Status Anxiety.

[uptou]

Read a great book called Status Anxiety,by Alain De Botton a few years back,about why we all,to some extent,worry about what others think of us,which traced back to the possible causes,& true accounts of people duelling to the death over the ownership of a cat for the sake of honour,which could have easily been avoided by a logical based sense of own self worth.

It also seems to me,that in the world today,people largely like to label others as either winners or losers,& weve all seen,or heard of near broke thais that are driving around in mercerdes,& alot of Thais seem to love Thaksin simply because of his wealth & power,& dont really care if he is a decent human being or not.In the west also,people are obsessed with a need to be seen to be doing well on a financial level.

Is a big part of being happy,not to be concerned with status or how others think of us?

What would buddhism have to say about status anxiety,competetiveness,winning,& pride?

No flaming please.

[jamesc2000]

I am not an expect on Buddhism and I could be way off but I think the simple answer is the middle way.

So if you were really rich, you need to really to start spending so you are not so rich. If you were poor then maybe you have to save a bit more!

If you were really smart, you should slack off a bit so that you come in middle of the class. And if you are failing all your subjects then maybe a bit more study is needed.

So no anxiety about being mediocre, work hard to be average and take pride about not always winning!

Maybe some experts on Buddhism would like to share their views.

[Brucenkhamen]

Is a big part of being happy,not to be concerned with status or how others think of us?

What would buddhism have to say about status anxiety,competetiveness,winning,& pride?

I think you are right, not being concerned about status or how others think of us goes a long way towards giving you happiness. If you are concerned about these things it leads to unhappiness if you don't have them or anxiety over losing them if you do.

Buddhism turns this condition on it's head.

It talks about the eight worldy winds; Praise and Blame, Gain and Loss, Fame and Shame, Happiness and Despair. These are really two sides of the same coin and the winds can blow either way any time.

You can't control your situation and expect to always get the side of it that you like, it's always changing. So Buddhism teaches you to not cling to one side and reject the other rather to observe what you experience objectively and learn from it.

[rockyysdt]

The way I view it, is that we all have a purpose in life.

One purposes is to seek and experience enlightenment.

Life is full of diversions which take us from our path.

Diversions such as wealth, status, gluttony, sexual extreme, and others can become obsessions and consume much of our lifes resource (time).

They can be pleasurable but more likely end up involving much pain and anxiety.

Many rich get caught up with having to spend outrageous amounts in order to be accepted or be seen to be better than others in their social group.

Their decisions and choices are based on what others think of them.

Pressures include:

Bigger & better home in an acceptable area.

More exotic cars.

Latest label fashions.

Private schools for children.

Exotic school lunches for kids.

Latest $5,000 handbag.

The pressure to earn more and more to feed their status must be enormousl.

Nothing wrong with wealth.

Just beware of status and seif image (ego), as this is the biggest hurdle to self enlightenment!

Edited March 28, 2008 by rockyysdt

[Brucenkhamen]

Exotic school lunches for kids.

I should stop sending mine to school with Bush Baby Bagels

[rockyysdt]

Exotic school lunches for kids.

I should stop sending mine to school with Bush Baby Bagels

You'll have to send me the recipe.

[CuriousGeorge77]

I remember one of Aesop's Fables ...  about a family rising a donkey into town.  At first the father is riding,  while the rest of the family is walking.  Then someone passing by comments about how shameful it is that a perfectly healthy adult would let a 10 year old walk.  So the father gets off and puts his som on. Then someone comments about how the mother should ride,  and how the parents should ride,  and how the family should be carrying the donkey.  Finally they all get on the donkey,  and it dies from overexertion.  

I've always liked that one,  and it makes a point about how you can never satisfy other people.  It is a fools errand.  Amazing how hard it is not to care about what other people think about you, though,  isn't it!!?  ITs amazing how susceptible we are to even the littlest whims of those passerbys...