- You think giving a cab driver a 20Bht tip is excessive

- You Wai at your parents when you visit home

- You know no actual real foreigners here, just their TV names...

- When you see a bunch of Thai guys laying the boot into a foreigner and you sprint through the traffic across a busy road to stick it to the bast*rd as well.

You convince yourself that Heineken is a world class beer.

Farang food excites you.

You get excited about saving 4 baht on a pack of 42 count diapers.

you've been paying personal income tax to the thai government for 13 years and are perfectly content with the paving quality of the sidewalks.

You stop at the bottom of the escalator in MBK to plan your next move, and think nothing of it.

You go to use a sit down toilet somewhere and get really angry that they have toilet paper, but no bum gun!

- when you go away to south of Thailand & Bangkok and complain of being too "black" when you come home. (actually did that last week )

- you know of at least 50 ways to cook bananas

- you think its normal to see 10 people on a motorbike

- when you have to think hard what the word is in English but know it in Thai

- when you only know how to feed yourself if you have a wok

- when you can actually anticipate what all the maniacs on the road are about to do

- when you eat farang food you find yourself digging into someones steak or spaghetti as you assumed it was shared

when you find using your mother tongue is "rude"

You pick your nose in public without a second thought

You have at least three "hot exhaust pipe" burns on your legs. (I've got just the one )

When you start to understand your Thai wife / girlfriend.

You know your girlfriends full name

You put ketchup on your pizza

You put ketchup on your pizza

You like ketchup on your pizza....

- you prefer to eat on the floor.

- white women start to look exotic (but i still think they are unattractive)

- you pass the police car as if it were standing still without concern for consequence.

- you don't know where else to pay your bills except for 7-11

- you start fusing thai food into westernfood (green curry burger, nam prik sandwich)

- you start using whiting soap because you couldn't find anything else at the store.

- you think nothing of drinking your beverage out of a bag.

- you pop your pimples in public in your motorcycle mirror just after picking your nose.

- you let ignorance slide much more than you would in the west (they are just thai, not stupid)

- allow yourself to play the ignorance card with no fear of repercussions.

- you battle your way to the front of the line when someone is trying to cut in front of you and feel victory when you beat them.

You have at least three "hot exhaust pipe" burns on your legs. (I've got just the one )

That's "Thai Birth Mark"

You visit the west and when they ask do you want fries with that, you say CRAP!

You can loud slurp your noodles and pick your nose in public AT THE SAME TIME.

You have at least three "hot exhaust pipe" burns on your legs. (I've got just the one )

That's "Thai Birth Mark"

i burned myself twice in the same spot within a week. The second time was done before the other had healed and left a real mess on my leg.

You think nothing of leaving food out on the counter all night / day. Then eating it.

You think nothing of leaving food out on the counter all night / day. Then eating it.

i still think about it but do it anyway.

- you prefer to eat on the floor.

- white women start to look exotic (but i still think they are unattractive)

- you pass the police car as if it were standing still without concern for consequence.

- you don't know where else to pay your bills except for 7-11

- you start fusing thai food into westernfood (green curry burger, nam prik sandwich)

- you start using whiting soap because you couldn't find anything else at the store.

- you think nothing of drinking your beverage out of a bag.

- you pop your pimples in public in your motorcycle mirror just after picking your nose.

- you let ignorance slide much more than you would in the west (they are just thai, not stupid)

- allow yourself to play the ignorance card with no fear of repercussions.

- you battle your way to the front of the line when someone is trying to cut in front of you and feel victory when you beat them.

Think this is the most appropriate list and quite funny .

You have a meeting with the very organized EU based budget director and finance department folks and you show up late. Then, when you are asked how much will be needed for the X project in 2009, after shuffling through papers and not finding what you need, you reply "up to you", while giving a toothy grin.

When you go to the Lotus around 18:00 and join the outdoor aerobic class for just ten Baht.

Or maybe even better, stand on the side from a distance and try to replicate the moves but without paying the ten Baht.

When you change your shoes before driving your car.

When the only reason you can come up with for wearing a helmet on your motosaai is: "Because police, have to pay 100 Baht if not do"

You see no problem at all why it could be dangerous driving a car before or after finishing a botlle of Lao Kao.

You feel the latest PM is a great guy that comes up with simple solutions for complicated problems.

You can eat Som Tam Plaa Ra with 16 chillies.

You are surprised they eat dogs in the West as well (Hot Dogs).

- You have a special pocket in your jeans for the 100Bht tea money.

- you know the best way to kill mozzies is with a tennis racquet

...you can't wait until your favorite Thai soap is playing on the television.

.....you actually understand your favorite Thai soap and believe it is true life.

.......you actually think nothing about taking a few mangos from your neighbors tree or perhaps a few fish from his pond.

..........you casually roll down your car window and toss out all your trash.

.............you will eat any insect found in your garden and actually like them.

................you get four of your best friends together, arm in arm, and see how slow you can walk down the sidewalk or in the mall.

...................you can drink two bottles of Thai whiskey and still want more.

......................when some of your best friends work at the Immigrations office.

You pass a car thats already passing another car an think its normal

You turn left at a corner on your motorbike without looking or stopping

You have no concern for vehicles on the road behind you and even remove your mirrors

- your reactions to ridiculous driving situations are exactly what the Thais are expecting

- you talk to your USA relatives on the phone, and when you do not hear something they say, your response is, "ahlae naah?"

- you answer every phone call with, "Hello khrap"

- the bar ladies do not shout "Hello hansum man" at you

- you remember when the shoeshine girl around Sukhumvit Soi 4 was just a little girl

- seeing white lights on the rear of a vehicle does not catch you by surprise

- you slow down as you approach the U-turn spots on the "big road" regardless of whether you see any vehicles there or not

- you have 2 100-baht bills in the same wallet slot as your operators license

- your cell phone SIM(s) have been through the laundry at least once

- you are irritated if you have to ask for prik naam plaa

- it makes your day just a bit better if you can use the expression "som nuum naah" in context

- TV goes down for half a day and you realize you have a garden.

- TV goes down for half a day and you realize you have a garden.

Better said, 'TV goes down for half a day and you realize you have a family'...