Patong Behavior

[onni4me]

Greetings from Phuket. Visited there since my friend insisted. I knew it would be rather dull since he is not into drinking or late nights or anything unhealthy. Maybe it's because he is younger than I am? Principles and so on.

Anyway, one evening when my friend went to bed at his usual time 9 PM, I left to Patong Beach thinking that it might give me some insight whether Patong has changed during these two years that I have been absent. Well, nothing much. Some new shops, new restaurants that start to be as expensive as in Europe, usual merchants with their pushers and so on. So I decided to have couple of amber liquids poured down my throat and headed to area that could best be described as seedy. Some bars were clean and nice, some rightforward sleezy.

What followed was that in three first places I was forced to ask an early bill and exit since the staff made very clear that they wanted me to go upstairs with them for a massage. When I refused, they simply turned nasty and made remarks. Nice, I had even bought them some beer since I am trying to comfort people. The fact that I can understand some Thai didn't seem to disturb them since they had very bad attitudes.

I could have understood this if it would been jsut one place and its staff but Patong seems to go very bad direction. It wasn't enjoyable couple of years ago and certainly is not now.

Last place I visited gave me some hope, though. There was a guy from Esaan, a region that I inhabit and he was a nice fellow. Witty, pretty and gay, as they sing in a song. Or wherever that was. He saved my evening and thanks to him for that.

I am just wondering is this the direction of gay nightlife in Thailand? Not even an attempt to please? Seeing us as money bags or ATMs? Not a pretty future in my mind.

Any experience guys?

[PeaceBlondie]

I think it depends which bars you go to. Not in terms of seediness exactly. If you know it is a go go place full of boy that want to go off for a price, of course they will feel rejected and act accordingly. I do not know Pattaya, but in Chiang Mai, you should know which places are which. I used to know which boy could be persuaded at a certain non-pickup bar, but I enjoyed the company of staff and fellow customers as I wished.

[huggybear]

Anyway, one evening when my friend went to bed at his usual time 9 PM,

What followed was that in three first places I was forced to ask an early bill and exit since the staff made very clear that they wanted me to go upstairs with them for a massage. When I refused, they simply turned nasty and made remarks.

Sorry, I am not gay, and navigate the forum by the last post links on the right, but hope you will enlighten me a little as I go to Patong every-once-inawhile, actually have a lady friend that owns a bar there.

1. goes to bed at 9pm? huh? Your friend is either 5 years old or 85

2. I'm curious of the places you were in that got nasty when you wouldn't go upstairs..? Are these gay places? The reason I ask is that this has NEVER happened to me with bargirls,o.k. maybe some pressure to buy ladydrinks but definitely not nasty if you say no, but I do not know the situation with barboys.

[PeaceBlondie]

I am sorry; should have seen this coming. Discussions of bargirls and barboys is not permitted. Topic will be closed if it continues.

[Scott]

Don't know about Patong, but this behavior isn't all that uncommon. I think one of the problems may have been that you might have been giving off a mixed vibe--boyfriend home, a few beers and maybe a good time??? When places are rather sleazy, people don't usually stop for the ambiance and they may have been genuinely confused (or you could have been)--a bit of projection on my part as I would have been upstairs before 9:30!

Sorry to hear your experience wasn't a positive one.

[Tyke]

I think it depends which bars you go to. Not in terms of seediness exactly. If you know it is a go go place full of boy that want to go off for a price, of course they will feel rejected and act accordingly. I do not know Pattaya, but in Chiang Mai, you should know which places are which. I used to know which boy could be persuaded at a certain non-pickup bar, but I enjoyed the company of staff and fellow customers as I wished.

I am sorry; should have seen this coming. Discussions of bargirls and barboys is not permitted. Topic will be closed if it continues.

Edited January 18, 2009 by Tyke

[onni4me]

What comes to my friend he is in his 30's, younger than me and personally I am the type to have late nights when he enjoys swimming and sports early morning (sic!).

Maybe I was misleading, the places were not go-gos rather like beer bars with liberal atttitudes. I was merely trying to sit there and have a glimpse of the street life drinking my beer and not to engage in any short (or long) encounter. The staff should follow what the customer wants and all I wanted was a drink and talk not to observe their skills in the art of massage. What I found extremely rude was that even paying them drinks was not enough just to let me sit there comfortably.

I believe in pleasing the customer and they should too. Its not all about bang-bang and next one in the line.

Basicly I have avoided Patong (and Phuket) since it seems to be place where they try to rip you off without any quality service attached to their offer. I simply prefer other places in Thailand better. Luckily there are plenty.

[Ijustwannateach]

Onni, it's not "gay nightlife" you're asking about. It's "tourist-oriented commercial naughty nightlife"- in Phuket at that. Why worry over it; you're no tourist and there are plenty of normal, functional Thais and Thai places to drink, etc.-

[onni4me]

Onni, it's not "gay nightlife" you're asking about. It's "tourist-oriented commercial naughty nightlife"- in Phuket at that. Why worry over it; you're no tourist and there are plenty of normal, functional Thais and Thai places to drink, etc.-

Well, two points here. If it genuinely would be 'tourist-orientated' why they don't try to keep their customers and add value to their services? And what comes to Phuket, I see it as a holiday island that is quite diveded between the town, where people live and the beaches where us farangs stay. For this reason the choice is much between the not-so-nice town or the expensive - and in this case - not so well-performing commercial scene.

The much appreciated Thai smile comes with a bitter aftertaste at least in this case. Granted, I am not tourist in the normal sense but I still would like to get some value for my Baht - after all, I was there like a semitourist!

And I truly hope that I don't run into this kind of behavior in gay circles as a norm.

[Ijustwannateach]

Well, again, the places you're talking about are not 'gay circles.' They are tourist circles that happen to cater to gay tourists.

And services are not exactly always customer oriented here. The types who wind up in the tourist sector are not always from the top drawer of Thai life intellectually- many will not even have finished high school, and if they did get lucky and go to university a lot of them would have studied soft options like 'tourism' or 'communication.' I'm sure you must have experienced poor service somewhere else in Thailand? You don't try to 'improve' the place; you vote with your feet and don't go back.

Anyway, I don't judge anything about gay Thailand, gay circles, or Thai standards of service from the kinds of things that happen in tourist areas- just try to avoid them as much as I can. And I'd put Phuket in a special 'unreal' category along with Pattaya, Patpong/Silom/Sathorn, Samui, and Chiang Mai!!! (loosely speaking).

Are you sure you're not a tourist?

[onni4me]

Anyway, I don't judge anything about gay Thailand, gay circles, or Thai standards of service from the kinds of things that happen in tourist areas- just try to avoid them as much as I can. And I'd put Phuket in a special 'unreal' category along with Pattaya, Patpong/Silom/Sathorn, Samui, and Chiang Mai!!! (loosely speaking).

Are you sure you're not a tourist?

Agreed 100%. I would not have been there without my friends special request anyway.

There is a small tourist inside all of us.

[frodo77]

My bf and I have visited Phuket before and after the Tsunami, and we noticed that the locals were in general a lot more unfriendly post Tsunami. We don't plan on returning.

[Miserere]

I think it depends which bars you go to. Not in terms of seediness exactly. If you know it is a go go place full of boy that want to go off for a price, of course they will feel rejected and act accordingly. I do not know Pattaya, but in Chiang Mai, you should know which places are which. I used to know which boy could be persuaded at a certain non-pickup bar, but I enjoyed the company of staff and fellow customers as I wished.

I am sorry; should have seen this coming. Discussions of bargirls and barboys is not permitted. Topic will be closed if it continues.

Exactly my thoughts.

[bruceboy]

People are people, anywhere in the world.

[mgs]

Hi

Why are discussions about bargirls and barboys banned?

x

[Ijustwannateach]

There are two short answers to your question: 1. This website operates in Thailand, where Thai law makes a wide variety of activities illegal or semi-illegal. Open admission and/or discussion of such activities attracts the attention and disapproval of authorities, and therefore they are not discussed openly on the forum. 2. The owner makes the rules, and that is one of the rules.

I should also mention that open discussion of the rules and moderation is restricted; if you want more information, post in Forum Support, PM a mod or admin, or email [email protected].

Some discreet and disguised references to restricted topics are possible; you'll get the flavour of it if you read in this subforum long enough. Most of our members find enough to talk about; besides, it's nice to have at least one gay website where there is at least an attempt to keep things real.

[FarangFatal]

Soi Paradise... isn't ther a site like GayPatong....... Look a friend owns a straight salon massage on Soi Paradise, Twin Hearts Salon... so I'm up there often... during the day. However there seems to be lots of Gay bars but on that sicks out is "Flying Handbag" I gather, from the few gay gents I know who are staff at my regular hotel, tis not the hot spot for the younger gay set. Seems like just the the older group of gay guys work that area!

[yumidesign]

There are two short answers to your question: 1. This website operates in Thailand, where Thai law makes a wide variety of activities illegal or semi-illegal. Open admission and/or discussion of such activities attracts the attention and disapproval of authorities, and therefore they are not discussed openly on the forum. 2. The owner makes the rules, and that is one of the rules.

I should also mention that open discussion of the rules and moderation is restricted; if you want more information, post in Forum Support, PM a mod or admin, or email [email protected].

Some discreet and disguised references to restricted topics are possible; you'll get the flavour of it if you read in this subforum long enough. Most of our members find enough to talk about; besides, it's nice to have at least one gay website where there is at least an attempt to keep things real.

I get your drift and accept being in LOS is a double edged sword, just being here means that we are participating in things we may find wrong - but are we really talking about just lowering the tone, hould we not show some courage in the ideal of freedom of speech

[Ijustwannateach]

You are free to show all the courage you wish to on your own web site. Really, go for it! However, once again, discussion of rules (or whether there should be rules) is off-topic on the public forum and should be taken up by PM to mods, admin, or email to [email protected]. Further attempts to take the discussion on this thread in this direction may result in warnings or penalties.

[onni4me]

I get your drift and accept being in LOS is a double edged sword, just being here means that we are participating in things we may find wrong - but are we really talking about just lowering the tone, hould we not show some courage in the ideal of freedom of speech

You haven't really given much thought to the circumstances in LOS. There are many things that are illegal as subjects of discussion. Unfortunately, there is little we can do about that. I agree with you that there SHOULD be freedom of speech but as you may have noticed that freedom is not completely fulfilled even in the West.

But this thread was about my experience in Phuket not about freedom of speech.