Frustrating Cultural Differences

[2long]

His suspension, due to his reaction, at least shows he's probably no troll (which was one of my suspicions).

Bless.. school opens in 10 days. I hope he's back (here) in time.

[AbelMagwitch]

The idea that Thai TV is in any way decent for children kills me. Hours of mind numbing screaming, a few nonsense shows showing moribund fat kids rolling about, stupid comedy shows with a ladyboy and an idiot and dramas so violent and sexist that they should be shown at midnight. I usually just walk past the TV and turn it off.

[undercover]

My wife is Thai, I am ex-American. Our boy is now 3 years, 3 months old, daughter was just born last Sunday. I have to agree with Garro. I am certainly no expert in child rearing. I didn't get my own life together until my late thirties, early forties. So who am I too judge. Some of the ways my wife and her family seemed odd, or plain wrong, along the way. But now, looking back, I love the way her family instills confidence and caring in my son and their constantly giving nature. If we moved back to the US we would not get the same from my well-intentioned family.

Same thing here

[dave_boo]

Sorry joining this thread late, but I'd like to say that the smug superiority complex that seems pervasive really rankles me. I was raised to accept all viewpoints and consider the validity (no matter how much that person differing from me was wrong).

Most of the other stuff I'm guilty of. I don't sleep all bunch upped, but we all eat whilst sitting on the floor. I'm usually surfing the net and they're watching one of those inane Thai soaps or a Chinese action movie. Our 16 month old loves riding on the motorcycle to the village's market; but considering the biggest hazards are the cows and the potholes, I consider that an acceptable risk, especially since she's buckled up when in the truck. The daughter mostly plays on the porch, which has an idiot proof railing (I've stumbled over it several times so it HAS to be idiot proof), and can't stand the heat. Anything outside above 28 or so has to be in her little inflatable pool. When she grows up, if she stays in the house I'm going to raise hel_l. A sheltered life is no life for children. So she's going to go out, have her fun, take her tumbles and bruises and learn about life (and yes, most likely get brown ).

Bina, what you posted about Israelis is EXACTLY why I broke my poor bubbe's heart and didn't marry a nice Jewish girl. Little did I realise that the in-laws were kinda in shock when I first met them and the volume was going to be turned up to 11 later...that's a big peevee of mine.

[cpofc]

We had two kids. My wife's 100% Thai daughter, who was 10 years old when she came to Aust with us, she is now 34 and owns her own Thai Restaurant and is Uni Educated in Aust - and a 22 Yo son who is about to get his 'own' Thai restaurant, with the help of his mother and sister of course, as Thais do. Both raised in Australia, with regular visits here.

I have to say my wife is and always has been, from day one, a very hard worker, fastidious housekeeper and an excellent mother, In fact a little too excellent really. If you know what I mean. Our kids never wanted for much. She mollycoddles them too much, and thats a fact . But that's better than those who don't care about their kids. Yeah sure there are those cultural idiosyncrasies, but we coped with them ok. No biggy really.

Yeah, the lying, even when the truth is by far a better option. Insignificant crap for the most part. Drives you mad sometimes. But we survived being broke and survived dragging ourselves up out of the gutter and starting and running a successful business. We had our ups and downs.

I have said for a while now, if I ever wrote a book about my marriage to a Thai, I would title it, 'A house of Secrets'.

And I consider our marriage to be one of the better ones among all those I knew of!

[ivowatson]

I'm usually surfing the net and they're watching one of those inane Thai soaps or a Chinese action movie.

By 'they' I hope you don't mean your 18 month daughter too.

I'm surfing the net a lot too and I'm far from an ideal parent but I won't allow my daughter watching those horrible Thai soaps. This is IMO the reason young people have hardly any values anymore.

Of course, the upbringing doesn't really help. Someone called it "instilling confidence and caring". To me, it's above all a life lesson in never accepting responsibility. Just one example: whenever a young child falls or hurts itself and cries, the guardian will hit the floor or chair as to say 'this wasn't your fault, it was the floor's fault'. Indeed a great confidence booster.

[dave_boo]

By 'they' I hope you don't mean your 18 month daughter too.

I'm surfing the net a lot too and I'm far from an ideal parent but I won't allow my daughter watching those horrible Thai soaps. This is IMO the reason young people have hardly any values anymore.

Of course, the upbringing doesn't really help. Someone called it "instilling confidence and caring". To me, it's above all a life lesson in never accepting responsibility. Just one example: whenever a young child falls or hurts itself and cries, the guardian will hit the floor or chair as to say 'this wasn't your fault, it was the floor's fault'. Indeed a great confidence booster.

Actually, she doesn't watch but a few seconds of TV and then loses interest. We usually have the TV on for backgroud music (some Thai MTV channel) and if one of 'her' songs comes on she'll watch it for a bit longer-but even then it's a minute or less. As you can imagine it's usually the bright flashy videos that attract her attention. Funny thing about that is she really likes Laos music and that pisses her mum off to no end (she's from Nakhon Sawan) I can keep her entertained the whole time the inlaws watch their soaps with her 'laptop'. A cheap plastic toy, she'll sit next to me and pound on it while I'm typing. I guess monkey see monkey do.

I'm not understanding if you're mocking or promoting the reassignment of cause and effect (assuming the former)....but that's not a good idea in my book. This may be child abuse, but since I'm still here I am not convinced, my grandma's idea of teaching was hands on. Want to stick your finger in a mains outlet? Here's a penny to do the job right (kept the penny and stuck a tie pin in instead-it shot out across the room!). Etc. We all learn through our experiences, and I don't presume to deny my daughter the chance to live HER life. Does that mean I won't tell her not to do it? Of course not. But I'm going to allow her quite a bit of latitude in making her own decisions and then enforcing the old "you made your bed' adage. I suspect it's going to be a difficult line to follow, but so far she seems to be fairly willing to listen to the grownups (much more so than I was at that age), so perhaps she'll turn out better than I did.

[PattayaParent]

All of the above.