The Hose Beside The Toilet

[Team Bukowski]

so far I've just been using it to power-clean my teeth after I brush in the morning...but it must have another use surely?

[Rinrada]

been using it to power-clean my teeth

Do you really want to know?

[Team Bukowski]

well actually...yeah...but maybe its not something you talk about in public?

I always see it there and are tempted to give it a go...but I'm scared.

I wonder how many farangs use it?

[Santini]

Its good to get the sand from your toes

Apart from that, and your teeth cleaning, i cant think what its for

[Wolfie]

Its used as an alternative to toilet paper... other uses include (but not limited to) cleaning teeth, getting sand from toes, washing off the toilet after a messy spray incident, zapping mossies who try to bite you, splashing the cat if she comes too close and cleaning off vomit from the toilet after a heavy session the night before.

Bet you dont use it to clean your teeth anymore, eh?

[RDN]

so far I've just been using it to power-clean my teeth after I brush in the morning...but it must have another use surely?

Removing "kii ghecko" from the shower window sill...

[Gazza]

Its used as an alternative to toilet paper...

Just be careful the lever doesn't scratch ya' bum.

[Santini]

Its used as an alternative to toilet paper...

So... can you blow your noes with it too?

[Wolfie]

So... can you blow your noes with it too?

You could try...

[Santini]

Just a minute...

I couldnt go through with it. There was an overbearing strong stench when i got it to within an inch, so no, i wouldnt reccoment that usage

[CheshireCat]

With the humidity in Thailand, I tend to fill my Evian bottle from it when empty. Always carry a bottle of water around. Actually has a cheeky after taste.

[Up2U]

Found not only in Thailand, but throughout the Middle East.

Much better than toilet paper, especially when you've had the runs for a week, or got through an extra hot Ruby the night before. Bliss, pure bliss!

One guy I built a palace for, in Saudi, had a built-in arrangement, sprayed warm water up his jacksie while he was still sitting. Never tried it - afraid the thermostat would malfunction

[Coffee Dude]

Yes, it's a high pressure tooth wash but, remember, you should still swirl your tooth brush in the adjacent ceramic bowl before and after use.

Coffee!!!

[IamMaiC]

Its used as an alternative to toilet paper... other uses include (but not limited to) cleaning teeth, getting sand from toes, washing off the toilet after a messy spray incident, zapping mossies who try to bite you, splashing the cat if she comes too close and cleaning off vomit from the toilet after a heavy session the night before.

Bet you dont use it to clean your teeth anymore, eh?

Wolfie What kinds of Cats are we talking about??

[Team Bukowski]

wow..I had no idea the hose had so many uses (and the adjacent ceramic bowl!)

thanks gang!

...who said there was never any useful info on this messageboard...!

[dr_Pat_Pong]

wow..I had no idea the hose had so many uses (and the adjacent ceramic bowl!)

thanks gang!

...who said there was never any useful info on this messageboard...!

Another one joins the ranks of Thaivisa.

[thailien8]

If you spot one of those big roaches in your bathroom, turn the water squirter on it and pin it in a corner for a while. This weakens and slows the roach so it won't scamper away before you can kill it.

When I go back to America, land of toilet paper, I really miss my butt squirter. If possible, I'll sit on the sink and clean with water. In Thailand, I try to avoid using the toilet in fancy hotels, as they all seem to think paper is superior to water for cleaning.

[DJ Pat]

With decent pressure you can hose the walls down after scrubbing them with Ajax.

[igotworms]

Be mindful of some arse-hoses that have the surge capacity of a firehose-enema. Those will wake you up in the morn'.

[DJ Pat]

Be mindful of some arse-hoses that have the surge capacity of a firehose-enema. Those will wake you up in the morn'.

Also remember that little 'deposits' can get stuck to them too!

[chuchok]

If you have ever suffered from the old 'farmer giles'...a squirt of ice cold water is like having a cold beer on a hot day..bliss!

[Rinrada]

throughout the Middle East.

a palace for, in Saudi, had a built-in arrangement, sprayed warm water up his jacksie while

I did one many years ago in Riyadh and the chap had communal "hamans" fitted with both western sit up as well as asian squat bogs plus all the latest gadgets including the hot air facility for warming and drying "bottys"apres the dirty deed....o yes ...

The western loo seats not only had seat warmers incorporated but also had a device that vibrated with a modulating control switch which needed a bit of manipulation/imagination What with the piped muzak and the automatic airfreshioner and infusion unit..Chanel No 5/Old Spice etc what more did you need.

He also had a "sevant"who would hang around in the master dressing room with a soft pink (got me thinking) towel in case the masters wotsit was not fully dried but I only fully understood his setup when he turned up one day in a brand new Merc ....coloured ....pink.

[Totster]

Additional comments may be found here...

Bum Gun Appreciation Thread

[RDN]

Totster, glad to see yours appears to be screwed into a valve that can be turned off. One place I stayed in, it was connected straight into mains pressure - no off-valve. And of course, the cheap plastic sprayer broke one day, while being used - bl00dy water everywhere! Had to put the end into the water cistern till I found the mains water stop-cock

[simon43]

I havn't used this hose-thingy yet, but I do have one concern.

(How can I explain this delicate problem?)

If you clean your bum with the hose, then you are left with a dripping wet bum. So you then have to dry it with toilet paper. But the paper we use is the self-destructing type due to the puny waste system in our appartment block. If you wipe a wet bum with this toilet paper, then it disintegrates all over your bum

Any suggestions?

[Totster]

I havn't used this hose-thingy yet, but I do have one concern.

(How can I explain this delicate problem?)

If you clean your bum with the hose, then you are left with a dripping wet bum. So you then have to dry it with toilet paper. But the paper we use is the self-destructing type due to the puny waste system in our appartment block. If you wipe a wet bum with this toilet paper, then it disintegrates all over your bum

Any suggestions?

When I'm in my own toilet I use a towel ( bum is clean from water ).... when I'm in another toilet I use the paper to dry as best I can.... I have some mates who just drip dry...

Simon you really should give it a go... you'll be converted instantly..!

totster

[simon43]

Simon you really should give it a go... you'll be converted instantly..! 

Is it more fun if someone else does it for you?

[Totster]

Simon you really should give it a go... you'll be converted instantly..! 

Is it more fun if someone else does it for you?

I spose it depends who's doing it .... ! ha ha

totster

[Stocky]

I'm a great fan of the 'Capt. Kirk doofer' and feel slightly unclean when forced to resort to tissue only in the UK.

I've got a bidet here in the Russian flat but that really doesn't cut the crap in quite the same way!

[Totster]

I'm a great fan of the 'Capt. Kirk doofer' and feel slightly unclean when forced to resort to tissue only in the UK. 

That's so right...

I tell you one problem I do have though, when I visit somewhere that only has the "hole in the floor" type toilet (I think I mean the Squat type) and instead of the hose and nozzle you get "bowl and water butt" (like at my gf's house).... I ALWAYS get in such a mess with those things, water everywhere... well I'm not gonna explain the rest, there must be a technique....

totster