Internet Love

[onnut]

I must ad that we did not fall in love before we met, but there were some strong feelings.

I did not go looking for it on the net. I was coming to Thailand to travel for 6 months and just wanted to find some info about the country. anyway I came accross a chat site and it just went from there. try it, you might end up a very happy person!

[Changkok]

Ive chatted with some very nice ladies on the net, met 3, all great and had a good time. I would say out of the 3 i could of had a relationship with 1 of them, only because she was the hottest. lol

Anyway dont knock it as like people say its a way people can chat and form relationships, for example it might be easier for a shy thai girl to chat with a guy on the net rather than approache one in the street or the other way around.

I would also like to say i would never meet anyone or even chat unless i saw them on webcam first, you know what i mean. lol

[JetsetBkk]

each to their own,but be careful of some sites that have scammers on.

<cough> <cough> (clears throat)

Now, I'm not saying that my g/f is a "scammer" as such... after all, I've been with her for 3 years, but she is very busy at the moment pretending to be her sister and emailing men from all over the world, trying to find a new boyfriend for her. It's on one of those Thai lonely hearts web sites - I won't give the name or the girls' names.

Her sister can't do this as she's back in the moo baan about to have a baby from her Thai ex-boyfriend - but that's another story. Her sister also doesn't write English and can barely speak it so Lord knows what will happen if she ever gets to meet one of these blokes!

Just whether my g/f is mentioning the fact that she is 8 !/2 months pregnant, I don't know. But I've read some of the replies, and they sound very suspicious to me: "Thank you for replying to me. I get a lovely warm feeling inside when I think of you..."

I haven't read much of what my g/f has been saying as I've got my own PC and can't be bothered - but I may do later just for a laugh.

I also helped "adjust" a picture of her sister which she has sent to these guys. I did a little bit of "manipulating" to remove a rather prominent spot on the bridge of her nose. Anybody who's received a dodgy looking picture of a lovely Thai girl beware!

P.S. To fred2007: Congratulations and well done - I think it's great that it has worked out well for you. And I agree - it doesn't matter how you meet, as long as you take your time to get to know the other person, anything is possible.

[Crushdepth]

I have a friend living in Thailand who is smitten with someone he met on one of these dating websites. They exchanged a few e-mails and pics and chat regularly. Anyway,they are madly 'in love' which to me is strange, I mean they have never met.

I told him to beware, I mean what would you do in this situation? Can this happen on the net when you become infatuated with someone? Not for me anyway but can a serious relationship develop like this? It's a bit like an LDR thing. I don't want to get involved but asking for some memebers' perceptions.

I did a lot of dating / meeting people via ICQ and MSN. I met my current partner on ICQ and we have been going out for about 6 years...probably married soon. It's a great way to meet people.

[BigSnake]

Yes, Yes it can and does all the time in LOS and other spot around the world. I know three girls that are friends to the wife that met their boyfriends on the net. Three neighbors, two UK, one Aussie that are married to Thai ladies they met on the Internet(6years, 4years, 2years) Will it last(??) who know!! So far so good for them all. I wish them the Best.

[benjamat]

One of the main reasons that expats marry asian ladies is to have a real change in their life. ( I know all about the younger women thing and all that)

I met my wife initially on the net but certainly was not in love, I found her interesting, funny and a pleasure to talk to. We met quite early on and a year later were married, we are very happy and we wouild never have met without the net.

There is also a big plus with talking on the net before you meet in person. I looked at some of these sites and it is very clear that people are being more open and direct about themselves than is often the case with face to face, seems somehow less shy tp talk, this must be positive thing. Of course there are quite a few liars and scammers but if you are sensible and have half a brain you will soon spot them.

Dont send sick buffalo money to someone you have never met.

Can you fall in love on the net, not really, but you can certainly fall in love with the idea.

[torrenova]

Some people would say that posters on forums are a bit weird. I went onto forums initially to find and then exchange promotional codes for Marriott hotels years ago. I moved on from that to posting in topics and onto today. I've made many friends over the forums and the net but never looked for love. I guess I would try that but I'm a sceptic and think that many sites are probably just for working girls to drum up more business.

[Huey]

I have a friend living in Thailand who is smitten with someone he met on one of these dating websites. They exchanged a few e-mails and pics and chat regularly. Anyway,they are madly 'in love' which to me is strange, I mean they have never met.

I told him to beware, I mean what would you do in this situation? Can this happen on the net when you become infatuated with someone? Not for me anyway but can a serious relationship develop like this? It's a bit like an LDR thing. I don't want to get involved but asking for some memebers' perceptions.

You don't believe in it ? ok it's up to you, I met my wife on the net we fell in love and now we are happily married for 6 years now, any more questions?

I met mine on the net also, engaged for 2 years, just married back in January. Great way too meet IMHO

[dominique355]

I personally don't believe in it but that's just me. Connection and personality, sure works, but people do create online personas which are nothing as in real life. A lot of cyber nutters out there too.

Maybe I'm just a skeptic. Good for you Fred you met your wife online but maybe this was an isolated incident. How many of these online 'dates' turn out to be the real thing? My friend invests hours talking to 'his love' seems like a waste of time to me. Told him so.

Aren't you a bit narrow minded, Swanky? Come on! This is the 21st Century and communication and the Internet is everything. Not only in banking, shopping and ticket booking, also in love and romance.

150 years ago men could meet only a girl from the same village. Then, the population grew ad people moved to the cities and were able to broaden their horizon, meet people and women from other places than their village. Incest stopped and so did interbreeding.

Today the Internet is our village and our horizon has broadened again 100 times and we have the possibility to meet people on the other side of the planet. You are no longer stuck with the same village cows.

Personally I think this is great.

The Internet is just a tool and it depends on you (and her) what you do with it. You certainly should not forget all the common sense needed to judge another person.

But why is it meeting your love in the Internet any different from meeting her in the local pub?

As a personal note: I met my love 11 years ago in the Internet, we got married have 2 kids and are happy as can be.

[Swanky]

Well some very interesting replies from members, if I knew how maybe a poll would be appropriate. I chat to many friends online too but have met them in real life apart from a couple of posters here. One reads about internet love but applied to real life I just don't buy it.

Dominique, not narrow minded just skeptical. It has obviously worked for some good for them. My take on it is I've never done it and no need to. Then again I don't live in a village and I'm not isolated so there you go. I meet people through common shared interests and have a network of friends I hang out with. Anyway, my friend is convinced he is madly 'in love' he lives in BKK and the girl is in Singapore.

Edited November 21, 2008 by Swanky

[Swanky]

It is Thai related. My friend lives in BKK where he could pick and choose from amongst the local fauna, yet he chooses someone on the net.

Me + fling? No way, btw, is that you online all the time sending me messages and pics and no I don't have a webcam for other requests.

[mc2]

There is so much of an unknown factor when developing a relationship online. It is a fertile ground for dreams and fantasies which are projected onto the online "love". Reality can hit hard.

[RakJungTorlae]

It is Thai related. My friend lives in BKK where he could pick and choose from amongst the local fauna, yet he chooses someone on the net.

Its probably a lot wiser as well!!

[dominique355]

Well some very interesting replies from members, if I knew how maybe a poll would be appropriate. I chat to many friends online too but have met them in real life apart from a couple of posters here. One reads about internet love but applied to real life I just don't buy it.

Dominique, not narrow minded just skeptical. It has obviously worked for some good for them. My take on it is I've never done it and no need to. Then again I don't live in a village and I'm not isolated so there you go. I meet people through common shared interests and have a network of friends I hang out with. Anyway, my friend is convinced he is madly 'in love' he lives in BKK and the girl is in Singapore.

Of course you should be skeptical, or critical, that's OK. I called that using Common Sense.

But using the Internet has nothing to do with "need". But it has a lot to do with Open Mind, curiosity, but then again, some people are happy with what they have already, what they know and who they know and don't "need" to see anything new. So maybe your "village" is big enough for you or you found "your" people right next to where you live, that's great.

As for me, I love to have the opportunity the see and meet totally new people, cultures, places, and who knows what will come out of this. In other words, I love to have "choices".

[Mosha]

We went to a wedding near Thung Son last year. The groom was the son of our friends. The parents did all the arranging. The 1st time he saw her was on the wedding day. I remember saying at the time I hope she doesn't look like a dog. My wife translated and it raised a few laughs.

[Swanky]

So it was an arranged marriage Mosha?

'Its all I could come up with in such short notice'

You have to up your game then. Sure you can 'come up' with something.

Edited November 21, 2008 by Swanky

[jfchandler]

A couple of things...

1. I think it's perfectly fine to look for and initially get to know someone online. Why not? The problem/challenge is, can two people transition that to real life in a successful way. I mean, at some point, you stop the online chatting and gotta get real. Then it just becomes a regular relationship and how two people originally met doesn't really matter.

2. I've found, a good rule of thumb for the Thai online dating sites, at least from a man's perspective, is to quickly determine whether the woman has any true gainful employment, past and/or current. Not because I care about the money issue per se, but rather, it's a good indicator of whether the woman is actually leading her own life and really wants a real relationship, or, conversely, is just trolling the Internet looking for a "sugar daddy" or "daddies".

Of course, nothing is exact. I've also encountered a number of Thai ladies who have had real gainful employment (nurses, govt. employees, etc.) but whose main goal (it became apparent over time) was to augment the financial status of their family/relatives at various places upcountry. The lady may live in Bangkok, but Mom, Dad and the rest of the family oftentimes are upcountry and in "great" need....

PS.... I love Jetset's account of Internet trolling above (trolling as in... ardently seeking out). That's so THAILAND... and I think repeated thousands of times daily all over Isaan and elsewhere. But the part about the sister being 8-1/2 pregnant by the ex-Thai BF added a very special touch.... Can you use Photoshop to airbrush out the 8-1/2 month bulge???

[Swanky]

There's a big difference between trolling dating websites for kicks and finding love.

[jfchandler]

Swanky....for many women in Thailand, love and money are synonymous.... It's a very non-Western concept, but here, it's very deeply held, and not just among the poorest folks...

[Swanky]

True but how many people make up internet personas. We all do as members of TV. Some are real some are alter egos, some are just here for fun, some here to stir up shit, no different to putting up your profile on some dating website.

You give out as much or as little information as you choose and leave the rest to others' imagination.

AS for finding true love on one, well some posters have, so must be true.

[twschw]

Your friend sounds more obsessed than in love.

[sbk]

Off-topic inane comments have been deleted. Please carry on private conversations via PM and don't hijack threads, thanks.

[Swanky]

Your friend sounds more obsessed than in love.

That's what I think. Though again I may be wrong. Singapore is not that far away and he's in BKK. It's the tittilation and the promise of the thing. That's why I posted the OP. In real life I hope it works out for them but problem is the internet is far too attractive so it keeps on going in the cyber world.

[Mosha]

So it was an arranged marriage Mosha?

'Its all I could come up with in such short notice'

You have to up your game then. Sure you can 'come up' with something.

Yes it was arranged.

[twschw]

He can say it is love all he wants but until they actually meet he can not be sure. BTW I met my partner online and after two trips to Thailand I was sure it was love and I am still sure after two years together.

[Swanky]

So to expand the topic and for my own interest. Are people who use dating websites 'desperate'? Lots of other ways to meet people, social clubs, embassy dos, Thai Visa get togethers . Are we getting lazier as people because the internet is so accessible or is it the anonymous attraction of it that keeps things going?

[twschw]

In my case I wasn't "desperate I was busy. I didn't have time to go to embassy do's and social clubs. But that is just me. ThaiVisa pissups...now that is desperate

[Swanky]

In my case I wasn't "desperate I was busy. I didn't have time to go to embassy do's and social clubs. But that is just me. ThaiVisa pissups...now that is desperate

Now now, I almost met Crowboy. He's a sweetheart. My internet love....

[teacup]

Yes,...possible

Because if you're communicating over the internet it takes more than just "looks" to attract someone......

You have to be appealing intellectually, which is much more difficult. if you can do that and attract someone, it's definitely possible to fall in love, because they're falling in love with you and your personality.…..which is how you should fall in love anyway, don’t U think so?

Love is possible anywhere

ME THINK here

[Swanky]

So that's why a lot of members want to meet me? I'm fighting them off. As in Pulp Fiction, PERSONALITY goes a long way.

Edited November 21, 2008 by Swanky