Another Sin Sod Question

[473geo]

If she loves you, and you don't pay, hopefully she will stick with you. I never paid and my wife stuck with me.

Interesting......I would bet her family are saying 'if he loves you he'll pay'......

I would bet, that happened to you, chai mai??

Oh my family asked for a million baht......because my girl is so special........

But how much did I pay???.......I'll leave that to your wild imagination....

[Sparkles]

Thanks for your replies so far.....yes, it's hard to let go but i am starting to consider it. She also asked for around 100'000 Baht to open a small restaurant in her village for her sister, which has no job right now.

She has around 80rai of land near Bangkok, which is used as a rubber plantation (just started to plant last year), but she cannot take care of it because her brother, which was in charge has left back to south, so right now she has to pay back around 500k to bank within 30 years..... i know i am probably naive but she said that i dont need to worry about this land as she will take care of it and sell it later......still it bothers me of course..

This has all the signs of an ongoing disaster I need this ,I need that. Its called greed.First the mother then the sister, who is next in line.? I am trying not to be negative but it seems you are about to be milked big time. Its about time her family is pehaps reminded that cultural differences, beliefs etc are a two way street. In the end its your decision but don't ruin your life for someone who may well show you the door at a later stage.Then you will have zip.

[jumnien]

See, it's all about fear. Ninety percent of these responses are revealing the poster's fear of the universal gift and loss of control. Fear, fear is the teacher, my friend. This lesson will take you far; it's not about her. Remember that and you will be free. Trip on her and the money and you are stuck.

[Birdman]

If she loves you, and you don't pay, hopefully she will stick with you. I never paid and my wife stuck with me.

Interesting......I would bet her family are saying 'if he loves you he'll pay'......

I would bet, that happened to you, chai mai??

Oh my family asked for a million baht......because my girl is so special........

But how much did I pay???.......I'll leave that to your wild imagination....

read your post again, and again and maybe you will be wiser

[T_Dog]

My friend, 2 things, run fast, run far

Inthai..... SGH is right... Run like the wind

[TexasRanger]

Some of us do agree with sinsod but to ask for the cash up front is taking the pizz, it should be up to you, if my family had asked I wouldn't have given it, end of story.

I presented the money at the ceremony, not before.

There were a couple of weddings in the village last week and sinsod was paid at them (all Thai people) the size varied but get this, a tranny girl is getting married in a few months in Issan to some American bloke, he is paying 1 Mil + gold, shocked ??? She looks like a dude in a dress to me, square jaw and everything.... the mind boggles.

[lioness]

Reading this post you don't want to pay this money, but you don't want to loose the girl.

Your going to loose her anyhow when your money dries up.

Sinsot is presented at the wedding, sometimes given back the next day by arrangement, this allows the family to save face. It is not paid beforehand.

And if you set the sister up in business you will not get any of the money back. The next thing will be accidents, hospital bills, pregnant cat, sick cattle, rubber dried up, motorbike stolen, need to buy another one etc etc and in this case she will run into problems repaying the bank 500,000 and you will be asked to clear that up to, you need to remember it never stops.

Someone should start a thread on here with the various reasons given for asking for money.

As a few other posters have said run and fast.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Reading this post you don't want to pay this money, but you don't want to loose the girl.

Your going to loose her anyhow when your money dries up.

Sinsot is presented at the wedding, sometimes given back the next day by arrangement, this allows the family to save face. It is not paid beforehand.

And if you set the sister up in business you will not get any of the money back. The next thing will be accidents, hospital bills, pregnant cat, sick cattle, rubber dried up, motorbike stolen, need to buy another one etc etc and in this case she will run into problems repaying the bank 500,000 and you will be asked to clear that up to, you need to remember it never stops.

Someone should start a thread on here with the various reasons given for asking for money.

As a few other posters have said run and fast.

Piss her off pronto.

[scottyd]

People who say "It may not be the girls fault", "Family pressure" Boo Hoo kiss my ass so what? If a grown woman can't make her own decisions why the fuc_k do you want an adult relationship with them?

Don't answer that, I already know why. Because the ass is like POW!!!!!!!!

[miruph]

Her claims and especially the way she presented it in your current situation are an insult.

Concentrate on your new job.

[BygonKeaw]

Pay the 300k, not the sort of thing id do mind u!

If she rips u off kill her and her family.

good luck!

[scottyd]

BygonKaew, you are a genius! I really think you are on to something with this. If more foreigners do this, then the storys of rip-offs will dwnidle.

I promote this method.

edit: I've been thinking, if you do it in a really gruesome way, they will just blame it on the Burmese witch doctor ritual killers, so you can get away suspect free!

Edited March 14, 2009 by scottyd

[G54]

300k ?

That is 300 different women at 1k per time. Or if you take one off the beach it is 600 different women. Think of all the pleasure you could have.

You could always ask the family what you get in return for your money.

I doubt you will get any land or a car or a house. You will get a new family, a lady you never know how she will turn out at the end of the day, maybe limited sex - especially after you have moaned about paying money for the sick buffalo.

Still, it is your money, donate it to whatever charity you wish and best of luck to you.

edit

Forgot, and she knows you are having bad financial problems at the minute? Seems a very harsh demand to make from one who loves you so dearly - no pun intended, honest.

Edited March 14, 2009 by G54

[barrybike]

no way ,i wouldnt pay it ..my wife is from south too ,family all have rubber trees ,i put 5000 euro in jar surrounded by flowers at wedding cermony in the morning ,after the wedding we went back to the room and her father handed it back to me ,it was just a show for relations to see...in the morning i paid the novotel lotus bangkok for the wedding , im married 3 years in november and i never once had to give any of her family money....thanks be to god ...its hard enough now a days keeping yourself going without having to keep aanother family going too ,i pity the guys that have to do this......

[teacup]

This type of woman and her family are giving a bad name to the rest of "us" thai women and our family.

And If the OP pays, then he will make himself look ......dum as dirt (thai's phrase here)

and so the urban legend...."farang ATM" will carry on

Edited March 14, 2009 by teacup

[SoiGirlHunter]

G54, man i love your math! brilliant

[loong]

Thanks for your replies so far.....yes, it's hard to let go but i am starting to consider it. She also asked for around 100'000 Baht to open a small restaurant in her village for her sister, which has no job right now.

She has around 80rai of land near Bangkok, which is used as a rubber plantation (just started to plant last year), but she cannot take care of it because her brother, which was in charge has left back to south, so right now she has to pay back around 500k to bank within 30 years..... i know i am probably naive but she said that i dont need to worry about this land as she will take care of it and sell it later......still it bothers me of course..

Assuming that you have discussed your situation with your gf and she knows that you are having financial difficulties, this really does sound like a last ditch attempt to extract as much cash as possible before the well runs dry.

100,000 Baht for a small village restaurant? They're usually a few posts and grass or tin roof with table and some seating.

It always tastes so much better when you pay for it! What's 300,000 baht anyway? Chump change; let it go!

It's not about her; it's about fear. Confront your fear and look into the eye of the tiger!

If you were really in love would you let 7000 Euro stop you?

If she were really in love would she let her family stop her?

The truth is that many western men love money more than people and Thai women love their family more than their man.

I do know that if a pre Mrs Pitt, Angelina Jolie wanted to marry me but insisted that I buy her a 7k engagment ring first..........well consider the ring bought.

If you'd read the OP's post, you will see that he is having financial difficulties.

In any currency 300,000 Baht is hardly chump change - to many Thais, it's 4 to 8 years income.

[Jingthing]

This type of woman and her family are giving a bad name to the rest of "us" thai women and our family.

And If the OP pays, then he will make himself look ......dum as dirt (thai's phrase here)

and so the urban legend...."farang ATM" will carry on

Easy for you to say, Ms. T, but if all the farangs stopped the flow of easy money, I reckon word would get out and the visas would dry up. They don't let us stay here for our witty repartee.

[thaiwanderer]

not sure what the OP is really asking / is feeling uncomfortable about

paying for a bride

paying for this bride

paying for this bride at that price

paying for this bride at that price and getting dropped

a 'demand' for only 300,000THB is all a bit dr evil

farangs paying sin sod is on the whole laughable - won't get involved in that general discussion - although most farangs who boast about not paying a sin sod fail to appreciate they are very very far away from being superior to those farangs that do (still viewed as stupid farang by the family but even family can see bride so undesirable better not to risk the wedding by asking for a sin sod)

the OP has financial difficulties and the gf has pitched a request to clean out what may be reachable by him now as a last pay off before next idiot

that he's asking for views on TV shows he may well have been correctly weighed up by gf

[473geo]

G54, man i love your math! brilliant

Sadly he did not make provision for medical and other associated expenses...

[teacup]

This type of woman and her family are giving a bad name to the rest of "us" thai women and our family.

And If the OP pays, then he will make himself look ......dum as dirt (thai's phrase here)

and so the urban legend...."farang ATM" will carry on

Easy for you to say, Ms. T, but if all the farangs stopped the flow of easy money, I reckon word would get out and the visas would dry up. They don't let us stay here for our witty repartee.

So....Are you "validating" something here, mr Jingty?

.

.

.

[samuibeachcomber]

Inthai..................Don't do it!!!!!!!!!

Don't give in to the mothers silly demands

You said you need to rebuild................so it can wait!!!!!!!!!!!

BTW sinsod should be displayed at the wedding..........not transfered into her mothers account beforehand

greed!!!!!!!!!!!

Her mother wants money to be transfered to her daughters (my GF) account before wedding. My GF said, she then will just tell mohter that she got Sinsod and that will be enough...no showing money or any display of it anywhere.....

Does it also work like this??? It seems strange

But for mother money should be in account so that she can see that I am able to support her daughter

take the advice of most of the posters here,dont send it.disappointing that after 4 years together this starts happening,but true colours are beginning to show.sounds to me like they are desperate seeing as how you've left thailand,they now feel you may not come back or be able to financially,so one last desperate fling to try get money from you.just shows you never really know a person.

[minimart]

So before wedding, she said....... and i could be lucky that i only need to pay 300000 as normally she should get more.....

My question is would you really want to be married to somebody for the rest of your life who speaks to you in this manner? Who has this mindset? That you're "lucky" to only be paying this much and she "should get more"?

Irrespective of the "should I pay/shouldn't I pay" argument I'm afraid I simply couldn't consider a somebody as a life time partner who had that attitude. This is supposedly a lifetime commitment. A wife has to be some sort of soulmate. Somebody to share the joys and tears of what life has to offer. The good times and bad. The rough and the smooth. Somebody who you can speak to about your hopes and fears, your dreams or simply your day. Somebody to have a laugh and a joke with. Somebody to just chill out with in front of the TV. Somebody to be the mother of your children. Not somebody who considers you "lucky" to be getting her on the cheap for want of a better word.

MY mother and father just celebrated their 43rd wedding anniversary. Next month I will have been with my Khon Kaen wife nearly 15 years and have 2 children. We have never, and I repeat never, spoken a single bad word between us. We fit together like a jigsaw. Isn't that what a marriage should be about?

[G54]

G54, man i love your math! brilliant

Sadly he did not make provision for medical and other associated expenses...

Don't you have those anyway when you refuse to pay expenses for the sick buffalo and the wife beats you up and throws you out? Then when the wife does throw you out after a year you see how much it cost you. You start again and pay another 300,000 for the next wife

Ah and you pay for food, beer, petrol, water, electric etc. if you have a wife or not.

[473geo]

G54, man i love your math! brilliant

Sadly he did not make provision for medical and other associated expenses...

Don't you have those anyway when you refuse to pay expenses for the sick buffalo and the wife beats you up and throws you out? Then when the wife does throw you out after a year you see how much it cost you. You start again and pay another 300,000 for the next wife

Ah and you pay for food, beer, petrol, water, electric etc. if you have a wife or not.

Valid points.....but also a clear example of the type of women you meet, and perceive as, all Thai women......which we know is not the case.....

[britmaveric]

You are lucky, it should be more?? My response is you are lucky I am marrying you....

Any rate call her bluff and tell her fine you won't get married.

[Pakeha]

You are lucky, it should be more?? My response is you are lucky I am marrying you....

Any rate call her bluff and tell her fine you won't get married.

Or tell her you'll pay the 300k but you reaquire 500k, therefore you'll balance the difference and she can just deposit 200k in your bank account... Then your parents will allow you to marry.

[Kf6vci]

Try to cool it, then find a work around which keeps your gf's and her mother's face. You can get 100 brown bank notes and present those with some gold at the Tong Mun (?) ceremony. It gets returned right then and there...

Maybe MIL agrees to some investment for the common good of the new couple?

[obi1970]

Dont do it man

They asked and i considerd it but and the end iI did not pay and im still married to her

"run forrest run"

[Maizefarmer]

Hello all,

Yes, I already did a search on this, however found nothing or nobody which was in a similar situation. We have been together close to 4 years, however I had to return back to Germany last November, as I went nearly broke due to lots of bad investment decisions in 2008 and started a new job this January back home. My GF in meantime continued to work at her company and we had intention to get married by end of 2009. Sin Sod was never discussed until last week where she mentioned that I need to transfer her at least 300'000 baht to her account, otherwise it will not be possible to get married, as her mother is demanding it. She knows that i am just about to rebuild my life and this takes at least one year or longer. She is from a rubber farmer family in south, not poor but like most they just get by, also, educated at Ramkamhaeng Uni, 33, and speaks English fluent.

So before wedding, she said, money must be in her account.....or no wedding or we have to postpone it to next year and i could be lucky that i only need to pay 300000 as normally she should get more......is this way it works?? I should know after many years in TH but i am bit surprised still....

No - this is not the way it works. It should be open to discussion, and not used as a threat.

4 year relationship - surely you guys can sit down and work this out because it doesn't sound like to me this is a rip off attempt.