Mario2008 Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Don't feel horrible Stuck, you did what you had to do and you are still acting in the interest of your child. I can only applaud that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuck Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 Don't feel horrible Stuck, you did what you had to do and you are still acting in the interest of your child. I can only applaud that. She's a mess. She's sliding from mania to depression and in the slide she is understanding and realizing the things she did. She still has some things she says that contradict but she understands that what she did caused me to act and she blames herself. She asked me to forgive her. I did. But I still want to help her and it breaks my heart to have her suffering. She's still my wife and still my boy's mother. That hasn't changed. I feel horrible. Yes I did the right thing but I still feel horrible about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJo Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Good to hear it all worked out well for you. And this proves not all BiB's are worthless criminals. You are right about her, once the dust settles maybe you can help her to get back on track with proper medical care. And please do tell us some day how it all happened, might save lifes some day if other people find themselfs in similar situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mario2008 Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 It's god to see you still have feelings for her and can see situation. It makes you a good father and husband. It just wasn't to be, which is a sad thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 So happy for you and your son--also sad for his mother. Best of luck to all of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RakJungTorlae Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 He's bitching at me from a hotel room in Los Angeles USA. Tell him, Johny Be good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girlx Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 aw nice to hear it worked out and that people rallied around to help you. good luck with everything! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuck Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 So happy for you and your son--also sad for his mother. Best of luck to all of you. His mother is my wife. In the heat of all this I lost sight of the fact that she is bipolar and wasn't properly medicated. She isn't at fault here, she is a victim. We are all victims of this disease called bipolar disorder. I will find a way to reunite this family but now I must do my part from here and she must do what she can (with my help) in Thailand. She really doesn't understand what happened, it is as if she has understanding of some things and other things miss her completely. She asks me "why did you leave me alone" and that says it all. I did and it tears me apart to think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkjames Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 So happy for you and your son--also sad for his mother. Best of luck to all of you. His mother is my wife. In the heat of all this I lost sight of the fact that she is bipolar and wasn't properly medicated. She isn't at fault here, she is a victim. We are all victims of this disease called bipolar disorder. I will find a way to reunite this family but now I must do my part from here and she must do what she can (with my help) in Thailand. She really doesn't understand what happened, it is as if she has understanding of some things and other things miss her completely. She asks me "why did you leave me alone" and that says it all. I did and it tears me apart to think about it. So what are your next steps mate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuck Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 So what are your next steps mate? My wife says she went to a psychiatrist in Nong Khai. They want her to continue on the Depakine and the Prozac. She is sliding toward depression. She wants to go to Bangkok and get a job like she had before. She was doing computer support for Big C for the POS terminals in the stores. I will ask our doctor in Pattaya to recommend a good hospital and doctor in Bangkok. I will pay the bills directly so I'm sure she sees the doctors. I do not want to live in the USA. I will likely go to a South American Country with Jonathan and getting her a visa out will not be a problem. It will be nuetral territory not Thailand and he will enter as an American Citizen. I have to play this by ear but I promised her that she will see her son again, and I meant it. In the meantime we will keep in contact via pictures, movies and video chat. I will not withhold him from her but Thailand is out of the question because of their goofy laws. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mario2008 Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 So happy for you and your son--also sad for his mother. Best of luck to all of you. His mother is my wife. In the heat of all this I lost sight of the fact that she is bipolar and wasn't properly medicated. She isn't at fault here, she is a victim. We are all victims of this disease called bipolar disorder. I will find a way to reunite this family but now I must do my part from here and she must do what she can (with my help) in Thailand. She really doesn't understand what happened, it is as if she has understanding of some things and other things miss her completely. She asks me "why did you leave me alone" and that says it all. I did and it tears me apart to think about it. Don't be too hard on your self Stuck, You are a good person to see her side of it and all. But don't forget you did all you could, trying to get her help. You went to see a doctor and got medication for her. She is responsible for taking it, or not. You certainly didn't just walk out on her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aussiejosh Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Glad to hear it all worked out well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuck Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 Don't be too hard on your self Stuck,You are a good person to see her side of it and all. But don't forget you did all you could, trying to get her help. You went to see a doctor and got medication for her. She is responsible for taking it, or not. You certainly didn't just walk out on her. You're wrong. She isn't capable of taking her medicine by herself. I'm going to get her to educate her friends so they can see if she is off her meds and help her get back on. She cannot think rationally. Period. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h90 Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 stuck: Try to make some money out of the story, either selling it for a newspaper or writing a book.... If you write a book I am one of the first customer! Meeting with the mother: Be very carefully! Stories can change....don't risk anything. I am not a lawyer but in many countries the mother has much more rights than the father and if she tells the police a complete wrong story you might run into troubles. Don't risk anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mario2008 Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 That is true. But you can't blame yourself for that and you are still doing everything you can for her. What I mean to say is that you can only do so much. I can understand it is frustrating that it wasn't enough, but I can't see that you are to blame. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonthaburial Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Remember the initial breaking story, but cannot remember how this other American Scumbag (as described) features. can someone enlighten me please Anyhow Stuck you did a great job and the sensible action was taken, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sabum Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 (edited) bleh Edited February 20, 2009 by Sabum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Now this is a great story and if the OP is not able to put it into a book, someone ought to give the help needed to do so. So much garbage gets printed and sold, this deserves publishing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimsKnight Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Remember the initial breaking story, but cannot remember how this other American Scumbag (as described) features. can someone enlighten me please Neither can I, I only assume he was at the scene when the little one was whisked away back into Stucks care?? If you have his details and pics Stuck give me a PM, I'll name and shame the prick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ballpoint Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Wonderful news.Why not write this story up and send it to Columbia Pictures. No joking, I think this should be shared with the public, even as a warning to those who are considering getting into relationships in Thailand. The movie could be titled: Six Days of hel_l in Paradise. I was a journalist back in the UK for a time and know a winner when I see it. The revenue from the film would pay for the childs education and future prosperity. In the meantime, good luck to you Sir and I can assure you that all ThaiVisa members are on your side. It is indeed good news, but why do you have to bring up a racist rant against Thai women? The wife is bipolar, a condition that can affect anyone of any race. What's your warning? Be careful of getting involved with a Thai woman because she might later on become bipolar and abduct your child? Somehow I'm not surprised you were a UK journalist, the term "gutter press" comes to mind.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samuibeachcomber Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 That is true. But you can't blame yourself for that and you are still doing everything you can for her. What I mean to say is that you can only do so much. I can understand it is frustrating that it wasn't enough, but I can't see that you are to blame. I know this sounds a hard thing to say,but sometimes you just have to let go,otherwise stuck you will continue to beat your head against a brick wall and cause yourself untold stress. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyphuketLife Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Remember the initial breaking story, but cannot remember how this other American Scumbag (as described) features. can someone enlighten me please Neither can I, I only assume he was at the scene when the little one was whisked away back into Stucks care?? If you have his details and pics Stuck give me a PM, I'll name and shame the prick. I read the story to when it was first posted, but I did not read about the "american Scumbag" and his/her role.... can you please explain the american scumbag... Congrats on getting your son back, I hope that you take him to get some proffessional help... I am sure he has thoughts and emotions he needs to work through after this nightmare.... Good luck to you and your son! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuck Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 (edited) The American Scumbag has lived in Thailand since 1989 when he stole all the money from his children's trust left by his mother and father and took the money to Thailand. He has been a flim flam man or scam artist ever since. His role is very complicated. In Oct Nov of 2008 he tried to gain my confidence and drew me into his world. He did this with 3 of my friends. I figured it out in December and told him to stay the f*$*#k away from my family but he wouldn't stay away from my wife. He showed up at the police station when all this began and she brought the police to me, but they could see she needed help and have been helping me ever since. They're only issue was Jonathan, not me, not my wife. The Colonel there knows about scumbag and told me without prompting last time I saw him that he thinks this man is a dangerous criminal. I found out that my wife had been seeing him, calling him excessively, sms etc.. starting in Jan 2009. His role could be simply that he gained her confidence (easy to do for a bipolar) and suggested that she take Jonathan to get back at me. He gave her money. When she left, he was in Nong Khai supposedly bailing out his other American Friend who was in a Nong Khai jail for beating his girlfriend. The two go back to the 1980's and they were partners in crime from way back. He confronted me a few days ago, trying to intimidate me by bulging his eyes and leaning towards me. I told him I wasn't afraid of him and he either retreats or I tear his head off his neck. He's a piece of dirt that has some feelings towards my wife. I called his son who 4 years ago put an ad in one of the online things in Thailand looking for his father whom he had not heard since 1989. I spoke to his son. I investigated him using the internet for two days when I realized what he was. I thought I might need the info. When he wouldn't stay away, I let him know that I knew TOO MUCH about him and if he didn't stay away I would expose him by putting his info on the internet. He has been hiding here every since the 90's. I think the latest taking of Jonathan was due to his influence as payback. There are people he has cheated in the USA and I'm sure some of them would like to know where he is, and I would love to show them directly to his door. But I told him if he stayed away from my family that he had nothing to fear from me. His involvement is still ongoing. My friends are emptying my house and he is videotaping them. It's very complicated. Between my wife's mother and this scumbag she has been manipulated to run away with Jonathan which was something she didn't want to do. She knew he was better off in our home, not in her mother's brothel. I could write for hours about this but this should be enough to fill in some gaps. yes, this is a book or HBO movie - it's a warning to people not so much about Thailand women but about thailand laws and our role in this society. Any other questions? Edited February 20, 2009 by stuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stuck Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 No more money. This whole episode began over money. She was obsessed with buying things, online - open market - you name it. She had to spend spend spend and this behaviour had become very prevalent in the last few months. I was running out of money - many reason - but I was keeping what I had under tight raps. When I realized she was bipolar and the spending was a symptom, I cut off the money tree and doled it out judiciously. This created unbelievable grief for me as she was out of control. "How can I stay with you without money?" Not exactly true because I gave her money to buy things we needed but wasn't going to allow her to spend me into the ground. Many will say that's just a Thai but it wasn't this Thai and her spending got more excessive as she lived in mania. She needs help and has been manipulated by scumbags, family - everyone. They all told her that I was making her sick and there is nothing wrong with you. It's been a nightmare. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WingKei Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 stuck, having followed what you were going through from the beginning it's great to hear that your son is now safe with you. Although there may be more obstacles ahead I wish you, your son and wife all the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wayfarer108 Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 You mentioned you might have your wife meet you outside Thailand. Your description of how you went from letting her spend a lot to tightening the reins suggests you may be susceptible to co-dependency. In relationships with bipolars and borderlines, otherwise mentally competent people can easily slide into co-dependence, where one runs through parallel cycles of compliance and control. I was in a relationship with a bipolar where I manifested the classic symptoms of co-dependency but it wasn't till someone else pointed it out to me that I became aware and took steps to get my own mental state in order. In order to do that, I had to end the relationship, since my partner was unwilling to seek treatment. Just something to keep in mind. Good luck with everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davyboy Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Good luck and best wishes, Stuck. Great result. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSingh Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Good stuff, i'm glad it worked out well for you Stuck... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Who, me ? Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Great happy ending ! Congratulation to you and Jonathan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Livinginexile Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Wow well done mate! I love these stories of fathers taking REAL responsibility for their children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.3b3332cc2256ad0edbc2fe9404feeef0.png)
Recommended Posts