Money To The Thai "family"

[easer]

Guys, you know what im talking about:

Guy meets girl. She "love him" and he loves her. They move in together and it turns out her parents dont work and dont have money. So, western as he is he thinks "lets open a buisness that they run and make their own money". Guy opens a western buisness and "mom and dad" dont give it the least bit try to make it happen. Buisness close. So, now guy pay mom and dad 5000/month for maintaining a life. Then guy makes more money and in order to be able to brag about it to girl he also needs to start paying 6000/month. Otherwise he turns out the asshol_e. In other words guy put himself in a possition where if he ever gets a raise its about "shut up or pay the raise to mom and dad". Stop pay and girl is out. Quick.

Now, guys, i need advise. What do i do. Seen this story one time to many and now a friend of mine is in the beginning of it. The "grandma in hospital", "cow is sick", "cat is pregnant" is coming on him and he just do have any clue because he is just flatered this lovely girl "loves" him as he also is deeply in love with her.

How do i do? Telling him i seen it before will probably ruin our friendship, saying nothing will also ruin our friendship in the long run because when he finds out i knew and did not say anything, i will be the asshol_e.

Nomatter how this thread seems, this is a serious issue for me and i would like it to be answered seriously. Please.

/Easer

[Fantasteak]

Well you should direct him to www.thaivisa.com. Let him read some of the storys here and maybe he will think a bit about what he is doing. Seriuosly you can only tell him what you know and leave it at that. Some people are just born suckers. Not saying this is your mate, but I really have seen it all as far as Farang men falling for Thai woman. I know men that have been robbed blind by a scheming slapper when everyone around them knew what she was up to. Did'nt matter how many times you hinted to him, or even in one case his mate told him what she was up to, he would,nt have any of it. When he eventually found out he was gutted and alot poorer. He is now some 2 years latter doing exactly the same thing with another scheming slut. Its a live and learn or live and burn situation.

Personally if he was a good long term friend I would sit him down and tell him everything that I know. You wont loose a good friend for being honest.

[RueFang]

He won't listen to you. As a friend you should try to tell him what you know but you can't make someone change if they don't want to. Then when it's all over at least you know you tried.. if you say nothing, you'll just feel guilty thinking you could have prevented it (which you couldn't, so stop worrying!).

[Pushit]

When there are enough posts' to remove all doubt then email the thread of the discussion to him although doubtful it will make a difference. This chick has to bring him to his knees before he will believe anyone else.

[easer]

Personally if he was a good long term friend I would sit him down and tell him everything that I know. You wont loose a good friend for being honest. [/quote

Thanks very much for the answer, and i guess being honest is the way to go. Kind of thought so myself but in this case, with the blindness of a guy that havent had so much love in his life and now all of a sudden have a nice life with a beutiful woman (only as long as he pays her parents i suppose?), its not so easy to sit him down and say "btw, hey, stop paying your parents in law and see what happens with the "love" you found". It is actually a really though situation on me, and this (childhood) friend of me dont have any clue what so ever whats going on. He keep telling me how amazing it is that a wonderful woman like his girlfriend wants him. I myself kind of stand in the choice of being a real asshol_e or being a real asshol_e as it feels. Christ, he pays her parents 30 % of his salary!! They are healthy and not to old. They always worked before!! Same as his "love". She also quit working and he is providing them all with his small salary. I just dont know how i should do. Should i be the real ass and dont tell him what i think or should i be the real ass telling him how this really is?? I lived long time in Thailand and seen it before so many times, he is a childhoodfriend that never been here before and also had some problems back home. He was not the first choice by the hotties so to speak and he is just so blindly in love with the idea that this hottie "loves" him that i will for sure loose our friendship if i tell him. She is way out of his league and if he stop paying he will see that and be very sad.

Im so helpless in this situation....

Any advise is seriously considered. And please leave the jokes out.....

/Easer

[Bisto]

OH DEAR ME.

Sorry mate money cames first then love. Daughter has to fund parents thats the culture, buy papa 5 rai 10 cows 2dozen chickens make sure they are afew fighting cocks .

Mama mabye 20 ducks.

Or pay the sin sod and let that be that. You got to put your foot down .

[Maigo6]

If the guy finds a few months of happiness and it costs him 6,000 Baht a month for that happiness, who are you to try to tell him otherwise ?

At least he is happy at the moment, you could actually read a few of the threads on Thai related forums like this one and see all the miserable bitter unhappy Farangs in Thailand, how on earth you can get good advice from this lot heaven knows, look how happy they are!! Always bleedin' moaning. If they knew how to be happy, they wouldn't be so bleedin miserable would they?

So for 6000 per month his happiness is cheap. ( Hardly a kings ransom is it )

Leave the guy alone, he will not thank you for interfering, he is probably big enough to make his own decisions in life, so let it be.

Last thing you wanna do is listen to all the ' Experts' here, including me.

Let him be.

Edited April 7, 2008 by Maigo6

[easer]

OH DEAR ME.

Sorry mate money cames first then love. Daughter has to fund parents thats the culture, buy papa 5 rai 10 cows 2dozen chickens make sure they are afew fighting cocks .

Mama mabye 20 ducks.

Or pay the sin sod and let that be that. You got to put your foot down .

Well, i am quite familiar with the bar-version. I lived in Thailand for 19 years so im not asking for anybodys advise on "Thai-culture". Thanks anyway.

Im askig for advise in my friendship with something i consider my lifetime friend. Once again im asking you guy to take this thread seriously because it is serious to me. Any bar-tourist advise is fine in other threads but for me this is serious. Please.

/Easer

[GuestHouse]

...

At least he is happy at the moment, you could actually read a few of the threads on Thai related forums like this one and see all the miserable bitter unhappy Farangs in Thailand, how on earth you can get good advice from this lot heaven knows, look how happy they are!! Always bleedin' moaning. If they knew hpw to be happy, they wouldn't be so bleedin miserable would they?

....

I say Maigo6, is there any topic here on TV that you can reply to without bleating on about "miserable bitter unhappy Farangs in Thailand"?

Why the urge to bring up your pet topic - are you obsessed? .. It seems you might be.

[Deke]

Six thousand Baht isn't much money in absolute terms. If it's a hardship though, it's too much.

My advice would be to tell the girl that the place where he works is cutting back and that he is forced to take a cut in salary to keep his job. This means that he can only afford to send the family 4000 (or whatever) Baht.

1. He reduces his expense and can keep the difference hidden somewhere to provide for other eventualities.

2. He will soon know what the chick's actual intentions are.

[londonthai]

be honest with your friend, tell him what you think - your friendship doesn't have to brake. If he does not realise than somebody has to point to him the situation. Why waste time on an unhonest relationship if he can be trying to find somebody else?

[Maigo6]

I say Maigo6, is there any topic here on TV that you can reply to without bleating on about "miserable bitter unhappy Farangs in Thailand"?

Why the urge to bring up your pet topic - are you obsessed? .. It seems you might be.

Yes there are topics where I don't mention Bitter resentful Farangs, but there are so many opportunities to mention them in so many threads, I find it difficult to control myself.

Edited April 7, 2008 by Maigo6

[colino]

In my own case when money was mentioned for pa pa , i told my wife we come first and when we are sorted then i will help out,

If it was my friend i would suggest not paying for a while and see what happens true love or love of cash ?

(lucky for me i seem to have inherited a good family pa pa works and has even lent me money )

[hp8000]

Kick the girl out of your house and enjoy your life, not that difficult.

[way2muchcoffee]

It's pretty simple. He's a grown man. Let him have his fun. Let him feel the pain that will inevitably come. Let him learn and grow from the experience. Let him be a man.

[easer]

It's pretty simple. He's a grown man. Let him have his fun. Let him feel the pain that will inevitably come. Let him learn and grow from the experience. Let him be a man.

Well, yeah i guess.

Its just that i care deeply about this man., Its hard to explain. We are childhoodfriends where i kind of always "look after him". And i im the guy that reccomended him to come to Thailand, i am the experienced Thailand man that intruduce him to everything. I dont know man.... it is hard for me....i really dont know what to do. Words like "ditch the bitch" and so on come to mind and i understand some posts but this is hard on me. I can not easyly let this go....

/Easer

[GuestHouse]

If you have known him from childhood and he seems to follow your advice, then tell him what you think and tell him it is your honest opinion.

If he listens, he listens, if he does not, well at least you gave your honest opinion.

[TheDon]

Guys, you know what im talking about:

Guy meets girl. She "love him" and he loves her. They move in together and it turns out her parents dont work and dont have money. So, western as he is he thinks "lets open a buisness that they run and make their own money". Guy opens a western buisness and "mom and dad" dont give it the least bit try to make it happen. Buisness close. So, now guy pay mom and dad 5000/month for maintaining a life. Then guy makes more money and in order to be able to brag about it to girl he also needs to start paying 6000/month. Otherwise he turns out the asshol_e. In other words guy put himself in a possition where if he ever gets a raise its about "shut up or pay the raise to mom and dad". Stop pay and girl is out. Quick.

Now, guys, i need advise. What do i do. Seen this story one time to many and now a friend of mine is in the beginning of it. The "grandma in hospital", "cow is sick", "cat is pregnant" is coming on him and he just do have any clue because he is just flatered this lovely girl "loves" him as he also is deeply in love with her.

How do i do? Telling him i seen it before will probably ruin our friendship, saying nothing will also ruin our friendship in the long run because when he finds out i knew and did not say anything, i will be the asshol_e.

Nomatter how this thread seems, this is a serious issue for me and i would like it to be answered seriously. Please.

/Easer

There is no saving him, some faranags are just weak, they get caught up in something they just cant get out of, some girls could tie there bf/husbands to a street pole throwing eggs at them and they will still love them.

This is actually very common in farangs. They just have no idea and are just soft and weak

[Neeranam]

There is no saving him, some faranags are just weak, they get caught up in something they just cant get out of, some girls could tie there bf/husbands to a street pole throwing eggs at them and they will still love them.

This is actually very common in farangs. They just have no idea and are just soft and weak

Quite often you'll find that they are strong in other areas but when it comes to Thai women they are dumb.

[Maigo6]

some girls could tie there bf/husbands to a street pole throwing eggs at them and they will still love them.

This is actually very common in farangs.

Personally, I prefer being tied to the bed and whipped with scented bootlaces.

[KireB]

Why can't the girl pay this 'fee' herself? She can work, cant she?

[Heng]

Should have warned him before he got here. It's like waiting for someone to get hooked on smack before telling them 'that it's kind of addictive and not really a good idea.'

[dominator]

You worked for a living, just tell them to get off of their fat ar$es and do the same.

[villagefarang]

I'm seeing something different here. I'm seeing your problem, not his. Your looking for a way to diminish your guilt. I know you want to be your brother's keeper and all, but trying to take the blame for others mistakes is a bit vain.

Just be a good friend and help him pick up the pieces when the time comes. No blame, no I told you so. Just be there if he needs a friend. People are responsible for their own actions not the actions of others.

Just my two cents worth.

[Maigo6]

You worked for a living, just tell them to get off of their fat ar$es and do the same.

Maybe we should take away the Welfare and Social Security systems in the western world, I wonder what the results would be ...........

Many Farangs act like they didn't know Thailand had poor people before they came here, would they go to Switzerland to look for a wife 35 years younger, No of course not, and why ?

Cos people can't take advantage of the poor in Switzerland, thats why!!!

But in less developed countries in SE Asia, the poor are ripe for financial exploitation, by Westerners and their own people too. Don't seem so surprised when the poor want a better life.

Take away all the Social Security and Welfare payments in out countries, and we would see old men with girlfriends 35 years younger than them in London too, and they would'nt have to be mega-rich either, just having a job would do.

Be realistic.

Edited April 8, 2008 by Maigo6

[tracer5050]

Tell your friend the truth> you can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink as they say. Your friend is lucky to have you. TELL HIM.

[GuestHouse]

You worked for a living, just tell them to get off of their fat ar$es and do the same.

Maybe we should take away the Welfare and Social Security systems in the western world, I wonder what the results would be ...........

Many Farangs act like they didn't know Thailand had poor people before they came here, would they go to Switzerland to look for a wife 35 years younger, No of course not, and why ?

Cos people can't take advantage of the poor in Switzerland, thats why!!!

But in less developed countries in SE Asia, the poor are ripe for financial exploitation, by Westerners and their own people too. Don't seem so surprised when the poor want a better life.

Take away all the Social Security and Welfare payments in out countries, and we would see old men with girlfriends 35 years younger than them in London too, and they would'nt have to be mega-rich either, just having a job would do.

Be realistic.

This is an extraordinary week.... I've come across a post by Naam that I agreed with, and now, heavens above, I find myself in agreement with Maigo6 (it seems when he's not ranting on his pet subject he might have something to say).

[Naam]

You worked for a living, just tell them to get off of their fat ar$es and do the same.

Maybe we should take away the Welfare and Social Security systems in the western world, I wonder what the results would be ...........

Many Farangs act like they didn't know Thailand had poor people before they came here, would they go to Switzerland to look for a wife 35 years younger, No of course not, and why ?

Cos people can't take advantage of the poor in Switzerland, thats why!!!

But in less developed countries in SE Asia, the poor are ripe for financial exploitation, by Westerners and their own people too. Don't seem so surprised when the poor want a better life.

Take away all the Social Security and Welfare payments in out countries, and we would see old men with girlfriends 35 years younger than them in London too, and they would'nt have to be mega-rich either, just having a job would do.

Be realistic.

This is an extraordinary week.... I've come across a post by Naam that I agreed with, and now, heavens above, I find myself in agreement with Maigo6 (it seems when he's not ranting on his pet subject he might have something to say).

are you feeling alright GuestHouse? i hope it is nothing serious!

[BigSnake]

Guys, you know what im talking about:

Guy meets girl. She "love him" and he loves her. They move in together and it turns out her parents dont work and dont have money. So, western as he is he thinks "lets open a buisness that they run and make their own money". Guy opens a western buisness and "mom and dad" dont give it the least bit try to make it happen. Buisness close. So, now guy pay mom and dad 5000/month for maintaining a life. Then guy makes more money and in order to be able to brag about it to girl he also needs to start paying 6000/month. Otherwise he turns out the asshol_e. In other words guy put himself in a possition where if he ever gets a raise its about "shut up or pay the raise to mom and dad". Stop pay and girl is out. Quick.

Now, guys, i need advise. What do i do. Seen this story one time to many and now a friend of mine is in the beginning of it. The "grandma in hospital", "cow is sick", "cat is pregnant" is coming on him and he just do have any clue because he is just flatered this lovely girl "loves" him as he also is deeply in love with her.

How do i do? Telling him i seen it before will probably ruin our friendship, saying nothing will also ruin our friendship in the long run because when he finds out i knew and did not say anything, i will be the asshol_e.

Nomatter how this thread seems, this is a serious issue for me and i would like it to be answered seriously. Please.

/Easer

Didn't see anything in your comments about marriage or kids so what is bounding you to this girlfriend(good looks) don't kid yourself, walk away, 100 percent there a 10 or more just waiting for a change to make you for get all about this GF. In other words get over her, not worthy of your time and efforts.

[jrbkk64]

Thanks very much for the answer, and i guess being honest is the way to go. Kind of thought so myself but in this case, with the blindness of a guy that havent had so much love in his life and now all of a sudden have a nice life with a beutiful woman (only as long as he pays her parents i suppose?), its not so easy to sit him down and say "btw, hey, stop paying your parents in law and see what happens with the "love" you found". It is actually a really though situation on me, and this (childhood) friend of me dont have any clue what so ever whats going on. He keep telling me how amazing it is that a wonderful woman like his girlfriend wants him. I myself kind of stand in the choice of being a real asshol_e or being a real asshol_e as it feels. Christ, he pays her parents 30 % of his salary!! They are healthy and not to old. They always worked before!! Same as his "love". She also quit working and he is providing them all with his small salary. I just dont know how i should do. Should i be the real ass and dont tell him what i think or should i be the real ass telling him how this really is?? I lived long time in Thailand and seen it before so many times, he is a childhoodfriend that never been here before and also had some problems back home. He was not the first choice by the hotties so to speak and he is just so blindly in love with the idea that this hottie "loves" him that i will for sure loose our friendship if i tell him. She is way out of his league and if he stop paying he will see that and be very sad.

Im so helpless in this situation....

Any advise is seriously considered. And please leave the jokes out.....

/Easer

30% of his salary is 5,000 THB???? So his salary is about 17k/month???? How can anybody (farang) survive on that no matter where he lives in Thailand?? Instead of providing for her and her parents and struggling to survive, he should focus his energy and limited resources on finding better income!!

He is crazy and YOU need to tell him NOW!