom of them, but I think most drunken farang will be convinced!

(It was suggested that I tied my tackle up the back, but this sounded too painful...)

A tight t-shirt will show off my chest, which is probably about the same size as boobs on most Thai girls, so that should look fine.

OK, what about my go-go dancing skills? Second to none!! (Probably almost equal to none). Once I start rubbing my crotch up and down that pole, the guys will go wild

I'm pretty sure that my hairly legs will not be too much of a give-away. I can always wear some fishnet tights (I'm getting excited again...)

OK, how far will I go with a customer? I'm counting on the fact that my lucky customer will be too blind drunk to 'perform'. I will probably agree to sit on his lap, but only if this 'hansum man pay me bar-fine 1000 baht'

I won't go long-time with the guy, because he will probably start to sober up and then my life would be in dire peril.

Nope, short-time only, and then I'll claim it's the wrong time of the month. As for hand-jobs or a mouth-massage, I'll feign being sick all over his todger.

Stick to a body massage and tell him a sob-story or two. I'm sure he will soon agree to send me some money to help look after my very sickly buffalo....

Right, I'll start next Monday! See you all down Nana Plaza. I'm the sexy BG with the moustache.

Khun Dong

How much for short time sweetcheeks ?

[poolcleaner]

Shuffle - Shuffle - Run - Jump and Slide down pole making a squeaking sound with inner thighs. Land back on stage with a mighty loud stomping noise with your high heels.

Yeah. What is it with the bootslamming thing?

I went to a gogo bar in Ormoc in the Philippines recently and everything was as per Bangers but halfway through the tedious spectacle the girl would jump up and crack her high heels down as hard as she could!!

I can't imagine what it brings to the show. My guess it originated when one dancer tried to get a cockroach and woke up the other eight who then thought 'Oh am I supposed to be stomping?'

[NedKelly]

sheeeeeeshhhhhhh ..............and it's not even hot season yet !!

[simon43]

Why have so many of you guys PMed me clamouring for ST and LT?

[Gazza]

Yeah. What is it with the bootslamming thing?

My guess it originated when one dancer tried to get a cockroach and woke up the other eight who then thought 'Oh am I supposed to be stomping?'

You're almost right. It's to wake up the punters and to get the attention of the guys who are craning their necks around the naked dancers in front of them, seeing if there's anything interesting on the TV.

[Rinrada]

No...it started about 20 years ago when I was doing the usual tourist thingy and dancing with the ladies on top of the bar...think the song was "one night in som prat can"or other down in Pat-Pong when the scene was...... Hot-Hot-HOT...(might have been in the rififfi )

Anyway I was jigging about the way one does (big audience-of course) that i must have dropped the 50 satang coin through a hole in my pocket that I was keeping for the final bar tip and one of the lassies up the pole saw it....and... as they say... the rest is history.

[Gazza]

Anyway I was jigging about the way one does (big audience-of course) that i must have dropped the 50 satang coin through a hole in my pocket that I was keeping for the final bar tip and one of the lassies up the pole saw it....and... as they say... the rest is history.

Ahh.... so your name must be Charlie?

[Totster]

Why have so many of you guys PMed me clamouring for ST and LT?

Cos it's something a bit different isn't it.... bet you've had a few from Harry, wanting to continue his "research" no doubt...!

totster

[Guest fj2003]

hello i like that idea

but i see you more in a blue oyster bar in san fran

a lot of reallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly hot bare backers around

you will be the QUEEN of the night

muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze muetze glatze ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[stroll]

Why have so many of you guys PMed me clamouring for ST and LT?

Ladyboyz are the flavor of the month...

[Crush]

I am going to become a Bar-Girl!!

Stop laughing

Did you think that anyone would be laughing, did you think it was funny?

To ridicule those that are less fortunate than you is totally pathetic, the only people that will encourage you to continue posting such idiotic posts is other like minded idiots.

Try getting out more, you may learn more about Thailand, enabling you to make a real contribution to a forum.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Why have so many of you guys PMed me clamouring for ST and LT? 

Ladyboyz are the flavor of the month...

Jeeeeeezus Stroll. There's a sobering sort of thought. Yuck. A long tongue and no sense of smell would help.

[simon43]

Hi Crush, get a <deleted> life mate. Don't you recognise humour when it slaps you in the face?

As for BGs being less fortunate than me, maybe you are associating with the wrong sort of BG. Most of the girls I know are happy in their work and making a killing ripping off stupid farangs

[Crush]

making a killing ripping off stupid farangs

You do make some real dumb remarks, this is by far one of the most stupid so far.

Get a life Simon, most of the sex tourists are from low paid jobs in Europe, how the he.ll is anyone gonna make a killing from some jerk that stacks baked beans in Tesco's?