Death - What Should I Do?

[koheesti]

My landlady's mother passed away last weekend. I haven't seen my landlady since but expect to soon. What's the proper way of offering condolences after a death in the family? Is there anything I should say, not say? Anything special to give?

[skippybangkok]

My landlady's mother passed away last weekend. I haven't seen my landlady since but expect to soon. What's the proper way of offering condolences after a death in the family? Is there anything I should say, not say? Anything special to give?

Send a reef ( not sure how to spell it - the circle of flowers thing ) to the Wat where she is. Attend the evening session at the temple. She will typically have 3 to 7 days lying there where visitors show up and participate in the prayers.

[Andrew Hicks]

My landlady's mother passed away last weekend. I haven't seen my landlady since but expect to soon. What's the proper way of offering condolences after a death in the family? Is there anything I should say, not say? Anything special to give?

Send a reef ( not sure how to spell it - the circle of flowers thing ) to the Wat where she is. Attend the evening session at the temple. She will typically have 3 to 7 days lying there where visitors show up and participate in the prayers.

Nice idea sending a wreath... maybe to the house. Money's also appreciated as a funeral is expensive... and they'll probably put the rent up.

What to say depends on language. I always get Cat to coach me on my Thai for this sort of moment. Sia jai, kit theung maak and that sort of thing.

Life... nobody gets out alive anyway!

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Anything special to give?

Money; basically the same model as for marriages and new-house parties. Just showing up will be appreciated, if you spot a bowl with envelopes then ask for an envelope and put some money in to cover the costs of the funeral party.

[Wandering]

Don't wear certain colors of clothing.

I think purple is one of them.

[PoorSucker]

http://www.thaiworldview.com/bouddha/ceremon6.htm

[Mosha]

Don't wear certain colors of clothing.

I think purple is one of them.

Anything with either mainly black or white is the norm.

[bkkmick]

Say "Se-ah Jai Douay" when you meet her. It's like condolences.

[qwertz]

Avoid it at all costs.

A quote from Groucho Marx: "I'm not afraid of dying, so long as I'm not there when it happens".

[ralfbkk]

I don't want to be impolite but in this case there is not much you need to do unless you were really close to the landlady and her mother. I would talk to the landlady and extend your condolences. You do not need to do anything else, unless you are real good friends with them or related.

Edited September 7, 2008 by ralfbkk