The Perfect Breakup

[shochu]

the perfect breakup - no such thing -unless u mean the easiest way out for u!

ur title says it all no matter how u want it to be construed - so either do the right thing - which is - in los - if u understand things here - irregardless of what her background is - as u have lived with her - help her to get back on her feet.

[Chaimai]

ur title says it all no matter how u want it to be construed - so either do the right thing - which is - in los - if u understand things here - irregardless of what her background is - as u have lived with her - help her to get back on her feet.

I doubt she spends too much time on her feet

[Zorne]

Out of interest what bar did she find you in ?

Well, I dont know who found who but anyways we saw each other first time in Bangkok. As for which bar, sorry m8, I will not tell .

[Chaimai]

Out of interest what bar did she find you in ?

Well, I dont know who found who but anyways we saw each other first time in Bangkok. As for which bar, sorry m8, I will not tell .

Zorne, you are no fun

I was only going to offer to check that she was OK after the break-up.

[Martian]

Just tell her that the global financial situation has caused you to lose all your money and that you need her to provide support for the both of you in Thailand because you can't work in Thailand. This will bring out the true point of her being with you and probably sooner than later you will come home to any empty place....break-up complete.

Don't be shy about getting as many severance pops as possible while she is around.

Regards

Edited February 15, 2009 by Martian

[Zorne]

the perfect breakup - no such thing -unless u mean the easiest way out for u!

ur title says it all no matter how u want it to be construed - so either do the right thing - which is - in los - if u understand things here - irregardless of what her background is - as u have lived with her - help her to get back on her feet.

Yes I do not intend to leave her with just her clothes and a broken heart.

Doesnt anybody have any stories to tell? Anyone had any soap opera style endings with fighting, guns or whatever. I want to know a little bit more of how bad it can go over here as I have heard it can get quite ugly sometimes, especially when bargirls are involved.

[Zorne]

Out of interest what bar did she find you in ?

Well, I dont know who found who but anyways we saw each other first time in Bangkok. As for which bar, sorry m8, I will not tell .

Zorne, you are no fun

I was only going to offer to check that she was OK after the break-up.

Hehe, thank u very much for your concern. Bad man!

I doubt she spends too much time on her feet

Very bad man

[Zorne]

Just tell her that the global financial situation has caused you to lose all your money and that you need her to provide support for the both of you in Thailand because you can't work in Thailand. This will bring out the true point of her being with you and probably sooner than later you will come home to any empty place....break-up complete.

Don't be shy about getting as many severance pops as possible while she is around.

Regards

That is really a very good ide. Anyone tried this or a similar approach?

Am I risking that she might vacum the house for valubles before she disappears?

[shochu]

cheap entertainment tonight?

[a2396]

I realize offcourse that there is no such thing as a perfect break up. And the way people break up varies a lot depending who we are and what circumstances etc. Anyway, here goes...

I find myself in a, for me, totally new situation. My mind is set up on breakin up with my thai girlfriend. I just havnt done it yet. I would appreciate any help you can give me in this matter.

Some background. This is my first thai girlfriend. We meat about a year ago in the bar where she worked. She is 19 and has worked in a bar for about 5 months total. We didnt become a "serious" couple until a few months ago, ie when I came here to Thailand for a longer visit. We have been living together since. I know she loves me a lot. I have met her family and we all got along very well.

The resons for breakin up is not that she has done anything bad or that I have found someone new. The reasons are purely cultural. We have tried to overcome cultural and educational differences but it doesnt seem to work. You can call me impatient or whatever but this is how it is. I can not change what I feel and I am not willing to put more effort in it than I already have.

There are however a few things that makes it difficult for me to break up. She is young, thai and a former bar girl. I can imagine some of the reactions and I fear a little bit what might just happen. Also, I genuinly care about the girl but I do not feel the kind of love for her that I think she should have from a boyfriend. I worry that she would go back working in the bars again. Offcourse I realize it is highly likely and that I cannot do anything about this. But I feel bad about it though.

What would be my best approach to break up? Are there any things I should be aware off? What kind of reactions should I anticipate? All help is appreciated!

Thank you!

Concerned Zorne

You are a bit short on specifics. I can understand the educational differences. Bar girls aren't usually uni grads. The're lucky if they made it through high school. I am more curious about the problems you are having with the "culture". I find the younger ladies are a bit more flexible and adaptable, but you are likely to run into this with others and particularly when involved with their family. Needless to say, bar girls aren't the best candidates for long-term relationships.

[473geo]

There is a near perfect way

'Darling here is a bank account in your name containing 1 million baht for your future'

Which is not with me...good bye.

[Saiyan]

Zorne

You seem to have quite a level head and are also capable of holding your own in the responses that you have given in this thread so far. So I think that you are more than capable of handling this break up on your own.

What concerns me is the fact that you are looking for responses from the forum on the negative effects and bad experiences (guns mentioned) of a break up in Thailand.

Is it perhaps sensualisation that you are looking for?

Difficult to take you seriously if you are.

[jimjam23]

Only is thailand will you find a dude wanting to dump he ex-prostitute girlfriend for cultural and educational differences.

Somehow you just can't see this situation happening much in the West.

[Zorne]

Zorne

You seem to have quite a level head and are also capable of holding your own in the responses that you have given in this thread so far. So I think that you are more than capable of handling this break up on your own.

What concerns me is the fact that you are looking for responses from the forum on the negative effects and bad experiences (guns mentioned) of a break up in Thailand.

Is it perhaps sensualisation that you are looking for?

Difficult to take you seriously if you are.

Well I never really doubt the fact that I am perfectly capable in handling these matters on my own. I was only looking in to the big bank of experinces that reside here in order to maybe get some information that could be useful.

Regarding the fact of me mentioning guns was only to try to trigger some responses, which I think you already know by now. I have heard so many bad stories and would like to get some responses of people having these experiences in order to establish a wider understanding to maybe why this happen here more often than in our westerns countrieis.

Zorne

[Zorne]

Only is thailand will you find a dude wanting to dump he ex-prostitute girlfriend for cultural and educational differences.

Somehow you just can't see this situation happening much in the West.

LOL

We can have a discussion of prostitution in Thailand in another thread. There are many sides to this definition besides the most obvios one offcourse.

[manjara]

There is a near perfect way

'Darling here is a bank account in your name containing 1 million baht for your future'

Which is not with me...good bye.

That's definitely letting her down lightly!

Paying her rent for a year might be cheaper (in a 3k a month type place)

[Travel2003]

Only is thailand will you find a dude wanting to dump he ex-prostitute girlfriend for cultural and educational differences.

Somehow you just can't see this situation happening much in the West.

Unfortunately (as I really love it here), but I have to agree.

Maybe not only in Thailand, but at least one of the very few places where a 35 year old wants to know how to break up with a 19 year old professional.

So much advice already given, so here is mine as well.

If one wants to break up (or get rid of) a professional, make is seem like the money has (or is about to) run out.

[473geo]

Only is thailand will you find a dude wanting to dump he ex-prostitute girlfriend for cultural and educational differences.

Somehow you just can't see this situation happening much in the West.

Unfortunately (as I really love it here), but I have to agree.

Maybe not only in Thailand, but at least one of the very few places where a 35 year old wants to know how to break up with a 19 year old professional.

So much advice already given, so here is mine as well.

If one wants to break up (or get rid of) a professional, make is seem like the money has (or is about to) run out.

Perhaps that is the 'cultural' difference........if she keeps spending it will run out!!!!

[Travel2003]

Only is thailand will you find a dude wanting to dump he ex-prostitute girlfriend for cultural and educational differences.

Somehow you just can't see this situation happening much in the West.

Unfortunately (as I really love it here), but I have to agree.

Maybe not only in Thailand, but at least one of the very few places where a 35 year old wants to know how to break up with a 19 year old professional.

So much advice already given, so here is mine as well.

If one wants to break up (or get rid of) a professional, make is seem like the money has (or is about to) run out.

Perhaps that is the 'cultural' difference........if she keeps spending it will run out!!!!

A woman, anywhere in the world, will only keep spending your money, until you say stop, or stop handing them out.

Hmmmm, if that sounded sexist, it was a joke.

[473geo]

Only is thailand will you find a dude wanting to dump he ex-prostitute girlfriend for cultural and educational differences.

Somehow you just can't see this situation happening much in the West.

Unfortunately (as I really love it here), but I have to agree.

Maybe not only in Thailand, but at least one of the very few places where a 35 year old wants to know how to break up with a 19 year old professional.

So much advice already given, so here is mine as well.

If one wants to break up (or get rid of) a professional, make is seem like the money has (or is about to) run out.

Perhaps that is the 'cultural' difference........if she keeps spending it will run out!!!!

A woman, anywhere in the world, will only keep spending your money, until you say stop, or stop handing them out.

Hmmmm, if that sounded sexist, it was a joke.

I agree ....some however go out and work...others don't.....as I'm not sure what the 'cultural differences' are I threw it in there...

[UncleFrank]

Speaking from experience, some can go berserk. The behavior is ingrained from years of watching soap operas.

The best thing to do lie. Say you have been transfered or something and don't go back to that bar.

Good luck.

I have seen a few of the soap operas over here and I can honestly say it scares me...

Please elaborate more on your experiences .

Zorne

Uh, let's see...breaking and entering, theft, violence, threats, police, slander etc.

[callum06]

I worry that she would go back working in the bars again. Offcourse I realize it is highly likely and that I cannot do anything about this. But I feel bad about it though.

It is not your job to 'save' her from bar work.

You have to decide what is best for you, and her, for the long-term. Any doubts now are probably well-founded and splitting up is best done sooner rather than later.

Never thought of it to be my job to save her. All I said was that I feel bad for here having to go back there.

Also I am completely clear of what I want to do. I want to break up. I know this is the best for me. For her I don't know. She might get a better "deal" with sombody else or not. I can probably not do anything about that.

I appreciate the support in breakin up but that is not really what I am looking for now. I am interested in some experiences in this from the people here. How did you guys go about? What happened when you opened pandoras box?

Zorne

All I said was that I feel bad for here having to go back there.

marry her then.....

[UncleFrank]

or you can always tell her you have finaly decided to embrace your homo erotic urges

Rock solid advice.

Saves face all around.

[samuibeachcomber]

sounds to me the OP is frightened of her reactions(what she might do)when the shit hits the fan.If that is the case,quietly move out when she is at work,change sim card and move to another part of thailand.

[slapout]

The op seems like a nice sort with good intent so after pondering his perceived problems, I recommend he tell her he is going into the temple to become a monk and if he gets caught out later, just explain he had a relapse to his old ways.

[Asbestos]

The reasons are purely cultural.

As long as she's good in bed who cares about culture?

Flame away

Thats it, flame away troly.

[jayjayjayjay]

Concerned Zorne

1. make sure there is a nice young chappy of her liking close by.

2 bring a girl back home and do the nasty on the coach, get caught.

3 ask for forgiveness but dont mean it

4 if this fails, repeat the next night.

5 the nice young chappy is for her to hopefully run too teary eyed, he'll be the knight in shining armour and her new man.

6 it works best if the girl you bring home is one of her friends or maybe a sister as another TV member did a long time ago.

7 the theory is she will leave on her terms not yours, leaving her not feeling rejected.

8 a totally unproven theory, no scientific evidence to support you will not be:

• Shot
  
• Stabbed
  
• having junior cut off and fed to ducks
  
• having junior cut off and released by balloon.
  
• being pushed off your balcony
  
• etc
  

Do at your own risk!

[grantbkk]

Three month relationship with a 'former" bargirl. No children and no joint business or property. This post may could be from a troll. A 35 year old "man" is asking for salient details and experiences of TV members. At best he has bought into the girlfriend experience where he should pay her to leave. The OP thinks so much of himself that he feels the girl will be devastated when he pulls the plug. No pun intended here. Her reaction could run the gamut from hiring a hitman to storming out the door of their hut. If this is on the level the OP could push the girl in the direction of her next feed bag. That is predicated on the OP having any friends and it would help if the girl is cute. Of the estimated 35,000 breakups a day here in Thailand I don't think this one is going to make the newspapers. Grow a pair!

[Zorne]

Three month relationship with a 'former" bargirl. No children and no joint business or property. This post may could be from a troll. A 35 year old "man" is asking for salient details and experiences of TV members. At best he has bought into the girlfriend experience where he should pay her to leave. The OP thinks so much of himself that he feels the girl will be devastated when he pulls the plug. No pun intended here. Her reaction could run the gamut from hiring a hitman to storming out the door of their hut. If this is on the level the OP could push the girl in the direction of her next feed bag. That is predicated on the OP having any friends and it would help if the girl is cute. Of the estimated 35,000 breakups a day here in Thailand I don't think this one is going to make the newspapers. Grow a pair!

I am sorry that you so totally misinterpreted my intentions with this thread. Perhaps I might lack balls but at least I dont lack the things you so apparently lack.

[Zorne]

sounds to me the OP is frightened of her reactions(what she might do)when the shit hits the fan.If that is the case,quietly move out when she is at work,change sim card and move to another part of thailand.

You are in the right neigbourhood of what I want too know.

As I am not custom too the kinds of reactions that occur here (only by reputation) I just wanted too get some insights too what can happen here, likelyhood etc. As I said I do not have a problem with letting her know, I just want it to go as smoothly as possible.