How Do You Handle It?

[SoiSource]

Sorry girl x but men and women are different. Men have something different which makes them naturally attracted to other women even if they are married. Im not talking about cheating im talking about how to deal with it?

Maybe im just weak biggrin.gif

you must be weak, and pretty stupid too if you believe women are not attracted to anyone other than their husbands. it's called self control and loyalty. learn some.

The difference between MENS and BOYS is simply SELF CONTROL.

What did I do about it? NOTHING.....I look, I enjoy, but I never touch. Not hard really!

Men or old men and boys? You got me confused now because im a man not a boy.

Anyway keep the topic rolliing as im still none the wiser.

[girlx]

you should read a couple of science books if you think men and women were designed the same re: reproduction

if you make a promise not to cheat then there are ethical problems with breaking this promise but no men were sure as hel_l not designed by science to only have sex with a singe woman that is just a rule created by society

I never said men and women were made the same- I am saying the fact that they are different is irrelevant. The point is whether or not they can control themselves more than the average chimp can. Men know that it is hard to remain monogamous before they get married. If they can't develop enough strength/self control to stop themselves from cheating then they shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, and they should break off their relationship or make some satisfactory agreement with their wives, before the s*** hits the fan if possible.

What do people see in marriage anyway? Just be single and have fun, no obligations to anyone! But if you do take that step, stick to it for chrissakes. Or why bother?

[AlexLah]

I think you should try to contact MetroGirl.

She can help ya.

Girlx is only throwing oil on your fire by saying that women also have some kinda feelings when they see a good looking guy.

It does not work like that here ore anywhere else, most of the time let me tell you.

You can screw around as long as your wife/GF does not find out, OK?

Most of Thai guys I know have so called: "Gigs,ah"

Yeah, some girl beside their regular,ah.

You can get them for the right amount of dosh,ah.

But you know what, your GF might then also have a nice understanding, good looking Thai BF. on the side that is,ah.

Troll alert, please take over, ground control.

[SoiSource]

I think you should try to contact MetroGirl.

She can help ya.

Girlx is only throwing oil on your fire by saying that women also have some kinda feelings when they see a good looking guy.

It does not work like that here ore anywhere else, most of the time let me tell you.

You can screw around as long as your wife/GF does not find out, OK?

Most of Thai guys I know have so called: "Gigs,ah"

Yeah, some girl beside their regular,ah.

You can get them for the right amount of dosh,ah.

But you know what, your GF might then also have a nice understanding, good looking Thai BF. on the side that is,ah.

Troll alert, please take over, ground control.

Ok mr ah you seem to know everything ah but u dont know nothing ah so why post on here ah? your not making sense ah

[AlexLah]

Get a life, OK?

[GuestHouse]

guesthouse you have no idea what you are talking about

OPs lack of desire to sleep with fat women is also a product of human evolution

The perception of beauty relates to culture - not evolution. Doh!

[Svenn]

The OP has a valid question, just because it's easy to deride the cheating impulse as sleezy or immature, doesn't mean it still isn't a real urge many men have. I'm 23 and still in gf/bf status, but I've often wondered how I'd ever handle being married, and the thought that I might cheat on a future wife scares me to death. Maybe this fear shows that it won't be too hard for me to be loyal, but my current strategy is just not to get married... maybe something the OP should have done. Maybe it would work if you had a mistress from such a remote place it wouldn't bother your wife? e.g., I guess it would be much less offensive to your wife, if she was American, if you had a mistress in Thailand or Nigeria, than if you were cheating on her with the woman next door.

[bangkokboro]

are you old and bald and fat? that might help you deal with it by knowing that the girls you see are repulsed by the sight of you

Well to be honest im 32 and still very handsome, that is my problem. The girls look at me because im handsome and therefore it gets me excited etc etc but the main thing is they are not money oriented bg's, one is a air hostess the other has a daddy with a gold course and resort on samet.

Anyway enough of you snide comments im just being honest as a response to your pathetic post mate. Why are u fat and bald?

I think you've heard " hansum man where you go to many times" and started to believe it unless your a Brad Pitt lookalike and if thats the case you wouldn't get a lazy lob when they looked at you.

[SoiSource]

are you old and bald and fat? that might help you deal with it by knowing that the girls you see are repulsed by the sight of you

Well to be honest im 32 and still very handsome, that is my problem. The girls look at me because im handsome and therefore it gets me excited etc etc but the main thing is they are not money oriented bg's, one is a air hostess the other has a daddy with a gold course and resort on samet.

Anyway enough of you snide comments im just being honest as a response to your pathetic post mate. Why are u fat and bald?

I think you've heard " hansum man where you go to many times" and started to believe it unless your a Brad Pitt lookalike and if thats the case you wouldn't get a lazy lob when they looked at you.

LOL sorry mate i dont go to bars. My question has nothing to do with bgs.

[bangkokboro]

are you old and bald and fat? that might help you deal with it by knowing that the girls you see are repulsed by the sight of you

Well to be honest im 32 and still very handsome, that is my problem. The girls look at me because im handsome and therefore it gets me excited etc etc but the main thing is they are not money oriented bg's, one is a air hostess the other has a daddy with a gold course and resort on samet.

Anyway enough of you snide comments im just being honest as a response to your pathetic post mate. Why are u fat and bald?

I think you've heard " hansum man where you go to many times" and started to believe it unless your a Brad Pitt lookalike and if thats the case you wouldn't get a lazy lob when they looked at you.

LOL sorry mate i dont go to bars. My question has nothing to do with bgs.

Who mentioned bars or bg's? hey just had a thought maybe i am handsome toooooooooooooo.

[SoiSource]

are you old and bald and fat? that might help you deal with it by knowing that the girls you see are repulsed by the sight of you

Well to be honest im 32 and still very handsome, that is my problem. The girls look at me because im handsome and therefore it gets me excited etc etc but the main thing is they are not money oriented bg's, one is a air hostess the other has a daddy with a gold course and resort on samet.

Anyway enough of you snide comments im just being honest as a response to your pathetic post mate. Why are u fat and bald?

I think you've heard " hansum man where you go to many times" and started to believe it unless your a Brad Pitt lookalike and if thats the case you wouldn't get a lazy lob when they looked at you.

LOL sorry mate i dont go to bars. My question has nothing to do with bgs.

Who mentioned bars or bg's? hey just had a thought maybe i am handsome toooooooooooooo.

You did. I have never heard that phrase in thailand apart from when i walk past a bar. get me?

[bangkokboro]

No i dont i get it in Robinsons sometimes but obviously just smile back without getting excited. By the way nothing wrong with bg's

[SoiSource]

No i dont i get it in Robinsons sometimes but obviously just smile back without getting excited. By the way nothing wrong with bg's

Of course there is nothing wrong with bgs. The only thing with bgs is its false mate. A bit like those copy flowers you see in robinsons, look nice but not real.

Anyway.............

[SoiSource]

So you are lusting for other girls.

You are asking us if you should end the relationship and

start dating other girls.

Or if you should lie and cheat by sleeping with other girls

while staying in the relationship.

Troll? or is he for real?

Sorry i missed your post b4. hmmm well no im not a troll.

I just want to know how the guys on here deal with seeing so many beautiful women roaming around every thanon, soi, crevis and handle there feelings. Cmon its not as easy as living in the west when you have hundreds on mingers in your face. lol

Edited October 23, 2008 by SoiSource

[jietjon]

No i dont i get it in Robinsons sometimes but obviously just smile back without getting excited. By the way nothing wrong with bg's

Well said that man. Bgs have good hearts too

[lifeisrandom]

So you are lusting for other girls.

You are asking us if you should end the relationship and

start dating other girls.

Or if you should lie and cheat by sleeping with other girls

while staying in the relationship.

Troll? or is he for real?

Sorry i missed your post b4. hmmm well no im not a troll.

I just want to know how the guys on here deal with seeing so many beautiful women roaming around every thanon, soi, crevis and handle there feelings. Cmon its not as easy as living in the west when you have hundreds on mingers in your face. lol

have you been to soi ratchada? that will give you an idea

[whiterussian]

ratcheda soi 4? lol..

I handle it by going on holiday with my GF as often as possible. Off to the mountains on the Bike in a day for two days... nothing but onion farmers, and women in wellington boots for 300km! mmm... sexy!

[473geo]

Since moving to bangkok and bringing my thai wife with me, Everytime i go out i found it increasingly hard to be sincere to her. I dont just mean BGs btw.

How do you handle it guys?

The girls are so cute its hard isnt it?

Maybe its impossible anyway im just being honest.

It is quite easy to deal with......

Are you really happy with your wife and all that goes with her??

Because if you are...and you can lie well when you sleep with another....and you can cope, not feel guilt, when you sleep with another...and you can do something that you know will destroy her to if you are found out....and you can live with the knowledge that one night in the sack with someone else could split you forever......and you are prepared to risk bringing disease into your marriage......

Then go out and enjoy yourself.....have fun....

If not stay home.....and keep enjoying the view

[MetroGirl]

I think you should try to contact MetroGirl.

She can help ya.

Alex:

Are U my agent now, Alex?...LOL

Trying to pass me along …huh

I think the only thing the OP will be shaking at the end is……. lots of SALT!!

Seems like the OP won't match me, intellectually..............hmmm….judging by his immature post!

MARRIED MAN, and new PAPA…are OFF LIMIT to me JA

I do have some ethical and principles too, u know

Mr. Seapok:

Seems U know quite well on…. how to handle the "wife" side

Here I thought U r still UN-MARRIED!.....tsk tsk tsk

Now what should I do with a trashcan full of your posted-notes then, BURN THEM all !!!!????…..huh

Now to the OP:

Wow, your question is incredibly immature and ignorant to all problems relating to adultery. If you actually knew anything about relationships/or even what a marriage is, ...then you would understand how stupid your question really is!!!

[JimsKnight]

Since moving to bangkok and bringing my thai wife with me, Everytime i go out i found it increasingly hard to be sincere to her. I dont just mean BGs btw.

How do you handle it guys?

The girls are so cute its hard isnt it?

Maybe its impossible anyway im just being honest.

Bangkok = Bachelors Paradise.

[Ajarn_Jonesy]

Since moving to bangkok and bringing my thai wife with me, Everytime i go out i found it increasingly hard to be sincere to her. I dont just mean BGs btw.

How do you handle it guys?

The girls are so cute its hard isnt it?

Maybe its impossible anyway im just being honest.

This is Bangkok dude. Its not the UK.

From what you guys are saying it is all in the cities name huh??? Bang_kok.

but ya know u were thinkin it:)

But seriously! Temptation is always there just in different forms..... Most people just need to grow up and accept the responsability of the vows they took... And no I am not saying you did anything wrong, but there are many that do and lay the blame on the temptation and how hard it is. Besides grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence.

[Ajarn_Jonesy]

no i am 23 and fuc_k everything that moves

& not mature enough to post on a forum yet.

I'll second that motion!! And make another.

Grow UP!!

[Ajarn_Jonesy]

Sorry girl x but men and women are different. Men have something different which makes them naturally attracted to other women even if they are married. Im not talking about cheating im talking about how to deal with it?

Maybe im just weak biggrin.gif

you must be weak, and pretty stupid too if you believe women are not attracted to anyone other than their husbands. it's called self control and loyalty. learn some.

The difference between MENS and BOYS is simply SELF CONTROL.

What did I do about it? NOTHING.....I look, I enjoy, but I never touch. Not hard really!

Men or old men and boys? You got me confused now because im a man not a boy.

Anyway keep the topic rolliing as im still none the wiser.

Hmm I don't think that he was talking about physical age......

"by their fruits you will know them" or something like that... "When I was a child I spake as a child, when I became a man I put aside childish things" This whole conversation is starting to lend more support to the old saying that women mature earlier than men..... Never thought of it but in some cases that is certainly true it seems.

[Ruperts]

Marriage is a sham anyway. It's based on 'love', which is a dangerous thing to base anything on, never mind a lifetime commitment. Most people secretly know that love in any romantic way doesn't exist. It's just the shared feeling of relief at finding somebody who ticks the right boxes. Different boxes for different people - someone to be seen with, someone who will provide... Once they're all ticked, you can succesfully conform to the idea of happiness that only 'love' can provide. Mmmmm sweet serotonine. I'm in love.

Following that 'love' becomes purely physical. It's not love, boys and girls, it's sex. Oh you like it? Yes of course you like it. But the reason you like it has everything to do with reproduction and nothing to do with love. Why do most men have mainly male friends and women female friends? Why aren't they in love with each other? Because there is nothing physical between them. 'Platonic Love' proves by it's existance as a term that 'love' is purely physical.

Many people who are calling the OP immature in this thread are pulling the wool firmly over their own eyes, because they are desperate not to face up to the fact that they have devoted a lifetime to this so very fragile form of make-believe happiness, and are desperate not to allow reality to shatter the illusion. Some of them may have even successfully convinced themselves that they are genuinely 'in love', just as they may have successfully convinced themselves that if they refrain from commiting sin they will be granted entry to heaven when they die. Never underestimate the stupidity of man.

The OP has felt the need to announce himself as being 'HONEST!!!' at least twice in this thread, and this for me highlights the stupidity of man regarding love quite nicely. What other purely natural process (in this case, a male being attracted to attractive females) would require it's subject to use such a qualifier. Could you imagine, 'when I get hungry I like to eat, HONEST!!!', or 'when i'm tired i really like to go to sleep, HONEST!!!!!' Could you imagine a more ridiculous response by a teacher to a childs request to go to the toilet than, 'you need to grow up and stop being so immature!'

[JimsKnight]

I love these threads,

They always turn into the free-wheeling single men-about-town versus the married ones who are usually tucked up in bed and who seem to resent anyone who is single having a blast through life and sleeping with more than one partner

To me the whole 'love' thing is a bit over-rated now and is manipulated to sell a lot of consumerist crap.

It does exist but more for the woman who is after her man for support and kids. The man sometimes gets caught by the womans love vibe and settles into it. Long marriages usually result. But long and happy marriages these days are quite rare.

For me life is a lot more fun being single, you are your own boss, no-one tells you what to do and nags you. You wear your own crown of destiny (to an extent).

90% of couples I've met in Thailand and in the west usually have the male trapped somewhat with his lot in life. But some people are suited to a married lifestyle. I know I'm not, I've been on the move and travelling too much to even want to slow down and get hooked.

Man is meant to be the hunter, it's written into our genes and characteristics, some more than others. Once kids come crawling along life becomes too boring for my liking. Not everyone is supposed to have kids, and I hate those that seem to 'expect' others to follow their wife and 2 kids example. If we all did that the earth would be even more overcrowded and crazy.

On the same note, being single isn't for everyone either. I've had conversations with depressed farang who aren't even married, but are upset with their Thai girlfriend.

'Look, if you aren't happy and it is making you sad, why the hel_l are you still with her then?' I tell him.

After a sullen silence I get the shy little truth peeping its head. 'I get too lonely on my own.' He meekly mutters.

Another time there was this guy just pacing back and forth in a bar, like a raging demon on the brink of armageddon.

Turns out he was missing his girlfriend who was being a bit nouty and not around for him to be with. So he was all over the place.

So some needy guys can do better NOT being single, as they do well with a wife mentally.

I think it might be some subconcious fear that if they die they have to be around someone, at least, that's what some college chick doing psychologist stuff told me

[473geo]

I love these threads,

They always turn into the free-wheeling single men-about-town versus the married ones who are usually tucked up in bed and who seem to resent anyone who is single having a blast through life and sleeping with more than one partner

To me the whole 'love' thing is a bit over-rated now and is manipulated to sell a lot of consumerist crap.

It does exist but more for the woman who is after her man for support and kids. The man sometimes gets caught by the womans love vibe and settles into it. Long marriages usually result. But long and happy marriages these days are quite rare.

For me life is a lot more fun being single, you are your own boss, no-one tells you what to do and nags you. You wear your own crown of destiny (to an extent).

90% of couples I've met in Thailand and in the west usually have the male trapped somewhat with his lot in life. But some people are suited to a married lifestyle. I know I'm not, I've been on the move and travelling too much to even want to slow down and get hooked.

Man is meant to be the hunter, it's written into our genes and characteristics, some more than others. Once kids come crawling along life becomes too boring for my liking. Not everyone is supposed to have kids, and I hate those that seem to 'expect' others to follow their wife and 2 kids example. If we all did that the earth would be even more overcrowded and crazy.

On the same note, being single isn't for everyone either. I've had conversations with depressed farang who aren't even married, but are upset with their Thai girlfriend.

'Look, if you aren't happy and it is making you sad, why the hel_l are you still with her then?' I tell him.

After a sullen silence I get the shy little truth peeping its head. 'I get too lonely on my own.' He meekly mutters.

Another time there was this guy just pacing back and forth in a bar, like a raging demon on the brink of armageddon.

Turns out he was missing his girlfriend who was being a bit nouty and not around for him to be with. So he was all over the place.

So some needy guys can do better NOT being single, as they do well with a wife mentally.

I think it might be some subconcious fear that if they die they have to be around someone, at least, that's what some college chick doing psychologist stuff told me

Think a man could have spent years 'hunter gathering' having a ball, before settling on the one partner then..

The OP was more looking for advice on how not to sleep with the 'college chick'.....not thinking about death!!!

[MasterOfDisaster]

Most girls in this country are ugly as hel_l; I got extremely high standards, so raising the bar on what is attractive to you may help a bit. Next think to your self how many dudes have tapped that and what type of nasty she might be carrying. Someone mentioned Thai soaps; they should help in showing you the difference. Never the less you only live once so knock your self out.

[kiakaha]

Since moving to bangkok and bringing my thai wife with me, Everytime i go out i found it increasingly hard to be sincere to her. I dont just mean BGs btw.

How do you handle it guys?

The girls are so cute its hard isnt it?

Maybe its impossible anyway im just being honest.

try being here a long time (for me nearly 14 years working).

i find quite often with guys i meet who've been here 1 to 2 years that there is a bit of a giddy/kid in a candy store phase that many go through.

of course, it is also proportional to how mentally tough you are in the first place and by that i mean the ability to set goals and focus on your goals for being here.

[donna]

guesthouse you have no idea what you are talking about

OPs lack of desire to sleep with fat women is also a product of human evolution

The perception of beauty relates to culture - not evolution. Doh!

thankyou GuestHouse.

i think that some of you should remember that in some societies,particularly in africa, the bigger the woman, the more sought after she is.

to say that a fat woman will not be desired is absolute rubbish. thats like saying a fat man wont be desired, and i see plenty of them around with bits of fluff hanging off of their arms.

to the OP, i say grow up. there is no harm in looking, but that doesnt mean you have to sleep with every woman who looks at you. sure.....youre handsome....i bet you get told that every day.....i have news for you. its all part of the game.

[kmart]

all men live lives of quiet desperation

the way you get through it is by the act of repression. its the same way people spend 60 hrs a week doing a job they hate then come home and sit in front of the television watching mind numbing bs and admiring what immature bratty children they have raised (like the little international school bastards who cant keep their mouths shut for 2 minutes in a movie theater).

Are you a "Motivational Speaker"? lol