Do Gay People Know If You Are Gay?

[secretman]

I'm a straight guy and was just wondering if gay people know if you are gay or straight. Some people told me they do but I've been hit on and grabbed by gays before.

Also, would it be cool if I go sit down at Silom soi 4 to watch gays doing their thing. I like to people watch.

[Jingthing]

Sometimes we know, sometimes we don't. We know more clues than you do, but our skills at "gaydar" vary and many gays don't present any clues. If you sit in a gay area, you will be assumed to be gay unless you appear extremely straight in which case we will you think you are lost. Some gays will hit on any male they are attracted to hoping they might get lucky, you know the old saying, whats the difference between a gay guy and a straight guy? A six-pack (of beer).

Edited March 16, 2009 by Jingthing

[endure]

Sometimes we know, sometimes we don't. We know more clues than you do, but our skills at "gaydar"vary and many gays don't present any clues. If you sit in a gay area, you will be assumed to be gay unless you appear extremely straight in which case we will you think you are lost.

Either that or trying too hard.

[Ijustwannateach]

If OP is serious, and not still looking for ladyboys, then most gays can guess if someone is gay and looking around for same- straight men usually don't make the same kind of eye contact, or spend the same amount of time looking at men rather than women.

You will be assumed to be gay as JT says, and if there's any chance that being treated as such by other gays might offend you, then you should probably stay away.

[Jingthing]

That's a good point about eye contact. Straight men freak out if you look them in the eye for more than a moment. Living in Pattaya my gaydar is out of tune as there is really no need for it here. People just grab at you as you walk down the street ... (crotch area, wallet area. same same)

Edited March 16, 2009 by Jingthing

[secretman]

They don't offend me, I ain't homophobic. I've been grabbed on before as I said, I just smile and walk away. I am mostly just interested in observing alternate lifestyles.

[PeaceBlondie]

Those who know me personally may suspect I am gay. But I spent my first 40 years perfecting the style of a straight man, and I do a lousy falsetto.

[TexasRanger]

I do a lousy falsetto.

Is that a posh word for blowjob?

[Jingthing]

They don't offend me, I ain't homophobic. I've been grabbed on before as I said, I just smile and walk away. I am mostly just interested in observing alternate lifestyles.

I understand entirely. That is why I am always crashing weddings.

[Ijustwannateach]

Ah, I knew it! It's that thing you have for getting the groom before the bride has her chance!

[onni4me]

I really can't tell by face value whether someone is gay or not. Same if I would be asked if someone is HIV+ positive. Can't tell unless it's obvious.

I just wonder why totally straight guy would like to spend his evening in a gay area?

We used to set rules for straights when they tried to push us out of our 'living room' which was a small bar in Helsinki. We are no animals and wish not to be stared or observed as such. Many people - especially in groups - thought they could come and laugh at us since they considered it to be fun. I can tell you: It's NOT!

Another thing is the heteroes that come to gay venues with their gay friends. They normally have good self-esteem and are sure about themselves so no need for any phobias. I simply don't trust straight people to behave. Let us stay in our own places. I am not intruding to yours for reasons mentioned before.

[Jimjim]

I'm not gay but gay friends that liked me have kissed me before. Does that count?

[flightcrew1]

Good question. I always joke about "gaydar" but I think I can generally tell...but of course have been fooled many times. Though I'm always surprised when straight people think I'm straight. I had one Thai colleague who told me she stood up for me when asked by another colleague if I was gay. She told me that she said that "I was 100pct man". This makes me laugh as those of us who live here know Thai use Man or Gay. I always try explaining that I'm a man but gay as well.

As far as coming down Soi4. Please do as it is great people watching and I find it very mixed anyway.

[TexasRanger]

I'm not gay but gay friends that liked me have kissed me before. Does that count?

Gay as a lord

[krading]

So much for the old 'secret hand shake' theory

[OxfordWill]

What you really wanna do is be bisexual, that completely throws them off, sometimes they even self combust!

(joking)

[Pakeha]

Do Gay People Know If You Are Gay?

I hope not... Because I wasn't even aware of it... and my fiance would be very angry with me

Sorry guys - I couldn't resist.

I reckon gay guys are just like straight guys. We try it on with people we are keen on. If a straight guy is interested in a woman does he stop to think she might be a lesbian or just go for it and give it a go?

[yumidesign]

I'm a straight guy and was just wondering if gay people know if you are gay or straight. Some people told me they do but I've been hit on and grabbed by gays before.

Also, would it be cool if I go sit down at Silom soi 4 to watch gays doing their thing. I like to people watch.

Yes i think in most cases a gay guy is able to tell by looking at another guy if he is straight or not. It mainly depends on the return look that you get but there other factors such as body language and style. Mistaken identity can happen but experience helps overcome this possibility

People watching is fun and appreciated by people of any sexual persuasion. Being hit on by another man sounds fun to me

[peter991]

Here in Australia it's a bit of a challenge - gaydar is often wrong. The smiles I get back from people I smile at are mostly just people being friendly.

In Thailand sexuality is very fluid. Give any Thai male a smile and a bit of eye contact and 9 times out of 10 it can lead to more ...

Peter

[onni4me]

I have met several people that spoke like gays, acted like gays, and I thought they must be gay - but I was wrong. It seems that even in the West all these roles are blurred. Just think of metrosexuality...whatever that means, can't even imagine even I am gay. The very idea that I would be everything at all times and appear in every color imaginable, makes me think that what would I be then?

This reminds me of the book 'Lord of the Rings' where Gandalf faces his former friend who has turned to arch enemy. In that part Saruman has become 'Saruman of all colors' and Gandalf tells him that then he has given up reason and has chosen madness. Sort of rings the bell. Nowadays, hand in hand with liberation, people seem to have lost their inner compass. What they really want and how they feel inside. I am a great believer of listening yourself. I have many times noticed when I am not happy with some aspect of my life and noticed that the easy way out is to confront it. The quicker, the better.

Many, who appear as 'gay' or liberal may totally 'change color' if you get close to them. They may feel that their private space is been threatened and act accordingly. This why I am not comfortable necessarily in straight bars or establishments. They are okay if I don't reveal my colors but when taking my bf along or something similar, things can take a nasty turn. Sometimes I wonder why straight guys can go "observing" gays without being threatened but the other way around one might risk his integrity and even worse.

[alyx]

I really can't tell by face value whether someone is gay or not. Same if I would be asked if someone is HIV+ positive. Can't tell unless it's obvious.

Oooops I would say you are wrong on both counts

How can you tell a posh "precieux" hetero is straight: the obvious would lead you to think that the guy is gay whereas many gays look and act straight

As for the second part: since when is it obvious that someone has got HIV: it reminds me of my stay in South Korea where people often asked me if I were sick because they could see stains (coming from over exposure to the sun) on my skin (mind you that was 20 years ago but as you might know these die hard behaviour.

Or maybe could you point out the obvious

[pauleddy]

I think that the OP is a mythical nordic folklore creature type, first letter rhymes with see.

Don't waste yr time.

[dukkha]

Mr Eddy, you have been conspicuous by your absence from the threads or is it that I am only haveing another senior moment?

I think you made a post some hundred years ago that I quite liked....do we hear more from you young man? Dukkah

[Scott]

I can't always tell if someone is gay, but I can wish!

Actually my gaydar is rather poor, but my boyfriend has amazing gaydar. He seems to spot them before they know they are gay.

[paulfromphuket]

I can't always tell if someone is gay, but I can wish!

Actually my gaydar is rather poor, but my boyfriend has amazing gaydar. He seems to spot them before they know they are gay.

I thought it was right ear pierced poof left just trendy.

or was it the handkerchief in the left pocket cant remember.

maybe the OP wants us to all wear a badge like the Jews in Warsaw had to, oh my god i have been hit on my a gay guy oh sh#t! am I in a gay bar???.IDIOT.

go to the zoo and watch monkies 4 fun

[endure]

Depends on what era you were born in. It used to be suede shoes or a tattoo of a swallow in the web between your thumb and finger

[toptuan]

For some odd reason, my gaydar is completely nonexistent. That handicap does have some nice side benefits, however, which come in the form of pleasant surprises.

Like when one of my "str8" Thai friends (whom I'd known for nearly a year) grabbed me and passionately hugged and kissed me in a public restroom (no one else there).

Or when, on a group trip to Bangkok, five of us (supposedly all str8 guys, ahem) stayed in one hotel room, sleeping everywhere (sofa, floor, beds); typical MO for Thais on a group trip. Being the only farang, I was honored to get one of the beds for myself. One of my longtime "str8" Thai friends crawled into my bed in the middle of the night and whispered sweetly "Can I hug you?"

Sigh.

[Eman]

I'm a straight guy and was just wondering if gay people know if you are gay or straight. Some people told me they do but I've been hit on and grabbed by gays before.

Also, would it be cool if I go sit down at Silom soi 4 to watch gays doing their thing. I like to people watch.

I suspect your nick gives you away

[dukkha]

Are you hot Toptuan....?

or is it the same old thai story..

men cant sleep alone due to arrested emotional development...

Those thai wimmin have really done their thing with their boyz from my 10 years experience here..

I know you are hot Toptuan, just kidding as the thais say..

Dukkha

[catmac]

I don't know how true it is, but my (Thai) b/f always says that "goat can see goat"!