Mighty Mouse Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Thou Shalt Not Drink Bundaberg Rum with Australians as they just can’t handle it. This should be for export only. The only reason Aussies export Bundy to Britain is to show you Poms that there are better things to drink than the luke warm dishwater you Brits call 'lager.' Thou Shalt Not trust any man who calls himself 'Charlie', would Di to sit on a throne and hangs around with queens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurgen Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Thou shalt not expect anyone to hold a door open for you and thou shalt expect no thanks for holding doors open for others Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dotcom Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 (edited) Thou shall not attempt to cross any road or street in the Kingdom without first looking right, left, backwards, forwards, and repeating each at least twice before stepping off the curb, and 5-6 times whilst actually crossing.If thou hast successfully crossed said road, Thou shall remember to do the same before stepping onto the curb, as many consider the sidewalks to be secondary roadways. I like this one. I would suggest also looking skyward in case a rogue helicopter goes out of control. Edited June 20, 2008 by dotcom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sotsira Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Thou shall never believe a single word a thai bar girl ever says especially when the subject is of money or men! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plasticpig Posted June 20, 2008 Author Share Posted June 20, 2008 (edited) Thou shalt not Go to Australian bars after 12 0clock midnight, as all oz people have finished there second bottle of VB beer, and are getting a bit to pissed up, to hold any kind of conversation with. Edited June 20, 2008 by plasticpig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boiledegg Posted June 20, 2008 Share Posted June 20, 2008 Thou shalt not Go to Australian bars after 12 0clock midnight, as all oz people have finished there second bottle of VB beer, and are getting a bit to pissed up, to hold any kind of conversation with. I disagree, if youre ever short of self confidence or feeling a bit down speak to an Aussie after 2 VB's, itll soon make you realise how debonair, sophisticated and intelligent you really are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plasticpig Posted June 20, 2008 Author Share Posted June 20, 2008 Thou shalt not Go to Australian bars after 12 0clock midnight, as all oz people have finished there second bottle of VB beer, and are getting a bit to pissed up, to hold any kind of conversation with. I disagree, if youre ever short of self confidence or feeling a bit down speak to an Aussie after 2 VB's, itll soon make you realise how debonair, sophisticated and intelligent you really are. . Love it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mighty Mouse Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 (edited) Thou shalt not Go to Australian bars after 12 0clock midnight, as all oz people have finished there second bottle of VB beer, and are getting a bit to pissed up, to hold any kind of conversation with. At least you chose a good beer....much better to drink when it is icy cold...that's something the Poms have yet to learn. Second bottle after midnight??? Are you kidding???? Substitute the word "keg" for "bottle." The reason that we Aussies can't hold any kind of conversation with you Brits during a drinking session, is because you Brits become raging soccer hooligans after a few lagers and want to fight all the people who are much shorter than you lot are. Thou shalt not risk your anal virginity in the company of any Brit who sips Twinings English Breakfast Tea whilst his li'l pinky finger is sticking up in the air. Edited June 21, 2008 by Mighty Mouse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plasticpig Posted June 21, 2008 Author Share Posted June 21, 2008 (edited) name='Mighty Mouse' date='2008-06-21 07:49:21' post='2045123']Thou shalt not risk your anal virginity in the company of any Brit who sips Twinings English Breakfast Tea whilst his li'l pinky finger is sticking up in the air. Kind of funny that one, Thou salt not Make jokes about Skippy when in the company of Australians Who are on there Third bottle of VB, (piss water) They kind of get very bent out of shape. Have a nice day, Skip Edited June 21, 2008 by plasticpig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wileycoyote Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 Thou shalt never ask or change (bring the correct amount ,in the first place) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sotsira Posted June 21, 2008 Share Posted June 21, 2008 (edited) Thou shalt avoid riding a motorcycle behind a baht taxi otherwise you will be intoxicated with exhaust pollution Edited June 21, 2008 by sotsira Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mighty Mouse Posted June 22, 2008 Share Posted June 22, 2008 Thou salt notMake jokes about Skippy when in the company of Australians It won't be a joke for long for the Brits, it will be food...Skippy food. Gordon f---ing Ramsay is currently Down Under checking out all the f---ing kangaroos to make some Skippy recipes to serve in his f---ing restaurants. F---ing hel_l !!!! Thou Shalt Not: confuse Upper Class with First, Business or Cattle Class when booking on British Airways. Upper class is a toffee nosed aristorcrat who speaks with a stiff upper lip and a plum in his mouth. "Sadly, Homo superior's inability to breed with the lower classes has lead to a decline in the species' genetic pool. Generations of matching cousin with cousin, Miss Faultleroy-Jones with Mr Jones-Faultleroy, and Prince Charles with a horse, has resulted in a weakening of the species and inevitable distortions in mind and body. So the poor Upper Class Brit has a sad tendency towards drunkenness, silly hats, over inflated egos, and implausibly large estates." Source: UncyclopediA The decline of the British gene pool is the main reason for their inability to produce a competitive cricket team. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agudbuk Posted June 22, 2008 Share Posted June 22, 2008 Thou shalt not walk through a water puddle unless you are sure there is not a hidden open manhole Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juzrelax Posted June 22, 2008 Share Posted June 22, 2008 Thou shalt wear a rubber when engaging in the dance of the horizontal mumbo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsiaCheese Posted June 22, 2008 Share Posted June 22, 2008 Thou shalt not put ice in thine beer, unless thou ist a shandy drinking Aussie <deleted> I always find it hard to get the ice in the bottle. Same problem with the anti-baby pill: keeps falling out... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kurgen Posted June 22, 2008 Share Posted June 22, 2008 (edited) Thou shalt not put ice in thine beer, unless thou ist a shandy drinking Aussie <deleted> I always find it hard to get the ice in the bottle. Same problem with the anti-baby pill: keeps falling out... Try keeping your finger in for an extra few seconds after you shove it up your arse then mate Edited June 22, 2008 by kurgen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
london Posted June 22, 2008 Share Posted June 22, 2008 Thou shalt ask thyself just one question: why am I here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wileycoyote Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Thou shalt smile at every woman under 25 ,but cast thine eyes away from men,women over 25 & kathoy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boiledegg Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Thou shalt make sure to do his visa run on time as the 500bht a day fine could be invested much wiser in Soi 6. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batanha Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Thou shalt never wager on a Connect 4 game against a local lass. Although I can beat the local lasses, I've never seen any other foreigner do so. HINT: Try to get 4 in a row before they do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enyaw Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 (edited) Thou shall not covet thy neighbours bargirl. Edited June 23, 2008 by enyaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mighty Mouse Posted June 23, 2008 Share Posted June 23, 2008 Thou Shalt Not: shake hands with any Thai man who grows his little finger nail long. Reason: Those little finger nails are grown and shaped for a snug fit inside each nostril. They then act as a scoop to dig out all the muck that nostrils hold. If you shake hands with such a person you could end up with this muck all over you...and that's snot funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batanha Posted June 24, 2008 Share Posted June 24, 2008 Thou Shalt Not: Eat fish with red sauce. Especially if you have an open sore in your mouth, or a cut lip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plasticpig Posted June 25, 2008 Author Share Posted June 25, 2008 Thou Shalt not Agree to buy new pick up, when pissed on beer Chang!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plasticpig Posted June 25, 2008 Author Share Posted June 25, 2008 (edited) Thou Shalt not Australians. Edited June 25, 2008 by plasticpig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wileycoyote Posted June 26, 2008 Share Posted June 26, 2008 Thou shalt not: When drunk,Phone your employer & say " I would like to extend my holiday " and then " You should come here !" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batanha Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 Thou Shalt Not: Take a girl that has a deeper voice than you back to your domicile, then complain of @$$ pain the next day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plasticpig Posted June 27, 2008 Author Share Posted June 27, 2008 Thou Shalt Not Take photos of girls down soi 6, then leave them on the Camera/phone for wife to find. (very stupid) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bagwan Posted June 27, 2008 Share Posted June 27, 2008 I like this one.I would suggest also looking skyward in case a rogue helicopter goes out of control. I would suggest looking upward at regular intervals in case of falling farangs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wileycoyote Posted June 28, 2008 Share Posted June 28, 2008 Spin 360 degrees before crossing a road Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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