Ignored By Thais At Work

[lifeisrandom]

eat your lunch at akane they will be more friendly

[Sunderland]

Multinational company in London (roleplay)

Bob: Hey Sushimoto, wanna go and grab some lunch with me?

Sukimoto: My name is Sukimoto.

Bob: Yeah, yeah ... whatever. How about Deco's curly-wurly of a free kick against Chelsea yesterday? It was blinding mate! Certainly knocked the wind out of Wigan's sails, didn't it! As for the Hammers, they took a right hiding!! Must have been sick as a cageful of parrots after that stuffing!! Hahaha.

Sukimoto: Sorry, I have limited English. I don't understand.

Bob: Forget it me old China. You just enjoy playing with your chinky-winky chopsticks and I'll chatter on to myself. (Wish, I hadn't bothered. Bloomin' foreigners ...)

Sukimoto: ????????

........ try speaking Thai and see what happens ... you might be surprised.

[mikehunt]

It would be in the interest of the Thais to verbally interact with the OP purely as a way of networking and climbing the slippery pole to promotions.

Does seem strange that a westerner would go to lunch for an extended period of time when they felt highly uncomfotable.

[Samuian]

eat your lunch at akane they will be more friendly

will a noodle stall do, or only subway up...?

[kiakaha]

eat your lunch at akane they will be more friendly

i didn't know food was on the "menu" at akane

[lifeisrandom]

nothing stopping you from brining a snack

[h90]

I've been working at this company for about six months, and there are two of us farang here.

Every day our Thai colleagues go for lunch, asking us to join them. Of course, that's nice. Sometimes we eat at the office cafeteria, and other times we go outside to shops or restaurants around the place. Each time we *always* sit in the same group. I found it strange at first, but now I can see they are just more comfortable socialising with those of the same work 'status'.

Anyway, on this particular table there are about 5-8 of us at any particular time. What I find completely strange is that none of these people - my colleagues that is - have made an attempt to talk to us farangs. They just chatter away in Thai. This has been going on for like 6 months now!

I wouldn't be so offended if I knew that they couldn't speak English, but I know they can. In fact, half of them have even been university educated in the West (not that that necessarily means they have fluent English skills), but I have talked to them enough to know that they do speak very good English.

Now I speak another language besides English. When I'm speaking that language, and my English-speaking friends are around, I will do my best to translate back and forth. But I will never ignore a guest, a new person or a friend by choosing not to speak their language.

It doesn't seem to bother the other farang, but on occassion we to talk to each other to break the boredom. On occassion I have thought about going somewhere else for lunch, but I'm sure they will be offended no-end by that.

Is this rude or just another Thai cultural *cough* idiosyncracy I will have to get used to?

I am thinking of breaking the silence today, and asking them what they talk about everyday....

be happy! For me the ones with the best english tried to seed wrong informations, tried to gain some advantages in job over their workmates.

[lifeisrandom]

i heard that farang get paid more than thais and do less work and are usually incompetent and often hung over

maybe thats why

[gymshark]

i heard that farang get paid more than thais and do less work and are usually incompetent and often hung over

maybe thats why

Hey ! Leave the English teachers out of this !

[MrHammer]

Thais are reluctant, even shy, to speak English to each other - they feel it's pretentious and "showing off".

If one of them starts a conversation with you in English, all other contributors to the conversation will be obliged to speak English too, even when they address each other on the subject.

Imagine for a moment how you would feel if there was another Farang present but you had to speak to him in Thai?

Patrick

If you think that, you should visit Foodland when the girls are restocking shelves. I lurked nearby for a couple of minutes one day listening in amazement at how well they were speaking english among themselves .. "work talk", not showing off their english.

Thais who are serious about maintaining their fluency in english will converse with each other in english.

Most of my Thai friends are fluent in English. When we were first getting acquainted, they basically did the same thing, all conversations in Thai.

The first instance of my personal rebellion came when one fried asked, "Are you having a good time?"

Me: "Oh, hel_l yes! What more could I want than to sit for 2 hours listening to a conversation I don't have a clue about?"

Phase 2: After awhile, I would get up and start to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"Somewhere where I understand what is going on?"

When I'm invited socially, especially to someone's home, those Thai who are reluctant to try their english don't usually cause a problem for me, because understanding required no "confidence". The wife of a close friend is fluent in written english (she corrects his Thai to english certified translations), but she is very reluctant to speak even a few words. I speak as much Thai to he as I'm capable.

Now my friends mostly speak english when I'm in the group. They do understand that it is rude to linguistically exclude a friend, and will sometimes say, "Pardon me wile I talk to him in Thai. I need to talk to him something and don't know how to say it in english."

yep thats how its done

[steveromagnino]

subjects tried by me:

sport

olympics - thai's wieghtlifting gold medal

football - european cup

music

downloaded thai karaoke (limited sucess, but ultimately rejection)

music on tv in restaurant

politics

pad protests (limited success)

work

relationships

best practice

food (ad nausia)

'what's this called, etc?'

'this is nice...' 'aroi maart...'

buddhism

importance of going to the temple

being a monk (i used to be one)

language

'how do you say this...' etc.

A word of advice. There are 3 subjects that most people don't mention over food - sex, politics and religion. You should definitely not be talking about these three, and my guess is your Thai level is definitely not good enough to do so politely in Thai; your english may be good enough but then it starts to sound pretty threatening as for most Thai people, they would never discuss any of these subjects in english (even the Yale educated ones). Best to steer clear of commenting on royalty as well, as it is highly likely that in Thai you don't know how to address royal related issues, plus of course it is a subject fraught with difficulty.

BTW, it is a fact that not all Thais are Buddhist.

The rest of your subjects would hold interest for me perhaps once, after that, I would rather you kept quiet, talk to your farang mate, or let the rest of us actually talk about something interesting. You can participate by listening, and perhaps commenting on something that you know about or something amusing.

My own guess is may not speak Thai nearly as well as you think, or perhaps are not that humurous, but you think that your Thai ability is enough to hold court in a conversation. And my further guess if you actually can speak ok Thai is that they think you understand what is going on, and consider your role to be a listener as perhaps you are not the right type of personality to hold fort and launch into amusing rants for the good of the table. Incidentally, most of the time in English or Thai ,with a group of 4 or more, I tend to play this part of the listener, as I don't like to hog the limelight. Nothing wrong with that. If everyone talks, then no one listens. Some people listen better than others; incidentally if you want to speak Thai.....spend a lot of time listening.

You sound quite bitter, and therefore will fit in well with many of the other posters taking this conversation issue as a great insight into why Thailand is or isn't a success on the world stage. Having spent time in Japan, Korea and Hong Kong, it might surprise many that plenty of business conversations will swing almost straight away into the local lingo, with no translation provided as long as there are 2 same language speakers; the assumption being; those guys can talk to eachother, and we can talk to eachother. Hebrew ditto. In fact my Norwegian mates and even Swedish etc happily do it too; so long as they see I have someone to talk to myself.

Having seen countless wives of westerners sitting next to their husbands, while their husband talks english at high speed to another westerner with skant regard to their wives, and the wives talk to eachother/on the phone/sit there trying to follow/sit there looking bored/sit there picking their nose and analysing set output with considerable scientific interest I cannot really feel that any of this is rude, reflective of Thailand's competitive advantage or most of the other opinions put forth. It is just about people enjoying some conversation that is fun over their dining.

So in summary if by yourself, yes, a bit rude MAYBE not to at least try to include you a bit in the conversation IF you have reason to be there and are by yourself and cannot speak any Thai. But as long as there is another english speaker there (which in many of the other stories regaled above there are not) and if you can speak/understand Thai, then you aren't being excluded are you! And if you are being invited daily, then perhaps best to start not going if you aren't enjoying it; otherwise makes it sound a bit like the stereotypical 'whinger' that is the life and soul of every good farang get-together.

This is their time off; THEIR time too, not 'time to teach that farang guy Thai AGAIN in my lunchhour when I could be enjoying it with my friends hour'

And as for the excuses about why not to learn Thai, I think every expat that can speak Thai has heard every reason why 'I wanted to learn Thai, but the Thais don't want me to know/they won't speak it to me/etc etc' Learn it for your own enlightenment or quit and stick with english. But don't try to externalise it. You either want to learn it or not, and I would not let a few people over lunch break your resolve. If you are already multilingual, then it should be a lot easier than for someone who has never spoken a tonal language.

[aehn]

both of us farang are learning thai.

they only try to speak to us in thai, in fact. i.e. gin arai ka, duum arai krup...

perhaps you misread what i said previously....

they all speak *very good* english. they use it to converse with clients every freaking day.

There is several reasons why they might not choose to speak english with you. And i am just giving you one plausible reason, but there are many.

Anyways, for example, it might so simple as they feel it is a little bit of an effort to speak english with you all the time, rocking back and fourth and try to translate for you, breaking up the normal dialogue flow. Sure on specific occasions they might enjoy doing that, but doing it everyday, will just take some more effort from all parts to make it work. Not sure if they are willing to do that.

[plachon]

The Thai seem not to have any concern at all whether someone feels excluded. Again, not because of rudeness, simply because it doesn't cross their mind. There is no social concern for anyone other than Thai. A result of a closed society I'd think.

I have been here 20 years and I find the exact opposite.

Thais almost always try to include us and make us feel welcome even when it is a pain in the butt for them. I have had this happen over and over again in different circumstances and it had nothing to do with money.

That one of the reasons that I love to live here. I almost never feel lonely.

I have to wonder what you are doing to get such a different reaction than most foreigners that I know.

This is both my personal experience and my observations of Thais interacting with other farang in all but the most hardcore tourist areas, where commercial interests have totally overidden traditional Thai values in meeting and greeting "kaek dang prataet" or certain anomalous areas like large parts of southern Thailand and new moo baans where the residents live behind prison-like walls or condos. (Although sadly, these "anomalies" of Thai society are rapidly changing from the exception to the norm).

Thais have both the krengjai (considerate to other's feelings and not intentionally wanting to hurt them) and sanuk (looking for fun) part of their culture, which means individuals sitting or walking alone are fair game to be invited into a group to help them feel less lonely, whether in or out of work situation. However, I dare say the drudgery of modern day work environments (which the OP mentions) means that while it is still the norm to invite the stranger/foreigner into your lunch group, it is hard to make the effort to actually talk to them in their language and as the OP says, any conversation in Thai, the native language, is bound to be a superficial, minute-long affair.

But out of work, in a strange town or location, it is still easy and possible to walk or sit alone and strike up conversation with Thais and end up having a whale of a time, and sometimes making long-term friends (or even partners for life!), though being conversant in Thai language is usually the key.

[aehn]

P.S please don’t call me Rak. --.--

maybe Tilac is better

[aehn]

When I taught English in the remote province, I was occasionally asked to join the Thai teachers of English for lunch. They usually chatted in Thai and let the farang talk among ourselves. Most of their conversation in English was "this food is spicy" and "this food is aroi." When we tried to talk about work, we got no responses. Often, at work or at lunch, our questions went unanswered. It taught me that even educated Thais who are fairly good at English are not comfortable having discussions in English. They do not seem to converse about subjects in English that a farang would discuss: current events, politics, Mayan temples, Texas weather, sports, Greek festivals, German food....you name it. When I have met foreigners at home, abroad, or in Thailand, I am curious to know what it is like to live there, but I find no such curiosity among most Thais. The few who are curious are Thais who are not accepted by other Thais for one reason or another.

I do not get it. Since I speak no Thai, I have no idea what they discuss, but I doubt it is deep, advanced, nuanced, or abstruse. Of course, I have no idea. I suggest that you not let it bother you, do not let it affect your relationships with your coworkers, and just get used to that gap in communication while working on your Thai language.

You say you are curious, intellectual, and implying that thais are not usually curious, not so intellectual etc, how come you cant speak thai, and yet, you have lived here for probably more than one year?

[aehn]

I wouldn't be so offended if I knew that they couldn't speak English, but I know they can. In fact, half of them have even been university educated in the West (not that that necessarily means they have fluent English skills), but I have talked to them enough to know that they do speak very good English.

Lunch is THEIR time, they are already being nice by inviting you. There is no element of rudeness, they probably believe that if you wanted to speak with them, then you should do so in Thai (which obviously I agree with) and if you want to speak english, well you have your friend there.

For most Thai people, Thai language is ideal for having fun, gossiping, enjoying life, especially if the workplace is mostly english.

I think this is pretty universal, most people feel they are most comfortable speaking the language they handle the best, be it, english, danish, or russian.

[myauq]

subjects tried by me:

sport

olympics - thai's wieghtlifting gold medal

football - european cup

music

downloaded thai karaoke (limited sucess, but ultimately rejection)

music on tv in restaurant

politics

pad protests (limited success)

work

relationships

best practice

food (ad nausia)

'what's this called, etc?'

'this is nice...' 'aroi maart...'

buddhism

importance of going to the temple

being a monk (i used to be one)

language

'how do you say this...' etc.

A word of advice. There are 3 subjects that most people don't mention over food - sex, politics and religion. You should definitely not be talking about these three, and my guess is your Thai level is definitely not good enough to do so politely in Thai; your english may be good enough but then it starts to sound pretty threatening as for most Thai people, they would never discuss any of these subjects in english (even the Yale educated ones). Best to steer clear of commenting on royalty as well, as it is highly likely that in Thai you don't know how to address royal related issues, plus of course it is a subject fraught with difficulty.

BTW, it is a fact that not all Thais are Buddhist.

The rest of your subjects would hold interest for me perhaps once, after that, I would rather you kept quiet, talk to your farang mate, or let the rest of us actually talk about something interesting. You can participate by listening, and perhaps commenting on something that you know about or something amusing.

My own guess is may not speak Thai nearly as well as you think, or perhaps are not that humurous, but you think that your Thai ability is enough to hold court in a conversation. And my further guess if you actually can speak ok Thai is that they think you understand what is going on, and consider your role to be a listener as perhaps you are not the right type of personality to hold fort and launch into amusing rants for the good of the table. Incidentally, most of the time in English or Thai ,with a group of 4 or more, I tend to play this part of the listener, as I don't like to hog the limelight. Nothing wrong with that. If everyone talks, then no one listens. Some people listen better than others; incidentally if you want to speak Thai.....spend a lot of time listening.

You sound quite bitter, and therefore will fit in well with many of the other posters taking this conversation issue as a great insight into why Thailand is or isn't a success on the world stage. Having spent time in Japan, Korea and Hong Kong, it might surprise many that plenty of business conversations will swing almost straight away into the local lingo, with no translation provided as long as there are 2 same language speakers; the assumption being; those guys can talk to eachother, and we can talk to eachother. Hebrew ditto. In fact my Norwegian mates and even Swedish etc happily do it too; so long as they see I have someone to talk to myself.

Having seen countless wives of westerners sitting next to their husbands, while their husband talks english at high speed to another westerner with skant regard to their wives, and the wives talk to eachother/on the phone/sit there trying to follow/sit there looking bored/sit there picking their nose and analysing set output with considerable scientific interest I cannot really feel that any of this is rude, reflective of Thailand's competitive advantage or most of the other opinions put forth. It is just about people enjoying some conversation that is fun over their dining.

So in summary if by yourself, yes, a bit rude MAYBE not to at least try to include you a bit in the conversation IF you have reason to be there and are by yourself and cannot speak any Thai. But as long as there is another english speaker there (which in many of the other stories regaled above there are not) and if you can speak/understand Thai, then you aren't being excluded are you! And if you are being invited daily, then perhaps best to start not going if you aren't enjoying it; otherwise makes it sound a bit like the stereotypical 'whinger' that is the life and soul of every good farang get-together.

This is their time off; THEIR time too, not 'time to teach that farang guy Thai AGAIN in my lunchhour when I could be enjoying it with my friends hour'

OK *deep breath*

- We are all English speakers. I think you mean 'native' English speakers.

- Not everyone in Thailand is Buddhist. Yes, but the people I am talking about are.

- At an internationally oriented, medium-sized Thai company I would expect my colleagues to speak to me about politics (as they did, so that was well judged by me. it was not like i said 'thaksin's a right <deleted>, you don't support him do you?'; i just said, what's going on in the city with all the protests?)

- Regardless of my Thai fluency (or lack thereof), I've spoken to them in both English and Thai.

- 'I can participate by listening'. Yes, is six months long enough...?

- They are not mutual friends, as most of them have all their for less time than I have

and, for the second time...

- The other farang isn't my friend, they just stick us together because it makes them feel uncomfortable mixing us up between them

I can't believe you would subject yourself to such humiliation, just so you can claim some cultural capital in forums like these and say 'how I understand Thai people more than you'. Stuff that for a game of soldiers.

[aehn]

The idea that they should ruin their own lunch by having to converse in english just to satisfy you seems to me to be asking way too much; I certainly never expected that the housekeepers should stop speaking spanish on the few times i sat with them in the States for lunch,

But i understand the OP´s problem, but yeah, the OP cant expect them to speak english when 99,9% of the people are non-native english speakers, it is simply too much to ask for. Certainly not on a daily basis,

[Tod Daniels]

Are you sure they just can't understand what you are saying. .. ...

You're obviously writing in some obscure form of english but even with english as my mother tongue I can't understand you most of the time.

BACK ON TOPIC

It's all water under the bridge now, as the O/P ventured out into the great wide open on his own during lunch and was not immediately cast out, nor been made a pariah (any more than foreigners in a predominantly thai workplace usually are).

I stand by my original statements that thais are conditioned in being polite out of brainwashing rather than out of any inherent desire.

Do what you want, they're only co-workers, NOT relatives, and have no bearing on you either positively or negatively evidently.

It also seems from the statement the boss made asking about where the other workers were, that they were "asked" (polite for being TOLD to do something) by the boss to include you so you didn't feel left out.

Glad you ventured out on your own. ..

[myauq]

addendum

i note that when we go out they are very uncomfortable when i talk with the working-class locals, who are a bit more playful than they are. like they try and stop me interacting with them, in an effort to protect me from the uncooth hoards.

i don't experience these problems elsewhere, just at work, which strikes me as wierd because these people all have superior english skills than other thais i usually encounter/ interact/ chat with. obviously much less fun too

[madjbs]

you really are stupid aren't you, toddy.....

bitter, bigoted, racist, miserable, rubbish, stupid old moaning farang

Understand that?

[steveromagnino]

OK *deep breath*

- At an internationally oriented, medium-sized Thai company I would expect my colleagues to speak to me about politics (as they did, so that was well judged by me. it was not like i said 'thaksin's a right <deleted>, you don't support him do you?'; i just said, what's going on in the city with all the protests?)

- Regardless of my Thai fluency (or lack thereof), I've spoken to them in both English and Thai.

- 'I can participate by listening'. Yes, is six months long enough...?

- They are not mutual friends, as most of them have all their for less time than I have

and, for the second time...

- The other farang isn't my friend, they just stick us together because it makes them feel uncomfortable mixing us up between them

I can't believe you would subject yourself to such humiliation, just so you can claim some cultural capital in forums like these and say 'how I understand Thai people more than you'. Stuff that for a game of soldiers.

You do know i am Thai right???? Well half Thai. I'm trying to give you the opinion from the other people at the table. Politely.

Like i said, Thai people generally don't talk about 3 subjects over lunch for the most part and certainly not in great depth; sex (except in gossip about Prem etc), religion, politics. I don't really care what level they are, hel_l I don't really talk about these subjects with any of my past workmates/bosses and I can guarantee being that one of them was one of the families affected by the ban in the 111, and another client was a former Deputy PM that if anyone wanted to talk politics it would be that lot.

Listening is not a matter of how long; it is whether you have something interesting to say, and I don't mean asking people tons of questions in a forlorn attempt to engage them. I hope this is not what you do in english or Thai, it would fairly unexciting to the listeners. Some people are good conversationalists, others are not.

I know the other farang is not your friend, but that is how the social circle is perceived; any time two farangs go out with their Thai wives, it is often assumed (at least by me looking on/another in the group) that the two wives are expected that 'they can speak Thai, so it is now ok for us to speak english/german/dutch/wateva since they have someone to talk to'. You are in the similar position; surely as two english speakers, you two can chat, and if you were talking about something interesting, I think you'd find the rest of the group start to want to talk.

Just because they speak english at a high level, it doesn't necessarily mean that they enjoy it. I love speaking Thai for certain subjects, but speaking it say to describe construction or legal terms or even to summarise the plot of Family Guy, is something I just struggle to do because it doesnt' come nearly as naturally as using english; whereas english is worse (for me) when describing a soap I saw, talking about Thai music, emotional stuff happening at work or gossiping about people in a fun way.

Who knows, maybe all the people you work with are twits. I probably wouldn't have kept eating with them after the first time, but ah well.

And Tod, much as I usually completely disagree with most of what you say, I think you are right on the money in your last post ;-)

[bendix]

I think tod is right. They asked the OP out because their boss told them to. Nothing wrong with that - happens all over the world.

Most likely they didnt want the farang with them at lunch. I hardly blame them. Reading his posts, I don't think I would want to have lunch with him either.

[aehn]

I've been working at this company for about six months, and there are two of us farang here.

Every day our Thai colleagues go for lunch, asking us to join them. Of course, that's nice. Sometimes we eat at the office cafeteria, and other times we go outside to shops or restaurants around the place. Each time we *always* sit in the same group. I found it strange at first, but now I can see they are just more comfortable socialising with those of the same work 'status'.

Anyway, on this particular table there are about 5-8 of us at any particular time. What I find completely strange is that none of these people - my colleagues that is - have made an attempt to talk to us farangs. They just chatter away in Thai. This has been going on for like 6 months now!

I wouldn't be so offended if I knew that they couldn't speak English, but I know they can. In fact, half of them have even been university educated in the West (not that that necessarily means they have fluent English skills), but I have talked to them enough to know that they do speak very good English.

Now I speak another language besides English. When I'm speaking that language, and my English-speaking friends are around, I will do my best to translate back and forth. But I will never ignore a guest, a new person or a friend by choosing not to speak their language.

It doesn't seem to bother the other farang, but on occassion we to talk to each other to break the boredom. On occassion I have thought about going somewhere else for lunch, but I'm sure they will be offended no-end by that.

Is this rude or just another Thai cultural *cough* idiosyncracy I will have to get used to?

I am thinking of breaking the silence today, and asking them what they talk about everyday....

I don't know what you're on about. I once spent the weekend with a Dutch friend who had been living in the UK for over twenty years, and the whole weekend not one of them spoke English, even though they're all fluent. One of the longest weekends of my life.

When my friends buddy from the US came over to my home country we immediately started to speak english with him, but after a while as time went on, we tend to forget it more and more, after a while we just filled him in with some details every now and then, but i am sure he was really bored most of the time.

[steveromagnino]

I think tod is right. They asked the OP out because their boss told them to. Nothing wrong with that - happens all over the world.

Most likely they didnt want the farang with them at lunch. I hardly blame them. Reading his posts, I don't think I would want to have lunch with him either.

That's all right mate, most people would not want to have lunch with you me included.

You would probably just sit there speaking Russian, drinking vodka and sending people to the Gulag.

Complete lack of cultural sensitivity when you could be speaka da engrit, drinking Bud and send people to that happy camp in Gautanemo Bay or whatever that place is called that Americans like.

On the other hand, as they say Stalin might not be fun for lunch but he is a right hoot for a drink after work; right up there with the Hitlers. So long as we avoid sex, religion and politics of course.

[p_brownstone]

addendum

i note that when we go out they are very uncomfortable when i talk with the working-class locals, who are a bit more playful than they are. like they try and stop me interacting with them, in an effort to protect me from the uncooth hoards.

Ahaa – new and revealing details!

Thais are very socially conscious – well aware of the differences between the classes and determined to maintain them.

By entering into banter with “playful” ………… “working class locals” you are effectively demeaning your own status and, by association, that of the Thais who invited you to join their group. Your poor Thai language abilities mean that you cannot understand the innuendos and hidden meanings these “playful” individuals use in their conversations with you, most of which will embarrass the people who invited you to their lunch party.

I admit it’s a common mistake by Westerners inculcated with the idea that “we are all equal” but it does not apply in Thailand.

Patrick

[aehn]

You expect them to speak English to you.

They don’t want to speak English to you, cuz this’s Thailand

You don’t want to learn enough thai to be able to converse in their already on going “thaily” discussion, whatever that is, but you want to be included

Now you think they have the problem, but not you too?

You don't want to get it, it's about the host, why not make the move as they CAN speak English, why not to include them?

They don’t want to speak English to you, cuz this’s Thailand

is rubbish!

Tell me that if Russian airplane approaches Thai airspace and the pilot is asking for landing procedures the Thai air control employee will go: "ha, ha! You must speak Thai with me because you are now in Thai air space!" ?????????

Or in a resort/hotel the staff will welcome the holiday makers with "You will all be addressed in Thai and will have to order and converse in Thai ONLY because you are in Thailand now!" ?

Get real!

Gee, what is wrong with people, not sure if i am gonna laugh or cry after this post

[MrHammer]

You do know i am Thai right???? Well half Thai. I'm trying to give you the opinion from the other people at the table. Politely.

Half thai? Wouldnt you be more seated at the middle of the table then?

Like i said, Thai people generally don't talk about 3 subjects over lunch for the most part and certainly not in great depth; sex (except in gossip about Prem etc), religion, politics. .

I dont know if this is a surprise, but talking sex, religion and politics is taboo in most countries over lunch. Not special for thais. That and talking about salary or how fat your coworkers wife is.

Though i used to work with a guy who loved telling everyone at lunch about the women he was "doing", how when were. One time he disgusted the boss so much he slammed the door shut! Good times! Also once an argument broke out about Israel with the israeli working for us holding his ground. None of this caused shamed faces or bad will. Truth be told, in the west the topics for discussion are just more, bitching about the boss is a favourite past time, brings people together you know?

Sports(with guys), what you did/going to do this weekend, who youre going out with, the hot girl in HR, who drank the last coffee, how to slack off without getting noticed. Those are regular topics, OP feel free to borrow.

[MrHammer]

Thais are very socially conscious – well aware of the differences between the classes and determined to maintain them.

By entering into banter with "playful" ………… "working class locals" you are effectively demeaning your own status and, by association, that of the Thais who invited you to join their group. Your poor Thai language abilities mean that you cannot understand the innuendos and hidden meanings these "playful" individuals use in their conversations with you, most of which will embarrass the people who invited you to their lunch party.

I admit it's a common mistake by Westerners inculcated with the idea that "we are all equal" but it does not apply in Thailand.

Patrick

Agreed. But if you tell the poor sods to "fuc_k off before you have them beheaded", i doubt that will go over well too.

[toptuan]

Farangs in Thailand are such hypocrits. I would like to see what people would say to a Frenchman in the U.K for example, who requested everyone to speak French at lunch so he could understand better. Or perhaps some indian imigrants who request for everyone to speak Hindi at lunch so they can have an easy chat.

Yeah, but what if all the Brits were professors of French, and 5 Frenchman were in their midst? And it was a teacher's meeting? And half the Frenchmen didn't speak a word of English because they were new?

That's my situation, and the Thais still refuse to speak any English. Now what's your omniscient advice for these rude colleagues? Face it, Thais in general are quite socially backward in such international situations.