Farang Men In Thailand

[monkeygirl]

Fortunately I'm married to a farang and we came here together. But I always freak out that if it hadn't worked out that I would just spend the rest of my days alone here. It seems like most of the farang men are here for the Thai women or for Thai prostitutes.

Seems like so many of the farang men on this board are very hostile towards farang women because they cannot attract one where they come from. And the Thai men are mostly for Thai women because of family values, etc. So farang women are out in the cold! Also it seems even worse that most men have been with a prostitute here. It would make me uncomfortable to be with someone who had been with a prostitute ever or to be with someone that does not have moral value or quality.

By the way, very cool board. There should be a get-together, so hard to find farang female friends.

[Axel]

It seems like most of the farang men are here for the Thai women or for Thai prostitutes.....

monkeygirl, this is the second time tonight, you give me a mild headache.

Do you really think you can make friends around here while mentioning in one line Thai woman and Thai prostitutes? I think neither Thais nor Farang of either gender would be happy with such statement.

Did it ever enter your mind that Thai ladies can be just that, ladies, or at least human being?

You think farang men are hostile to farang women because they cannot find somebody at home? I tell you a secret, I am hostile to anybody male or female, farang or not, who calls another country's women prostitutes.

Did it ever come to your mind that perhaps the one or other farang man does not want to get involved back home? There might be many reasons, two come to my mind, bloody high nosed, the second one, well I am too polite to mention it here.

If you want to make friends, learn to accept others without looking down to them.

Just for the record:

Yes, I am married, for 25 years this year.

No, I am not married to a prostitute.

No, I am not married to a Thai.

Yes, I think you do have an attitude problem.

[rainman]

see below (edited)

[rainman]

Fortunately I'm married to a farang and we came here together. But I always freak out that if it hadn't worked out that I would just spend the rest of my days alone here. It seems like most of the farang men are here for the Thai women or for Thai prostitutes.

Seems like so many of the farang men on this board are very hostile towards farang women because they cannot attract one where they come from. And the Thai men are mostly for Thai women because of family values, etc. So farang women are out in the cold! Also it seems even worse that most men have been with a prostitute here. It would make me uncomfortable to be with someone who had been with a prostitute ever or to be with someone that does not have moral value or quality.

By the way, very cool board. There should be a get-together, so hard to find farang female friends.

(Pre-apologies for posting in the girls forum)

You say you freak out if it hadn't worked out ...why do you freak out? That's one of the things that turns me off with farang women. They freak out about the smallest things. And they complain about everything, all day long. I'm not generalizing here, don't beat me to death, girls biggrin.gif I'm just saying from my experience and giving you my viewpoint. Regarding farang men being hostile towards farang women, let me tell you i'm not being hostile, i'm just giving you the opinion you wanted and as honest as i can give it. And let me tell you, i have no problems attracting women in farang-lang. Regarding someone having been with a prostitute, i'm sorry to say that many of the girls working in bars here are nicer to talk to (not dragging into bed, just having a chat with) than many other women around the world. And many of these girls have a very high "moral value or quality" (as you call it), they're just not lucky enough to be born with parents who can pay them a good college education just so they get drunk and wasted on campus (as an example, my last farang girlfriend).

Lastly, i think if you change your attitude a little bit towards thai women, you may even find more farang (female and male) friends.

as for me, i've had enough relationships with farang women and i decided its time for a change. nothing personal but it was just time for something new.

rainman, who is happy with his thai girlfriend but still has good farang female friends.

[monkeygirl]

first of all i am a thai woman and a farang woman. a prostitute is a prostitute in any country. second of all, i would appreciate posts from women only or i would have posted in the general forum.

[monkeygirl]

monkeygirl, this is the second time tonight, you give me a mild headache.

Do you really think you can make friends around here while mentioning in one line Thai woman and Thai prostitutes?

Did it ever enter your mind that Thai ladies can be just that, ladies, or at least human being?

Did it ever come to your mind that perhaps the one or other farang man does not want to get involved back home? There might be many reasons, two come to my mind, bloody high nosed, the second one, well I am too polite to mention it here.

Yes, I think you do have an attitude problem.

axel,

i would appreciate constructive and useful comments in a polite manner. if you have a headache, take some medication. if i make you upset, don't read my posts.

i mentioned thai women separately because i did not want it to look like i think all thai women are prostitutes, because obviously they are not.

i can see you have a lot of hostility and it is good that you can clear in in a message board. And thank you for saying that I have an attitude problem, however, I did not ask that question.

now please, comments from women only on what i did ask. have a nice day.

[Wolfie]

This threads getting rather hostile...

can everyone please take lots of deeeeeeeep breaths and try to be nice to each other.

Thanks

[Tornado]

Monkey Girl is very naive, that can be seen on most of her posts on general topics. Im not sure how long she has been in Thailand nor do I undertsand her statement she is Thai and Farang ?

You have a lot to learn, but it will come.

[Honza.a]

Dear monkeygirl

I don't know how many farang woman have you met and I am not one of them but I am a farang man and also I have a farang wife and We have been together for seven years and I have never had any need for prostitute and by the way my wife would like to find a farang friend to talk to sometimes so it is not as bad as you think

[honeyen]

Dear Monkey Girl,

First of all, I am not here to oppose but simply would like to share some personal experiences with you.

I can't deny that until now I still am bothered, although to a lesser extent, by the fact that my bf's ex was a prostitute. It actually took me quite a while to decide whether or not to carry on with the relationship (I was worried that he would become what he used to be again).

But, who doesn't have seedy past? It's the present-him that I should 'evaluate', not the past. Instead of ignoring or pretending I care nothing for his past, I'm now trying my best to confront with all the facts (yes, he's been very honest) and I can see that he really appreciates my yet-to-be-100% generosity and effort

I have learned through a hard way that by being more emollient, easy-going, things would seem much better than they actually are

[kat]

Welcome to Thaivisa forum Monkey Girl.

My personal outlook is that the prostitution issue is complicated, and I cannot easily reduce things into "bad/good" women or men. And also, in all fairness, Thailand is a male-dominated society that also exhibits an extreme objectification and commodification of women and girls. This is the case with or without foreign sex tourists.

However, I will attest to the fact that most(meaning MOST, but not all) farang male attitudes in Thailand as witnessed in this forum also represent some of the worst misogynist and male-chauvinist behavior. Some are only "mild" chauvinsts. Some I end up liking anyway, in spite of their chauvinst behaviour. And some seem to become less chauvinst, the more they interact with you. And some are so extreme, they wouldn't acknowledge you whatever you said, because they hate (farang) women. I put farang in parantheses, because when you dissect these attitudes carefully the hostility against apparent foreign women is really a hatred of all women in disguise. It all comes down to power and control. It is the world that we live in here Monkey girl.

So, by participating in this forum, as an independent voice (that is, one that does not seek their approval), do not expect to be popular or liked by the majority of forum users. Most act as if this is some sort of self-congragulatory boys-club anyway. I come here to glean comments and attitudes among the expat community in Thailand. And also to understand more about these stated gender dynamics. I am learning a lot.

I would love to meet with you and talk sometime. Maybe that's something the women's forum can do together. I'd also love to meet SBK and Honeyen. Let's plan something. However, I am leaving tomorrow for Indonesia for about 1 month. Maybe we can plan a get-together for October?

[sbk]

Monkeygirl is a lukkhleung: Eurasian, hence she can be both Thai and Farang

As for male hostility, some are, some aren't. I ignore the idiots who feel the need to take their bad experiences with a woman out on all women. Heck, I've had bad experiences with farang men but does that make me dislike or generalize about all farang men? Certainly not, I am smart enough to realize that every person is different, that just cause some are idiots doesn't mean all are.

Rainman said: "That's one of the things that turns me off with farang women. They freak out about the smallest things. And they complain about everything, all day long. I'm not generalizing here" Rainman, that is generalizing farang women, even if you think you aren't. Perhaps "that's one of the things that turns me off with the farang women I have met etc etc complain all day long" would have been more appropriate???

Monekygirl gets thrashed for generalizing and then you turn around and do it yourself!!!

Men are so seldom willing to be self-critical and evaluate their attitudes, they all just prefer to slot people into categories they feel comfortable with, they are incapable of expressing their emotions...yadda yadda yadda. Same thing guys, you like it??

Monkeygirl: as to your post: Well, my husband is Thai and is perfectly lovely person, far more compatible with me than my ex-bf's from home. I know lots of farang guys living here in LOS that are quite nice and aren't here because they can't have a successful relationship at home. But then, I know quite a few who are

Learn to ignore the hopeless cases, that's what I do

[kitty]

. Regarding someone having been with a prostitute, i'm sorry to say that many of the girls working in bars here are nicer to talk to (not dragging into bed, just having a chat with) than many other women around the world. male) friends.

Rainman: I am not generalising BUT alot of thai prostitutes will talk to men and be nice to get money,its part of their game. Do you really think they go back to their friends and say "oh what a nice man" i doubt it...

if anything they proberly talk about how long it will take to get so much money or gifts off of him. There are men out there who dont aim to sleep with thai bar girls but end up having "nice chats" with them and because the girls are so "nice and talkative" to them they buy her presents etc for being so nice.

The bar girls are not silly,its all part of getting what they can,a rude bar girl will not get as many customers as the nice ones and i do believe that this way of putting a smile on everything can go into their personal lifes.

Now like i said im fully aware that not all thai bar girls are this way, there are no doubts there are alot of genuine lovely girls out there, but along with the nice ones comes the greedy fake ones..

As to the farang men,its the same really for me.

While i was out there i made some really nice male friends but i saw alot of idiots too...well hey its the same as everyone.... thai men, farang woman etc etc...

Theres a big mixture of people in this world

[jigsaw]

...You re absolutely right to some respect monkeygirl but so politically incorrect...I understand you re new in Thailand...There s nothing you can do about all those sad little facts. You have to flow with the way things are or move somewhere else... FLEXIBILITY is the secret. You ll have to rearange your point of view to avoid frustration and eternal bitching.

still it s OK to express your feelings and opinions in this forum if that s how you feel. People who just attack you without having any possitive advice to offer in return also have an attiude problem... now you know something more about this coutry...

[Axel]

Well, monkeygirl, perhaps I made a mistake to reply myself in this section, apologies.

I did discuss your post with 6 of my lady-staff, who, I know, are avid readers in Thai Visa. Seems all of them are not happy, having read your contribution to the forum.

To give you a background, all are Thais and do work for me over the last 8-13 years, make it average of 10 years. All of them speak two - three languages, are professionals in international trade, (and I am talking about business), know how to handle complicated cross border transactions with multiple government contacts a.s.o.

Their only question "Why do farang think all Thai are prostitutes?"

Perhaps I do have an attitude problem as well by trusting and believing into my staff? Frankly speaking, I don't care, they are female, they are professionals, in a pure business-sense, and they are responsible for the well - being of my company.

If you think above reflects a lot of hostility, I don't think so but do have to respect your opinion.

monkeygirl Posted on Mon 2004-09-20, 10:14:48

first of all i am a thai woman and a farang woman. a prostitute is a prostitute in any country. second of all, i would appreciate posts from women only or i would have posted in the general forum.

On above quote, I perhaps have problems to understand your meaning, when you say you are "a thai woman and a farang woman". So my apologies for misreading what ever you want to say.

Finally, I will respect, from now on, your request "posts from women only", and might ask one of my staff to comment, although in the general forum you as well expressed your hang-up with prostitutes.

Now, no bad feelings from my side, but do me one favour please, don't look down at Thai woman, they are human beings, after all, prostitutes as you might think, or not.

I came to live and work here. I do respect and love the people, from my heart, nothing else.

So, peace!

[Phil Conners]

Fortunately I'm married to a farang and we came here together. [...] It would make me uncomfortable to be with someone who had been with a prostitute ever

Hahaha, this is so funny. Your husband would of course NEVER sample the goodies on the shelves of this "big boys candy store" ....

[Khun Larry]

Fortunately I'm married to a farang and we came here together. But I always freak out that if it hadn't worked out that I would just spend the rest of my days alone here. It seems like most of the farang men are here for the Thai women or for Thai prostitutes.

Seems like so many of the farang men on this board are very hostile towards farang women because they cannot attract one where they come from. And the Thai men are mostly for Thai women because of family values, etc. So farang women are out in the cold! Also it seems even worse that most men have been with a prostitute here. It would make me uncomfortable to be with someone who had been with a prostitute ever or to be with someone that does not have moral value or quality.

By the way, very cool board. There should be a get-together, so hard to find farang female friends.

------------------------------------

Are you saying Thai men have family values and Thai women do not? Never heard that one before.

I'm sure your a nice person but maybe in the wrong country. In some cases Thailand can bring out very cynical attitude i.e. monkeygirl is not a very flattering name in Thailand.

Really cannot find anything in your post to indicate meeting you would be an enjoyable time.

Chookdee na

[Khun Larry]

i would appreciate posts from women only or i would have posted in the general forum.

----------------

Sorry monkey, life does not work that way. The section may be about farang women but open to all. Go start your own site if you want to set the rules. I'm sure you will be a big success

[kitty]

this is a post about farang men in thailand and she doesnt state all thai woman are prostitutes either

infact if anything she's slating "some" farang men that come to thailand

Plus this is a forum to talk about opinions...you really think we'd all have the same views???

I'm sorry but im all for admiting i wouldnt want to be with a man who's been with any prostitute either as thats not part of what i go for or believe is right in my mind. But thats just me and monkey girls just posting her thoughts too as you have to admit a lot (not all)of farang men go to thailand for sex.

[stroll]

I apologise for all the guys who feel the need to defend themselves here and mess up this thread.

[SK1972]

I would love to have a get togetehr with farang women/foreign women living in Bangkok area.

I do agree with monkeygirl that it is difficult to find farang women friends here.

Let me have your comments

[honeyen]

I would love to meet with you and talk sometime. Maybe that's something the women's forum can do together. I'd also love to meet SBK and Honeyen. Let's plan something. However, I am leaving tomorrow for Indonesia for about 1 month. Maybe we can plan a get-together for October?

Good idea. Shall I start planning this gathering?

Well, whoever is interested, please send me an e-mail, telling me where, when would be best for you (gotta be end of Oct I presume, Kat is now in Indo for a month).

[SK1972]

I would like to join this gathering too if I may, honeyen.

[sbk]

I am forever stuck on this island (paradise does have its minuses too). However, I will need to make the foray up to Bangkok sometime before april (hey, time moves slower down here ) so maybe we can do several get togethers?? And hey, where is Nat???

[ThaiAmGuy]

Hey Monkeygirl—I have read your various posts throughout these boards and you appear to have this serious animosity towards Thai men (e.g.,“Fortunately I'm married to a farang..."--give me a freakin break! No woman would ever say something like that.). You’ve made it a point to state that you’ve never dated a Thai man, yet you pretend to speak with authority about Thai men. How can you have a freakin clue what a Thai man is like when you’ve never been with one?? You are either incredibly clueless and immature….or you’re actually a frustrated farang man masquerading as a woman to bash Thai men. I tend to believe the latter. (No offense farang men—some of my best friends are farang guys) Point is Monkey, you have very little credibility when discussing anything relating to Thai people. Or are you clueless about that too?

[kitty]

I am forever stuck on this island (paradise does have its minuses too). However, I will need to make the foray up to Bangkok sometime before april (hey, time moves slower down here ) so maybe we can do several get togethers?? And hey, where is Nat???

Are you still leaving in april sbk?

[monkeygirl]

Thanks to those that actually answered my question or even read enough to know what I am talking about instead of digging to find a detail to criticize or making up something that I have not said. I really think a couple of you are mis-reading because I can't see that I even mention some of the things you are talking about, but it's no problem.

I can see that it is of little point for me to address some of the comments above. It is unfortunate that the board is used for people to try and make personal attacks against other members and many blessings to those who have that kind of aggression and need to get it out, it is very good that you can do it online and hopefully not in your real life. I'm quite flattered that people checked my other posts or even remember them - can't say that anyone else has thus so impacted me yet.

It's also sad that for some, anyone who has an opinion different from theirs is suddenly naiive, stupid, etc. I welcome good debate from anyone, but "you give me a headache" is not exactly quality debate material.

I am actually fluent in Thai and English, written and spoken and a dual citizen with a Master's degree and have lived here for a few years, as well as in many other countries. I have both Thai and farang friends, men and women, and have nothing against any races. I enjoy all aspects from both types of friendships. I have even had friends that were Thai prostitutes (by the way guys, you are not really 'handsome' man). There are much fewer farang women living here than Thai women or farang men, so it is a delight to get to talk to some. And clearly, not all men go to prostitutes or have been to prostitutes and it's refreshing to hear that from a poster on this board.

I definately am not saying that all Thai women are prostitutes, and I actually have nothing against prostitutes, having volunteered in the past to help them to move to other lives and occupations. I actually feel that prostitutes in Thailand are the victims. That men who use prostitutes contribute to young Thai girls and boys being sold or kidnapped from their villages into prostitution and gang-raped into submission. It is not all girls, but it does happen, and it wouldn't if there was no demand.

I do have apologies to ThaiAmGuy, I did not realize I said "Fortunately" and going back, it was not that I meant instead of a Thai guy, it was just in general. Many of my relatives are Thai men.

Anyway... not going to stretch into other topics.

[donna]

You Go, Girl!

Actually, Monkeygirl, I thought your first post was interesting, and the replies to it have been even more so.

I didn't read it as you saying that all Thai women were prostitutes, and don't know why your post was interpreted in such a way.

We are all entitled to our own opinions. And I think you have a point, too. Yes, you are lucky you are happily married. Whether this is to a Thai or farang is irrespective. And, yes, being a single farang woman in this country can be lonely. That's what Monkeygirl is getting at.

Her initial point was to say that if she was not happily married, she may find it incredibly lonely here and this is due to the fact that it APPEARS that most men come here and only have eyes for Thai girls.

But as a Farang female living here:

Do we find Farang men attractive? ###### yes.

Do we find Thai men attractive? ###### yes.

We are all attractive in our own way. It just takes time for some people to see it.

[Khun Larry]

It seems like most of the farang men are here for the Thai women

After reading your various post who would blame them?

You have one sour attitude and caustic communication style.

You Go, Girl! Go back to where you came!!!

[Boo]

I thought she was Khun Larry, being half thai & everything