When To Wai?

[schmokinn]

having just read a previous post i am confused...i thought it was a mark of respect or thanks to wai...

i wai to my wifes mother and her family...monks as well

am i right or wrong?

and secondly what is the correct wai???

sorry for that couldnt resist

any info appreciated

cheers

[PvtDick]

Very generally, only initiate a wai to someone who is your elder and/or status superior. When in doubt, don't do it -- as ultimately farangs aren't expected to anyway.

It is almost always safe to return a wai, although many Thais will not return a wai to a small child -- and when doing so, will make it a "low" wai (mid-chest).

Many Thai will also not return a wai to a member of the servant class who is welcoming or thanking them: i.e., a waiter wai'ing when receiving payment for a meal, or a hostess wai'ing them a welcome to a restaurant.

[gburns57au]

Very generally, only initiate a wai to someone who is your elder and/or status superior.  When in doubt, don't do it -- as ultimately farangs aren't expected to anyway.

It is almost always safe to return a wai, although many Thais will not return a wai to a small child -- and when doing so, will make it a "low" wai (mid-chest). 

Many Thai will also not return a wai to a member of the servant class who is welcoming or thanking them:  i.e., a waiter wai'ing when receiving payment for a meal, or a hostess wai'ing them a welcome to a restaurant.

Thats about right.....if you are unsure...offer a handshake instead. My first trip I went to a village wat and the head monk came over and shook my hand, thereby negating any embarassment for me....I was very thankful of that but it shows that they understand that a handshake is to a farang, what a wai is to the Thai.

higher wai's for more important people.....eg; For a high ranking official the thumbs would be around your forehead.....for a monk , the bridge of the nose, for a teacher, the lips....for parents or elders, the chin....for others the tip of the fingers about the lip/chin level. Now I am only using this as an example and am not saying that the examples are set in stone.

the other point is that they do understand that we make mistakes and will generally laugh it off.....When I was married in the village with the monks, at a point in the ceremony my ex wai'd to me and I returned it...well I was nervous and just a touch unsure. The officiating Monk held it in for a while and then started laughing...soon everyone was having a good giggle about it...no harm done.

[gburns57au]

having just read a previous post i am confused...i thought it was a mark of respect or thanks to wai...

i wai to my wifes mother and her family...monks as well

am i right or wrong?

and secondly what is the correct wai???

sorry for that couldnt resist

any info appreciated

cheers

I had a friend who wai'd to anyone in an orange robe and told me I should wai to my ex's parents every morning and night....I noticed that no one else did this so I would wai to the parents at the first meeting of the trip and at the end of the trip unless they gave me something special or did something special for me.

As far as monks go....only wai if you are going to engage in conversation with them. The same as you would do with a handshake.

[think_too_mut]

Very generally, only initiate a wai to someone who is your elder and/or status superior.  When in doubt, don't do it -- as ultimately farangs aren't expected to anyway.

It is almost always safe to return a wai, although many Thais will not return a wai to a small child -- and when doing so, will make it a "low" wai (mid-chest). 

Many Thai will also not return a wai to a member of the servant class who is welcoming or thanking them:  i.e., a waiter wai'ing when receiving payment for a meal, or a hostess wai'ing them a welcome to a restaurant.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wai your mother/father in law, if you have them, nose high.

Others, if you must, smile, nod and offer a hanshake.

The monks I took to the house did not wai me, one sensed there were the Smashing Pumpkins in the CD, toned down. Recognized the song and asked me - to crank it up. He had a very good English, who knows what had happened to him before

Ignore those saying it will be regarded as a nice try to comply with their culture. A nonsense.

You can only look stupid. Everydays Thais have no idea of any culture, have no idea of the world around, ignorance all along.

Just be a polite guest.

[maitembot]

Ignore those saying it will be regarded as a nice try to comply with their culture. A nonsense.

You can only look stupid. Everydays Thais have no idea of any culture, have no idea of the world around, ignorance all along.

You are the ignorant clod, sputtering such bigoted crap.

[think_too_mut]

Ignore those saying it will be regarded as a nice try to comply with their culture. A nonsense.

You can only look stupid. Everydays Thais have no idea of any culture, have no idea of the world around, ignorance all along.

You are the ignorant clod, sputtering such bigoted crap.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You'll have to say it again. Did not hear. Do you have any Thais around you right now?

Ask them what Lumpini park is named after. Their own culture and their religion. Will have no idea, may even ask "why you know".

[meadish_sweetball]

Be considerate of Thai culture and by all means learn the rules, but only observe the ones you feel comfortable with, is my advice. Do not do things that make you feel very awkward, because it will show. Use common sense.

By adjusting TOO much to Thai culture just for the sake of it, you will not gain much. Remember that you still have to "prove yourself" to every new Thai you meet... and there are no Gold Stars for the one who adjusts the most except for the odd compliment.

To say that Thais have no idea of any culture is a statement most Thais and farangs would consider VERY impolite. I would say most Thais have more knowledge of Chinese culture than the average Westerner.

[Spee]

any info appreciated

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

May I suggest ...

http://www.thingsasian.com/goto_article/article.1228.html

and/or ....

http://www.thaistudents.com/thebeach/thaiwai.html

[cdnvic]

Ignore those saying it will be regarded as a nice try to comply with their culture. A nonsense.

You can only look stupid. Everydays Thais have no idea of any culture, have no idea of the world around, ignorance all along.

You are the ignorant clod, sputtering such bigoted crap.

You'll have to say it again. Did not hear. Do you have any Thais around you right now?

Ask them what Lumpini park is named after. Their own culture and their religion. Will have no idea, may even ask "why you know".

Can't name a park? Big deal. Same goes for alot of countries. If you think thais have no clue about their culture you need to stop being so bitter and snarky and have a look around you. You're own ignorance is showing through big time here.

cv

[meadish_sweetball]

Ignore those saying it will be regarded as a nice try to comply with their culture. A nonsense.

You can only look stupid. Everydays Thais have no idea of any culture, have no idea of the world around, ignorance all along.

You are the ignorant clod, sputtering such bigoted crap.

You'll have to say it again. Did not hear. Do you have any Thais around you right now?

Ask them what Lumpini park is named after. Their own culture and their religion. Will have no idea, may even ask "why you know".

How many foreigners reading this do you think know?

What is Hyde Park named after?

Champs Elysées?

Please answer without using Google.

[2 satang]

having just read a previous post i am confused...i thought it was a mark of respect or thanks to wai...

i wai to my wifes mother and her family...monks as well

am i right or wrong?

and secondly what is the correct wai???

sorry for that couldnt resist

any info appreciated

cheers

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dont wai at all, just bow the head slightly in doubt.

That will avoid making a fool of yourself......

just my 2 satang

[PvtDick]

Do you have any Thais around you right now?

Ask them what Lumpini park is named after. Their own culture and their religion. Will have no idea, may even ask "why you know".

My wife says, "it's named after the birthplace of the Lord Buddha, you freakin' moron".

[cdnvic]

Dont wai at all, just bow the head slightly in doubt.

That will avoid making a fool of yourself......

just my 2 satang

Two thais that think like all you who can't take time to learn local customs:

"When I go to Europe, when is it proper to shake hands?"

"Don't shake hands, you'll make a fool of yourself. Just wai slightly"

cv

Edited December 15, 2004 by cdnvic

[think_too_mut]

Ignore those saying it will be regarded as a nice try to comply with their culture. A nonsense.

You can only look stupid. Everydays Thais have no idea of any culture, have no idea of the world around, ignorance all along.

You are the ignorant clod, sputtering such bigoted crap.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You'll have to say it again. Did not hear. Do you have any Thais around you right now?

Ask them what Lumpini park is named after. Their own culture and their religion. Will have no idea, may even ask "why you know".

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

How many foreigners reading this do you think know?

Please answer without using Google.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Some people have gained their education long before Google existed. Some, many decades ago.

[2 satang]

Dont wai at all, just bow the head slightly in doubt.

That will avoid making a fool of yourself......

just my 2 satang

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Two thais that think like all you who can't take time to learn local customs:

"When I go to Europe, when is it proper to shake hands?"

"Don't shake hands, you'll make a fool of yourself. Just wai slightly"

cv

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Right...... and most newbies step inside a bar and start waiing all the BGs like idiots.... or waitresses in restaurants, or ticket attendants at the palace.

Yeah right !

To each his own.

just my 2 satang

[Ajarn]

Ignore those saying it will be regarded as a nice try to comply with their culture. A nonsense.

You can only look stupid. Everydays Thais have no idea of any culture, have no idea of the world around, ignorance all along.

You are the ignorant clod, sputtering such bigoted crap.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You'll have to say it again. Did not hear. Do you have any Thais around you right now?

Ask them what Lumpini park is named after. Their own culture and their religion. Will have no idea, may even ask "why you know".

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

How many foreigners reading this do you think know?

Please answer without using Google.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Some people have gained their education long before Google existed. Some, many decades ago.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

We ALL have a lot more to learn, na'?

And ALL of us are too hard-headed sometimes, na'?

Edited December 15, 2004 by Ajarn

[Abandon]

The monks I took to the house did not wai me, one sensed there.....

Just a note - it is not socially permitted for a monk to wai a layperson, a novice or even the King Himself, so don't expect a monk to return the wai. They aren't being impolite or arrogant - that's just the social rule. Monks only wai other monks.

[think_too_mut]

The monks I took to the house did not wai me, one sensed there.....

Just a note - it is not socially permitted for a monk to wai a layperson, a novice or even the King Himself, so don't expect a monk to return the wai. They aren't being impolite or arrogant - that's just the social rule. Monks only wai other monks.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I know that, what was said was in reply to someone who had said the monks waied him.

[Ajarn]

Who here said a monk wai'd them? I didn't see any such comment...

Am I the one who's nuts (again)?

[Thaigrr]

Very generally, only initiate a wai to someone who is your  status superior. 

No one on this Earth is my superior so I wouldn't wai to anyone for that reason.

However, I do 'wai' as a way of saying hello if my hands happen to be free and I don't think the person I'm wai-ing thinks they are superior to me.

I ain't never in my life kissed anyone's ass, and I ain't goin' start now.

Edited December 16, 2004 by Thaigrr

[kreon]

for me...i don't wai unless they wai to me

this was an advise fom my old thai partner....he was damned right too

miss you buddy wherever you are!

[Neeranam]

To say that Thais have no idea of any culture is a statement most Thais and farangs would consider VERY impolite. I would say most Thais have more knowledge of Chinese culture than the average Westerner.

I wonder why?

Could it be all the "rubbish" that is on the telly.

[Neeranam]

No one on this Earth is my superior so I wouldn't wai to anyone for that reason.

Yeah right

[samran]

Very generally, only initiate a wai to someone who is your  status superior. 

No one on this Earth is my superior so I wouldn't wai to anyone for that reason.

However, I do 'wai' as a way of saying hello if my hands happen to be free and I don't think the person I'm wai-ing thinks they are superior to me.

I ain't never in my life kissed anyone's ass, and I ain't goin' start now.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It's OK to have that attitude, many Thai's do. But if you want to get along in LOS, humour them. It works as it doesn't give justification for someone to be rude to you.

My trick, wai a police officer, and they will always be nice.

[gburns57au]

Very generally, only initiate a wai to someone who is your  status superior. 

No one on this Earth is my superior so I wouldn't wai to anyone for that reason.

However, I do 'wai' as a way of saying hello if my hands happen to be free and I don't think the person I'm wai-ing thinks they are superior to me.

I ain't never in my life kissed anyone's ass, and I ain't goin' start now.

The term was status superior......unless you are the highest ranking monarch in the world or God then there will always be someone superior to you in status....Being respectful and polite is not kissing ass, it is showing cultural understanding and tolerence, Something you seem to lack judging by your post.

[PvtDick]

You're going to do real well in Thailand, Ravisher. Just hope you don't have to deal with anyone who matters.

[Jockstar]

Why oh why, Wai?

Joking!

[PvtDick]

You're going to do real well in Thailand, Ravisher.  Just hope you don't have to deal with anyone who matters.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I have dealt with people who matter in Greece, Turkey and Morocco from government level to Mafia level and never had any problems. I think it the same in any country. If you 'allow' people to look down on you, they will. Then, any respect they did have for you disappears altogether, and your self-respect is gone too. It is all about keeping a 'balance'.

And if I found people who were so far up thier own arrses, then I would not do business.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You obviously equate initiating a "wai" with kissing ass, or putting yourself in a submissive position, which couldn't be farther from the truth. You have a lot to learn about Thailand.

[Ajarn]

I think that balance is a good point of reference here, too. I like being friendly and trusting and generous, but I can't always really, for my own safety. There are plenty of people who will victimize you in some way if you give them room.. I must find balance in my actions, to be sure...

But the wai is about politeness, and I don't feel I've ever come across a situation where politeness and civilty would weaken me, or cause me to see myself as kissing ass.

That judgement is purely mine alone unless the lips touch the butt. If someone chooses to try to treat me like I'm kissing their ass, well, that's a basic issue of respect. Nothing to do with my being polite or civil. I don't accept undeserved disrespect from anyone either, and I always deal with that head-on. Otherwise, they will get the wrong message about me....