Is It Possible To Be A Faithful Partner In Los?

[eek]

Tbh, for me, I find it strange how someone can see infidelity as something to laugh, joke, or make light about. Seen almost as though it is being just a bit naughty. Like a kid stealing cookies from the cookie jar, or breaking a diet. Rather than something with real consequences.

Edited June 27, 2008 by eek

[TAWP]

To quote the late George Carlin "Men are basically as faithful as their options."

Tbh, for me, I find it strange how someone can see infidelity as something to laugh, joke, or make light about. Seen almost as though it is being just a bit naughty. Like a kid stealing cookies from the cookie jar, or breaking a diet. Rather than something with real consequences.

That is your Christian upbringing talking.

Don't place yourself as the 'righteous' and holder of the only true value or moral stand point.

Edited June 27, 2008 by TAWP

[JOHN2]

Tbh, for me, I find it strange how someone can see infidelity as something to laugh, joke, or make light about. Seen almost as though it is being just a bit naughty. Like a kid stealing cookies from the cookie jar, or breaking a diet. Rather than something with real consequences.

Do you ever lighten up? Not even on a Friday.

Edited June 27, 2008 by JOHN2

[eek]

To quote the late George Carlin "Men are basically as faithful as their options."

Tbh, for me, I find it strange how someone can see infidelity as something to laugh, joke, or make light about. Seen almost as though it is being just a bit naughty. Like a kid stealing cookies from the cookie jar, or breaking a diet. Rather than something with real consequences.

That is your Christian upbringing talking.

Don't place yourself as the 'righteous' and holder of the only true value or moral stand point. <--on my last 2 posts, if you had read them, i mentioned that i did not wish to give a feeling of 'righteousness' or a moralistic stand point. But of course i do have an opinion. Please dont play this card on me, just because I believe in being able to trust and feel secure in a relationship and feel strongly on having respect and consideration for my partner in life.

Some people do come across as though infidelity is just some light-hearted game. I cant feel the same way about that. and..not that it matters really, but im not religious...but yes i suppose their may possibly be elements of my upbringing that helped form my belief in how one should live their life. But, i see it not from a moral viewpoint, but from an emotional one. I am all for open relationships if that is agreed upon.

But well, when it comes down to it, It really is not my business what people do in their personal lives, but I do feel sorry for the person on the receiving end of infidelity. However, the question was posted in a public forum, I found the reading interesting, so decided to share my view also.

Anyway, gorgeous day. Im off to sunbathe.

edited to fix colour in post, so more readable.

Edited June 27, 2008 by eek

[RakJungTorlae]

Tbh, for me, I find it strange how someone can see infidelity as something to laugh, joke, or make light about. Seen almost as though it is being just a bit naughty. Like a kid stealing cookies from the cookie jar, or breaking a diet. Rather than something with real consequences.

Do you ever lighten up? Not even on a Friday.

Friday!!!

don't make me get buck in here!! shorty drop em to the ground like she ain't got manners too much booty for one man to handle when all i need is a one night scandal !!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JOHN2]

''But well, when it comes down to it, It really is not my business what people do in their personal lives''

Well,that's a relief

[telaksslave]

When I was single and married guys told me that they had no desire for another woman, I didn't believe them. I was sure they were liars.

Now that I have found the right woman, FINALLY found the right woman, I have discovered that I have everything I could want and no desire to stray. Either your relationship is right or it isn't.

i totally agree with you, someone with a brain, if your in real love how could you want anybody else, sex with a loving partner is better than any bit of sleazy back street sex

I'm assuming you've place yourself in the demographic "with a brain" which helps with the tenor of the conversation.

There are so many different kinds of people and when you match them up in combinations of two and more it's some factor of 6,000,000,000 that I don't know how many zeros to add. For you maybe these things are true – but they are not necessarily some constant of the universe like gravity. (Which I guess if I were an astrophysicist might be even malleable but that's another subject I know even less about.)

My point is this: take a moment with that oversize cranium of yours and consider that your values and perceptions might not be applicable to all people. There is nothing wrong with your values and perceptions – they are yours and stick by them. I try, like any flawed person, to stay tuned to my true north – and that's a learning process. What I like, where I take pleasure, what the meaning and experience of love is – these are all very personal to me and a journey of discovery to this day. Along the way I have learned not to let other people define what's "the right way". There's a line of people at my doorstep, waiting to evangelize and moralize a point of view and over time what they say to me has become less interesting than wondering their motivations are to say it in the first place.

please dont bother swallowing a dictionary again, then u wont have to waste ur time writing endless sentences that could be said in half a sentence to get ur point over

Edited June 27, 2008 by telaksslave

[Travel2003]

In my circle of friends, 0%.

I can't say about the female halves of the couples, but I know for a fact that the men are not faithful.

How many percent of thai/thai couples would you say are faithful?

I experence the same.

Absolutely all of my Thai male friends frequently come with a girlfriend. They all have wifes and girlfriends already.

The strange thing is that sometimes some of the guys bring along their wifes/girlfriends while some bring their (extra) girlfriend. It always amazes me how it is possible for these guys not to be caught. especially when we know how the gals here talk to each other. Seems to be some sort of a "code" that I was not aware of.

I noticed one of the posters here has a Pinay wife (or was it a girlfriend?). She can most likely confirm that the Pinoys are the same. They love their families and will never ever dream of abandon them. But they cheat at any opportunity.

As the OP stated. A lot of serious people around here.

Many of the posters here forget one important thing. That cheating can happen to the most faithful man in the world. Normally when this happens, he will be extremely ashamed of himself, and asking himself why in the world he did it.

Im 100% sure that many of the puritans here in the Forum have skeletons in their closets.

[expathaimonkol]

Hello everyone.I am Christian faith and I know that cheating is wrong no matter if you are religious or not.it is lying and deceitful and I have also done it myself many times in the past.So I cannot judge.But even though I did it it was still wrong. I think one thing wrong in society is now people do not have courage to say "Yes I did wrong." Everyone makes excuses about whatever they do.I think there is less religion of any kind today as much as before because people do not have balls to face up to when they do wrong.

I also think "open relationship" is like bigfoot or Loch Ness monster. I really pity someone who thinks they will have open relationship with Thai woman.Only thing open will be their head or maybe their back.If there is someone with real open relationship,this means woman doesnt care if man sleeps with other lady because she really rather sleep with otner man.

[bonobo]

When I was single and married guys told me that they had no desire for another woman, I didn't believe them. I was sure they were liars.

Now that I have found the right woman, FINALLY found the right woman, I have discovered that I have everything I could want and no desire to stray. Either your relationship is right or it isn't.

i totally agree with you, someone with a brain, if your in real love how could you want anybody else, sex with a loving partner is better than any bit of sleazy back street sex

I'm assuming you've place yourself in the demographic "with a brain" which helps with the tenor of the conversation.

There are so many different kinds of people and when you match them up in combinations of two and more it's some factor of 6,000,000,000 that I don't know how many zeros to add. For you maybe these things are true – but they are not necessarily some constant of the universe like gravity. (Which I guess if I were an astrophysicist might be even malleable but that's another subject I know even less about.)

My point is this: take a moment with that oversize cranium of yours and consider that your values and perceptions might not be applicable to all people. There is nothing wrong with your values and perceptions – they are yours and stick by them. I try, like any flawed person, to stay tuned to my true north – and that's a learning process. What I like, where I take pleasure, what the meaning and experience of love is – these are all very personal to me and a journey of discovery to this day. Along the way I have learned not to let other people define what's "the right way". There's a line of people at my doorstep, waiting to evangelize and moralize a point of view and over time what they say to me has become less interesting than wondering their motivations are to say it in the first place.

please dont bother swallowing a dictionary again, then u wont have to waste ur time writing endless sentences that could be said in half a sentence to get ur point over

Wow! Criticizing a poster because he can write well-formed sentences and even spell correctly? This is a rough crowd!

I guess I never realized that mastery of English was somehow detrimental!

[RakJungTorlae]

Hello everyone.I am Christian faith and I know that cheating is wrong no matter if you are religious or not.it is lying and deceitful and I have also done it myself many times in the past.So I cannot judge.But even though I did it it was still wrong. I think one thing wrong in society is now people do not have courage to say "Yes I did wrong." Everyone makes excuses about whatever they do.I think there is less religion of any kind today as much as before because people do not have balls to face up to when they do wrong.

I also think "open relationship" is like bigfoot or Loch Ness monster. I really pity someone who thinks they will have open relationship with Thai woman.Only thing open will be their head or maybe their back.If there is someone with real open relationship,this means woman doesnt care if man sleeps with other lady because she really rather sleep with otner man.

Agreed in some ways,

But I have some Thai friends who will just smile and say, mai pen ari

This is a whole different debate.

Besides the Mormans, god doesn’t exist in Thailand .

Edited June 27, 2008 by RakJungTorlae

[Edonista]

These days' being unfaithful is a privilege for the financially better off.

Taking on a minor wife, or having a regular girl to visit in the town and naughty nights out, is expensive and rapidly becoming few and far between for ex pats living here.

In the near future I don't think wives will need to worry about their men straying a field, it's all down to money folks.

Even you can write something wise sometimes.

Anyway, most expats should be able to afford 500baht for a BeachRoad girl short time on an obcasional basis.

[Edonista]

Maybe you are not yet mature enough to have a monogamous permanent relationship..

...and I hope I will never be

[Edonista]

If you want to be single then be single. If not then stick to one. How would you feel if your significant other was cheating on you?

Relieved of some financial burden ?

[Edonista]

eek - that's a bit deep,lighten up girl.

Quite.

I really feel western women just don't understand that human beings are animals. The need for a male to have sex is overwhelming.

If western women maintained their side of the bargain, I'm sure there would be a lot less straying. I won't define what "their side of the bargain" is as we live in heavily censored world, but it doesn't just mean sex.

Spot on. Most cheating is consequence of sex retaining behaviour from wives. If their husbands look elsewhere they just get what they deserve

[Edonista]

Is it possible?

Yes

Is it likely?

definite no for the majority

Is it possible ? Yes

Is it smart ? Surely not

[Edonista]

I only sleep with women who are highly intelligent, well educated, have travelled the world, are fluent in at least three languages and can compose either a sonnet or a sonata. Thankfully there is no temptation at all for me in Thailand. Thailand is the best country in the world for being faithful.

Indeed such women can get a man sleeping very quickly

[ilyushin]

It's an environmental issue. Depends on the environment you and the partner run around in. People have physical needs and they can get out of control. No excuse, just what happens. Me see, Me want!

Once you are over exposed to the instant ability to cop satisfaction, little can be done for you. Only re-locate or eventually pay the price. The partner is also able to be exposed to a nice looking and charming stud wanting to dip in the bags of a horny wife at the expense of the husband and/or a home breaker that nobody knows his/her real name rattles the cages for change. It really is all tit for tat.

Sex is good. Safe Sex is better. Safety, Security and Sex is the best you can do. I will only sleep with another women when I am absolutely sure I am safe. My wife had better do the same.

[roygsd]

Now i do love Mrs John2 but tempatation is so high here i always end up straying and regretting it afterwards.

So,is it possible to stay faithful?

Depends on your definition of the word "Love",.... and more specifically what value you put on it.

I suggest 1000 Baht or so may not be true love...... up to you as the say.

Roy Gsd

[bonobo]

Hello everyone.I am Christian faith and I know that cheating is wrong no matter if you are religious or not.it is lying and deceitful and I have also done it myself many times in the past.So I cannot judge.But even though I did it it was still wrong. I think one thing wrong in society is now people do not have courage to say "Yes I did wrong." Everyone makes excuses about whatever they do.I think there is less religion of any kind today as much as before because people do not have balls to face up to when they do wrong.

I also think "open relationship" is like bigfoot or Loch Ness monster. I really pity someone who thinks they will have open relationship with Thai woman.Only thing open will be their head or maybe their back.If there is someone with real open relationship,this means woman doesnt care if man sleeps with other lady because she really rather sleep with otner man.

Religion is not the issue. Religion teaches us many things are wrong, such as women not being the equal of men, eating pork, drinking wine (some Christian denominations drink grape juice instead of wine for Holy Communion), burning "witches," etc., etc.

On the other hand, most relgions have some sort of "Golden Rule" of doing unto others. I kind of like that. My personal morality is to harm no one.

Now if I am in a relationship where my straying would hurt her, then I would do my utmost not to stray. I am not saying I would be successful, but I would do my best.

But why not get in a relationship where neither one minds if the other has other experiences, or if in fact they enjoy doing this together? When you say there is no such thing as an open relationshp, well, I blame that on lack of experience. There are open relationships, many of them. Not everyone is capable for this, and I understand this. And from my experience, it is the man who usually balks (although many of those same men would cheat if given the chance.)

Having extra-marital sex is not wrong, as you so adamantly put it. That is you pushing your morals on others. If it is wrong for you, fine. I respect that. But there are many different people in the world, all with different views.

I don't want to delve into too many personal experiences, but my first experience with any kind of extra-marital sex was with a couple where the husband had prostate surgery and could not perform in that way. After four years, his loving wife hungered physically for more than he could provide. So trusting me as a nice guy, he asked me to step in and perform for her. He was there during the situation, and surprisingly, theire obvious love for each other put me at ease. Since most men put an enormous weight of their self-worth and self-esteem on their sexuality, for a man to ask someone else to do this, well, I think this is a very telling indication of the depths of his love for her.

Edited June 27, 2008 by bonobo

[roygsd]

One night with Venus and enternity with Pluto.

Pleased to see you left Uranus out of your travels

roy gsd

[expathaimonkol]

None of this discussion is surprising.However ,God is in Thailand and everywhere else.I am not a missionary,and the man is right saying this is not a religious discussion per se.But if one guy can say there is no God in Thailand,then I can say there is.Noone can win this argument as who has the proof,one way or the other.As far as open relationship or whatever,if one wants this deal then feel free.I guarantee somewhere and sometime you will be sorry.This is not something I say from lack of experience,as I have had this experience which was a mistake.And I am also not an animal.I am a human being.If I wanted to get into some juvenile debate about sexual history I could pretty much match anyone but this is Thai Visa Forum notn Penthouse Forum.

[bina]

diks are like guns or rottweilers.... they have to have someone pull the trigger, unzip the pants or train to attack... what, your dik just jumps up and opens up the door???

bina

[Super Hans]

None of this discussion is surprising.However ,God is in Thailand and everywhere else.I am not a missionary,and the man is right saying this is not a religious discussion per se.But if one guy can say there is no God in Thailand,then I can say there is.Noone can win this argument as who has the proof,one way or the other.As far as open relationship or whatever,if one wants this deal then feel free.I guarantee somewhere and sometime you will be sorry.This is not something I say from lack of experience,as I have had this experience which was a mistake.And I am also not an animal.I am a human being.If I wanted to get into some juvenile debate about sexual history I could pretty much match anyone but this is Thai Visa Forum notn Penthouse Forum.

Erm, what are you talking about?

[medoraman]

I am sad so many men think that all men cheat, and do not believe anyone who tells them otherwise. I was married for ten years, I travelled all over the world for business including Thailand and other "female available" locations, and never considered cheating. I am not holier than thou either, but like someone else said do not put yourself into a situation where you would have an overwhelming temptation to cheat. I know Thai women are beautiful, but if you do not hang around the most tempting locations, do not ever be alone with a woman, and you can avoid it.

Sounds more to me that some people are justifying their own cheating by saying everyone does, and calling anyone who disagrees a liar. Learn to deal with your own guilt, don't try to drag everyone else down with you.

[Dustoff]

None of this discussion is surprising.However ,God is in Thailand and everywhere else.I am not a missionary,and the man is right saying this is not a religious discussion per se.But if one guy can say there is no God in Thailand,then I can say there is.Noone can win this argument as who has the proof,one way or the other.As far as open relationship or whatever,if one wants this deal then feel free.I guarantee somewhere and sometime you will be sorry.This is not something I say from lack of experience,as I have had this experience which was a mistake.And I am also not an animal.I am a human being.If I wanted to get into some juvenile debate about sexual history I could pretty much match anyone but this is Thai Visa Forum notn Penthouse Forum.

Erm, what are you talking about?

I couldn't quite make that one out either but then English is not necessarily the first language of many of our members and it is only fair to take that into consideration, yes? What is a Penthouse forum..?

[Dustoff]

I am sad so many men think that all men cheat, and do not believe anyone who tells them otherwise. I was married for ten years, I travelled all over the world for business including Thailand and other "female available" locations, and never considered cheating. I am not holier than thou either, but like someone else said do not put yourself into a situation where you would have an overwhelming temptation to cheat. I know Thai women are beautiful, but if you do not hang around the most tempting locations, do not ever be alone with a woman, and you can avoid it.

Sounds more to me that some people are justifying their own cheating by saying everyone does, and calling anyone who disagrees a liar. Learn to deal with your own guilt, don't try to drag everyone else down with you.

Okay, I have been trying to be the quiet observer here but this one..

"Do not ever be alone with a woman"?? Good grief man, if you are alone and a woman appears, does MelodramaMan run screaming from the room to escape Witchy Woman (raven hair, ruby lips - Eagles)?

My conviction is that a healthy relationship expands the growth and experiences of each partner, not demands that each close their eyes to the fact that the other half of our species even exists!

But then, what the hey, most of the masses seek leaders, even supernatural beings, someone/anyone to control them and determine their path in life. As my wife says, "Everyone is different."

Also related to your post, it has been my experience that when someone says, "I am not holier than thou, but",

you can bet that there is a lot of pontificating to follow, and, sure enuf...

Edited June 27, 2008 by Dustoff

[Valjean]

A good tip I learned from one marriage counselor was to ignore everything said before the “but…” and pay particular attention to what comes next.

[bonobo]

I am going to place my confidence in a multitude of scientifically conductd surveys on sexuality and the issue of fidelity. All show that in Western society (US, Canadian, and European studies), approximately 85% of both married men and women will stray at least once in their lives. SOrry, but I am going to give that more credence than the multitude of posters here who profess never to have strayed (posters who perhaps have significant others who also read TV?)

Now posters here are not a scientifically valid statistical population. It could be that there are a very evangelically faithful few here who are driven to post in greater numbers than their percentage in the population at large would lead one to expect. But at first glance, it seems that half of the male posters here (at least who I assume to be male) do not stray beyond the bounds of their current relationship. And I am sorry, but I don't buy that. That goes against every single study done on the subject.

Whether you think sex outside the marriage is fine if both people accept it, if you think it is fine if you keep it a secret, or if you think it is a sin, the fact of the matter is that a majority of the people will do it. And if you are in the 15% of people who don't stray, and if that makes you and your partner happy, then all the more power to you.

I personally think there has been a lot of posturing on this board. And I am remind of "he who doth protest too much...." Regardless, the pontificating and preaching from those who profess never to have strayed is moving beyond the sublime.

For me, I do experience sex outside my relationshionship with full acceptance and usually with the participation of my partner. I appreciate her for many reasons, but her views on sexuality happen to coincide with mine. Our views on other subjects are equally or more important in our getting along together. If we ar happy, it is not up to others to tell us we are wrong, expecially when I detect a hint of Carrie Nation Syndrome amongst some of the other posters.

[expathaimonkol]

The Penthouse Forum is a forum like this one,only in Penthouse magazine,where people lie about their sexual exploits,much like this one.

Why would someone bother to lie about being faithful in an anonymous forum.I can see lying about it if you sign your name,but why lie if it is anonymous?as far as all these studies about infidelity and cheating,there are many studies,all saying different things.Anyone can show some study which proves whatever point that they wish to prove.As far as the deal about everyone does it so it is okay,maybe this just means hel_l is crowded.This whole argument reminds me of something I read about pedophiles.It said the internet made child molesting more prevalent because sicko perverts can get on internet and find other sicko perverts to make them feel like they are okay.I am not saying here cheating on wife is as bad as baby rapers.I am just saying it is a similar argument.