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The Grumpiest Ex-pat In Bangkok

CarlBkk

By CarlBkk
in Bangkok

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TBWG Gold Member

TBWG

Posted
Posted

Hi

Gosh this is getting exciting only wish I could witness it.

However I have obviously led a sheltered life could someone tell me what a wife beater is?

Also I would like to suggest that all visiting Thai Visa members wear a red carnation and carry a rolled up copy of the Bangkok Post (in the absence of The Times) under there right arm to aid recognition.

Can't wait for next thrilling instalment.

TBWG :o

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mrtoad
mrtoad

Carl, you may have had an ET experience. Jokes aside, I'd keep on going and make sure that I sat in the seat he thinks is his. The guy sounds like a complete tool.

CarlBkk
CarlBkk

Just a little story, which is continuing each and every day. If the person I'm talking about is on this board I welcome his reasons. Emporium, Friday morning 10am, food floor, Oriental coffee/cake s

Andiamo
Andiamo

You know what's gonna happen now doncha? There is gonna be a rush on for THAT seat every morning as soon as they open the doors to Emporium at 10am. I can just picture the scene now as TV Members ma

Posted Images

Tod Daniels Gold Member

Tod Daniels

Posted
Posted

Take my word for it; 2 genuinely afflicted people with OCD vying for the same seat would NOT be a pretty sight.

I admit, I do walk with a cane built more like a baseball bat, but anymore I rarely have cause to club ill-mannered people like baby fur seals. It's been a while now since that's occurred; being the easy going, mild mannered, yet all too opinionated person I am.

damocletian Apprentice Member

damocletian

Posted
Posted
What's about if enough members show up and occupy each table so that someone like to sit on the table of GOM?!

Would be maybe funny to see his reaction if someone sits just down on an not occupied chair on "his" table!!

Cheers.

Why dontcha y'all just stick pins in the guy and be done with it!

"The bells, the bells "

Hunchback of Notre Dame or John Merrick ?

Ulysses G. Star Member

Ulysses G.

Posted
Posted
Not pretending cupcake....I am you and much much more.

Nah mate, you wouldnt want to take me on, 10 years of steriod abuse mate.

Thanks for warning me.

I lke your posts that aren't about cats. :o

Thaifan2 Gold Member

Thaifan2

Posted
Posted

I may be up in Bangkok in about a month or so .I guess the guy will still be there .Must check it out .He may become a tourist attraction

Mobi Diamond Member

Mobi

Posted
Posted

I'm in Bangkok until Sunday, so I might well mosey over and join in the fun.

Does GOM go there on weekends or does he take two days off from his obsession?

Maybe he goes to Pattaya and gets mad when he can't sit under his favorite beach umbrella. :D

(I can't make it until Saturday :o )

MrIrrisistable Senior Member

MrIrrisistable

Posted
Posted (edited)

He would not be a true ocd person if he did not include weekends....right...he would just be a pretend ocd and that would just not cut the mustard in the ocd club.

Edited by MrIrrisistable
tw25rw Platinum Member

tw25rw

Posted
Posted
If only Oz could have got there a few mins earlier it would have been a different story today :-) Tomorrow if he has removed stools from 3 spaces near to him, I will replace them and sit there.

I

Remove all the stools (including his) except one and sit on it.

Naam Star Member

Naam

Posted
Posted
Not pretending cupcake....I am you and much much more.

Nah mate, you wouldnt want to take me on, 10 years of steriod abuse mate.

Ladies scream when they see my guns

you got more than one :o

taxin Silver Member

taxin

Posted
Posted
I forgot to say, this chap wants his place EVERY morning until lunchtime, including weekends. If he can't get it (after the outbursts) he does downstairs to the Salon cafe and comes up on a regular basis to get his seat. If unavailable, outburst. Repeated until he gets his seat.

It's easy to find and at 10am there are very few sit-in customers. But hey, I'm a new regular for a while! tee hee.

Maybe 5 years ago he was meant to meet some girl he met on a Thai dating site, and that he instructed the girl to go to the table next to the coffee machine. He remembers the time but forgot what day he was meant to meet her, and is still hoping that is dream teerak is going to show.

Might explain why he is behaving in such a manner. Just a thought. :o

ashacat Gold Member

ashacat

Posted
Posted

Just to avoid any confusion: definition of "guns" courtesy of urbandictionary.com

Really huge muscles. commonly used as for body builders and football players. also used for people who think they got big muscles but really don't.
tw25rw Platinum Member

tw25rw

Posted
Posted

Might have to form a guard of honour and applaud him as he goes in and out.

I tend to be a creature of habit in a non compulsive way, so understand his irritation if not his behaviour. Hopefully, the rest of you will give a better impression about farangs to the staff than this bloke.

TAWP Star Member

TAWP

Posted
Posted
I forgot to say, this chap wants his place EVERY morning until lunchtime, including weekends. If he can't get it (after the outbursts) he does downstairs to the Salon cafe and comes up on a regular basis to get his seat. If unavailable, outburst. Repeated until he gets his seat.

It's easy to find and at 10am there are very few sit-in customers. But hey, I'm a new regular for a while! tee hee.

Maybe 5 years ago he was meant to meet some girl he met on a Thai dating site, and that he instructed the girl to go to the table next to the coffee machine. He remembers the time but forgot what day he was meant to meet her, and is still hoping that is dream teerak is going to show.

Might explain why he is behaving in such a manner. Just a thought. :D

Sounds like a Hollywood movie, where the girl shows up 10 years later after being through so much to reach him... :o

Andiamo Advanced Member

Andiamo

Posted
Posted (edited)
This guy was thrilled to get his place so all was quiet. However, the sly tool had actually taken away 2 stools from next to him to clear a space so no-one could even sit near him. He made sure his stuff was spread out along the counter-top too. I sat as near as I could and when Oz moved I sat in his place. The guy just reads the paper in ultimate serious mode, and orders very abruptly from the staff. This is a power thing. I left after an hour and went back at 1pm at which time he was gone, obviously satisfied that his mission had been successful.

Love the description!

So this guy will undoubtedly be there earlier every morning. BUT if he hadn't have seen me, someone else could have been in his place before him. It's my understanding that the 1st floor (next to Starbucks) way in opens earlier, so it's possible to get there quicker. At the moment he has no idea that anyone apart from me are onto this, so if several others attempt to get his place each day he will go beserk each time for sure.

I work in Emporium Tower a couple of days a week so this is from my understanding! The entrance from the 1st Floor Tower to the SHopping Mall opens dead on 10am - never earlier! :D So that option is out.

However...... you can take the elevator from the 1st floor car park (entrance to the Tower) which takes you up to the 6th floor (TCDC and Cinema floor), which you can walk across, go down the escalator and come out at the entrance to Ootoya Japanese ressie, take a right, then a right again by Pomodoro and Hey presto! Oriental on the 5th floor! :D AND hopefully the Holy Grail! :D

Not sure what time the elevator goes into action - you may be lucky and find it starts working a few mins before the others :D .....if you get in and press the 6th floor button and it doesn;t get illuminated, it means that it doesn't stop there and it's not working yet.... :o

WOW, the poster who posted about the Mission Impossible theme tune cracked it on the head!

FAB thread!

Edited by Andiamo
CarlBkk Gold Member

CarlBkk

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I work in Emporium Tower a couple of days a week so this is from my understanding! The entrance from the 1st Floor Tower to the SHopping Mall opens dead on 10am - never earlier! :D So that option is out.

However...... you can take the elevator from the 1st floor car park (entrance to the Tower) which takes you up to the 6th floor (TCDC and Cinema floor), which you can walk across, go down the escalator and come out at the entrance to Ootoya Japanese ressie, take a right, then a right again by Pomodoro and Hey presto! Oriental on the 5th floor! :D AND hopefully the Holy Grail! :D

Not sure what time the elevator goes into action - you may be lucky and find it starts working a few mins before the others :D .....if you get in and press the 6th floor button and it doesn;t get illuminated, it means that it doesn't stop there and it's not working yet.... :o

FAB thread!

Mate, you're a genius. Anyone who wants to test my theory turn up there tomorrow, I will be there. The guy in question got there fairly early, well, earlier than me but there were a few other customers milling around, so one entrance must have been opened up. From the car park I occasionally try to enter the Emporium before 10am but security have stopped me although the doors are open, so going up to the 6th may be a good option. Staff are using these lifts to get to work from 9am onwards so it's plausable.

Let's be clear though, this guy WILL from now on, try and get there as early as he can to beat ME. He WILL get very stroppy if anyone gets there before him, not in a directly aggressive way (because he's no meathead) but in a Victor Meldrew way. You will notice him...he has combed back blonde/white hair, glasses, 5'11, shorts and a polo top. Very serious expression. I think he's a stock trader working by phone and feels that people should bend over to accommodate his important needs. His appearance is generally normal, but his reactions aren't. I have seen him go there with his wife, a very petite Thai who he seems to ignore and who seemed too subserviant to comment in the thick of his rudeness.

You need to sit at the window behind the til and by the coffee machine, right up in the corner, but he also went mad if you sit anywhere near there. It's hard for me to get there anytime before 10am but if someone can get there first I'm sure we'll realise who is the protagonist and who is the tool very quickly. It's highly unlikely there will be any other customers sitting down at that time unless they are him or TV members.

ozsamurai Gold Member

ozsamurai

Posted
Posted (edited)

However...... you can take the elevator from the 1st floor car park (entrance to the Tower) which takes you up to the 6th floor (TCDC and Cinema floor), which you can walk across, go down the escalator and come out at the entrance to Ootoya Japanese ressie, take a right, then a right again by Pomodoro and Hey presto! Oriental on the 5th floor! :D AND hopefully the Holy Grail! :o

Now this is the kind of inside intel we need, keep it coming Andiamo!! Duh duh, da da duh....

Edited by ozsamurai
Andiamo Advanced Member

Andiamo

Posted
Posted

Always happy to help if I can! This thread has had me in stitches! :o

Love TaxExile's quote about putting his Tshirt on inside out and the repartee!

Good luck! :D May see you there next week! :D

Boo Star Member

Boo

Posted
Posted

how about just sitting in the seat right next to his but pushing it up closer than normal, do it before he gets there, so he sees his seat is free but he has to squeeze into it if he really wants to sit there :o

Andiamo Advanced Member

Andiamo

Posted
Posted (edited)
However...... you can take the elevator from the 1st floor car park (entrance to the Tower) which takes you up to the 6th floor (TCDC and Cinema floor), which you can walk across, go down the escalator and come out at the entrance to Ootoya Japanese ressie, take a right, then a right again by Pomodoro and Hey presto! Oriental on the 5th floor! :D AND hopefully the Holy Grail! :o

Now this is the kind of inside intel we need, keep it coming Andiamo!! Duh duh, da da duh....

Cheers ozsamurai

Extra bit of intel for those who MAY be considering getting in on the Ground floor Lift at Emporium Suites - Don't waste your time!

"ELEVATOR SAYS NO!" (Little Britain voice) - You need a pass!

:D

Edited by Andiamo
Andiamo Advanced Member

Andiamo

Posted
Posted
how about just sitting in the seat right next to his but pushing it up closer than normal, do it before he gets there, so he sees his seat is free but he has to squeeze into it if he really wants to sit there :o

Great idea Boo. Another strategist, thinking outside the box! :D

pgs Silver Member

pgs

Posted
Posted
Not pretending cupcake....I am you and much much more.

Nah mate, you wouldnt want to take me on, 10 years of steriod abuse mate.

Ladies scream when they see my guns

you got more than one :o

Must have - would get like that from playing with one.

jaiyenyen Gold Member

jaiyenyen

Posted
Posted

I won't be able to sleep tonight!

You remember when you were a kid, and it was Christmas Eve, and you were all excited..............Well thats how I feel now.

I will set the alarm, to make sure I can get to the Emporium in good time tomorrow.

Look forward to seeing a few of you there, maybe we can have a coffee after.

CarlBkk Gold Member

CarlBkk

Posted
  • Author
Posted
how about just sitting in the seat right next to his but pushing it up closer than normal, do it before he gets there, so he sees his seat is free but he has to squeeze into it if he really wants to sit there :o

Boo, he won't do it. That's how all this started...his space was free in the corner but me and my wife happened to be on the next two seats. That was deemed as "his"space!

bino Platinum Member

bino

Posted
Posted

D*mn! This is hilarious. I hardly ever venture downtown, but his would be worth going to see.

However I have obviously led a sheltered life could someone tell me what a wife beater is?

Sleeveless undershirt - associated with beer swilling slobs.

post-18167-1211983496_thumb.jpg

chickenslegs Diamond Member

chickenslegs

Posted
Posted
I won't be able to sleep tonight!

You remember when you were a kid, and it was Christmas Eve, and you were all excited..............Well thats how I feel now.

I will set the alarm, to make sure I can get to the Emporium in good time tomorrow.

Look forward to seeing a few of you there, maybe we can have a coffee after.

If you get there before me - save me a seat...... er, maybe not. :o

ozsamurai Gold Member

ozsamurai

Posted
Posted (edited)

Since I took the motorbike in this morning, I did get turned around in the B2 bike park, shunted from 2 'entrances' marked as staff only, I think I have it sorted now though. If we get enough there and early enough we can fill the whole alcove... but since I have been 'made' like CarlBkk I may be across the way pointing the video.

Edited by ozsamurai
Andiamo Advanced Member

Andiamo

Posted
Posted (edited)

bino

mmmmmm! Not so sure that THE REVERED STOOL would support that guy in your pic.. :o

We may need to have a whip round to purchase a throne complete with crown and red carpet for 'Hisnibs' at Oriental!!! :D

Edited by Andiamo

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