Can U Hav Sex With Only 1 Guy For The Rest Of Ur Life? I Have Never Been Honest To My Guy

[Lorlum]

[i'm Thai, in my late 20s and I'm not English nativ speaker]

[This is a copy from my blog]

This article is just a flight of my ideas.

What does it take to be faithful to your love?

Gay men are not capable of fidelity?

It’s all about self-control.

Self-consciousness is crucial.

Anti-androgens

“Less than 5% of male animals are monogamous” Jane said in "Someone like you"

It’s just an instinct.

It’s certainly androgen.

Let’s take a look at the endocrinology of love.

It’s what I learnt from med school.

Androgen = male sex hormones, such as testosterone and androsterone

serum level of free testosterone

A : in adult female = 0.3 -1.9 ng/dL

B : in adult male = 9 - 30 ng/dL

(Testos in men is around 20 to 30 times greater than that in women)

imagine a girl holding one bottle of androgen but a guy holding 2 bottles of androgen in his hands and the rest 28 bottles in his backpack !

Romantic movies promote unrealistic expectations.

“Oh I want you, I need you, I can’t live without you” is just a crap.

There is NO true love.

In a romantic boat house "Now we shan't never be parted. It's finished." Alec said to Maurice in the movie "Maurice"

There is NO love that lasts forever.

นพพรทิ้งคุณหญิงกีรติ, คุณหญิงกีรติรักนพพรเพียงคนเดียว

Soulmate only exists in fairy-tales.

And “and then they live together happily ever after” has never happened in dareal world.

Unless the prince-charming is a castrated queer who just wants to get a marriage of convenience and the princess doesn’t seem to care about sex and his sexual preference.

In Neurobiology, love is merely just a neurotransmission in some of the 5-HT-ergic and dopaminergic pathway.

The following advices are medically unethical and unprofessional...

Anti-androgens : such as Propecia(Finasteride) or Cyproterone(one of the hormonal components in some of the oral contraceptives, such as Diane35) - the effects are reversible after stop taking the pill.

If your guy has an affair with a girl

>>> punish him with Diane-35 1 tab once daily x 30 days, so that he might actually know how and what a girl thinks and most of his sex drive and libido will turn into a power of true love for you.

BUT

If your guy has an affair with a guy

>>> definitely break up with him.

male +++ female = high testos +++ low testos

male +++ male = high testos +++ high testos >>> vicious cycle, never stops

breaking up and venereal disease infection rate are very high in homosexual male

^^

^^

^^

the major contributions are as the following

1. Both homosexual and heterosexual males have a high level of testos.

2. male-male relationship

gay men + gay men G + G

gay men + bisexual G + B

bisexual + bisexual B + B

male homosexual relationship is greatly based on sex and they can get to know each other very easily via MSN / Dating web / Hi5 / Gay bar / group of gay friends

3. male homosexual relationship is mostly shallow and sexbiotic... not symbiotic

So mostly, men are just androgenic animals...

Mind of men is basically driven by instinct and porn...

How to make a heterosexual relationship / male homosexual relationship works

1. Str8 men / gay men / bisexual men should realize that they have a high serum level of testos which plays a major role in sex drive and libido.

2. After realization of the fact above, all men should know how to control their sex drive and libido appropriately because we are human beings..... not just male animals.

3. Superego is crucial to make a relationship works

self-control

self-consciousness

faithfulness

moral

ethics

etc......

4. Stop for 5 minutes before having an affair >>> think of all the consequences and all the vicious cycles that will follow.

5. Monogamous relationship rarely exists in a big city, so avoid big cities, e.g., NYC, Tokyo, Bangkok, Hong Kong, LA, San Francisco, London etc

6. If you have a male-pattern baldness, then try anti-androgen esp. Propecia >>> you will understand how your girl thinks and loves you which is not exactly, however, in the same way you do.

7. Lust or Love ... with (1)-(6) it’s up to you

You can buy Diane-35 at any drugstore in Thailand. It costs 140 baht. but in the EU/America you need to hav a physician's prescription to buy it.

Edited February 24, 2009 by Lorlum

[Lorlum]

Gaymen, having fun, sleeping around, sex, party : It's natural, it's biological imperative...

So the fact is that gay men are not made to be monogamous.

Male homosexual relationship rarely lasts for more than 7 years.

> 90% of avians or birds are socially&sexually monogamous. And gay men are not birds

LTR(long term relationship), Fidelity, Monogamy, Truelove, Maurice NEVER exists

what kinda boyfriend that lets you fuc_k another guys and he still loves you and will be there for you whenever u want him... no matter what.

can I hav this kinda boyfriend? possible?

[imaneggspurt]

Welcome new troll.

[yogi]

CUT,COPY,PASTE.

op give us a break

[ChangMaiSausage]

Yes

[samuibeachcomber]

Welcome new troll.

i think he's a naughty boy,a very naughty boy

[Lorlum]

troll - เกรียน

[mc2]

If your guy has an affair with a girl

>>> punish him with Diane-35 1 tab once daily x 30 days, so that he might actually know how and what a girl thinks and most of his sex drive and libido will turn into a power of true love for you.

<deleted> isnt diane-35 female birth control pill

LOL

[Pawpcorn]

I would suggest we simply pose the question...

Do you think you could only have sex with ONE guy for the rest of your life???

Even in the best of circumstances??? (Such as beautiful Thai boyfriend, great sex with boyfriend, etc...)

I think that this is a decent question... it's certainly an issue that rattles around in MY head a lot... even though I would seem to have the best of circumstances.(as above!)

Oddly enough (in relation to the original post...) both of my gay relationships in the U.S. were exactly 7 years long! spooky!

Best to all,

Pawpcorn

[Lorlum]

Side effects VS. Desire effects

Minoxidil pill

For A Hypertensive patients

>>> Desire effect = lower blood pressure

>>> Side effect = hirsutism, reverse the male-patterned baldness

But for a man with a receeding hair-line

>>> Desire effect = Hirsutism

>>> Side effect = lower blood pressure

As with Diane-35, I said that my advice is quite inappropriate...

but in this case following my article the desired effects is = ANTIANDROGEN, not to stop ovulation or thicken the mucus plug of cervix.

sure it's totally wrong to prescribe Diane35 to a male patient

but according to the black book : this medication is great.

[Lorlum]

CUT,COPY,PASTE.

op give us a break

what a dull and stupid response from a dried-up old queer. sorry just kidding

[PeaceBlondie]

Can we cut out the personal attacks, and discuss the issue?

What if you settle in with a long term partner, and his sexual desire dries up? Time for sammi noi? I think so.

[Ijustwannateach]

I don't think it's what our species is designed for, actually. If it's so truly important, there are genetic/emotional ways to program that in- as in some other kinds of animals- and we don't have that. Our idea of monogamy is only a social/cultural ideal.

[Thanh-BKK]

Gaymen, having fun, sleeping around, sex, party : It's natural, it's biological imperative...

So the fact is that gay men are not made to be monogamous.

Male homosexual relationship rarely lasts for more than 7 years.

> 90% of avians or birds are socially&sexually monogamous. And gay men are not birds

LTR(long term relationship), Fidelity, Monogamy, Truelove, Maurice NEVER exists

what kinda boyfriend that lets you fuc_k another guys and he still loves you and will be there for you whenever u want him... no matter what.

can I hav this kinda boyfriend? possible?

Err.....

Try to tell that to my boyfriend (8 years and 2 3/4 months so far)... we leave each other all freedoms, yes including having gigs and so far - no problems whatsoever

Best regards....

Thanh

[Lorlum]

I would suggest we simply pose the question...

Do you think you could only have sex with ONE guy for the rest of your life???

Even in the best of circumstances??? (Such as beautiful Thai boyfriend, great sex with boyfriend, etc...)

I think that this is a decent question... it's certainly an issue that rattles around in MY head a lot... even though I would seem to have the best of circumstances.(as above!)

Oddly enough (in relation to the original post...) both of my gay relationships in the U.S. were exactly 7 years long! spooky!

Best to all,

Pawpcorn

The one golden rule for LTRs

In any LTRs, gay men cannot have sex with one guy for the rest of his life.

We can have a socially-monogamous LTR, but sadly sexually-monogamous LTR never happens in any gaymen LTRs

It's the rule, it's the fact. Based on the physiological differences as I told u guys.

Surely anyone even the child... can tell the Anatomical differences between men, women, kids, grown-ups

But for the Physiological / Biochemical / Neurobehavioral differences, it's hard to explain.

Conclusions from all the above differences,

In any LTRs, gay men cannot have sex with one guy for the rest of his life.

I hate to admit that we cannot be with "The One" guy for the rest of our lives.

LTR : [1.Sex], [2.Love(understanding, compassionate, forgiving) etc], [3.Monogamy] altogether come as a package.

there seems to be only one exception, Platonic LTR might probably lasts 4 a lifetime.

[PeaceBlondie]

Lorlum, welcome to the forum.

I have heard rumours of very long time relationships that were monogamous. I had a monogamous straight marriage for 20 years, but nothing like that since.

[peter991]

Maybe when I was a teenager, the idea of spending the rest of my life with one bed partner was a bit daunting. When I first came to Thailand, at 45 years of age, I planned to find a Thai bf and settle down. Initially I was a 'butterfly' - flitting from one beautiful Thai guy to another one.

Now - at 55 years of age, I have settled down. I am faithful. I hope this one lasts forever.

Peter

[tombkk]

I would suggest we simply pose the question...

Do you think you could only have sex with ONE guy for the rest of your life???

Even in the best of circumstances??? (Such as beautiful Thai boyfriend, great sex with boyfriend, etc...)

I think that this is a decent question... it's certainly an issue that rattles around in MY head a lot... even though I would seem to have the best of circumstances.(as above!)

Oddly enough (in relation to the original post...) both of my gay relationships in the U.S. were exactly 7 years long! spooky!

Best to all,

Pawpcorn

I've been with my boyfy for almost 6 years. In April, the seventh year will start, and in many cultures (including Thai), this is the most difficult year. Let's see what it will bring.

[onni4me]

What if you settle in with a long term partner, and his sexual desire dries up? Time for sammi noi? I think so.

Yep. At least as long my c**k stands up. Later it might be satisfying just to spend time together as most old couples do. I have discussed this with my bf sometimes joking about it...so far no idea of dumping him just for not being the greatest lover in the World. He is on the same level with me and that counts more than sex itself. It simply feels good to be together.

I still think that sexuality should not be put in boxes and moralized. To each their own. Some may explore promiscuity and some are on the other end and some may have no sexual encounters in their lives for various reasons. There is so long history of religions telling us what is 'right' and what is 'wrong' that I believe it would be healthy to do whatever one chooses in the limits of the law. Freedom - sexual freedom as well - is a rare species.

[Lorlum]

Err.....

Try to tell that to my boyfriend (8 years and 2 3/4 months so far)... we leave each other all freedoms, yes including having gigs and so far - no problems whatsoever

Best regards....

Thanh

Yes you're one of the best scenario for my fuc_king golden rule.

In any LTRs, gay men cannot have sex with one guy for the rest of his life.

So if we want to have a LTR, we're supposed to let him go.

We love each others, but we need to hold on to our basic androgen-driven instinct, which is beautiful, healthy, good for our relationships in a long-term.

Like our God said, To have and not to hold

To laugh, not to weep

To look but not to see

To kiss but never be

To love but not to keep

To have and not to hold

He's to have, not to hold

[Scott]

I've been with the same person for around 16 years. It's not monogomous, but that's the person I love and want to be with--sort of my 'rock'. I think it's difficult to have an "affair' in the conventional sense of the word and a relationship. These things for straights or gays get too complicated and too emotionally draining. If I find myself emotionally attracted to someone, then I do not get involved. For me the feeling is simply infatuation because I just haven't run into anyone who can hold a candle to my other half.

So 'quickies' are OK. Weekends together--not OK.

[onni4me]

I would like to remind you that this is no pharmaceutical discussion forum...and frankly...I feel that you are somewhat nuts. Sorry, if that gets too personal, just my honest feeling.

I am aware that love and other feelings are somehow based on hormones etc. but I still don't like pills as substitute. I am also aware that humans are not perfect and it takes more than falling in love or furious sex to be together years or decades. People - and their feelings - change and there's nothing unnatural about it.

All this said, I love my bf and wish that the state of affair will continue as long as possible. Others can do whatever it takes to be happy - as long as it's not illegal, of course...and in my mind feeding pills to someone unaware, definately is.

[Ijustwannateach]

What an... interesting... thread...

I'll join the crowd arguing against unsupervised endocrinological experiments. Another side effect is perhaps potential mood disorders?

[PeaceBlondie]

Wow...medical fights are not even allowed over on our health sub-forum. Several posts have been deleted.

Please, regular netiquette calls for no huge type fonts, no huge capital letters, no huge coloured letters. We like huge, but not in posts, please. Thank you.

[Lorlum]

I would like to remind you that this is no pharmaceutical discussion forum...and frankly...I feel that you are somewhat nuts. Sorry, if that gets too personal, just my honest feeling.

I am aware that love and other feelings are somehow based on hormones etc. but I still don't like pills as substitute. I am also aware that humans are not perfect and it takes more than falling in love or furious sex to be together years or decades. People - and their feelings - change and there's nothing unnatural about it.

All this said, I love my bf and wish that the state of affair will continue as long as possible. Others can do whatever it takes to be happy - as long as it's not illegal, of course...and in my mind feeding pills to someone unaware, definately is.

You didn't read the 1st post. I didn't discuss the pharmacology of Diane35. And I didn't give out the information about Dian35 at the 1st place.

But in later post the Gkid wants to talk about the Diane35, the explanation is needed. And the big red sentences seem like i'm shouting.

The point is just that If you wanna hav a LTR, u're supposed to be like Thanh, let him go no matter what. This's the point u still have no idea what it is and how to do it.

Sorry but no offense,

[Ijustwannateach]

Oh, heck, I rarely do this anymore, but...

Troll.

[Lorlum]

So 'quickies' are OK. Weekends together--not OK.

That's right... very good reply

[jdinasia]

Hmmm

There is the varied concepts of 'monogamy' and 'fidelity' that might be central issues here.

[Adrianthai]

I think it's completely possible to do it.

I think that analyzing this from a medical / natural point or comparing people with animals is completely unnecessary. Even if we are also animals we posses something that's called "mind".

We all have a mind and we are all able to think and act by ourselves and not by any "animal instinct"

First I want to keep this clear, I'm not judging or saying what's right and what's wrong, what's the truth and what is not cuz that's not the point. All of us can live our life as we please as long as we don't hurt one another.

But my point is, if you really love someone (in this case, calling the word love as a group of feelings and actions such as commitment, loyalty, patience, passion, trust, romance, friendship, etc, which is the definition of love for me) why would u like/want to be with somebody else? Why would u like to share such an intimate moment, give urself to someone that u probably dont know, throw away a solid and strong relationship for one night (or maybe 10 minutes) of wild fun?

That's where the "mind" comes to play.

As I said before, using the "instinct" dilemma as an excuse is just so tipically human that we should be bored of ourselves using it already.

@@@I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF, CUZ NOBODY CAN DO IT EITHER, IT'S SOMETHING NATURAL@@@

then what about a politician saying @@@I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF, I HAVE TO STEAL MONEY FROM THE PEOPLE, CUZ WHEN PEOPLE HAS MONEY, THEY WANT MORE, IT'S SOMETHING NATURAL@@@

I'm not comparing someone who steals with someone who cannot be with only one person all his life, but I am comparing the use of the "collective behaviour" as an excuse.

U can call me too "fairy-tale minded", but can u blame me? I've never thought about being with someone else, cuz I wouldn't feel good with myself. I trust in my boyfriend, and I believe (of course I can't be 100 percent sure) that my boyfriend wouldn't do it either. And even if he did it, wouldn't I be being with only one guy the rest of my life...? So it's up to me or it's up to the other one? Cuz somebody else does it, it means I can do it and I shouldn't analyze my own actions, my own "mind" in the process?

It's all about self-control, self-conscience, self-whatever, and whatever selves u want to add to it.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone with this post, it was not my intention, I just wanted to express myself.

Even if probably nobody will change nobody's thoughts, it's always good to know each other's opinions.

Take care u all, a big hug.

Adrian

[PeaceBlondie]

Nice first post, Adrian. Welcome.

I also do not buy this idea that since men are little more than a large animal, we are required to mate with whichever animal of our own species stumbles past. But the human mind is no simple logic machine. Many of us are still shrugging off the ghosts of our Puritanical pasts, throwing out the baby with the washwater, mixing our metaphors, etc.