From: "why Those Beautiful Thai Women Fall For Us,farang

[gburns57au]

I'm not a Black Widow Spider, I'm just a strong woman that needs a strong man.

And why is that Kat???? Think deeply now

[Pudgimelon]

....So although the example that you have given is possible, it is not done in well- designed and well-presented research....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It wasn't intended to be well-designed or presented, it was just a "back of the napkin" rough sketch to illustrate a point.

If it's an example, then you just committed the same bias in representing stats that you are refuting.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes, I know I did. That was the point I was illustrating.

[kat]

gburns, burns, gburns ....... did you say this:

" But lets face it....like their western counterparts they want the best deal they can find, someone who will love them and someone who can support them. One of the first 5 questions any woman will ask upon meeting a man is "what do you do for a living?"...... you can almost bet that if she calculates that she earns more than you or that you have little prospects, she will be chatting to the next guy up the bar."

I think you did, burnsie

I took the opportunity to generalize my comments about cows beyond you, especially to the many on this board who love to repeat that mantra at any given or ungiven opportunity

But you are very right on one thing: we all search for our partners based on our NEEDS and desire. Needs and desires just happen to vary, which was also my point

edit

Edited December 14, 2005 by kat

[Pudgimelon]

Hey Pudgi, have you got any stats to back that claim up with     

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is the closest thing I could come up with:

The CDC website puts the divorce RATE at about 50% or so, but it's important to note that RATE has a very specific meaning in statistics, and it certainly does not mean that 50% of individuals who get married get divorced.

There isn't much on their website about how individual marriages fair, but I did find these quotes:

After 5 years, the probability of a first marriage ending is 20 percent...

After 10 years, the probability of a first marriage ending is 33 percent...

Approximately 2 percent of [all] married couples divorced in 1990...

Still big numbers, but not even close to 50%.

I don't know what you can infer from these quotes other than the number of individuals who get divorced is less than the divorce RATE.

Edited December 14, 2005 by Pudgimelon

[kat]

I'm not a Black Widow Spider, I'm just a strong woman that needs a strong man.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

And why is that Kat???? Think deeply now

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

And why don't you tell me, deep thinker

[kat]

Hey Pudgi, have you got any stats to back that claim up with     

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is the closest thing I could come up with:

The CDC website puts the divorce RATE at about 50% or so, but it's important to note that RATE has a very specific meaning in statistics, and it certainly does not mean that 50% of individuals who get married get divorced.

There isn't much on their website about how individual marriages fair, but I did find these quotes:

After 5 years, the probability of a first marriage ending is 20 percent...

After 10 years, the probability of a first marriage ending is 33 percent...

Approximately 2 percent of [all] married couples divorced in 1990...

Still big numbers, but not even close to 50%.

I don't know what you can infer from these quotes other than the number of individuals who get divorced is less than the divorce RATE.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks Pudgi.

[gburns57au]

I'm not a Black Widow Spider, I'm just a strong woman that needs a strong man.

And why is that Kat???? Think deeply now

And why don't you tell me, deep thinker

Yes I did say that....it was the result of a survey into the dating scene held a few years ago in the US, dont ask me to post it, I didnt get it off the net. The first 5 questions by men involved one concerning the girls family or in other words, did she come from a fertile family. Sad to say that when I read this result, it made me think and after thinking about it, It was exactly true.... That has always been one of the first questions I get asked when I meet a girl in a pick up situation. Whether I am wearing a suit and tie or shorts and a T shirt.

Well seeing as you didnt qualify on what level you need a strong man that leaves some latitude.

However my question to you was "why".....you stated that you an independant woman who could live by her own means....then you make the comment that you need a strong man...I was merely asking for a "please explain".

[kat]

oh, was it a question? It seemed as if you had me all summed up.

Well, since I now suspect that you don't really want my answer, because you have yours, I'll tell you this:

My answer lies in the fact that you inherently see independent woman and strong man as a contradiction. Why is that? think deeply now ......

edit: or perhaps I give you too much credit. Perhaps you think it's a contradiction for an "independent" woman to want or need any man; but here's the point: I said STRONG man. Comprende?

Edited December 14, 2005 by kat

[britmaveric]

oh, was it a question?  It seemed as if you had me all summed up.

Well, since I now suspect that you don't really want my answer, because you have yours, I'll tell you this:

My answer lies in the fact that you inherently see independent woman and strong man as a contradiction.  Why is that?  think deeply now ......

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Perhaps cliche but I think its rather true......

Behind every strong man is a strong woman or conversely Behind every strong woman there is a strong man.

[kat]

Maybe, but equally if not more true: strong women more often stand alone.

[zzap]

But it is inherant in human beings that generally women will look for someone who can provide for them, Men on the other hand look for someone to continue the bloodline with. As civilised as we are, we are still tribal deep down.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's your opinion, and it is an easy generalisation to feel comfortable within a world which is complex and full of people who do not fit your generalisation.

Sorry, I can't agree with you, perhaps it's more important and accurate what people say about themselves, than what you like to think they are...

[Mighty Mouse]

True, but he tried to make it seem like the other points of his argument were provable facts as well when, in fact, they are just his opinion as well.

Aren't most of the posts in this forum (not just this thread) people's opinion?

Are you suggesting that we shouldn't state an opinion, we should only state facts?

This forum would become so boring if that happened.

Would it have been clearer to you had I put the words "my opinion only" somewhere in my post?

Blind Freddie could see that the points that I made could only be my opinion. It would be impossible to find facts on those issues.

Edited December 14, 2005 by Mighty Mouse

[Mighty Mouse]

1. Statistics indicate that about 50% of all marriages end in divorce. 

Ugh, not this again.

In other words, 50% of marriages may end in divorce, but that does NOT mean that 50% of the PEOPLE getting MARRIED get divorced.

I posted this example before, but it looks like you guys need a refresher:

Take 10 marriages. Five of them get married and stay married forever, but the other five are just a couple of the same people getting married multiple times. So yes, 50% of the marriages ended in divorced, but only 41% of the PEOPLE getting married experienced a divorce.

Your point is well taken as is the full example you posted.

My one liner did not refer to the number of people involved in divorce, it refers only to the actual percentage of divorces per marriages.

I had no involvement in compiling this statistic, I just referred to it. I did not state anywhere in my post that I accepted this figure as being 100% accurate, I just used it as a basis for stating my opinion. I did not mention Thailand either.

You, and some of the other posters who are upset with these statistics, may note that I used the words "about 50%." Actual numbers may go slightly either way.

[thaivisitor]

1. Statistics indicate that about 50% of all marriages end in divorce. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Ugh, not this again.

In other words, 50% of marriages may end in divorce, but that does NOT mean that 50% of the PEOPLE getting MARRIED get divorced.

I posted this example before, but it looks like you guys need a refresher:

Take 10 marriages. Five of them get married and stay married forever, but the other five are just a couple of the same people getting married multiple times. So yes, 50% of the marriages ended in divorced, but only 41% of the PEOPLE getting married experienced a divorce.

Your point is well taken as is the full example you posted.

My one liner did not refer to the number of people involved in divorce, it refers only to the actual percentage of divorces per marriages.

I had no involvement in compiling this statistic, I just referred to it. I did not state anywhere in my post that I accepted this figure as being 100% accurate, I just used it as a basis for stating my opinion. I did not mention Thailand either.

You, and some of the other posters who are upset with these statistics, may note that I used the words "about 50%." Actual numbers may go slightly either way.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I hope you didn't misunderstood me.

At no time was I challenging your statements in anyway. I was only clarifying.

Just for your information, I also saved those links and information as who knows, I may be able to use them in other discussions, forums, etc.

I just wanted to be sure that whatever I presented, I must be aware of whether it is facts or opinion as I had been "bombarded" before in other discussions on other subjects.

I also thank you for your time and patience in clarifying, providing the links, etc, etc. Thank you.

[Mighty Mouse]

Thaivisitor,

No worries, mate.

I didn't regard your original post as a "challenge" to my thoughts, and I don't think less of anybody if they do want to challenge me.

It's all part of the enjoyment of participating in a forum.

For me, controversy, challenge, mild anger and accusations creates interest. It can bring out the best and worst in people and gives you a better understanding of the person with whom you are communicating.

I trust whatever it is that you take from these posts is useful to you.

[girlx]

as you said you said....they must have ambition or some sort of prospect in life....

would you marry a guy who only wants to work in a factory all his life....I think not.

You want someone who aspires to something more as you yourself have said.

yes but the difference between me and a golddigger is that i want a man to get the most out of his life for HIMSELF- i don't see him for what he can give me. i could never date a man who does nothing with his life because it would just depress me constantly to be around someone like that. i want to be with someone who is alive, who grabs his life by the balls. it has nothing to do with money- i can make my own. it has nothing to do with what he can give me in the future. i believe a relationship is best when both people are individuals and following their individual passions, but are companions. i can't respect someone who latches onto me or sits around all day watching tv. i prefer someone intelligent with some ambition.

i think most thai women probably feel the same. you can not deny that a large bankroll is an attraction to them- their economic status might be much lower than mine and they may not have the luxury of making their own money for support. however if you were to ask a thai woman honestly would she align her life with another's based only on the money he could give her, i wonder if she could say yes? personally, i find it hard to believe that a person could marry a fat, boring, disespectful loser simply because he has money (though surely it does happen occasionally)! women have no problems picking up men in general, and there are plenty of available men here. why wouldn't they pick one who has cash and makes them happy in other ways?

[Mighty Mouse]

girlx

Nice sensible post.

I assume that you are a farang, interested in or married to a farang.

I also assume that you have had your fair share of boyfriends/dates/romances in the past.

The more that you have had, the better your knowledge and experience become as far as choosing one with whom you are compatible, one who you believe meets all the qualities that you seek in a partner and therefore one with whom you would like to spend the rest of your life.

You gain this knowledge from spending as much time as you can with each of these men, and through a process of elimination, (consciously or sub-consciously) you make a selection based on the qualities you seek.

The Thai woman may not have the same amount of time available to her to properly assess a potential farang husband.

This applies to the male farang visiting Thailand on a tourist visa for short periods of time.

Should she apply for a tourist visa to visit Mr farang in farangland, she will get a maximum period of six months. She may only get two such tourist visas before she needs to make a decision as to whether she wants to marry this guy.

Let's assume she also has had a large number of lovers/boyfriends etc.

She would know what she wants in a man and she would also know her own limitations as far as her ability to attract a higher class of men.

She may well attract handsome, high quality men but those men may not be interested in a long term relationship with her.

It may only be the "fat, boring, disrepectful loser" that wants to spend the rest of his life with her.

What is she to do? Her biological clock is ticking away, if she is a service girl her time in the industry is limited by her age, her opportunities are not plentiful as far as alternative employment are concerned. (limited by age, education, social standing etc.)

She gets to a point where she needs to make a decision.

Falangland or the rice paddy. Mr rich, "fat, boring, disrespectful loser" or a lonely life with only the basic comforts.

Keep in mind that Thais have no social welfare to look after them in their old age. They therefore rely on their children to assist them financially.

Again, through a process of elimination, she will choose her partner from those who have shown a genuine interest in her.

The criterion she uses is no different to the criterion that you use.

I'm not suggesting that this scenario is the norm, but from discussions I have had with various Thai women over many, many years, it certainly does occur.

Just to finish my thoughts let me say this. No person is perfect. It doesn't matter how many partners we have had in our lives, we will never find a partner that has only good qualities. There will always be something in our partner that we would like to change or to improve.

If we could take the good qualities from this partner and this partner and some from this partner and put them all together, we could then build a perfect partner.

In reality this is impossible.

[greenwanderer108]

Behind every strong man is a strong woman or conversely Behind every strong woman there is a strong man. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You are forgetting the basic genetics/biology!!!

XX and XY

Every man (strong or weak is beside the point since strong in this sense is referring to emotional/intelectual quota, which is subjective---relevant to the observer)

In other words, every man is half girl, and conversely, no girl is half man.

This is based purely on biology. I do realize that pschology, sociology, and culture twist and confuse everything.

[girlx]

girlx

Nice sensible post.

I assume that you are a farang, interested in or married to a farang.

i am a farang, who is interested in thais.

but your points are all very valid.

i just don't think that money is always the number one thing thai girls are looking for. they are as human as the rest of us, and they want a happy relationship in the end as well.

i guess your point was that money makes them happy, but i really haven't noticed this among thai women, except the occasional BG or middle class golddigger.

i would say it is more a combination of money and good heart they are looking for.

[saraburioz]

i just don't think that money is always the number one thing thai girls are looking for. they are as human as the rest of us, and they want a happy relationship in the end as well.

i guess your point was that money makes them happy, but i really haven't noticed this among thai women, except the occasional BG or middle class golddigger.

i would say it is more a combination of money and good heart they are looking for.

I agree - they are looking for some sucker that doesn't play around on them at the massage parlour every day.

[gburns57au]

i would say it is more a combination of money and good heart they are looking for.

So you agree with me now.....

[gburns57au]

oh, was it a question?  It seemed as if you had me all summed up.

As previously stated I dont know you and therefore I can't have you all summed up, however you seem to think you have me all summed up

Well, since I now suspect that you don't really want my answer, because you have yours, I'll tell you this:

My answer lies in the fact that you inherently see independent woman and strong man as a contradiction.  Why is that?  think deeply now ......

Actually I dont

edit:  or perhaps I give you too much credit.  Perhaps you think it's a contradiction for an "independent" woman to want or need any man; but here's the point:  I said STRONG man.  Comprende?

One thing I dont do is stereotype people, I take people on face value because sometimes my immediate health could be in danger

[gburns57au]

But it is inherant in human beings that generally women will look for someone who can provide for them, Men on the other hand look for someone to continue the bloodline with. As civilised as we are, we are still tribal deep down.

That's your opinion, and it is an easy generalisation to feel comfortable within a world which is complex and full of people who do not fit your generalisation.

Sorry, I can't agree with you, perhaps it's more important and accurate what people say about themselves, than what you like to think they are...

It is not my opinion but a scientific fact

Take away all the trappings of modern life and we would all revert to the basic and primitive instincts that lay within us all. That includes mate selection.

[gburns57au]

girlx

Nice sensible post.

I assume that you are a farang, interested in or married to a farang.

I also assume that you have had your fair share of boyfriends/dates/romances in the past.

The more that you have had, the better your knowledge and experience become as far as choosing one with whom you are compatible, one who you believe meets all the qualities that you seek in a partner and therefore one with whom you would like to spend the rest of your life.

You gain this knowledge from spending as much time as you can with each of these men, and through a process of elimination, (consciously or sub-consciously) you make a selection based on the qualities you seek.

The Thai woman may not have the same amount of time available to her to properly assess a potential farang husband.

This applies to the male farang visiting Thailand on a tourist visa for short periods of time.

Should she apply for a tourist visa to visit Mr farang in farangland, she will get a maximum period of six months. She may only get two such tourist visas before she needs to make a decision as to whether she wants to marry this guy.

Let's assume she also has had a large number of lovers/boyfriends etc.

She would know what she wants in a man and she would also know her own limitations as far as her ability to attract a higher class of men.

She may well attract handsome, high quality men but those men may not be interested in a long term relationship with her.

It may only be the "fat, boring, disrepectful loser" that wants to spend the rest of his life with her.

What is she to do? Her biological clock is ticking away, if she is a service girl her time in the industry is limited by her age, her opportunities are not plentiful as far as alternative employment are concerned. (limited by age, education, social standing etc.)

She gets to a point where she needs to make a decision.

Falangland or the rice paddy. Mr rich, "fat, boring, disrespectful loser" or a lonely life with only the basic comforts.

Keep in mind that Thais have no social welfare to look after them in their old age. They therefore rely on their children to assist them financially.

Again, through a process of elimination, she will choose her partner from those who have shown a genuine interest in her.

The criterion she uses is no different to the criterion that you use.

I'm not suggesting that this scenario is the norm, but from discussions I have had with various Thai women over many, many years, it certainly does occur.

Just to finish my thoughts let me say this. No person is perfect. It doesn't matter how many partners we have had in our lives, we will never find a partner that has only good qualities. There will always be something in our partner that we would like to change or to improve.

If we could take the good qualities from this partner and this partner and some from this partner and put them all together, we could then build a perfect partner.

In reality this is impossible.

Very well said....much the point I was trying to put across but you said it so much better.....Thanks

[steveromagnino]

i just don't think that money is always the number one thing thai girls are looking for. they are as human as the rest of us, and they want a happy relationship in the end as well.

i guess your point was that money makes them happy, but i really haven't noticed this among thai women, except the occasional BG or middle class golddigger.

i would say it is more a combination of money and good heart they are looking for.

I agree - they are looking for some sucker that doesn't play around on them at the massage parlour every day.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Who are you implying would be spending their time at the massage parlour? Based on the conduct of the 100+ farang I know here and the countless Thai men here in BKK....well I'd have to say that the jury would be out as to who is the less faithful....

Or have you got some interesting theory to add to this?

[zzap]

But it is inherant in human beings that generally women will look for someone who can provide for them, Men on the other hand look for someone to continue the bloodline with. As civilised as we are, we are still tribal deep down.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's your opinion, and it is an easy generalisation to feel comfortable within a world which is complex and full of people who do not fit your generalisation.

Sorry, I can't agree with you, perhaps it's more important and accurate what people say about themselves, than what you like to think they are...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It is not my opinion but a scientific fact

Take away all the trappings of modern life and we would all revert to the basic and primitive instincts that lay within us all. That includes mate selection.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Meanwhile, while "the trappings of modern life" are, indeed, not yet removed, perhaps you could respond to what people say about themselves, rather than what you consider to be "scientific fact"?

[Tippaporn]

Just to finish my thoughts let me say this. No person is perfect. It doesn't matter how many partners we have had in our lives, we will never find a partner that has only good qualities. There will always be something in our partner that we would like to change or to improve.

If we could take the good qualities from this partner and this partner and some from this partner and put them all together, we could then build a perfect partner.

In reality this is impossible.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Excellent, Mighty Mouse. My interpretation of "good qualities" would be qualities that satisfy us in particular. And I totally agree that there is no such thing as the existence of a single partner who is capable of satisfying every desire that one has, or could, in the future, evolve to have. As long as you're both having fun together . . .

[gburns57au]

But it is inherant in human beings that generally women will look for someone who can provide for them, Men on the other hand look for someone to continue the bloodline with. As civilised as we are, we are still tribal deep down.

That's your opinion, and it is an easy generalisation to feel comfortable within a world which is complex and full of people who do not fit your generalisation.

Sorry, I can't agree with you, perhaps it's more important and accurate what people say about themselves, than what you like to think they are...

It is not my opinion but a scientific fact

Take away all the trappings of modern life and we would all revert to the basic and primitive instincts that lay within us all. That includes mate selection.

Meanwhile, while "the trappings of modern life" are, indeed, not yet removed, perhaps you could respond to what people say about themselves, rather than what you consider to be "scientific fact"?

You seem to be missing the point.....what people say about themselves is irrelevant to what I have said.

In this topic we are talking about why Thai women go with farang men. There are many here that say it is because of love alone. I dont go along with this view.

They go with farang men for many reasons, but rarely for love alone. I merely have stated that it is inherent in most women to select a partner that provide security and stability for them. Whether this be emotional, financial or whatever.

Even back in the caveman days, the best hunter would have more potential wives to choose from because of his ability to provide even if he was the ugliest man in the tribe as would the bravest fighter. He in turn would select who he perceived to be the best partner to continue the bloodline, not necessarily the best looking girl either.

In todays world, little has changed. A woman may meet a man she is physically attracted to but unless he can provide for her needs and desires then it all amounts to nothing.

In the Thai girl scenario it is the same, Most of the girls I have met are looking for someone who can provide to their needs and this does include financial stability. They are looking for the best deal they can get, but..... this doesnt mean the richest man...they are happy to settle with a good hearted man of modest means as long as they are provided for and they can see that the man is doing the best he can to provide that support.

On the other side of the coin, and this is for Kat and Girlsx as well, an independant woman who is financially secure will still look for a man who can provide her with the emotional security she desires. Again he may not be the most handsome of men as long as he provides for her needs emotionally.

Men and women dont change from race to race or area to area, we all have inherent needs and desires that need to be satisfied by our partners. If those basic needs are not satisfied then there is no relationship. These needs and desires are instinctive in us all.

Edited December 15, 2005 by gburns57au

[britmaveric]

Nah its love plain/simple. Beyond that - its all icing on the cake matey.

[gburns57au]

Nah its love plain/simple. Beyond that - its all icing on the cake matey.

You old romantic you.......