Ex Wants Me To Have Our Child

[pashonfroot]

My ex girlfriend has recently rung me and has asked me to return to thailand and take our son back to England.

He has a British birth certificate so there would be no problem getting a passport for him. But I really need to cover my ass here. The legal process of sole custody rights can take as long as 3 months and I don't have the funds for a 3 month trip (let alone being lumbered with my ex. - she is violent). I just want a quick in out job (I know its Thailand but no pun was intended!). Can this be done? and how would I cover myself against cries of abduction?

Pashonfroot

Edited July 25, 2008 by pashonfroot

[Tigs]

contact the UK immigration services or the British Embassy in BKK. Getting a passport for your child should be fairly simple. You will need his birth certificate and two photo's. How did he get to Thailand without a British passport (as he has a british birth certificate?). You will need to get a letter signed by your wife in both english and Thai, stating clearly her request for you to take care of your son in England (get it witnessed by a Thai lawyer of YOUR choosing). Spend as little time as possible in Thailand, especially in her company if you are concerned about her behaviour. Be polite/ gracious if you can saying that you will take good care of him and she is always welcome to come and visit him (don't tell her it will be at her expense etc). Is your mum/family able to help you with the enourmity of this task? If your ex GF wants you to take care of him, please do not abandon him. He might be a little inconvenient pain in the arse now, but he will turn out to be the best/most important thing that ever happened to you. I do not understand the problems with sole custody rights. He is your child, has a brit birth certificate, does he have your name? Do whatever of the process you can by mail, fax etc. You do not need to be in Thailand for three months. I remember with my daughter it was a piece of doddle to get a passport. Just get two recent photos sent to you, his original birth certificate (you can get a copy at the registrars pffice), fill in the paperwork, and hey presto, 14 days later, one passport, with which you can take your son back to england (providing you have his original method of entry document in to Thailand, which i am guessing is a thai passport). Good luck, keep us posted! He could be back in time for christmas!

[pashonfroot]

Thanks for your quick reply.

I really have no intention of abandoning him (he doesn't like the heat - he sweats profusely). As he was born in Thailand I think I will need a Thai passport to get him out of the country.

As for the British passport isn't there a requirement for someone in a professional position to have known us for 2 years? How do I get round this issue?

[Tigs]

Hi pashonfroot

Good to hear from you about the little fella. I often call my little girl a 'London Girl' , but she does not seem to suffer to much with the heat, and contrary to Thai popular belief, the rain does not kill her, if i am out for a walk in such conditions and do not run home/in to shelter with her at the first fall of water.

The professional is someone back in the UK/British who has known you and can say that it is your child. Almost anybody you know these days can fulfil this position (it is almost anyone in a full time job). How does he have a british birth certificate? Are you registered with a doctor in the UK? that should do, especially with a birth certificate

There is some useful info on this thread

Edited July 25, 2008 by Tigs

[haybilly]

contact the UK immigration services or the British Embassy in BKK. Getting a passport for your child should be fairly simple. You will need his birth certificate and two photo's. How did he get to Thailand without a British passport (as he has a british birth certificate?). You will need to get a letter signed by your wife in both english and Thai, stating clearly her request for you to take care of your son in England (get it witnessed by a Thai lawyer of YOUR choosing). Spend as little time as possible in Thailand, especially in her company if you are concerned about her behaviour. Be polite/ gracious if you can saying that you will take good care of him and she is always welcome to come and visit him (don't tell her it will be at her expense etc). Is your mum/family able to help you with the enourmity of this task? If your ex GF wants you to take care of him, please do not abandon him. He might be a little inconvenient pain in the arse now, but he will turn out to be the best/most important thing that ever happened to you. I do not understand the problems with sole custody rights. He is your child, has a brit birth certificate, does he have your name? Do whatever of the process you can by mail, fax etc. You do not need to be in Thailand for three months. I remember with my daughter it was a piece of doddle to get a passport. Just get two recent photos sent to you, his original birth certificate (you can get a copy at the registrars pffice), fill in the paperwork, and hey presto, 14 days later, one passport, with which you can take your son back to england (providing you have his original method of entry document in to Thailand, which i am guessing is a thai passport). Good luck, keep us posted! He could be back in time for christmas!

Just to add--whilst in no way suggesting that you don't proceed with your plans--please, be sure that you can either take care yourself, have family back up or a new/child loving partner in your life--I have had 'custody' of my 6-plus year old daughter for about 3 years and do not have any help whatsoever--it's a very difficult task. My little girl has both Thai and Brit pp's and has been with me, last year, to UK--I have managed to renew both pp's , after the initial 5 years expired, without my ex-wife being present but it was tedious and viewed as 'unusual' by Thai officials processing the Thai paperwork [ no such hassles from Brit authorities]--however, on a daily basis I am reminded that this is not the norm, for a farang father to be sole 'guardian'/parent of a 'Luk Kreung' child here in LOS--I would gladly relocate to Blighty if the labour/socio-economic etc..scene there wasn't in such a nosedive at this moment--this is my plan, though, as this country is not one to make things easy for single male parents.

Just realised that this goes no way towards answering any of your queries--apologies--maybe I just needed to rant for a minute!

[JOHN2]

Can i ask,if he was born in Thailand how come he has a British birth certificate?

[pashonfroot]

Can i ask,if he was born in Thailand how come he has a British birth certificate?

He has a British birth certificate because his father (me) is British. Rules have changed recently allowing unmarried fathers to register their children.

The professional is someone back in the UK/British who has known you and can say that it is your child.

As the child has always been in Thailand it's going to be a tad difficult to get someone in the UK to say the child is mine! I need someone in Thailand to say they know me and and can say the child is mine - this presents a bit more of a problem!

Just to add...etc etc

Thanks for the rant. I think you'll find there are quite a few foreigners looking after their child on their own in Thailand. Met a guy in Pattaya, said he was 71 (looked more like 41) and he was looking after his 6 year old daughter by himself. Mind you, he did say he would rather not and was only looking after her because the mother was not interested.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask HM Gov to look after me and my son, at least until he has started school. I'm sure that statement will bring in a number of flames from people. But hey, I have earnt and lost a fortune and have paid a huge amount in taxes and national insurance.

[Acomes2Siam]

Just get a room on the ground floor during your stay in Thailand.

[pashonfroot]

Just get a room on the ground floor during your stay in Thailand.

Took me a few seconds to work that one out. But you are right. She is a dangerous woman. A smiling lovely girl one second and a violent thug the next. Even towards her own children. She has a daughter whom she often hits and calls her a buffalo. I wish I could take her out of harms way as well.

It does terrify me that she will try to harm our child and put the blame on me.

[haybilly]

Can i ask,if he was born in Thailand how come he has a British birth certificate?

He has a British birth certificate because his father (me) is British. Rules have changed recently allowing unmarried fathers to register their children.

The professional is someone back in the UK/British who has known you and can say that it is your child.

As the child has always been in Thailand it's going to be a tad difficult to get someone in the UK to say the child is mine! I need someone in Thailand to say they know me and and can say the child is mine - this presents a bit more of a problem!

Just to add...etc etc

Thanks for the rant. I think you'll find there are quite a few foreigners looking after their child on their own in Thailand. Met a guy in Pattaya, said he was 71 (looked more like 41) and he was looking after his 6 year old daughter by himself. Mind you, he did say he would rather not and was only looking after her because the mother was not interested.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask HM Gov to look after me and my son, at least until he has started school. I'm sure that statement will bring in a number of flames from people. But hey, I have earnt and lost a fortune and have paid a huge amount in taxes and national insurance.

Well, that would make another interesting/boring topic for TV [ strike out whichever doesn't apply]-i.e. how many farang are living in Thailand and are the 'sole' carer for the child[ren]--without a 'Pi Liang', new partner, etc. I would beg to disagree that there are 'quite a few'--you've met one, you say, I certainly know one [self] but that's about it--I have met a few, single figures, who have got custody and a new missus; I hope my 'rant' didn't annoy--I was just trying to 'forewarn' that the situation is far from desirable.

HM Gov. is going to take care of you both--I guess that means you've got zero collateral in UK--I only say this as I had considered the option but was told that, until I was without any savings/shares etc..the Gov. would not give me any assistance--am I wrong?

I repeat, I am not trying to antagonise or annoy--just trying to give some first hand.

EDIT--Re: Child has Brit. Birth Cert.---do you mean she has a Thai Birth Cert. translated into english and registered with Brit. Embassy--or. does she have a genuine Brit. Birth Cert.?--I am interested for my daughter's sake--as hers is just the usual Thai one trans'ed and reg'ed with Embassy.

Edited July 26, 2008 by haybilly

[haybilly]

Just get a room on the ground floor during your stay in Thailand.

Took me a few seconds to work that one out. But you are right. She is a dangerous woman. A smiling lovely girl one second and a violent thug the next. Even towards her own children. She has a daughter whom she often hits and calls her a buffalo. I wish I could take her out of harms way as well.

It does terrify me that she will try to harm our child and put the blame on me.

I'm not totally sure that's what the poster was referring to--possibly the spate of jumpers around Pattaya--just guessing--hope I'm wrong.

[pashonfroot]

Well, that would make another interesting/boring topic for TV [ strike out whichever doesn't apply]-i.e. how many farang are living in Thailand and are the 'sole' carer for the child[ren]--without a 'Pi Liang', new partner, etc. I would beg to disagree that there are 'quite a few'--you've met one, you say, I certainly know one [self] but that's about it--I have met a few, single figures, who have got custody and a new missus; I hope my 'rant' didn't annoy--I was just trying to 'forewarn' that the situation is far from desirable.

HM Gov. is going to take care of you both--I guess that means you've got zero collateral in UK--I only say this as I had considered the option but was told that, until I was without any savings/shares etc..the Gov. would not give me any assistance--am I wrong?

I repeat, I am not trying to antagonise or annoy--just trying to give some first hand.

EDIT--Re: Child has Brit. Birth Cert.---do you mean she has a Thai Birth Cert. translated into english and registered with Brit. Embassy--or. does she have a genuine Brit. Birth Cert.?--I am interested for my daughter's sake--as hers is just the usual Thai one trans'ed and reg'ed with Embassy.

Not annoying at all! He has a Thai birth certificate and a British birth certificate. You just nip along to the embassy with a translated copy of the Thai birth certificate, your birth certificate and your partners id. And voila! But this has to be done within a year if you are not married. Else it's at the embassy's discretion. (i.e. have they received there latest pay increase and pension hike plus perks and free accomodation plus company car and free sky train travel pass).

HM gov will look after you provided you have no shares or savings of more than 3 grand. You can own a property but you must be living in it.

Having worked as a teacher in Thailand I did see a few foreigners come to pick up their kids but I never saw the mums. So I made an assumption.

[sylviex]

The title brought an image of a farang male with a greatly protuding abdomen .

Hope you don't mind the levity. Good luck. Keep other people you trust around the kid, if possible.

[pashonfroot]

The title brought an image of a farang male with a greatly protuding abdomen .

Hope you don't mind the levity. Good luck. Keep other people you trust around the kid, if possible.

I realised my 'mistake' a few seconds after posting. Couldn't re-edit the title. Oh well, brings a few chuckles

[roygsd]

HM Gov. is going to take care of you both--I guess that means you've got zero collateral in UK--I only say this as I had considered the option but was told that, until I was without any savings/shares etc..the Gov. would not give me any assistance--am I wrong?

I repeat, I am not trying to antagonise or annoy--just trying to give some first hand.

Hi, many people who are entitled to claim Income support/ousing Benefit/Council Tax fail to do so because they have been mislead to belive that they are not entitled to anything.

There is a sliding scale of savings/shares in respect for claims for Income support and the bar is set at £16000.

There is also a sliding scale in respect of eligibility for other benefits like Housing benefit/Council Tax which I suspect will not be dissimilar to the criteria for Income Support.

There is a legal jdgement which confirms that a uk citizen returning to live in the uk from WITHIN THE EU after a lengthy period of being settled in another EU country must be considered as permenatly residing in the uk from the time of arrival back in the uk.

This is not always the case with UK Citizens who have been permenantly residing in a country that is not part of the EU.

It seems that any uk citizen with limited funds that had been permanantly residing in a NON EU country could not be prevented from entering and take up permenant residence in spain or any other EU for a brief period and then return to the uk thus ensuring their eligibility to apply for benefits if they should need them.

I am not advocating breaking any laws, simply doing what politicians do with regularty, which is to bend them as far as possible in order to achieve their objectives whilst not actually guilty of breaking any laws.

Roy gsd

Edited July 26, 2008 by roygsd

[roygsd]

Just get a room on the ground floor during your stay in Thailand.

Took me a few seconds to work that one out. But you are right. She is a dangerous woman. A smiling lovely girl one second and a violent thug the next. Even towards her own children. She has a daughter whom she often hits and calls her a buffalo. I wish I could take her out of harms way as well.

It does terrify me that she will try to harm our child and put the blame on me.

I'm not totally sure that's what the poster was referring to--possibly the spate of jumpers around Pattaya--just guessing--hope I'm wrong.

From personal experience I would go further and suggest a ground floor room WITH LARGE OPENING WINDOWS AND NO SECURITY BARS FITTED TO THEM.

The woman ( UK citizen but could be any country) in the situation I am refering to set fires in several locations in the apartment and deliberately leaving her two young children in a 3rd floor attic room wich was no wider than 6 inches.

Fire is often the easiest option for mentally ill people to do harm to others.

The kids survived and the mother was sectioned under the mental health act and has been released but the kids are now permenantly in the care of their grandmother and the mother has supervised access only to her two daughters .

Roy gsd

Edited July 26, 2008 by roygsd

[MonkeyHouse]

Just get a room on the ground floor during your stay in Thailand.

Took me a few seconds to work that one out. But you are right. She is a dangerous woman. A smiling lovely girl one second and a violent thug the next. Even towards her own children. She has a daughter whom she often hits and calls her a buffalo. I wish I could take her out of harms way as well.

It does terrify me that she will try to harm our child and put the blame on me.

I'm not totally sure that's what the poster was referring to--possibly the spate of jumpers around Pattaya--just guessing--hope I'm wrong.

Well do they jump? or are they pushed?

[haybilly]

Just get a room on the ground floor during your stay in Thailand.

Took me a few seconds to work that one out. But you are right. She is a dangerous woman. A smiling lovely girl one second and a violent thug the next. Even towards her own children. She has a daughter whom she often hits and calls her a buffalo. I wish I could take her out of harms way as well.

It does terrify me that she will try to harm our child and put the blame on me.

I'm not totally sure that's what the poster was referring to--possibly the spate of jumpers around Pattaya--just guessing--hope I'm wrong.

From personal experience I would go further and suggest a ground floor room WITH LARGE OPENING WINDOWS AND NO SECURITY BARS FITTED TO THEM.

The woman ( UK citizen but could be any country) in the situation I am refering to set fires in several locations in the apartment and deliberately leaving her two young children in a 3rd floor attic room wich was no wider than 6 inches.

Fire is often the easiest option for mentally ill people to do harm to others.

The kids survived and the mother was sectioned under the mental health act and has been released but the kids are now permenantly in the care of their grandmother and the mother has supervised access only to her two daughters .

Roy gsd

Hi Roy gsd--sorry to sound like an idiot--but I really am considering all options to return to UK--do you mean 16K salary or savings? Also, are you suggesting that a non-res UK citizen who returns from 'outside' EU is treated differently than one coming home to roost from within EU--guess that figures, tax etc.. paid within EU and so on??? So, not wishing to encourage illegal activities either--a person would be wise to consider a brief sojourn inside another EU country b4 a full-blown return to Blighty? A difficult scenario with a young child in tow--not so foot loose and fancy free these days.

Thanks, any input gratefully, etc..

EDIT--tried to reply to the post above this one--but kept on getting--'the number of opening closing tags does'nt tally, or something--so I gave up trying--sorry for misleading reply.

Edited July 27, 2008 by haybilly