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Yank Faces Twenty Years In Thai Jail For Being 'boring'

Jingthing

By Jingthing
in ASEAN NOW Community Pub

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Jingthing Legendary Member

Jingthing

Posted
Posted (edited)

An Amercan man from northern rural Minnesota is facing a twenty-year sentence in a hellish Thai prison for being ‘boring’ to an official.

Hardware store clerk Joe Plumber, from Lake Sonofagun, northern Minnesota, was ending a holiday with his wife of 50 years when Thai authorities in Bangkok airport detained him on January 31, preventing him from returning to the USA.

Immigration officials suspected Plumbers’ passport was too boring as it was nine years old and had only the one stamp. Speaking to The National Enquirer via morse code from Thailand, Plumber said: “A woman at immigration was looking at my passport and then handed it to the man behind her. I was ushered to sit down whilst he took out a magnifying glass and proceeded to check my passport for half an hour,” he explained.

Then Mr. Joe Plumber thought telling the story of his son Homer's exploits on the high school football team might make the immigration official realize that "good people is good people." After two hours of the most boring story he had ever heard the official regretted ever becoming fluent in English and had no choice but to make the very serious charges of 'boring behavior beyond the pale of humane toleration'.

In the ancient culture of Thailand, being boring is considered a crime worse than murder.

He was told that he was not getting on the plane and was taken to a detention center, whilst his wife Doris was able to fly back to the USA. Plumber said: “I’m a big fat old white man so I’m used to getting ignored at airports, so I had a good laugh over the unexpected attention.” For three weeks, the 74-year old was held with 1,126 naked men in a cramped prison cell measuring 10 meters square.

“Thai prisons are notorious for being some of the worst. There is no privacy. You go to the toilet in the open and there is no toilet paper. There were guys in there that had genital warts and Tiger tattoos and were next to me,” said Plumber.

He contacted the American embassy, who confirmed his passport was indeed almost never used. They tried to explain that most Americans do not even have a passport at all. However, the amiable Yank claims that the embassy should have done more to explain just how provincial Americans are.

“I was tired as a gopher wrapping Christmas presents. People talk of them [the USA embassy] like they are the cavalry. If you have issues abroad they come charging to help. But they didn’t really help me,” he mused in a monotone emotionless voice. Plumber denies the charge of ‘boring behavior beyond the pale of humane toleration’ towards an immigration officer. "Who doesn't love high school football?" He was released on $25,000 bail. He must remain in Thailand until his trial begins on April 26, and his lawyer has warned he could face a twenty-year jail sentence.

“I have to find some way to sustain myself financially while I am here. I went to Thailand to avoid spicy food but the travel agent said we were actually going to Taiwan." It’s turned into quite the adventure I can tell the folks back in Lake Sonofagun again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and then some more,” he said. Plumber is hoping that he will soon be able to fly back to the USA.

“If they find me guilty, who knows what will happen. I met people in prison who are doing five hundred years for having two spliffs on them. I don't know what spliffs are but they sound bad." A spokesman for the Obama administration told the press they are too busy spending trillions of dollars to be bothered with phone calls.

Edited by Jingthing
Lancelot Platinum Member

Lancelot

Posted
Posted

You gotta admit Jing, the guy had it comming. To be boring in Thailand IS a very serious charge. He'll probably only do 10 years max :o

Jingthing Legendary Member

Jingthing

Posted
  • Author
Posted

True that, if you're going to do the crime, be ready to do the time. No sympathy from me! These boring old Americans are so used to being boring at home they think they can just go abroad and be boring there. Good to make an example of this insufferable old coot!

bangkokrick Platinum Member

bangkokrick

Posted
Posted
An Amercan man from northern rural Minnesota is facing a twenty-year sentence in a hellish Thai prison for being ‘boring’ to an official.

Hardware store clerk Joe Plumber, from Lake Sonofagun, northern Minnesota, was ending a holiday with his wife of 50 years when Thai authorities in Bangkok airport detained him on January 31, preventing him from returning to the USA.

Immigration officials suspected Plumbers’ passport was too boring as it was nine years old and had only the one stamp. Speaking to The National Enquirer via morse code from Thailand, Plumber said: “A woman at immigration was looking at my passport and then handed it to the man behind her. I was ushered to sit down whilst he took out a magnifying glass and proceeded to check my passport for half an hour,” he explained.

Then Mr. Joe Plumber thought telling the story of his son Homer's exploits on the high school football team might make the immigration official realize that "good people is good people." After two hours of the most boring story he had ever heard the official regretted ever becoming fluent in English and had no choice but to make the very serious charges of 'boring behavior beyond the pale of humane toleration'.

In the ancient culture of Thailand, being boring is considered a crime worse than murder.

He was told that he was not getting on the plane and was taken to a detention center, whilst his wife Doris was able to fly back to the USA. Plumber said: “I’m a big fat old white man so I’m used to getting ignored at airports, so I had a good laugh over the unexpected attention.” For three weeks, the 74-year old was held with 1,126 naked men in a cramped prison cell measuring 10 meters square.

“Thai prisons are notorious for being some of the worst. There is no privacy. You go to the toilet in the open and there is no toilet paper. There were guys in there that had genital warts and Tiger tattoos and were next to me,” said Plumber.

He contacted the American embassy, who confirmed his passport was indeed almost never used. They tried to explain that most Americans do not even have a passport at all. However, the amiable Yank claims that the embassy should have done more to explain just how provincial Americans are.

“I was tired as a gopher wrapping Christmas presents. People talk of them [the USA embassy] like they are the cavalry. If you have issues abroad they come charging to help. But they didn’t really help me,” he mused in a monotone emotionless voice. Plumber denies the charge of ‘boring behavior beyond the pale of humane toleration’ towards an immigration officer. "Who doesn't love high school football?" He was released on $25,000 bail. He must remain in Thailand until his trial begins on April 26, and his lawyer has warned he could face a twenty-year jail sentence.

“I have to find some way to sustain myself financially while I am here. I went to Thailand to avoid spicy food but the travel agent said we were actually going to Taiwan." It’s turned into quite the adventure I can tell the folks back in Lake Sonofagun again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and then some more,” he said. Plumber is hoping that he will soon be able to fly back to the USA.

“If they find me guilty, who knows what will happen. I met people in prison who are doing five hundred years for having two spliffs on them. I don't know what spliffs are but they sound bad." A spokesman for the Obama administration told the press they are too busy spending trillions of dollars to be bothered with phone calls.

Sounds like a dream come true for you Jing!

Only joking could not resist.

Cheers, Rick

Jingthing Legendary Member

Jingthing

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Sounds like a dream come true for you Jing!

If life serves you lemons, make lemonade. That's something Joe Plumber would say, I better watch my back ...

bangkokrick Platinum Member

bangkokrick

Posted
Posted
Sounds like a dream come true for you Jing!

If life serves you lemons, make lemonade. That's something Joe Plumber would say, I better watch my back ...

Seriously this is yet another disgrace for Thailand closely following the incident in Phuket which carried a 2 year jail sentence.

Cheers, Rick

sbk Star Member

sbk

Posted
Posted

Nice story jing, you make it up or copy paste it from somewhere else? If so, please cite your source :o

Jingthing Legendary Member

Jingthing

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Nice story jing, you make it up or copy paste it from somewhere else? If so, please cite your source :D

Thanks. I took the original first post story from the Simon thread and modified it for Joe Plumber. The modification is all from moi.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?s=...t&p=2570310

Haha, you guys are so stupid. You actually had me scratching my head for a moment there. :o

In any case, the takeaway here is:

In the ancient culture of Thailand, being boring is considered a crime worse than murder.

Jingthing Legendary Member

Jingthing

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
Fair effort, C+

Got anything original?

It is actually a comment on the Simon case. But if I have to explain that, it didn't work for you.

Original? No, since I moved to Thailand, I find I have assimilated into the local culture and only COPY.

Edited by Jingthing
ajarnmark Silver Member

ajarnmark

Posted
Posted
Sounds like a dream come true for you Jing!

If life serves you lemons, make lemonade. That's something Joe Plumber would say, I better watch my back ...

Seriously this is yet another disgrace for Thailand closely following the incident in Phuket which carried a 2 year jail sentence.

Cheers, Rick

Rick do you seriously think this is a real story? :o

Pakeha Silver Member

Pakeha

Posted
Posted
Sounds like a dream come true for you Jing!

If life serves you lemons, make lemonade. That's something Joe Plumber would say, I better watch my back ...

Seriously this is yet another disgrace for Thailand closely following the incident in Phuket which carried a 2 year jail sentence.

Cheers, Rick

Rick do you seriously think this is a real story? :o

If there was a group of people I would detain for boredom it would be americans... other than TV members of course :D All your brothers and sisters need to leave the motherland for goodness sakes. I heard George Bush had to get a passport when he became president - <deleted>?

Texpat Silver Member

Texpat

Posted
Posted

I agree -- Americans should all shave their heads, get covered in tattoos, wear silly soccer shirts and act like idiots, become instant cheap-charlies and forsake soap.

Won't that be exciting?

Pakeha Silver Member

Pakeha

Posted
Posted
All your brothers and sisters need to leave the motherland for goodness sakes.

I am afraid most are too broke for that now.

Please... If kiwis can get further than Samoa surely the yanks can get off the 'land of opportunity'... Should I start another exchange rate thread?

Jingthing Legendary Member

Jingthing

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)

Uh oh!

:o:D :D

Joe Plumber spotted boring an elderly Swedish couple at the Jim Thompson silk store with his story about his wife Doris' recipe for blackberry pie. Won the "least smelly baked goods" prize at the church bizarre, apparently. The Swedes have had enough and are headed back to Sweden prematurely.

Edited by Jingthing
  • 2 weeks later...

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