The Twenty Commandments Of Pattaya

[bkklife]

Thou shalt not feel sorry for any thais who say they don't have money.

[TheWalkingMan]

Thou shall remember when dealing with people of this realm, that truth is the enemy and logic is a menace.

TheWalkingMan

[sotsira]

Thou must never believe that your a handsome man unless thou has plenty of money!

[sotsira]

Thou shall not converse with any female whose adam apple is larger than thy own !

And in addition;

Whos hands are larger than thy own!

Whos feet are larger than thy own!

Whos voice is deeper than thy own!

Whos taller than thy own!

And possibly stronger than thy own!

[boiledegg]

Thou shalt never break the 3 day rule, no matter how sweet, pretty or honest she is!

What is the 3 day rule?

Possibly the most ignored rule in all of Thailand, one must never stay with his lady of the night for more then 3 days as after this it could lead to true romance which will undoubtably be at great financial expense to you.

[chickenslegs]

Thou shall not converse with any female whose adam apple is larger than thy own !

And in addition;

Whos hands are larger than thy own!

Whos feet are larger than thy own!

Whos voice is deeper than thy own!

Whos taller than thy own!

And possibly stronger than thy own!

Or, has a bigger todger than thine.

[enyaw]

Thou shall not baptise thyself in Pattaya Bay.

[plasticpig]

Thou shalt not.

Give your mates phone number to Lady boys for a laugh.

Edited June 17, 2008 by plasticpig

[plasticpig]

Thou shalt not

Get pissed then agree to go to family home up country.

(expensive)

[Kerryd]

Thou shall not attempt to cross any road or street in the Kingdom without first looking right, left, backwards, forwards, and repeating each at least twice before stepping off the curb, and 5-6 times whilst actually crossing.

If thou hast successfully crossed said road, Thou shall remember to do the same before stepping onto the curb, as many consider the sidewalks to be secondary roadways.

[plasticpig]

Thou shalt not

Argue with Mr.Policeman when pulled over for not wearing a crash helmet.

When the Thais go past 5 up on a bike with no crash hermits at all..

Futile and resistance is useless, now get the wallet out..

Edited June 18, 2008 by plasticpig

[kurgen]

Thou shalt not wander more than 100 meters from a toilet after eating Thai BBQ

[Fatdog]

Thou shalt not go down Soi 6

Thou shalt not go down in Soi 6

[plasticpig]

Thou shalt not

Jack off in Thailand, cant do the locals out of a job.

[wileycoyote]

Thou shalt not (when in a state on inebriation) offer to buy :

a) Mildly drunk - ladies drinks all round in the bar

b)Obscenely drunk-a water buffalo

c)Rat-arsed- A beer bar

[retirednavyman]

Thou shalt not

Ring the bell in Go-Go bars ever again, Ouch.

Does that mean buy the house a round if someone rings the bell?

[Mighty Mouse]

Thou shalt not expect the Thai cooks to wash their hands after going to the crapper.

[Mighty Mouse]

Thou shalt not expect mobile phones to be switched off at the movie theatre.

[Mighty Mouse]

Thou shalt not expect total honesty in adding up the beer bar bill or in giving change.

[kurgen]

Thou shalt not expect food orders to arrive together just because they were ordered together

[plasticpig]

Thou shalt not expect food orders to arrive together just because they were ordered together

I like that one. so true.

Thou shalt not

Sit outside st bars in Soi 6. (guys)

Edited June 19, 2008 by plasticpig

[moo9]

G'Day all,

Thou shalt never ever dance on the GoGo Stage!

Thou shalt never ever tell that you are not a tourist!!

Thou shalt never ever trust a traffic red light in Pattaya!

Thou shalt never ever trust in your "friend"!

Thou shalt attend a proper English class after staying 2 yrs or more in Tenglish country!

Thou shalt never ever chose your lady later than 3 am (for obvious reasons)!

Thou shalt never ever use directions on your car or motocyc!

Thou should never expect to be the final winner in bar games!

Thou should not be surprised if the lady in the morning looks much different from last night"s lady!

Thou should never ever promise anything to anyone! (Because at the end you won't keep you promise anyway)

Thou should never ever speak Thai in a Bar!

Thou should link a photo of the girl to her name and number in your phone, as otherwise you will forget her name within 1 day!

Thou should always smile at her and say "You forget me leow?" or "Waz my name honey?"

Thou should never accept a late night invitation of a girl, leading you to a dark and strange karaoke bar in a small strange soi, where you are the only farang!

Thou should never accept any lady's call at 5 or 6 am in the morning!

Wow....still so many things on my mind

[Shotime]

Thou shall not complain of the smell of shit.

[Zpete]

Thou shalt not put ice in thine beer, unless thou ist a shandy drinking Aussie <deleted>

I always find it hard to get the ice in the bottle.

Thou shalt take cap off bottle first.

[chickenslegs]

Thou shalt visit thy physician as soon as the itching starts and not wait until the blisters burst.

[plasticpig]

Thou shalt not

Take Australians to serious in Pattaya, as most come form Maralinga.

[Mighty Mouse]

Thou shalt assist Brits by handing them a cake of soap with a set of how-to-use-instructions.

[boiledegg]

Thou shalt assist Brits by handing them a cake of soap with a set of how-to-use-instructions.

Though shalt read soap instruction no.1 "Never pick up soap in shower if an Aussie is in attendance."

[kurgen]

Thou shalt assist Brits by handing them a cake of soap with a set of how-to-use-instructions.

Though shalt read soap instruction no.1 "Never pick up soap in shower if an Aussie is in attendance."

An Aussie in a shower

They are known to share a sheep dip occasionally but a shower......?

More chance of a frog taking a bath

[plasticpig]

Thou Shalt Not

Drink Bundaberg Rum with Australians as they just can’t handle it.

This should be for export only.