The Off Topic Thread

[AlexLah]

Is rain, is rain!

Ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Rain all the way down the brain, going insane...

Ha ha h ah aha ha ha ha ah ha ha ah ah ah ah ah aha!

[thithi]

today?

really?

i hate going out in rains

[AlexLah]

Yeah!

The rain going down the drain, into my brain, make me go insane

Blanket wet, no regret, same as what I said, no regret.

High five still alive, makes me wonder if you are stil down under.

Down on the street, where we meet, and declare no defeat.

And then?

Bouncing!

[BIGTOE3]

This explains why I forward jokes to you.

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.."

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book..

"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"

< br>

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

"

"There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," he answered.

"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hel_l."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

"No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."

Soooo.

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.

When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.

Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?

A forwarded joke.

So, next time you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

You are all welcome at my water bowl anytime...

BT

[thithi]

ain't you too old to bounce, plarex?

mind yr back and bones

[AlexLah]

You you you, little Twi Twi ThiThi

Yes I look old but have young heart inside, about 20-22.

And huh, you never knew I have been semi professional break dancer many moons ago.

And that is same like riding a bicycle, once you know how you never forget.

And now I am gonna do more rain dance because I like rain.

[Zpete]

Dunno where to post this.

Here is as good aplace as any.

Good thinking non PC people come here...... (Pats self on back.)

TOUGH TO ARGUE WITH THIS ONE

Indian Chief Two Eagles was asked by a white government official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damages he's done."

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied, "When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex."

Then the chief leaned back, smiled, and added, "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."

[BIGTOE3]

Its dry and sunny today.

BT

[AlexLah]

You better watch out, it's coming!

Humba mumba humba mumba humba mumba humba mumba..........

[Zpete]

walla walla, boom boom, cried the fair young maiden.

As the one eyed flying purple people eater appeared on the scene........

[cashill]

Are there any cookys left?

zei hij in het duits

[Zpete]

Oh my god, the stuff is already here and there only two person that can save the planet.

Have to wait another week.

Exciting!

What makes you think there are two that can save the planet ?? read below...

WHY

We are in DEEP trouble...

The population of this country is

approximately 60 million. ( UK)

32 million are retired.

That leaves 28 million to do the work.

There are 17 million in school or at Universities.

Which leaves 11 million to do the work.

Of this there are 8 million employed by the UK government.

Leaving 3 million to do the work.

1.2 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama Bin-Laden, and fighting in Afghanistan .

Which leaves 1.8 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 0.8 million people who work for Local County Councils. And that leaves 1 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 488,000 people in hospitals or claiming Invalidity Benefit.

Leaving 512,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 511,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are,

Sitting on your ass,

At your computer, reading jokes.

Is it any wonder that we are in such a mess and that I am stressed out through trying to cope on my own?

See there are NOT TWO

BT

This is not flaming, but 'BIGTOE3'.

Have you your big toe jammed on the enter key?

Seems all spaces in your head are filling your posts, which are mainly empty &lt;deleted&gt;.

...and all the wasted bandwidth, it aint smart, just dumb.

I neva read them, ya nutz, get real, well normal.

Edited March 22, 2009 by Zpete

[AlexLah]

No rain today.

[thithi]

this is getting bowling.... had better go boring!

[AlexLah]

Did you try the Red Square thingy aready?

Or the Kitten Canon?

I bet you won't last more then 10 sec's on the square, ha ha!

[BIGTOE3]

This is not flaming, but 'BIGTOE3'.

Have you your big toe jammed on the enter key?

Seems all spaces in your head are filling your posts, which are mainly empty &lt;deleted&gt;.

...and all the wasted bandwidth, it aint smart, just dumb.

I neva read them, ya nutz, get real, well normal.

Thanks for YOUR positive comments YOU are sure someone to listen too with all your C--p

But as they say - UP TO YOU.....TIT

BT

[BIGTOE3]

[

This is not flaming, but 'BIGTOE3'.

Have you your big toe jammed on the enter key? THE ANSWER IS NO //////

Seems all spaces in your head are filling your posts, which are mainly empty &lt;deleted&gt;. - SPEAK ENGLISH AS FORUM RULES

...and all the wasted bandwidth, it aint smart, just dumb. - WHAT IN YOUR OPINION ? WHO GIVES A MONKEY ?

I neva read them, ya nutz, get real, well normal. - WELL WHY MAKE ANY COMMENT AT ALL IF YOU CAN'T READ YOU D---Y

Have a nice day

BT

[bkkjames]

this is getting bowling.... had better go boring!

if i said you had a nice body would you hold it against me? failing that, could I have my cake and eat yours too?

[thithi]

this is getting bowling.... had better go boring!

if i said you had a nice body would you hold it against me? failing that, could I have my cake and eat yours too?

a bottle of small singha didnt work on me, ................Uncle

[AlexLah]

Cheap cheap

The lady clearly needs served a bottle of vodka......icecold.

[thithi]

LOL

errr.... dnt wanna pass out in the elevator again

[AlexLah]

Drink 1/4 th, and put in freezer for next day.

That's ur ploblem, once you start you dunno when to stop.

You remember after you puke, ha ha ha!

[thithi]

yeh yeh

tough night, not at the moment

[AlexLah]

Same here, drink apple cider, healthy stuff.

[cashill]

Today i was very slow to much beer last night tomorow back to school maybe the can teach me something after 47 year

[AlexLah]

Back to school????????

And where the heck is everybody?

It is only 03:50 in Thailand.

[bkkjames]

this is getting bowling.... had better go boring!

if i said you had a nice body would you hold it against me? failing that, could I have my cake and eat yours too?

a bottle of small singha didnt work on me, ................Uncle

i said to the waiter get you a drink, not my fault you chose a beer.

[AlexLah]

Well James we need to have the testimony of ThiThi on how she ended up with a small Bia Singh.

So far it is only hearsay and that does not count in the TV courtroom.

[bkkjames]

Well James we need to have the testimony of ThiThi on how she ended up with a small Bia Singh.

So far it is only hearsay and that does not count in the TV courtroom.

Well Alex, truth be known, when the waiter went over to ask Ms Newlybdaygirl what she wanted, she thought her date was paying and ordered the cheapest thing on the menu.

It took some time for all of this to SURFACE, but I have it on good authority that this is how it played out.

[AlexLah]

I understand now she is a very modest girl and on the Surface, it is what it is.

Wish I was 20 years younger.

Let's have another piss up!

Kind regards,

Alex