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Marry Me


magic

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(oops guess other thiavisa members were logged on this comp..)

well her angry rants have become much more brief in duration... and are only about my other female freinds.. and waiting for me to engage.. But, I must the say mutual love has grown between us.. I believe that is legit,, and not about money since i am somewhat cheap :) and live very modestly.. I know how easy it would be for her to marry a rich older guy.. But, she is very honest and trustworthy with a good heart.

She has improved her temper as well..

I am just wondering if we where to engage, & we later decide that it isn't working, would this be devistating to her and her Thai family?

We have not actually lived together for more than a 5 days at a time..

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(oops guess other thiavisa members were logged on this comp..)

well her angry rants have become much more brief in duration... and are only about my other female freinds.. and waiting for me to engage.. But, I must the say mutual love has grown between us.. I believe that is legit,, and not about money since i am somewhat cheap :D and live very modestly.. I know how easy it would be for her to marry a rich older guy.. But, she is very honest and trustworthy with a good heart.

She has improved her temper as well..

I am just wondering if we where to engage, & we later decide that it isn't working, would this be devistating to her and her Thai family?

We have not actually lived together for more than a 5 days at a time..

Does engagement mean 2 are absolutely marrying, no doubt !

How old are you? :)

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I am just wondering if we where to engage, & we later decide that it isn't working, would this be devistating to her and her Thai family?

We have not actually lived together for more than a 5 days at a time..

Mate, she will go ballistic. She will lose all her invested time and effort and will lose a lot of face and so will her family.

If you are still in doubt, that means you should not do it.

If you break up now, it will not be pretty, but the potential fallout will be less than after engagement.

Living together unmarried is still frowned upon by most Thai parents.

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I have had a Thai GF for about 6 months now.. stay together 3 days per week.. I am 32, she is 30. I have lived in bkk for 4 yrs.

She sells websites, which isn't such stable work for her..

Pros:

Stunning Beauty

Jai dee

Very Honest as far as I know

I believe she loves me

Very affectionate

Helps out with $ for food /entertainment all the time

Great sex

Cons:

Her unreal Temper that even she admits is over the top

Finds something to fight about every 3 weeks or so, which turns into her spewing sometimes vulgar/ abusive language towards me, which can last up to 5-12 hrs at a time! ( i do the opposite of this )

Super jealous of any female friends i have.. even thought i say we can all hang out and try to do this together.

super suspicious of all my actions, not to mention any friends SHE may still have.. ( she doesn't have many, admitting she isn't very friendly)

very arrogant, thinking she is always right.

Just tonight she said she felt bad about a problem at work, called me and wanted to meet after we talked, but i was feeling a little sick & said the next day is better. This apparently was not good enough for her.. which stated another argument.. :)

And over the past month SHE asked to marry! She seems to have a real urgecy about this.. Basically, "marry or split." She has also said a while ago that her parents will go back to Isan soon, & she will need to find another place.. also saying how I should get a bigger apartment, etc..

This makes me question her true motives..... :D

Her history:

had 2-3 farang BFs who split on her after 3-6 months.. one of which asked her to marry, then never called her after he went home.. other was a butterfly. So i can understand her feelings a bit.

hmmm What's a guy to do ?

You have to ask? Enjoy her attributes, but I would steer clear of marriage until U see some stability. I would NOT be pressured into anything. They are good at these tactics.

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Narr…..I would say……make a mad dash!!!

Because of these……

Her history:

-had 2-3 farang BFs who split on her after 3-6 months

-Her unreal Temper…..

-Always finds something to fight about…..

-spewing sometimes vulgar/ abusive language towards me, which can last up to 5-12 hrs at a time

-Super jealous

-very arrogant, thinking she is always right……

Well…..TOO MANY stink personalities and bad attitude overall - not to mention, there is no trust in the relationship on her part toward YOU at all. How can even think about the word "marriage" seriously at this point, is beyond me

Talk to her first of your concerns. If she's not ready to change her uncontrollable and abusive attitudes, then dump her…..and RUN RUN RUN,… don't ever look back.

Life is too short to put up with all the CRAPS!!!

And there are plenty of girls out there who will make U a good wifely materials - U just have to be smarter next time in choosing.

TC

That's right TC. But I would miss out the talking bit and just leg it!

TC's right, life IS too short to put up with all the crap!

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My wife is/was the same. She has mellowed over the years and now is less jealous, less abusive, not violent any more (PM me if you want to know how that stopped).

She still thinks she's right all the time and says 'F*** you!' and other abuse whenever she disagrees with me (our daughter started saying it too, at age 2! though it was said as 'P*** you!' which was almost cute...)

I still love her for all the reasons I did at the start, almost the same as the reasons stated in the OP. This must be some sort of Thai phenomenon, because I never met a woman like that anywhere else. Unless you are actually seeing my wife, in which case I will have to start checking where she is! :)

You have to look at people as a whole, nobody's perfect and in my wife's case the positives outweigh the negatives significantly. Good Luck with your choice if you haven't made it yet!

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it's just that the good times are really great, but the bad times really suck!

She can only be an angel or a devil. There is no middle... those are her words..

I wonder sometimes if she has some mental issues..

After a few years of marriage the % of devil becomes more and more, especially when the sex becomes less frequent and less adventurous.

I'd say get the fuc_k out of Dodge, asap.

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Under no circumstances allow to be pressurised - be it into getting a bigger apartment or walking down the isle.

There are 100 ways to be nice and kind and show a lady you care for her. A nice postcard, a flower, ...

In return, you need to earn and keep her respect.

(I had such a marriage in California where I ended up being dominated and manipulated and the fighting increased 10-fold).

Many girls are under external pressure. Her girlfriends, family, ...

Can you dare talk frankly with her? Good luck to both of you!

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OP you need to go with your gut feelings on this problem. Surely you know what I mean, that little voice inside that tells you good or bad.

:):D ...all depends which head he is thinking with

DON'T LAUGH. THAT'S THE PROBLEM HERE!

The little head should get a lobotomy before it follows the big head out here.

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Thanks for all the replies guys... have been away in america for 4 months now, away from her.. Who knows what will happen when i return.. :D

Wise words..indeed.

Well, have returned now... and met with her again.. we seem to have mutual love.. but she has given me an ultamatum... engage or she has to stop...

I am wondering what to do now...

:D Do you have two usernames?

:D:D Thats a classic, looks like the game is up :) .

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OP you need to go with your gut feelings on this problem. Surely you know what I mean, that little voice inside that tells you good or bad.

:D:D ...all depends which head he is thinking with

DON'T LAUGH. THAT'S THE PROBLEM HERE!

The little head should get a lobotomy before it follows the big head out here.

MJP, You speak words of wisdom my friend.

Theres nothing like the irony of a thai girl that constantly mutters stuff about being jai yen yen one minute & then flys into a psycho rage the next.....amazing thailand :)

my favourite saying, "Women, you can't live with them, you can't live with them". OP, Get married for what? :D:D

Edited by neverdie
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OP you need to go with your gut feelings on this problem. Surely you know what I mean, that little voice inside that tells you good or bad.

:D:D ...all depends which head he is thinking with

DON'T LAUGH. THAT'S THE PROBLEM HERE!

The little head should get a lobotomy before it follows the big head out here.

MJP, You speak words of wisdom my friend.

Theres nothing like the irony of a thai girl that constantly mutters stuff about being jai yen yen one minute & then flys into a psycho rage the next.....amazing thailand :)

A bought a Howitzer to sort the problem out.

And Where the F have you been? I've missed you.

Edited by MJP
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^^ MJP,

I vaguely remember mentioning to you before that a rusty old half broken down motorcycle will bring you more joy than a nice new shiney sheila. :)

ps: I know the mods don't want me to list the reasons for this.

ahh, i thought no-one had missed me, i've left the land of vertical smiles to get an injection of sanity :D

Edited by neverdie
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^^ MJP,

I vaguely remember mentioning to you before that a rusty old half broken down motorcycle will bring you more joy than a nice new shiney sheila. :)

ps: I know the mods don't want me to list the reasons for this.

Right you are ya' made Aussie you!

How have you been?

Hold on I'll just get a coffee.

Edited by MJP
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She still thinks she's right all the time and says 'F*** you!' and other abuse whenever she disagrees with me (our daughter started saying it too, at age 2! though it was said as 'P*** you!' which was almost cute...)

I never met a woman like that anywhere else.

Try Soi Cowboy again.

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9there are many others , just look around, you could get a new girl every few days, i hope you are stallion like i am :)

Have you considered a hobby?

I've the green fingers and not because I put them into something, how should I say this? Unwell?

You need a little garden or something there to keep your mind occupied, to keep your mind off, you know what.

Go on now! There's a good boy say!

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9there are many others , just look around, you could get a new girl every few days, i hope you are stallion like i am :)

Have you considered a hobby?

I've the green fingers and not because I put them into something, how should I say this? Unwell?

You need a little garden or something there to keep your mind occupied, to keep your mind off, you know what.

Go on now! There's a good boy say!

I think he has a hobby His problem is that the land is not good. His tools are maybe Ok but if the land is crap

The answer lies in the soil. Fertilize or find New Pastures.

Second thoughts No don't Fertilize Move On

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I have had a Thai GF for about 6 months now.. stay together 3 days per week.. I am 32, she is 30. I have lived in bkk for 4 yrs.

She sells websites, which isn't such stable work for her..

Pros:

Stunning Beauty

Jai dee

Very Honest as far as I know

I believe she loves me

Very affectionate

Helps out with $ for food /entertainment all the time

Great sex

Cons:

Her unreal Temper that even she admits is over the top

Finds something to fight about every 3 weeks or so, which turns into her spewing sometimes vulgar/ abusive language towards me, which can last up to 5-12 hrs at a time! ( i do the opposite of this )

Super jealous of any female friends i have.. even thought i say we can all hang out and try to do this together.

super suspicious of all my actions, not to mention any friends SHE may still have.. ( she doesn't have many, admitting she isn't very friendly)

very arrogant, thinking she is always right.

Just tonight she said she felt bad about a problem at work, called me and wanted to meet after we talked, but i was feeling a little sick & said the next day is better. This apparently was not good enough for her.. which stated another argument.. :D

And over the past month SHE asked to marry! She seems to have a real urgecy about this.. Basically, "marry or split." She has also said a while ago that her parents will go back to Isan soon, & she will need to find another place.. also saying how I should get a bigger apartment, etc..

This makes me question her true motives..... :D

Her history:

had 2-3 farang BFs who split on her after 3-6 months.. one of which asked her to marry, then never called her after he went home.. other was a butterfly. So i can understand her feelings a bit.

hmmm What's a guy to do ?

A no brainer, my friend, do as the other 2-3 BFs did Split(Flee the scene)if you marry this nut case(from what you have said here) get ready for one hella ride dude. Sound like a very very unsecure woman that wants to hook A MAN by marrying his, boy little does she know many married dude do the butterfly also. SPLIT NOW. :D:)

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