"missed Call" Mobile Contact

[Steve2UK]

Granted that what I'm going to ask is not a uniquely gay phenomenon, but I'm gay and the guys doing it are gay - so here goes.....

Some of the guys I know seem to have a practice of calling and letting it ring just once - resulting in my mobile registering a "missed call" and listing the number of the caller or his name if I already have it in my Contacts list - presumably so that I'll call them back. I can understand doing this if the caller has little credit on his 'phone but this seems to happen so often and from guys who aren't short of a few baht, that I'm starting to think there's something else behind it that I'm missing. I'm kind of old-fashioned, so it's not something I'd do myself and, OK - I can and do keep my 'phone topped up. Any thoughts?

One other thing: when I call, I'll say "Hi X - this is Steve...... how are you?" even when I know they have me in their Contacts list. So many will call me and just start talking - with me having no idea who it is (if I don't have them listed). One guy even called me from a friend's phone because the friend had some free promotion available - so the caller saved 2 baht........ and this is a guy who can afford to fly often from BKK to Chiang Mai just for a visit.

Does everybody get this?

[onni4me]

Does everybody get this?

There are Cheap Charlies all around but otherwise I think this is a question of etiquette and good manners rather than solely limited to gays.

I do get this as well but I don't feel any urge to answer those calls since if its important they will call again. I also have email, that should be cost effective if one already has a laptop and connection...

How they BTW can afford expensive mobile phones but no money to use them? Sounds like Thai to me...?

[Steve2UK]

Does everybody get this?

There are Cheap Charlies all around but otherwise I think this is a question of etiquette and good manners rather than solely limited to gays.

I do get this as well but I don't feel any urge to answer those calls since if its important they will call again. I also have email, that should be cost effective if one already has a laptop and connection...

How they BTW can afford expensive mobile phones but no money to use them? Sounds like Thai to me...?

Yep, it's only (some) Thai friends that do it. I never experienced it in the UK. Like you, I'm often inclined to ignore it - just seems bad manners to me unless the guy genuinely has next to no credit on his 'phone.

[Paagai]

Does everybody get this?

Yep! On average about 20 missed calls a day, from Thai guys! Sometimes I call back, sometimes I don't. Depends on who, when, (if I'm feeling horny ) etc. Most annoying is when they use a friend's phone cos their's is in the pawn shop.......again.

In the past I've mistakenly tried buying credit to persuade them not to do it. But old habits die hard, the credit is just used for calling friends/family whilst I still get missed calls!

Frugality is bred into most Thais and this practice goes on all the time. I've even seen ping-pong missed calls as both parties have no credit

Edited November 1, 2008 by Paagai

[PeaceBlondie]

They know we have more money. They know we're generous, or horny. I just want them to tell me their name during the first minute.

[flightcrew1]

They know we have more money. They know we're generous

Even crew I work with do this. I used to call them back but now I miss call them right back. Turns into a game. Childish I know, but when you are carrying a 20,000 baht iphone there is no excuse to miss call.

[Steve2UK]

They know we have more money. They know we're generous

Even crew I work with do this. I used to call them back but now I miss call them right back. Turns into a game. Childish I know, but when you are carrying a 20,000 baht iphone there is no excuse to miss call.

I like this idea. Trying to answer my own implied question about why it happens - and trying to be charitable - I did start to wonder if the missed call is maybe a way of saying "Hey, it's me - are you free to talk?". So, bouncing it back can be my way of saying "Actually, yes I am - so call me if you want to" .

This other thing about saying who they are when they call..... Anyone who has spent any time on a messaging/chat service knows that it pretty well always start with "Hi - how are you?" (which triggers the ritual "Fine/good/great, thanks - and how are you?" etc). I really like that - even if it is a ritual. Not so great when I have to answer an anonymous "How are you?" phone call with "How are you......... and who are you?" . I think Peaceblondie and I are in the same bind - neither of us has the courtroom stenographer skills to thumb in the contact name in a nano-second with our eyes shut......... I've seen Thai guys do it while driving/eating/whatever with the other hand and holding a conversation with me at the same time. Awesome.........

Edited November 2, 2008 by Steve2UK

[Scott]

I get it occasionally. I have a couple of friends with whom it is the norm--but they have very, very little money, so I always call them back. The others, I call if I want to talk to them, otherwise I don't.

[Ijustwannateach]

I would do it if I knew the person's number and it was someone I knew who was a penniless student of mine, or something like that. However, I don't give out my phone number to students, and none of mine are penniless, so it rules that out.

Basically, if they don't care enough about speaking to me to find at least a few baht's worth to identify themselves and at least ask me to please call them back for some reason, I don't find I'm terrifically interested in speaking to them either.

"S"

[ignis]

when you get the missed call why not call them back and also just let it ring once..

if there almost out of credit why not send a message.?

There again I No idea how these top up phones work.... I'm on yearly contract with Hutch and never use all my free credit per month.

[chrisyork]

I guess the real answer is that all these guys started extremely poor - otherwise why would they be in this game in the first place? Even if they now have money the habits acquired when home in the provinces or when first in Pattaya (or wherever) will have stuck. These habits go with an attitude that the Farang is the customer and it is his role to pay expenses and or the farang has so much more money than a Thai that it is bad manners on their part not to pay. Note also that the vast majority of possession will have been bought as a present by a farang admirer, so the quality of the phone is no guide to the ability to keep it topped up. And their parent's / family's demands for cash will be expanding in line with their ability to meet them!

Generalisations of course, but a good point of departure for assessing a particular individual's behaviour.

Chris

Edited November 9, 2008 by chrisyork

[Ijustwannateach]

Slightly off-topic, but a more familiar (and perhaps also not really gay) phenomenon I run into is the 'random call' from an unknown number and unidentified party (sometimes female)... who seems surprised when you ask who they are... and then turns out to be someone you don't know. Even more bizarre, after it is established that you and the other person don't know each other, they decide to continue the conversation... I usually have to assert myself and tell the other person 'I don't know you; sorry, goodbye.' Then I hang up. And even more mysteriously, sometimes they call back!!!

[chuck_s]

I just let it go or call them back, let it ring once and hang up. Or I will call them and ask them who they are and say good bye and not to call me back again, since it is rude.

Thai seem to like this little pleasure, but it is very rude. I don't care if they don't have any credit, it's there issue, and I don't have to pay for their little "kinky" pleasures.

[popshirt]

I am waiting for a cellphone that will provide "blocking" of certain numbers. It would be a great convenience for me as there are some callers who have obtained my number and I do NOT want to hear from them again ....... anybody know anything about such a feature?

[sibeymai]

this somewhat socially dubious practice is called "shooting" by Thais. As in when someone calls your number and then hangs up after one ring you've just been "shot". It's simply a way of getting you to pay for the call assuming that you return it and it stems from the caller having not enough credit on their phone to make the call. It's not something peculiar to the gay community in Thailand.

[ignis]

I am waiting for a cellphone that will provide "blocking" of certain numbers. It would be a great convenience for me as there are some callers who have obtained my number and I do NOT want to hear from them again ....... anybody know anything about such a feature?

On my phone it ask what you want to do with the number, save/edit/block/delete etc... have about 8 number blocked most from Hutch promotions..

[Steve2UK]

I just let it go or call them back, let it ring once and hang up. Or I will call them and ask them who they are and say good bye and not to call me back again, since it is rude.

Thai seem to like this little pleasure, but it is very rude. I don't care if they don't have any credit, it's there issue, and I don't have to pay for their little "kinky" pleasures.

Judging by the replies overall, at least it seems I'm not alone in getting this "treatment". As I said, no issue when it's from someone who doesn't have credit. For "repeat offenders" who I know are in a position to maintain credit, I'll do the miss call bounce gambit and see if they learn from it...... and try to get the message across that it's a habit that doesn't (generally) go down so well with farang and lacks hai kiad (respect, consideration).

As to it being a "kinky" pleasure - uhhhhh, well, maybe some us have a rather higher threshold of kinkiness than others........... "missed call" is one that has never featured on my list.

[chuck_s]

I am waiting for a cellphone that will provide "blocking" of certain numbers. It would be a great convenience for me as there are some callers who have obtained my number and I do NOT want to hear from them again ....... anybody know anything about such a feature?

I bought a cheap Nokia for like 900 thb and it blocks numbers very easy. The person calls you and you don't want to talk to them or hear them. You go to their number and select Screen call list.

[farangpattaya]

There may be another reason why someone phones you and just let it ring once:

Your phone rings once and a missed call is shown. You're used to this (typical Thai) fenomenon and you phone back.

The number you dial is a number, connected to a cell phone, used as a set-off device for bombs.

This happened (and may be it still is happening) in the South. People in Thailand, especially in the South, got the advise NOT to answer dubious missed calls.

[elkangorito]

Slightly off-topic, but a more familiar (and perhaps also not really gay) phenomenon I run into is the 'random call' from an unknown number and unidentified party (sometimes female)... who seems surprised when you ask who they are... and then turns out to be someone you don't know. Even more bizarre, after it is established that you and the other person don't know each other, they decide to continue the conversation... I usually have to assert myself and tell the other person 'I don't know you; sorry, goodbye.' Then I hang up. And even more mysteriously, sometimes they call back!!!

For the last 5 days, I have been receiving calls from a number unknown to me. These people call up to 10 times a day (& night). I answered the phone once & said "Hello", to which I was greeted with a "Hullaw" from a female. The "hello"/"hullaw" thing ping ponged for a few times before I got the shits & hung up.

After 5 days of this idiot calling (I did not answer the phone), I finally "spat the dummy". I held onto my phone no matter where I was...this included the toilet. Every time they called, I immediately answered & did not say a word. They eventually hung up. This scenario happened about five times before they ceased to call again. I guess that they finally worked out that it was costing them money to talk to nobody.

Are people really this stupid here in Thailand?

[Ijustwannateach]

I believe there is also a phenomenon in which people call up random numbers (or possibly not-so-random- if your information from applications is passed on by clerks, etc.) hoping to find a friend, interesting contact, etc.