GungaDin Posted January 7, 2009 Share Posted January 7, 2009 In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Myer hairdryer: 'Do not use while sleeping'. (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?) On a bar of Palmolive soap: 'Directions: Use like regular soap'. (And that would be how???) On some frozen dinners: 'Serving suggestion: Defrost'. (But, it's just a suggestion). On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): 'Do not turn upside down'. (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)! On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: 'Product will be hot after heating'. (And you thought????...) On packaging for a K-Mart iron: 'Do not iron clothes on body'. (But wouldn't this save me more time?) On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: 'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication'. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid: 'Warning: May cause drowsiness'. (And...I'm taking this because???) On most brands of Christmas lights: 'For indoor or outdoor use only'. (As opposed to...what?) On a Japanese food processor: 'Not to be used for the other use'. (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.) On Nobby's peanuts: 'Warning: contains nuts'. (Talk about a news flash!) On an American Airlines packet of nuts: 'Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts'. (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?) I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one: On a child's superman costume: 'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly'. On a Swedish chainsaw: 'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals'. (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crossy Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 (edited) A few more from various internet sites Liquid Plummer Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages. Toilet Plunger Caution: Do not use near power lines. Dremel Electric Rotary Tool This product not intended for use as a dental drill. Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter Safe to use around pets. Bowl Fresh Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet. Endust Duster This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances. Baby Oil Keep out of reach of children Little Ones Baby Lotion Keep away from children Hair Coloring Do not use as an ice cream topping. Stridex Foaming Face Wash May contain foam. Zantac 75 Do not take if allergic to zantac. Komatsu Floodlight This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark Earplugs These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe Mattress Warning: Do not attempt to swallow Matches Caution: Contents may catch fire. Pepper Spray Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes. Fix-a-Flat WARNING: Do not weld can to rim. Rain Gauge Suitable for outdoor use. RCA Television Remote Control Not Dishwasher Safe Pine Mountain Fire Logs Caution: Risk of fire Triops Fish Food Warning: Not for human consumption Home Depot Treated Lumber Do not consume Camera This camera will only work when film is inside. Air Conditioner Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows. Slush Puppy Cup This ice may be cold Nabisco Easy Cheese For best results, remove cap. Hershey's Almond Bar Warning: May contain traces of nuts 500-piece puzzle: Some assembly required. Chainsaw Do not attempt to stop chain with hands. Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. Hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head. Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. Korean kitchen knife: Warning keep out of children Helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists: Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you New Zealand insect spray: This product not tested on animals. Blanket from Taiwan: not to be used as protection from a tornado Infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water. Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges: Not meant as substitute for human companionship. Disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake. Bottle of shampoo for dogs Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish. Hand-held Massaging Device Do not use while sleeping or unconscious. Case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket. Do not place this product into any electronic equipment. A toilet at a public sports facility Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking. Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover. 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow Not intended for highway use. Can of self-defense pepper spray. May irritate eyes. A frisbee Warning: May contain small parts. A toilet bowl cleaning brush. Do not use orally. A birthday card for a 1 year old. Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less. Can of air freshener. For use by trained personnel only. Silly Putty Do not use as ear plugs. Rat Poison Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice. Portable stroller Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage. Package of dice. Not for human consumption. Manual for an SGI computer. Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers. Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death. Wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack Remove plastic before eating. Instructions for a cordless phone: Do not put lit candles on phone. Sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building Take care: new non-slip surface. Can of black pepper. Instructions: usage known. Espresso Kettle The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position. Label on a hammer Caution - Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object VCR box Instructional video on hooking up VCR included. Black rubber fishing worm Not for human consumption. Orange Juice Can: 100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate. Furniture Wipes Do not use for a baby wipe. Stickers to put on the seat of a potty training toilet This is not a toy. Stickers require adult supervision. Bottle of bathtub cleaner For best results, start with clean bathtub before use. Box of household nails CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation! Woolite carpet cleaner Safe for carpets, too! Container of salt Warning: High in sodium Edited January 8, 2009 by Crossy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GungaDin Posted January 8, 2009 Author Share Posted January 8, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warfie Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Nice to have the occasional reminder of stupid world I left behind... I found a box of toothpicks with instructions in Australia: "Hold Toothpick near the centre of it's length, moisten with saliva and insert pointed between teeth using a gentle in-out motion" Necessary? apparently... I'm outta here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GungaDin Posted January 8, 2009 Author Share Posted January 8, 2009 Not in 7 languages? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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