Does Anyone Have A Thai Male Friend?

[corkman]

I have a number of Thai male friends and they are kind and helpful.

As a general rule, men don't have a lot of friends, especially as they get older. Most men limit their social circle to people they work with. Women, on the other hand, are very gregarious and they will drag the hubby/boyfriend along who will be forced to be friends with her girl friends' partners. It's the way life is.

There are drinking buddies, golf buddies etc. But over the years, friendships become fewer and fewer. \

It's in the nature of men, I guess.

couldn't describe it better

Yes, I'd go along with that aswell, generally.

But at the same time, yes I have Thai male friends too.... I don't live in Thailand but I spend allot of time out there (Thai wife) and we visit a good friend of mine (English bloke) - I would say at least two thirds of his friends are Thai men, and he spends more of his free time around at their house or them at his his...... allot more than he spends time with expat buddies. Some of those thai blokes would be my friends also, and I'd be friendly with a few others that aren't so friendly with him...... I've known these guys for 7-8yrs at least.

I dunno - to a certain extent, it seems to me that while's Thai's can be of a soft nature, they are also very hard in certain ways > and they have a strange way on interpreting things..... and if the hardness / softness is portraited in the wrong proportions you could be seen as a weak person or as a mean person...... I do notice that it is not every farang that Thai men will befriend..... but it is not every Thai man I would befriend either.

Is there prehaps an element of racism / resentment there? For example, there are alot of Polish where I live (in Ireland)..... whilst the lads down the pub will gladly chat up the fit Polish bar maid, and oogle at the sexy Polish women walking down the street, they will in the next breath complain about the Polish taking their jobs and wouldn't give the men the time of day....... is it maybe that the Thai men get a bit put out when they see "their" women "smiling" and being perhaps (in their bias / envious view) over friendly with western men..... maybe there is a bit of resentment there.......

I dunno..... cest la vie I guess

[Sisaketmike]

I don't know about members here, but my husband is Thai and his closest friend is an English man. I suspect its because he is married to me, he can relate to foreigners better than most Thais.

But let me ask you this question, do you go out of your way to try and make friendships with total strangers with whom you have nothing in common? Why would a Thai be any different?

Also, just curious, have you ever made an effort to be friendly to the neighborhood men? Why do you assume the looks are hostile? Could be, they are just watching you walk your dog and thinking of something entirely different than you. It seems to me that so many foreigners in Thailand come here with some kind of notion that either everyone is their friend or everyone is out to get them when the fact is that most Thai people are living their lives and minding their own business and pay you no mind.

It was interesting to me once I learned to understand the conversations around me how very very few of them had anything to do with me and how generally unimportant I was in the general scheme of people's lives.

I totally agree with you....I think he doesn't speak Thai, right? If he could talk to them he'd understand that they're also human beings like this' bloke'. It's quiet ridiculous to write about people you can't talk to. The girls are only smiling because it seems that he's got a white face. White faces have money. People in a small village have nothing. But they don't kick your ass, what they'd do in this ' bloke's' country to others who don't look like them or using another language. Thanks a lot......

[brahmburgers]

Coventry, it seems that you're so brainless, like a piece of shit. Rocking horse shit? That's in your mind, and in your brain,. It's time that some people here are telling you the right way to go....Get the sh..out of here now !!!!!

different strokes, dude. I thought the 'rocking horse shit' comment was a funny - the first genuine chuckle I've had all day, and it's almost midnight. What's the name: 'Comic Sans MS' mean? Without muscular distrophy ? ....without menstral symptoms? ......without monkey shit?

P.S. Any Thai who would have me as a friend would have to have such bad judgment of character, I wouldn't reciprocate.

Edited March 16, 2009 by brahmburgers

[Swelters]

Quite an interesting topic, this. What is a friend? I've been here for some time and think that Thai relations are pretty much "family" with family expanded in some degree to include government cadres and university classes. "Church" is irrelevant as is the neighborhood pub. In the village one often feels that say recent immigrants though seemingly Thai are not even considered to be people. I was once talking with an Armenian in Hollywood US who had lived for years in a neighborhood called Thaitown with about fifty percent Thai. He told me quite sincerely that he had never heard of such a people.

Swelters

[qualtrough]

My impression is that the concept of "friendship" as it is in the West, doesn't exist in Thai culture. People seem to be very close with neighbours and colleagues, but out of sight out of mind. Often the person moving or quitting won't even bother to say goodbyes.

There seems to be hardly any such thing as long time friends staying in touch no matter where they move. I know that higher class Thais often stay in touch after graduating from university, but this is mainly because networking is good for the career or the business.

I get along very well with male relatives of my wife, but this I wouldn't call friendship, it's just that fate brought us together.

Also my relationships with Thai men I am doing business with are cordial enough, chatting together about the tourist business, but also this wouldn't qualify as "frienship" in the Western sense of the word.

Often Thai staff was amazed seeing me talking for hours with some farang friend visiting my place. Two Thai "friends" meeting would just finish a small bottle of whisky, and than go looking for ladies.

Oh well, probably lots of people will chip in who have loads of real Thai friends. They might even point out that after having lived here for 18 years, apparently my level of understanding Thai culture is still zero, and my integration level likewise zilch.

Where in Thailand do you live? I ask because I do not recognize the place or people you describe. Seriously.

[Yaaklenmai]

I've lived and worked in Thailand for 14 years, am married to a Thai, have 2 kids meet many Thai males through work and socially but have never had a friendship with a Thai male. I have or have had friends from Australia, England, France, New Zealand, USA, Sweden, India, Germany, Philippines, Singapore, Canada, West Indies, Chile, Italy, Greece, China, Equador, Poland, Fiji, Japan, Norway, Russia, Serbia, South Africa, Ireland, Wales, Scotland, Zimbabwe etc and probably more. In addition I don't think that any of my expat friends have Thai male friends either. The closest I have to a Thai friend is a half English bloke, who is very Thai but we haven't so much as had a beer in 10 years. If I meet Thai blokes I find that I don't have anything in common at all.

I bought a house in a mooban that is 97% Thai and while I have friendships with the Thai women, I do not get along with the males at all. In fact, when I go for a walk I get smiles etc. from the women and hostile suspicious stares from the men. I don't have parties, play loud music, my place is tidy and I am respectful to neighbors.

In conclusion, I can only assume that I am committing some major cultural no-no or that Thai men are almost an entirely different species to every other race on earth.

I am sure that some of the TV members have Thai male friends, but I bet that most don't.

Sorry mate.

I became bored after you listed "friends" from "Australia, England, France, New Zealand, USA, Sweden, India, Germany, Philippines, Singapore, Canada, West Indies, Chile, Italy, Greece, China, Equador, Poland, Fiji, Japan, Norway, Russia, Serbia, South Africa, Ireland, Wales, Scotland, Zimbabwe etc".

I have Thai male friends but have never thought about the nationalities of others.

Maybe, that is your problem?

[keestha]

Cultural differences make people stick to their own kind.

For 6 years, I lived in Hua Hin where there are lots of resident farangs. The English speaking community and the German speaking community hardly interacted ( though the cultural difference isn't really that big), so how can you expect them to interact with the culturally completely different Thais?

On another note, how many UK residents who have foreign roots (maybe even second generation) have mainstream British friends? I am just taking the UK as an example, it could have been the Netherlands, Spain or wherever.

[bonobo]

I have maybe 6 very close friends in the world.  Two are American men.  One is a Japanese man. One is a Thai woman.  And two are Thai men.

I met the Thai woman and one man (they are now married to each other) while getting my Ph.D. They were fellow candidates.  They introduced me to the other Thai man.  

[kurnell]

I don't know about members here, but my husband is Thai and his closest friend is an English man. I suspect its because he is married to me, he can relate to foreigners better than most Thais.

But let me ask you this question, do you go out of your way to try and make friendships with total strangers with whom you have nothing in common? Why would a Thai be any different?

Also, just curious, have you ever made an effort to be friendly to the neighborhood men? Why do you assume the looks are hostile? Could be, they are just watching you walk your dog and thinking of something entirely different than you. It seems to me that so many foreigners in Thailand come here with some kind of notion that either everyone is their friend or everyone is out to get them when the fact is that most Thai people are living their lives and minding their own business and pay you no mind.

It was interesting to me once I learned to understand the conversations around me how very very few of them had anything to do with me and how generally unimportant I was in the general scheme of people's lives.

I totally agree with you....I think he doesn't speak Thai, right? If he could talk to them he'd understand that they're also human beings like this' bloke'. It's quiet ridiculous to write about people you can't talk to. The girls are only smiling because it seems that he's got a white face. White faces have money. People in a small village have nothing. But they don't kick your ass, what they'd do in this ' bloke's' country to others who don't look like them or using another language. Thanks a lot......

I wouldn't describe Bangkok as a small village. The neighbors are all Chinese-Thai. Sorry, but they are a miserable lot.

[kurnell]

I've lived and worked in Thailand for 14 years, am married to a Thai, have 2 kids meet many Thai males through work and socially but have never had a friendship with a Thai male. I have or have had friends from Australia, England, France, New Zealand, USA, Sweden, India, Germany, Philippines, Singapore, Canada, West Indies, Chile, Italy, Greece, China, Equador, Poland, Fiji, Japan, Norway, Russia, Serbia, South Africa, Ireland, Wales, Scotland, Zimbabwe etc and probably more. In addition I don't think that any of my expat friends have Thai male friends either. The closest I have to a Thai friend is a half English bloke, who is very Thai but we haven't so much as had a beer in 10 years. If I meet Thai blokes I find that I don't have anything in common at all.

I bought a house in a mooban that is 97% Thai and while I have friendships with the Thai women, I do not get along with the males at all. In fact, when I go for a walk I get smiles etc. from the women and hostile suspicious stares from the men. I don't have parties, play loud music, my place is tidy and I am respectful to neighbors.

In conclusion, I can only assume that I am committing some major cultural no-no or that Thai men are almost an entirely different species to every other race on earth.

I am sure that some of the TV members have Thai male friends, but I bet that most don't.

Sorry mate.

I became bored after you listed "friends" from "Australia, England, France, New Zealand, USA, Sweden, India, Germany, Philippines, Singapore, Canada, West Indies, Chile, Italy, Greece, China, Equador, Poland, Fiji, Japan, Norway, Russia, Serbia, South Africa, Ireland, Wales, Scotland, Zimbabwe etc".

I have Thai male friends but have never thought about the nationalities of others.

Maybe, that is your problem?

Maybe if you're bored you should have a drink?

[kurnell]

Several of the members here have talked about the looks (evil eye) they get from Thai males.

In my humble oppinion, I think in most of the cases it is just a missunderstanding.

or cuold be because that thai man got bad vibe from farang man. if the idea that they put here is what they act like toward thai men in real life i wuold look not nice at them too.

you think all farang man give bad vibe. Small idea

[LadyHeather]

Perhaps you are misreading the post. I think the poster was suggesting that those who feel they are getting the evil eye could be getting it because of their own hostile and superior attitude.

Whereas I think the truth is rather closer to the fact that they are probably not paying any attention at all and the person thinking they are getting the evil eye is only assuming it because they are projecting their own anger and fears on to someone else.

[kurnell]

Projecting...hostile...superior what? I think you need to lay of the self-help books.

You are missing the point of my post. The angry neighbor is a side issue.

95% of my straight, farang, male friends do not have Thai male friends. These are blokes from various countries between the age of 25-55, usually fully employed, mostly married to Thai women. This is a fact.

[Geekfreaklover]

One of best friends in thailand is a 63 year old Thai male. He grew up in a shack in Sura Thani province. Six people in one room. He did well at school and eventually won a scolarship to study in the USA. New York. After studying he returned to Thailand and worked first as a teacher and then as a social worker helping the Burmese refugees on the Thai/ Burmese border. He worked with various outside NGOs. The money was good and he invested heavily in a home, and land for his family.

His wife had a gambling problem and lost something to the tune of 14m baht of their combined earnings whilst he was working on the Thai / Burma border. He returned home to discover he had lost everything. They divorced, his ex married a farang.

His children are now fully grown up, his daughter is a airline hostess and his son studying engeneering in Sweden

He is one of the best friends I have in Thailand and has taught me much about this country.

GFL

[unforgiven]

I've been here 17 years never had a thai male friend,they see us a buffalo ATM"s..............it's to bad,but that's the way it is.

Like anything, you would be wrong to think 100% of thai males think this way.

correct. I have friends that do have thai male friends ,but it's difficult and rarely an" equal relationship".If you know what I mean.

[Jimjim]

Yes, at least two from my last workplace. One of them is quite the upstanding gentleman. I haven't met a nicer, more forthright person in Thailand than him.

I also have a casual male Thai friend who managed my apartment when last in Bangkok. He was a nice bloke and we hung out once or twice. Like any casual friend, though, I wouldn't trust him with my life.

Edited April 9, 2009 by Jimjim

[patklang]

not in the slightest.To steal suggests that the thai man owned the woman,but the truth is that many thai women are so fed up with thai men for getting them pregnant then dumping them for something more fresh and many farangs take care of them kids,so dont come on here claiming we are stealing the women,what crap.do farang women steal the thai men off the the thai women,whats the difference other than you might be looking after the baby,but unlikely.

Patklang... ninny, what the ladies are being to coy to point out and say in straight english is YOU MISREAD SBKS POST AND ARE ENTIRELY WRONG ABOUT WHO POSTED WHAT. Even after they requote the "offending" quotes to show that she didnt say what you say she said you just continue on berating her like she did say it.... pretty retarded of you if you ask me. SHE NEVER SAID FALANGS STEAL THAI WOMEN. Learn to read.

I didnt ask you

[payasugo]

Haha, myself... I think it is just easier to make foreign friends because you have something in common from the start, you are both foreigners that like to stay in Thailand.

Never the less it is not impossible to make thai friends at all, but some key aspects are nesisairy. Firstly you should understand the language, and adjust your behaviour to the culture. Also socializing would help, play sports (or whatever group activities you like) together with them and build up a friendship by doing group related things and i can assure you that making friends is not that hard at all.

[scorecard]

I've lived / worked in Thailand for more than 20 years.

I've established many frienships with Thai men over the years, and it hasn't been difficult to do so.

I regularly get calls from Thai male friends who I haven't seen for several years, often it's a reunion of an old work team etc., they always include me, and we always have a good time.

I have an adopted son (100% Thai ) who brings his university friends home (male & female) and I have very good and open friendships with them, there is no hesitation to talk together, they all feel relaxed to ask me questions, show me something in a book or magazine and ask interesting questions about what they see. We often have a cooking night (i'm lucky enought to have a good size and well equipped kitchen), I 'supervise' them to cook some basic western dishes and they 'supervise' me to cook some very simple Thai dishes.

[futureexpat]

I've had plenty of male Thai friends. We play in basketball and football leagues, work, go to dinner, and go out drinking together. That being said, it's definitely easier for me to get to know other foreigners. Having male friends who are Thai can also help you in your relationships with Thai women.

[teacup]

.... Having male friends who are Thai can also help you in your relationships with Thai women.

Hmm...I'm not so sure that they always can help you

I would say.....it depends on "who they are", and "the type" of thai women they are hanging out with

[Geekfreaklover]

I only have one Thai male friend. He speaks fluent English, lived in the State before, so we speak in English together.

Am sure if I learnt the Thai language to a more advanced level then Iwould have more Thai male friends. But then again most of the Thai blokes I speak with in Thia only want to speak about football and politics, two great subjects, but I can't express myself well enough.