Devastated By That Brit Boy

[Maigo6]

Redscouse, is ths the Candy you're concerned about ?

Edited January 26, 2009 by Maigo6

[JacknDanny]

So Maigo - you'd let your wife/gf go off with a lad for a week you never met or even talked to??? And who refused to meet you????

This would have bells going off in my head, and I'm pretty secure with my relationship.

I disagree with you on political issues, and you are crap at predicting football results

But on this you are absolutely 100% correct.

Candyflip.

Simple, your boyfriend is just not that into you!! Maybe sad, but true.

[sbk]

Personally, I doubt he is cheating.

But, tbh, he does strike me as being inconsiderate and self centered. There are two people in a relationship and when in a relationship each person should take the others feelings into account. This doesn't appear to be happening here. Whether or not this is new behavior is only something candyflip can know, but if it is new behavior then she has to decide if it is something she can live with, and if its not new behavior then it sounds like its something she has gotten tired of.

[Candyflip]

Guys, here are some comments that speaks how I feel.

Chalie B - Then, when all is revealed he won't cancel to save your feelings and wants to carry on anyway. He' snot bothered about your feelings or whether his actions upset you.

Sbk - What is the real problem to me here, is that he is unwilling to show respect for her concerns.

A man who dismisses my concerns as being foolish is 1. not listening and 2. unwilling to look at things from anything other than his own point of view.

And here SBK previous post spell it out loud for me “his apparent total lack of concern for your feelings is giving you second thoughts on the direction of this relationship.” That is exactly how I feel and you sbk are so right, he would not talk about it.

EXACTLY!!!

MORE POST COMING...

[Maigo6]

Candyflip, try this,

Tell your BF that you're gonna go to Tokyo to see some poster named Maigo6, cos we both like ThaiVisa.com.

I'm sure he'll even contribute towards your airfare and trust that you will only got to see the tourist attractions.

Problem is, you can't get a Visa at the airport....

Anyway, sort out your Visa and I'll take you to Tokyo Tower. !!

[cbpword]

STOP THE POLITICS EVERYONE RIGHT NOW AND DEAL WITH THE ISSUE!!!

______________________________________________________________

Hi Candy,

I have been reading this thread from the beginning and I would like to add the following:

Feelings & emotions are universal. It does not matter if you are Thai, British, USA, Indian... etc... we all bleed when we are stabbed and we all cry the same tears, so, can we first of all stop talking politics throughout this lovely girls cry for help - Please!

Candy sweetheart - Have you started to make a decision about this boy?

My personal view has already been given in this thread, but I wondered where you was now up to with your thoughts. I hope writing it out of your system is helping.

Can I ask you a question please? Assuming you knew he was being unfaithful or disloyal - would you walk away?

Most people would argue that it should always be a simple 'yes', but not all women walk away, some have such a low self esteem they just do not know how to live without the man they love... can you?

If you can find it in your heart to walk, then, I would say do that. And it does not matter if he is being unfaithful or not - and this is the reason I say you should walk:

He disrespected your wishes.

He did not tell you the truth about what he was doing and who with. He is a liar.

He did not create a situation that allowed you to meet this girl. And yes, he could have done.

He took a female - not a male... why would that female not be you as first choice?

You told him how you felt and he cared more about going with this girl than caring for you.

- To pardon the pun - he is indeed "Riding his bike"

At this very moment how much do you really think he is thinking about you? Probably just enough to ensure that you are still there the next time he comes home or pops into town? Hmmm? Not enough - is it?

My advice?

1. Tell him to get lost - turn your phone off - tell him you have been to the salon, had your hair and face done as a treat, and that you are off out looking for a better boyfriend... finish with a 'bye-bye' and switch off your phone - deliver the message slowly and clearly so he gets it - NOT in tears.

- This will worry the life out of him and he won't be able to totally enjoy himself - haha... you will be in the back of his mind all the time, it will drive him mad that he thinks you are looking for better. And hey - you just may find someone you know

2. Get yourself all ready and done up...

- go out and forget this boy exists ...

- have twice as much fun when every now and then you turn your phone on and realise that you have a missed call.

So Candy - what do you think you are going to do???

- No-one will blame you if you say you cannot leave him, but I hope your self esteem is not so low as you cannot walk.

Even if one day you reconsider the relationship - I do think you should walk right now - and whilst he is away too.

Good luck hun,

Faye xx

Edited January 26, 2009 by cbpword

[Maigo6]

Personally, I doubt he is cheating.

I'll go along with that,

many experienced Farangs in Thailand are such adept liars, I doubt very much he falls into the same catagory.

[Candyflip]

REDSCOUSE, if you read my previous posts well, you would understand that the point here is that I m not so much concern about he has an affair. The issue is about how could I go on " going out" with someone who seem to have less concern of my feeling.

I am way far beyond " being possessive" thai gf who does not let her bf do what he wants. My previous posts stated that I 've let him go on the bike trip many times before with his female friends and his gang. I let him go to go go bar with his mates. I just wish that he had asked me first before arranging this 1 on 1 bike trip to another country for a week. Am I expecting too much? No I dont think so. If he just asked me, showed me that he concerned that I am a part of his life, I would not meet devastated like this, no matter if I had met that girl or not.

but all he did was just bitching around, turn things around as it is my fault that I spell out my feeling. Like sbk said , he just does not listen that my heart was crying. THAT WAS THE MATTER!

[Maigo6]

Do I sense older women feeling insecure ?

The thing is, in Thailand, men don't get old, they just get more desirable cos they will die quicker and leave their money to the little woman, or her sister, sooner rather than later.

Edited January 26, 2009 by Maigo6

[callum06]

Candy,

I am British married to a lovely Thai woman, my wife won't feel comfortable about me going away ALONE with another female that she doesn't know or has never met. I would feel the same way as her, it is called RESPECT for each other our and our relationship. You deserve the same

Is it a case of you BF saying this girl doesn't want to meet you and you are taking his word for it or has he told the other girl he is single and can't introduce you??

If I were in you position, i would get rid of him and find some better...

[Maigo6]

but all he did was just bitching around

Tokyo tower ?

Edited January 26, 2009 by Maigo6

[JacknDanny]

STOP THE POLITICS EVERYONE RIGHT NOW AND DEAL WITH THE ISSUE!!!

______________________________________________________________

Hi Candy,

I have been reading this thread from the beginning and I would like to add the following:

Feelings & emotions are universal. It does not matter if you are Thai, British, USA, Indian... etc... we all bleed when we are stabbed and we all cry the same tears, so, can we first of all stop talking politics throughout this lovely girls cry for help - Please!

Candy sweetheart - Have you started to make a decision about this boy?

My personal view has already been given in this thread, but I wondered where you was now up to with your thoughts. I hope writing it out of your system is helping.

Can I ask you a question please? Assuming you knew he was being unfaithful or disloyal - would you walk away?

Most people would argue that it should always be a simple 'yes', but not all women walk away, some have such a low self esteem they just do not know how to live without the man they love... can you?

If you can find it in your heart to walk, then, I would say do that. And it does not matter if he is being unfaithful or not - and this is the reason I say you should walk:

He disrespected your wishes.

He did not tell you the truth about what he was doing and who with. He is a liar.

He did not create a situation that allowed you to meet this girl. And yes, he could have done.

He took a female - not a male... why would that female not be you as first choice?

You told him how you felt and he cared more about going with this girl than caring for you.

- To pardon the pun - he is indeed "Riding his bike"

At this very moment how much do you really think he is thinking about you? Probably just enough to ensure that you are still there the next time he comes home or pops into town? Hmmm? Not enough - is it?

My advice?

1. Tell him to get lost - turn your phone off - tell him you have been to the salon, had your hair and face done as a treat, and that you are off out looking for a better boyfriend... finish with a 'bye-bye' and switch off your phone - deliver the message slowly and clearly so he gets it - NOT in tears.

- This will worry the life out of him and he won't be able to totally enjoy himself - haha... you will be in the back of his mind all the time, it will drive him mad that he thinks you are looking for better. And hey - you just may find someone you know

2. Get yourself all ready and done up...

- go out and forget this boy exists ...

- have twice as much fun when every now and then you turn your phone on and realise that you have a missed call.

So Candy - what do you think you are going to do???

- No-one will blame you if you say you cannot leave him, but I hope your self esteem is not so low as you cannot walk.

Even if one day you reconsider the relationship - I do think you should walk right now - and whilst he is away too.

Good luck hun,

Faye xx

Are you Claire Rainer in disguise?

[Candyflip]

Hello Faye (aka cbpword)

Thank for your girly supports.

I dont really have plan for what to do when he gets back yet.

I am just try to get by day by day. I have only slept 4 hour in 2 days , not good for my beauty huh?

I called my friend this afternoon, they asked me to come around to their house.

They said not to worry so much, they would just pamper me and no question asked if I dont want to.

So I will be out with them.

Besides work hours this week, I will go to party on friday at club culture and dance festival with my siblings.

Dont really feel like looking for someonelse just yet.

Dont wanna mess around as it will effect me later as i am more like one man - one woman type.

but definately I would like to go to salon and so on. Looking good always make me feel better.

( oh -- i just notice that i have not showered and been out of my apartment for 2 days already)

The best thing is that I know that I can count on my friends and my siblings. They always be there for me.

So i shall be alright. Thanks again for your sweet post ja.

[cbpword]

Hi Jack You guessed!! - Lol

[Candyflip]

Collum06 -- Are you anything related to my all time fevorite singer JAMIE COLLUM?

[callum06]

Collum06 -- Are you anything related to my all time fevorite singer JAMIE COLLUM?

I am afraid i am not, my user name is named after our son who was born in 2006. Have a shower, brush your teeth and make ourself look sexy and get out have fun tonight... live is too short, enjoy it

[G54]

Is he really going with a lady? Reason I ask is that Candy has never seen or spoken to this woman. Maybe he is into other things.

Better make sure - as someone else said earlier - he wears a condom when he gets back, if he is still allowed intimate relations.

Day by day is the only way to get through it. Find something to occupy your evenings. Stay with family? Drinking a little might help you get to sleep, but make sure you do not drown yourself in the drink.

[cbpword]

Candy - Okay hun... I hear you. Make sure you stay busy - get some sleep tonight too.

Its good to be a one man one women person - me too - but whatever you do, don't miss the opportunity of a lifetime for a relationship that is not based on total trust and respect. Respect is perhaps more important than trust. I think everyone has a little tiny bit of jealousy in them, men and women. I don't think you are a jelous person at all.

I think its a shame you are going to wait until he gets back in a way (by then he has had his time and will convince you that its not a problem and you will believe him) It sends a message to him that you accept this behaviour. What you say does not matter - you can say that you do not accept it as many times and in many ways - but the fact of the matter and the truth is that you 'are' accepting it.

- and I think that means that you are not going to walk.

If you do not walk away Candy - please please get control of your own life and please be sure never to 'need' this man, as I honestly think you would be on your own!

Regardless of what men say, most men like women with strong minds and that are in control of thier own life, and are not afraid to express their own opinions. Be strong.

More importantly - be true to yourself Candy.

[Maigo6]

Collum06 -- Are you anything related to my all time fevorite singer JAMIE COLLUM?

I am afraid i am not, my user name is named after our son who was born in 2006. Have a shower, brush your teeth and make ourself look sexy and get out have fun tonight... live is too short, enjoy it

OMG, this gets stranger and stranger..................................

[mrnosey]

It's probably all innocent, unless they have gone on one of those tandem bike tours !

tandem.bmp

[DC1066]

Collum06 -- Are you anything related to my all time fevorite singer JAMIE COLLUM?

I am afraid i am not, my user name is named after our son who was born in 2006. Have a shower, brush your teeth and make ourself look sexy and get out have fun tonight... live is too short, enjoy it

OMG, this gets stranger and stranger..................................

Starting to think there might be something rotten in the state of Denmark

[callum06]

I am Mrs Callum06. If I were you, I would do the same to him. I will tell him that I am going for a trip with one of my friend (man). Maybe you ask a friend he never met (to make it real). Then you definitely go somewhere not for a week but maybe for a few days. If he asks about it, you exactly say(do) the same things as he has done. (โบราณเราสอนไว้ว่า ตาต่อตา ฟันต่อฟัน...บางครั้ง/หลายๆ ครั้งก็ได้ผล ) Also, I don't think it is bizarre, if you want to meet her. Why not? .... she is going to go with your boyfriend. I think she is bizarre!!

[sbk]

Do I sense older women feeling insecure ?

The thing is, in Thailand, men don't get old, they just get more desirable cos they will die quicker and leave their money to the little woman, or her sister, sooner rather than later.

Making assumptions again maigo6?

[jayjayjayjay]

Do I sense older women feeling insecure ?

The thing is, in Thailand, men don't get old, they just get more desirable cos they will die quicker and leave their money to the little woman, or her sister, sooner rather than later.

Making assumptions again maigo6?

I think we need to keep Maigo6 away from Candyflip, atleast until the roving cyclist is back in town!

[callum06]

Do I sense older women feeling insecure ?

The thing is, in Thailand, men don't get old, they just get more desirable cos they will die quicker and leave their money to the little woman, or her sister, sooner rather than later.

I don't think that has anything to do with it "Maigo6" i am 31 years old and my wife is 35 years old, again it comes down to respect for each other!!

Just my point of view here but if your wife or GF doesn't care that you spend a few days or a week with a female she doesn't know, then why is she with you?? Is it love and respect?? or is it the easy life and the money??

[sbk]

Do I sense older women feeling insecure ?

The thing is, in Thailand, men don't get old, they just get more desirable cos they will die quicker and leave their money to the little woman, or her sister, sooner rather than later.

Making assumptions again maigo6?

I think we need to keep Maigo6 away from Candyflip, atleast until the roving cyclist is back in town!

Well, I'd have to say that now he's gone back to his old avatar he's pretty dam_n near irresistible, so you are probably right.

Candyflip is an old old woman, of no interest to any of the men on this forum whatsoever

[jtp]

I would like to point out that the chap in question has been honest with Candy,as far as i can see.You have to remember that many guys don't react to a woman crying,the way in which the lady would like them to.I can tell the difference between my wife crying because she wants her own way,and crying because she is genuinely upset.Candy,I think that if you really love the man,then don't just throw away one and a half years of effort.Sure he might be stubborn,insensitive or just stupid,but what guy hasn't been that way at least once in their life?He may really enjoy cycling,and he knows you don't,so he has friends that do.A man can have female friends without it being sexual,or anything other then plain old friendship.My wife loves beauty shopping,makeup,shoes and will spend hours in MBK...I get bored with this and enjoy spending time with a friend that likes motorbikes and other things i like.This person happens to be a woman.Nothing to it,friendship,nothing more.I enjoy her company because we have similar interests,she could have been a he,just didn't turn out that way.No way would i cheat on the person i love,my wife.I asked my friend to meet my wife...No way she said! I asked why not?She said"Scared of wife,because wife no like you have female friend"!So i tell my wife she didn't feel comfortable meeting her,wife says why?????Now we have a situation where the wife feels my friend must want more then "friends"...........So you can see it can be completely harmless,but it can easily be blown way out of proportion....In the end only you know what kind of person he is,but don't turn a molehill into a mountain,it is more likely he is NOT cheating on you,as he was upfront and honest about where he went,and with whom.At the end of the day the only person i really want to be with is my wife,thats why i married her,but i do need time to myself also.Don't shoot him just yet,see how he is when he comes home.Remember,if you are cold to him,he may think"Oh what's the point",and you may push him into the very arms you were trying to keep him from...Just my thoughts.

[sbk]

Posts have been deleted. No bickering on the forum please

[jtp]

sorry SBK

Edited January 26, 2009 by tritexengineering

[jtp]

I think what i'm trying to say Candy,is that loving someone is not always the easiest thing to do,nobody is perfect and everytime you leave a relationship,a little part of you goes with that person. A part of your heart that you never get back.Don't be quick to condemn him.