Are White Women Really All That Bad?

[Hans Brix]

Hi, my gf just turned 20 and I am 43. She is Thai. I had 2 divorces from fwc's in the US and then I moved here 2 years ago. My gf here loves me. I think it's great. I could never have done this back home.

[davethailand]

Hi, my gf just turned 20 and I am 43. She is Thai. I had 2 divorces from fwc's in the US and then I moved here 2 years ago. My gf here loves me. I think it's great. I could never have done this back home.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Welcome back Joe

[padma]

Mattnich,

let me recount your story.

You came to thailand, having problems with your wife in Australia, you cheated on her with a Thai women(your current wife)

Your wife found out got upset (understandable) involved her friends(not mature but sometimes, when hurt, people look for support)

Your ex wife obviously loved you otherwise she wouldn't have spent the time and money to phone you long distance.

You either didn't love her or you both weren't mature enough to work things out amicably.

Your ex then cheated on you (probably as pay back, not mature)

Sorry you had to go through all that but really can't you get past yourself and see the other side.

And now after 2 years....you still harbor resentments and won't see the husband's on the wife who took your ex's side. If you were an adult you would be able to continue relationships with other adults that had nothing to do with your former relationship failure.

Have a great candlelight dinner.

I just don't like your broad generalization about white or western women because of your past experience especially since you don't seem so innocent in it's negative dealings.

PS. You can PM me in english, french, spanish or japanese if you like?

I'd add a little bit from the Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

Hopefully someday you will get past your resentments and look at some of the beauty in your past relationship. You did once love your ex wife didn't you?

Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."

And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:

When love beckons to you follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

[davethailand]

Mattnich,

let me recount your story.

You came to thailand, having problems with your wife in Australia, you cheated on her with a Thai women(your current wife)

Your wife found out got upset (understandable) involved her friends(not mature but sometimes, when hurt, people look for support)

Your ex wife obviously loved you otherwise she wouldn't have spent the time and money to phone you long distance.

You either didn't love her or you both weren't mature enough to work things out  amicably.

Your ex then cheated on you (probably as pay back, not mature)

Sorry you had to go through all that but really can't you get past yourself and see the other side.

And now after 2 years....you still harbor resentments and won't see the husband's on the wife who took your ex's side.  If you were an adult you would be able to continue relationships with other adults that had nothing to do with your former relationship failure.

Have a great candlelight dinner.

I just don't like your broad generalization about white or western women because of your past experience especially since you don't seem so innocent in it's negative dealings.

PS.  You can PM me in english, french, spanish or japanese if you like?

I'd add a little bit from the Prophet by Kahlil Gibran

Hopefully someday you will get past your resentments and look at some of the beauty in your past relationship.  You did once love your ex wife didn't you?

Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."

And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:

When love beckons to you follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

??

[Khutan]

Dave;

Gotta agree here;

??   

I think she needs to either brush up on some skill and learn to read. I would also suggest she goes back to the hospital.

Her logic is clearly idiotic.....

Let me just play back a quote of myself...

My problem I was so #$%@ed-over by the ex. The constant abuse etc etc, really made it hard for me to really tolerate it. I came here and met my new wife, and she went troppo, all her friends just set on me, and I just felt it better to call it a day and live here.

So when they want to abuse me for what I did, well, they get an enormous phone bill 

What did I do, well I saw the video of her with another man. When I confronted her, three denials, and she tried to deny it was her, on the pool-deck..... Finally her answer was "I think I love him" .

I told her to leave, which she did, and I didn't see much of her for 6 months. The total hyde was that her b/f would come into my bar in Sydney and expect discount drinks. I even signed over a company car which was a 9 month old SL500 Benz. I also gave her $65,000 when she said she wanted a deposit for a house to buy with her b/f. I gave it to her on the condition of a divorce.

...................................

I am now so very happy with my wife. I don't care where anyone else came from I would never want to stop with my wife.

Anyone in the forum, am I now stupid or did I say I cheated on my wife

In fact to shorten what I said - She cheated on me, scammed a huge amount of money from me, and then her and associated friends took sides. I was divorced before I met my wife. So if that is cheating, maybe in your eyes, but not in most of the civilized world.

It is clear other people's problems are surfacing

padmae;

does your native language use tense, or is that a luxary only afforded to English, not english language speakers.

My problem I was so #$%@ed-over by the ex.

Can you see I esed the word WAS not the word IS.

Moving along, I have been talking about specifics, it is you who has been generalising.

Now finally padmae, you made a clear and obvious insult towards my wife. Particularly where you were talking about communication. She, reading over my shoulder is quite hurt by your accusation she is uneducated and the only basis of our relationship is one thing.

To me, and my wife that is a proper insult.

This is just offensive to say this

Must be difficult communicating. But then again you're not in the relationship to communicate I take it.

Remember you have made an unprovoked attack on someone who cannot defend herself in this forum.

I see you didn't want to explain that, rather quote a peom.

Well let me give you something to think about.

Sorry I made a typo - so I edited it out.

..... hopefully one day, your medication will work, or be adjusted....

Edited December 15, 2004 by mattnich

[kreon]

Dave;

Gotta agree here;

??   

I think she needs to either brush up on some skill and learn to read. I would also suggest she goes back to the hospital.

Her logic is clearly idiotic.....

Let me just play back a quote of myself...

My problem I was so #$%@ed-over by the ex. The constant abuse etc etc, really made it hard for me to really tolerate it. I came here and met my new wife, and she went troppo, all her friends just set on me, and I just felt it better to call it a day and live here.

So when they want to abuse me for what I did, well, they get an enormous phone bill 

What did I do, well I saw the video of her with another man. When I confronted her, three denials, and she tried to deny it was her, on the pool-deck..... Finally her answer was "I think I love him" .

I told her to leave, which she did, and I didn't see much of her for 6 months. The total hyde was that her b/f would come into my bar in Sydney and expect discount drinks. I even signed over a company car which was a 9 month old SL500 Benz. I also gave her $65,000 when she said she wanted a deposit for a house to buy with her b/f. I gave it to her on the condition of a divorce.

...................................

I am now so very happy with my wife. I don't care where anyone else came from I would never want to stop with my wife.

Anyone in the forum, am I now stupid or did I say I cheated on my wife

In fact to shorten what I said - She cheated on me, scammed a huge amount of money from me, and then her and associated friends took sides. I was divorced before I met my wife. So if that is cheating, maybe in your eyes, but not in most of the civilized world.

It is clear other people's problems are surfacing

padmae;

does your native language use tense, or is that a luxary only afforded to English, not english language speakers.

My problem I was so #$%@ed-over by the ex.

Can you see I esed the word WAS not the word IS.

Moving along, I have been talking about specifics, it is you who has been generalising.

Now finally padmae, you made a clear and obvious insult towards my wife. Particularly where you were talking about communication. She, reading over my shoulder is quite hurt by your accusation she is uneducated and the only basis of our relationship is one thing.

To me, and my wife that is a proper insult.

This is just offensive to say this

Must be difficult communicating. But then again you're not in the relationship to communicate I take it.

Remember you have made an unprovoked attack on someone who cannot defend herself in this forum.

I see you didn't want to explain that, rather quote a peom.

Well let me give you something to think about.

Sorry I made a typo - so I edited it out.

..... hopefully one day, your medication will work, or be adjusted....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

maybe i am missing something here

when i was in belgium i liked white gals

when i was in la i liked black gals

when i was in mexico i liked chico's

when i was in brazil i liked amazone's

when i was in australia i liked aussie gals

now i am in asia i like asian gals

why....because they just happend to be there

i could not give a hoot about my past misgivings, i just learned to grow-up and get on with my life

always be on the look-out for danger signs, the get going with the next one, such is life

as they say, youth is a mask, live it long and live it fast, you may never get another chance!

Edited December 15, 2004 by kreon

[lowersmiths]

yep - when in rome ..........

[Tornado]

My Grandmother is a western white woman and so is my daughter.

I love Western woman as long as Im not married to one.

I would of spent my life with a white westy girl if they only wanted 50% of the say - they always went that extra yard and I found walking away really easy.

I agree with Tutsi that they are not an enemy and should be highly respected, but some one else can marry em.

I blame Cosmo!

[chuchok]

Yep

[gburns57au]

Why cant white women get off this Thai woman thing ???? they are so paranoid about it.

A white woman here tried to start a support group for white women who had lost their husbands to Thai women....Can you imagine one of the meetings ????....half a dozen overweight women filling their faces with chocolate cake moaning about how the Thai had stole their husbands. If they took care of themselves and had a bit of respect for themselves, they might still have a husband. More men actually leave their wives for caucasion women not for Thais...only a small percentage go for Thai women.

[Boo]

The issue was never the thai women, if the farang guys are all like you then they can have you all with our pity. The issue is guys like you making stupid, ignorant comments about western women becuase you have had problems with one or two in the past.

[meadish_sweetball]

There are good

There are also bad

women

There are good

white women

there are good

Asian women

There are good

white men

there are good Asian men

Strangely enough

there are also bad Western men

and women

and bad Asian men

and women

There are also khatoeys.

[padma]

Mattnich,

You said

"I came here and met my new wife, and she went troppo, all her friends just set on me, and I just felt it better to call it a day and live here. "

Reread your intial post. You didn't say that you were divorced when you meet your current wife. You just wanted to complain about a past relationship and how you were done wrong. And you are upset that I don't give examples of my own. Well I'm a grown up and don't whine and bitch like most men think women do.

How old are you?

Everybody's got a bad story from the past. Most of us are mature enough to get over it.

I saw that you were on here till well past 9:00pm. So much for your candle light dinner.

Sorry your wife is so upset. She can well defend herself if she does read and write english, she can definately post here(though I never posted anything directly about her). Or do you like to do all the speaking(writing) for her.

I never said your wife was uneducated. I was implying that it would be very difficult to communicate with YOU. As you like to nitpick about hearing verses reading when you know what I am trying to say. Why don't you speak for yourself and let your wife speak for herself.

Secondly, I would hate it if I were constantly objectified. Your ex didn't work out and it wasn't because of her race or nationality. Your current wife is great but not because of her race or nationality. I, by the way, am part asian and don't like to date men who have an asian fetish. I wouldn't if I were Thai be with a man because he liked "thai women". That if you don't know is objectification.

In fact, where was your wife in fact educated. Being able to discuss abstract thought in english is very impressive. She must have been educated in the west therefore come from quite a wealthy family. Why she speaks Khmer(a language from the cambodian border) is beyond me. And what would her family name be? I have many wealthly Thai friends here and as you know they all either know each other or know of each other.

And of my western educated Thai friends( some that have PHd's) of whom I respect and learn a great deal from, I still miss the conversations I have back home.

About the poem, there was a specific part I wanted you to read. I posted the whole thing so you wouldn't take it out of context

"But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. "

Do you understand what I'm getting at or it is over your head, Mr. Abstract concepts?

[samran]

Why can't we just look at it this way?

Some people have catch Bamboo fever upon arrival in LOS, some don't.

[padma]

Mattnich,

Therapy is useful for someone who can't get over a relationship of 2 years past...especially when one is currently married.

There's a thin line between love and hate. You can't hate someone unless you love them as well on some level.

Still you've slagged your ex enough without her being able to defend herself.

Who knows what the truth is? Anyone can spin tales on an anonymous forum.

I've got nothing to prove or defend here. I just depise prejudices and whining.

[kenk3z]

To make a random hypothesis about the original post - consider:

Some women make a hobby of breaking up existing relationships. Something of a sense of enjoying the challenge. Once the feat is accomplished then they smile to themselves that they've done it again - and split.

Just a hypothesis mind you - - - -

kenk3z

[chuchok]

Mattnich,

In fact,  where was your wife in fact educated.  Being able to discuss abstract thought in english is very impressive.  She must have been educated in the west therefore come from quite a wealthy family.  Why she speaks Khmer(a language from the cambodian border) is beyond me.  And what would her family name be?  I have many wealthly Thai friends here and as you know they all either know each other or know of each other.

And of my western educated Thai friends( some that have PHd's) of whom I respect and learn a great deal from, I still miss the conversations I have back home.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Padma,

This part of your reply does seem a little snobish

A friend of mine in NZ who has a PHD, would much rather sit down at the pub discussing milk fat production with a bunch of cow cockies (Farmers) than even contemplate talking about abstact thoughtl...each to their own eh.

To get back to the orig argument, the Thai way of thinking can be very different to the western world. To some men this is very appealing. The fun loving attitude can take them miles away from where they were in their western lives. If they like this then good on them.

Personally speaking, I would rather see the twinkle in somebody’s eye and a quick wit than having a chat with an academic.Unless of course they were a funny bugger

People get hurt in relationships break ups and I agree with you that they should get over it.I do think that some women do go over the top and leave lasting scars on some men. I have seen women go to extrodinary lengths to hurt their partner..using kids to bargin etc. This does happen the other way I grant you,but I would put my life savings on the fact that the percentage of women that do this wld far out weigh the number of men who do the same.

My divorce was ok as far as they go...even had the same solicitor.

The above are just my observations.

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor he ll a fury like a woman scorned,"

Edited December 15, 2004 by chuchok

[samran]

Hi, my gf just turned 20 and I am 43. She is Thai. I had 2 divorces from fwc's in the US and then I moved here 2 years ago. My gf here loves me. I think it's great. I could never have done this back home.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Welcome back Joe

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hi Hans, apart from your 'wife' loving you (long time) did you happen to save a city full of poor Cambodian children with your charity work while being chased by bears through the forest as well?

[aughie]

when i was in mexico i liked chico's

Another 'Not that there is anything wrong with it" quote.

Holy smokes! I can read! Lawdy lawdy I'll never drink again.

[Boo]

No one of us has a problem with your or other guys personal preference or choice of asian over western. The point trying to be made here is that, regardless of your experiences with western women there is no need for anyone to make rude or disparaging remarks about ALL western women as your experience, however vast, is still limited in the scheme of things.

I've met some real &lt;deleted&gt; in my life, my own father being one of them but I love men & love their company, I'm married to a great thai man & have no desire for western men, I don't find them attractive & probably never will. As they say, once you've had asian you'll never go back to caucasian. That doesn't mean that I can't be freinds with western guys & have a great group of male friends, I don't treat them with disrepect & make sweeping statements about western men & also don't assume that every older guy with a younger thai women is a paedo & sex tourist as I'm not a bigot, it's just unfortunate that it can't be said of a lot of expats in thailand.

[chuchok]

No one of us has a problem with your or other guys personal preference or choice of asian over western. The point trying to be made here is that, regardless of your experiences with western women there is no need for anyone to make rude or disparaging remarks about ALL western women as your experience, however vast, is still limited in the scheme of things.

I've met some real &lt;deleted&gt; in my life, my own father being one of them but I love men & love their company, I'm married to a great thai man & have no desire for western men, I don't find them attractive & probably never will. As they say, once you've had asian you'll never go back to caucasian. That doesn't mean that I can't be freinds with western guys & have a great group of male friends, I don't treat them with disrepect & make sweeping statements about western men & also don't assume that every older guy with a younger thai women is a paedo & sex tourist as I'm not a bigot, it's just unfortunate that it can't be said of a lot of expats in thailand.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Great post Boo.

One thing that you mentioned is the same thing that alot of guys say..they don't find farung women attractive. That one really gets me scratching my head. There are fantastic looking people of all races..arn't there?

Edited December 15, 2004 by chuchok

[Axel]

Mattnich, I hope you still made your dinner.

Actually, I would have said 'Yes Dear', latest after the second attack and left.

padma: Takusan hanashimashita keredomo watakushi mata wakaranai:

(you talked a lot but I still don't know)

Are White Women Really All That Bad?

Try to reply to this subject, I gave my answer alreaady, NO!

Then, of course, there are always exceptions to th rule.

[Boo]

Totally agree with you Chuchok, there are great looking people of all races, but I can find a person attractive (personality wise) with out being attracted to them, if that makes sense. I frequently see women that I think are beautiful too but it doesn't mean I want to jump into bed with them either Maybe it's because I'm happily married & fancy the pants off my fella but I have to admit that darker skin & long black hair have always played a part in my attraction to men but hubbies personality, mannerisms & way of thinking also attracted me. He was the whole package & his looks were obviously the first thing I saw in him (shortly followed by his love of really naff heavy metal music)

[Khutan]

In fact,  where was your wife in fact educated.  Being able to discuss abstract thought in english is very impressive.  She must have been educated in the west therefore come from quite a wealthy family.  Why she speaks Khmer(a language from the cambodian border) is beyond me.  And what would her family name be?  I have many wealthly Thai friends here and as you know they all either know each other or know of each other.

And of my western educated Thai friends( some that have PHd's) of whom I respect and learn a great deal from, I still miss the conversations I have back home.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

1. What business is it of yours where my wife was educated. Or are you advocating Academic elitism ?

2. Why does it matter if she speaks, reads and writes Khmer, so do I.

There are many reasons why.

3. You want me to post my wife's family name ???? You have to be joking - go and take your medication, and read the forum guidelines.

I am not goint to post anything more on this thread about my wife. Your overbearing manner is just shocking.

There is a great deal of insinuation in wahat you said.

This has to be one of the most snobbish and overbearing posts I have read in a long time on this forum.

You have done alot to advanve the cause of misogyny today - be proud of your achievements.

I am not going to bother replying to your insults further.

[padma]

Axel,

Mata yonde, kangaete kudasae.

What do you deduct from reading my posts.

I'm not a white women but I sure don't think they deserve the the abuse they recieve on this forum. Like I said I don't like predudices, therefore I will close to say there are good and bad PEOPLE of ALL races.

Chochok,

I was only replying to Mattnich statement that he and his wife enjoyed conversations that included abstract thought. Somewhat tired of him spinning tales to either prove something or to feel sorry for him.

I enjoy all conversations but sometimes do miss some conversations that I could only have at home. Even stupid humour goes over the heads of people that understand the language but aren't familiar with some cultural context.

Just like some Americans can't appreciate British humour.

Ravisher,

You seem like a great guy...really you do...I've enjoyed reading alot of your posts.

But come on, you've told the same tale about your past over 20 times.

I think everyone on here knows you've been burnt. I'm happy to know that you are currently in a great relationship. But perhaps after 60 years of living you've learnt a thing or 2. I know for a fact I was different in a relationship 10 years ago than I am now.

[padma]

Mattnich,

No just calling your bluff.

Sure, sure...whatever you say.

You talk alot of (*&(&) with no proof or evidence.

You talk alot of &*^(*^ about people who have no way of telling their side of the story.

You just talk alot of *&*(

Please Matt please let your wife speak for herself.

I would love to conversations about abstract concepts in English with a Thai women. I've meet several intelligent western educated Thai people and funny thing they don't care to have conversations about abtract concepts.

[motif]

mattnich

I have an ex wife I am currently in the process on divorcing. haven't given her my number here. Why would you take calls from a ex and her friendsif you were divorced and why do they have your number? I've been here 3 months and some of my friends don't know where to call me. Advice for the future hang up the phone or change your number.

Women are great! I can still say that after a bad marriage. I may be in the wrong place because my preference is a tall blonde with blue eyes.

[padma]

Mattnich,

Just saw that you posted in another thread that you are 41 and your wife is 23.

Well even if your wife were white we could deduct what this is about. How does a 23 year old relate to a 41 year old never mind the difference in culture and upbringing. Certainly you really don't think we all believe you are with a girl of 23 for her stimulating converation.

A 23 year old girl if she has the choice if life would enjoy her youth not spend it with a 41 year old divorcee. Don't tell me she more mature than her age.

I was a very serious mature 22 year old with my own business and I had the freedom and fortune to have a great time in my 20's.

I'll stick to what I originally posted:

When you come from more you put up with less

[fourbaht]

Personally I just don't like big fat hairy beavers, much prefer clean perfumed one that looks like a burger side on.

[ZOVOX]

As they say, once you've had asian you'll never go back to caucasian.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Amen, to that !!