You read the subtitles at the movies rather than listen to the english

... when you examine knock-off sunglasses and watches with a discriminating eye,

You read the subtitles at the movies rather than listen to the english

When you here that OldCroc's house got hit by lightning at 5:25 - you rush out and buy 25 & 52 in the "Lotto".

Sorry Crocs.........

When you put beer in your ice.

For the men: When you shave with 2 coins whilst driving

For the ladies: When you check your reflection during an argument to see if you do it like the actress in TV drama last night

When ya Thai g/f stops saying.........

"Up to you",

......and gives a positive answer.....LOL

Yep, you've been in Thailand too long...

..when you've successfully convinced yourself that your relatively high social status was actually deserved in some way and you start to give yourself credit for this achievement.

when you do understand perfectly well the orders which are said to you to be done or to be accomplished and you would respond after 10 minutes in a total no-face-expressions while uttering innocently "mai kho jai"' while scratching the dandruff in your scalp

and you'll easily get away with it while your boss hits the roof !

when you crave Tom Yum Kung for breakfast, you have definitely been in Thailand toooooooo long.

How do you shave with 2 coins????

when you speak Thai with your Farang friends

How do you shave with 2 coins????

not long enough in Thailand!

the coins are used as tweezers

....You return to England and after 90 days find yourself driving to Wales on a visa run

When, whilst riding-side saddle pillion to work and another moto comes out of the side soi, stopping suddenly in front of you, causing your driver to brake hard and causing you to leap with cat-like agility into the gutter to save you from being catapulted forward, you respond with a nod and a smile and then go on your way, secretly plotting your revenge.

You've had enough culture shock and want to go home for some relative normality.

When you shout slogans in front of Governement House.

When a truck full of monkeys and coconuts blows by you, one of which is smoking. and you think to yourself man it must be 5 pm already!

when your wear a yellow shirt and camp at the airport

'You know you've been in Thailand too long when:'

You try to get out and can't!

You know you have been too long in Thailand

when you find out that wearing a "sarong" is the most practical dress.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

No matter how long I'm in Thailand I'll never wear one of those horrible "paakamas"!

They just don't work for Farang...and look a little stupid on 'em too.

I like the Burmese 'Longyi' around the house and in bed ....and the fisherman's pants at all other times ( and you say to thais who look at you oddly that....'you wear our jeans...which are more suited to a cold climate...so i wear these which are looser and cotton and better in your climate...that's why they were designed here...and they smile)

when you have made an error when driving or riding and caused another road user to have to brake or swerve, or vice-versa, and you automatically just smile at them...and they return it

When you're on a first name basis with the local police chief...

When you see a morsel of a shellfish and consider collecting it because it would be good to make naam plaa...

Your friends tell you that your thai daughter now speaks better english than your pigeon mumblings...

You are actually interested in the price of rubber today...

You would rather shower with a bucket....

You no longer show thais where things are / ask for directions on a map... because you finally realise you are the only one that knows, or even cares how to read said map..!

when you recycle fish bones.

Your tgf gets you to make the prik naam plaa 'because you make very good'.

when you recycle toothpicks.

You set the table with a spoon and fork... regardless of what is being served...

You know you've been in Thailand too long when:

You think it's normal to have a beer at 9:00 a.m.

You begin to enjoy Thai TV programs.

You look four ways before crossing a one way street.

You realize that ALL your problems are caused by Thai girls or cranky ATMs.

You put salt and chilli on your fruit

A Thai cop stops you for a minor infraction and you automatically reach for your wallet.

You think that a Honda Civic is a prestigious car.

All your tee-shirts are emblazoned with the name of some bar.

You can't remember the last time you wore a suit and tie.

You think a polo shirt and jeans are formal attire.

Someone tells you that watching Thai politics is like watching two chameleons making love and you understand the analogy.

You aren't upset when the bar girl next to you eats beetles as a snack.

Later the same night, you actually kiss the bar girl who earlier dined on the beetles.

You haven't had a solid stool for five years.

You wake up in the morning and realize that you have nowhere to go and all day to get there.

You think white wine goes well with Som Tam.

You understand when your Thai wife says, 'My friend you' or 'Same, same, but different.'

A Thai bar girl you've just met tells you that her mother is deathly ill and you just laugh and walk away.

You realize that your Thai wife's loyalties belong to

1. Her parents.

2. Her brats from a previous marriage to a Thai scoundrel who deserted her.

3. Any remaining blood relatives.

4. The family buffalo.

5. The family's goldfish.

6. You.

The Thai Navy buys a new submarine and you're not surprised when the first thing they do is remove the mufflers and hang a garland from the rear view mirror.

You consider you mobile phone a fashion accessory.

You start wearing slippers everywhere

You start driving cars barefeet

You no longer enjoy Songkran. Instead, you stay home with a stack of videotapes.

You become an expert on buying and selling gold jewellery

Dogs become animals you'd rather kick than pet.

When driving a car you'll start using every free inch of the road.

You flash your 4 indicator lights when driving straight on at an intersection.

It's two days before payday, so you only go to bars with balloons strung outside.

You realize that all the important words in Thai begin with the letter 'S'. Sanuk (Fun), Saduak (convenient), Sabai (comfortable), Suay pretty).

You believe that buying a gold chain is an acceptable courtship ritual, or at least a form of foreplay.

You think a calendar more useful than a watch.

You go to a Thai Boxing match and a soccer game breaks out.

You stand in the shadow of a telephone pole while waiting for a bus.

you know when you have been here too long when it does not trouble you when you see a man walking down the street with a girl old enough to be his daughter

when a young child cleans your car window long past their bedtime and you feel no saddness

and when you see the ruling corrupt elite going about it's way and think you should say and doing nothing

....when you can tell the difference between the "I-have-no-idea-what-you're-talking-about-smile" and genuine amusement

You know you've been in T'land to long, when:

You start charging Falangs double

When you get in a meter cab and you can tell the meter has been rigged to cheat you.When you tell the driver he gives you a rate that is cheaper than the meter reading(PROOF).

When you can count backward from 100 to zero in Thai while shaving.