Time To Throw In The Towel With Thai Wife!

[Livinginexile]

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

Judging from earlier posts of his, Heng comes from a well-to-do, if not affluent Thai-Chinese family.

rant deleted - mario2008

Mike

Rant deleted.

[loong]

BAH! The afterlife better have bigger concerns with murdering and raping scum then people like Heng that take advantage of a mans bad choice in women. There's a kizzilion much worse people so lets hope THEY get their just deserts before we start wishing it on Heng.

Bottom line Heng, we are pissed at you because as a well educated and perhaps western common sense influenced person we expect you to have a sense of morality WE are familiar with and not the Thai version which really... has no basis in common sense or morality at all. What I would have done in your position is immediately contact the old husband of the woman bringing you his property and tell him whats going on and give him a chance to immediately buy back the loan and keep his property, more importantly letting him know full well what his evil scheming wife is doing so he can take steps to protect himself from her right away. Also, Thai law is setup to steal from the falang, and you are not breaking Thai law but you are totally supporting the setup structure that is letting Thai people continue to rob falangs over and over. In other countries there are laws that protect people, here there is not and you are taking advantage of that.

He has no soul or consience.

Imagine robbing an elderly gent like that and what is incredible, he feels he has done nothing wrong

I just can't believe you people.

I'm pretty sure that in Heng's first post he stated that this transaction was dealt with by his Aunt, not Heng personally.

Are you actually suggesting that everytime a Thai person applies for a loan secured on property that the lender visits the property and makes inquiries in case a Farang might live there??

I'll agree with you that the farang doesn't deserve it because he trusted his wife. But this happens so often and most people who do buy a house for their gf/wife are warned that it is a gift. Almost without fail these men have suffered from "My girl is different syndrome".

I feel sorry for these people, but at the same time I get p***ed off with seeing the same thing over and over again. These people are usually F***ing idiots who don't listen.

As far as I can see, nobody has done anything illegal here. Heng is not the bad party, the wife is the bad party. Only one person is guilty of anything and that is the husband... Found guilty as charged - extreme stupidity.

Any of the Newbies and not so Newbies that are reading this - If you live in Thailand, you CANNOT own land. Many of the people who post here and talk about their land, it is NOT THEIR land, it belongs to their wife or girlfriend. When you buy land in you wife's name, it belongs to HER. As soon as you hand over the money, it is GONE. If you don't want to say goodbye to the money, then DONT hand it over. It doesn't take a brain the size of a planet, a brain slightly larger than a pea should be adequate to understand this.

I known a few Farangs out here, buying houses and cars for their gf/wife, they've told me that they're doing it with their eyes wide open and if it ends in a seperation, it's still a lot cheaper than a divorce in the Uk..2 or 3 years later and it's a different story. They're bitter and twisted because all their life savings have disappeared. What they are saying is, "well I'd put so much money into this relationship, I couldn't afford to walk away, so I had to stick with it until the money ran out, then she was gone, ungrateful bitch!"

More marriages/relationships fail than succeed. Newbies, remember that. If your relationship fails, it is most likely you will come out with NOTHING.

I would love it if things were different. Me and my adopted family live on my income, we are hoping to buy some more land soon, but we have to save. (Note I use the word We, when I actually mean She, because I cannot own land). If I sold my property in the Uk, I could buy the whole village, but I'm not about to do that. As far as I'm concerned, my Uk property is mine and my income is the family's. What we spend comes from my income, not my life savings. If the laws were different and I could protect my capital, I would like to use my money to buy a really nice house with a big garden, but that's not possible.

[yabaaaa]

There are many foreign guys now that are warning; don’t get involved with Thai women. Love them and leave them. Short time is safe time.

Especially these days because of the world economic crisis, many are becoming desperate and seeing Farangs as an easy option to gaining a lot of money quickly.

In my own experience, I found this a few months ago, when I discovered my wife’s married sister in law selling herself on social networking sites with the knowledge of her husband.

There are probably many Thai girl Farang guy marriage success stories out there, but the message is clear: buyer beware, they are becoming more deceitful and cunning.

Check out this post I found on craigslist:

http://bangkok.craigslist.co.th/w4m/1057763943.html

Quite a pathetic ad Ill flag it for you, here try this one its much funnier...... http://bangkok.craigslist.co.th/hou/1063946553.html

Maybe they are just shy eh ?????

Edited March 26, 2009 by yabaaaa

[G54]

Good luck to the OP.

It can be awkward to 'come clean' even on a forum where you are at risk from being slagged off and told what a fool you are.

Also good to see more of this type of story coming out. Shows a lot of the ladies really are money mad, even though we know so deep down. If it helps others not make the same mistake 'marriage' then that is a good thing. hel_l, enough Thai couples live together, so why is it us poor suckers that have to get married?

A fantasy, I know, but it would be good for Thai ladies to share expenses. ( Understood not ALL Thai ladies are bad )

[rick75]

I am not defending Heng, but seriously give the guy a break.

He gets in the middle, the Farang doesn't believe him tells his wife, Heng ends up with a bullet in his back for messing with a Thai hooker.

He tells the guy, he still has no legal standing, she finds someone else to do the deal.

I feel for the old bloke it is not fair but neither is life, he gave away the money/house.

So many bleeding hearts on here today, I understand all you guys who have done the same thing are now fearfull of the future, but don't blame Heng.

[Heng]

Heng - if financial gain is more important than your serenity, or you have no moral underatanding, I pray you see the light before you die. You may not believe in after life, but I assure you there is one.

I'll be pleasantly surprised if there is an after life. Curiously, do you have proof or is this just a gut feeling going with the crowd kind of thing? When a good number of world religions are interpreted as wishing for X with a rock, tree, sculpture, or cross; without actually working for X... I call it like I see it.

The local version is usually I'll put some rice in a steel bowl and make a wish... because that would be a whole lot easier than actually saving my money and reinvesting it.

[Heng]

Bottom line Heng, we are pissed at you because as a well educated and perhaps western common sense influenced person we expect you to have a sense of morality WE are familiar with and not the Thai version which really... has no basis in common sense or morality at all. What I would have done in your position is immediately contact the old husband of the woman bringing you his property and tell him whats going on and give him a chance to immediately buy back the loan and keep his property, more importantly letting him know full well what his evil scheming wife is doing so he can take steps to protect himself from her right away. Also, Thai law is setup to steal from the falang, and you are not breaking Thai law but you are totally supporting the setup structure that is letting Thai people continue to rob falangs over and over. In other countries there are laws that protect people, here there is not and you are taking advantage of that.

That's all good. I have splatter guard piss shields.

We don't have the resources to follow up on every single loan we make. And hello, that's what's being done. He has the opportunity to buy back his property NOW. Or he can lease it. Given the decision making skills and judgement of character of a lot of guys, I hope he goes for choice B.

You may as well say Thai law is set up to rob the Apache or Navajo. The law is there for all to see, a prudent decision would have been to purchase a condo.

[Heng]

As a reality check to check Thai thinking:

I told my thai wife Hengs actions with the older farang, she was disgusted and said if he did that to a Thai he would be floating

down the Mekong

Wishful thinking at best. Most homes/properties that are foreclosed on are Thai owned.

[Heng]

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

Judging from earlier posts of his, Heng comes from a well-to-do, if not affluent Thai-Chinese family.

Now at least we know where all this wealth comes from.

Mike

Rant deleted

LOL. Sounds like an awful lot of pent up anger towards someone you don't even know. Or do you? Hopefully you're not a real life TV acquaintence who's just acting nice in public. Kinda like the haters who diss Thaksin/Ittiphon Khunpleum/etc. but grovel when they meet them in real life.

[Livinginexile]

Bottom line Heng, we are pissed at you because as a well educated and perhaps western common sense influenced person we expect you to have a sense of morality WE are familiar with and not the Thai version which really... has no basis in common sense or morality at all. What I would have done in your position is immediately contact the old husband of the woman bringing you his property and tell him whats going on and give him a chance to immediately buy back the loan and keep his property, more importantly letting him know full well what his evil scheming wife is doing so he can take steps to protect himself from her right away. Also, Thai law is setup to steal from the falang, and you are not breaking Thai law but you are totally supporting the setup structure that is letting Thai people continue to rob falangs over and over. In other countries there are laws that protect people, here there is not and you are taking advantage of that.

That's all good. I have splatter guard piss shields.

We don't have the resources to follow up on every single loan we make. And hello, that's what's being done. He has the opportunity to buy back his property NOW. Or he can lease it. Given the decision making skills and judgement of character of a lot of guys, I hope he goes for choice B.

You may as well say Thai law is set up to rob the Apache or Navajo. The law is there for all to see, a prudent decision would have been to purchase a condo.

He actually feels proud at what his family has done.

They knew the the elderly man did not know of the deal being done behind his back and they robbed him anyway!

Heng justifies his actions by claiming he "acted within the law" but in fact knew the farang was being ripped off.

I love Thailand, I love the culture and I love my Thai wife, it's just a pitty there are people like Heng that call themselves Thai.

Shame on you Heng, shame on you.

[LooseCannon]

Um, the house is owned by the woman. Not the old british geezer. If he was to be notified by Heng, then what? I mean really, at the end of the day, she would have had to give some sort of power of the property back to him. Unlikely to say the least

Like or hate the woman (and my pre-disposition would be to not to like her) she was doing everything legal and above board. Additionally, there isn't a thing anyone could do about it.

And additionally, why should I feel sorry for some bloke who came here, blows his money on some bird he met on holiday, and then decided to GIVE AWAY his money to her - presumably so he thinks he can have her for the rest of his life. I mean seriously people. He gave it away on his own accord, she didn't take it from him nor did she walk into Heng Suay pawn shop with a gun to his head and make him sign over the place.

they refuse to see it.

they are looking for something to relieve him of the consequences of his own poor decisions.

I think they see themselves in this old man. Anus clenching, ball tingling fear.

[Heng]

I just can't believe you people.

I'm pretty sure that in Heng's first post he stated that this transaction was dealt with by his Aunt, not Heng personally.

Are you actually suggesting that everytime a Thai person applies for a loan secured on property that the lender visits the property and makes inquiries in case a Farang might live there??

I'll agree with you that the farang doesn't deserve it because he trusted his wife. But this happens so often and most people who do buy a house for their gf/wife are warned that it is a gift. Almost without fail these men have suffered from "My girl is different syndrome".

I feel sorry for these people, but at the same time I get p***ed off with seeing the same thing over and over again. These people are usually F***ing idiots who don't listen.

As far as I can see, nobody has done anything illegal here. Heng is not the bad party, the wife is the bad party. Only one person is guilty of anything and that is the husband... Found guilty as charged - extreme stupidity.

I don't mind catching the flak on her behalf, it is a family business after all. My funds may have been involved in all kinds of transactions that I didn't partake in personally. Pretty much my take as well though, only more elaborately stated (with some cursing as well).

I would love it if things were different. Me and my adopted family live on my income, we are hoping to buy some more land soon, but we have to save. (Note I use the word We, when I actually mean She, because I cannot own land). If I sold my property in the Uk, I could buy the whole village, but I'm not about to do that. As far as I'm concerned, my Uk property is mine and my income is the family's. What we spend comes from my income, not my life savings. If the laws were different and I could protect my capital, I would like to use my money to buy a really nice house with a big garden, but that's not possible.

Some prudent thinking. Nothing wrong with buying a condo to fall back on as well, especially if you wanted to continue to live here IF things went wrong. I have advised plenty of folks the same way, especially if their local partners seemed a bit shady.

[Heng]

He actually feels proud at what his family has done.

They knew the the elderly man did not know of the deal being done behind his back and they robbed him anyway!

Heng justifies his actions by claiming he "acted within the law" but in fact knew the farang was being ripped off.

I love Thailand, I love the culture and I love my Thai wife, it's just a pitty there are people like Heng that call themselves Thai.

Shame on you Heng, shame on you.

Not quite. I'd say it's closer to indifference with a distinct feeling sorry for the guy. Probably the equivalent of witnessing a traffic accident where one party was clearly at fault and one party gets away with it despite being the wrongful party.

What you're doing is blaming the auto manufacturer and perhaps the gas station a few miles back down the road.

[dbrenn]

I have been reading the board for a few years, and I thought I would never be one of those guys saying that the Thai woman I married 2 years ago, and was the perfect lady, has now become a greedy, nasty, disgusting woman with the ability to fly around the room on a broom.

I know, the same story, everything was going well until about 6 months ago, I started hearing and seeing changes for the worse. The comments about the friend who has a japanese sponsor who sends her 60-100,000 baht to sit around an do nothing, to the 34 year old thai lady who is a known butterfly, but has found a 60 year old guy from the UK to buy her a new toyota, and build a house (which is in her name)

I take responsibility for my adding to the equation of telling my wife, geez honey, things are bad in the US, I need to be careful with money, we need to wait to buy a house, condo, but the reality is, by US biz and holdings are doing better than ever etc. However, since I started this little sceme, my thai wife has been slowly slipping away, taking a little bit more clothes here and there, hanging out later with thai girlfriends near Suk and Asok late at night (may or may not be an infuence) and also, the talk has started about the "No money, no honey" theme, so I am actually glad I put her to the test!!

So, OK, it is time to cut my losses and lick my wounds and move on! Every day I meet decent hard working girls, and my wife also has a lot of great, single, not money greedy girls, but also, too many lazy vultures. I won't get into the nasty comments she has made about finding a rich falong, going to work in the bar and make her own money! (she works and makes about 10k baht, and I give her2-3000 baht for clothes, spa stuff, so I don't feel I was even being stingy, in addition, I always paid for everything)

The question is, how do I go about the divorce? As far as my wife knows, we have nothing of huge value to split up, she thinks the fridge and TV are sufficient (shows how I was thinking with the wrong head chosing someone so ignorant) Can't we just go peacefully to the Amphur where we filed the marriage?

As far as my Visa to stay here, is about up for renewal in 3 months, and from what I read, the 1 year visa's have come to an end.

Also, I have applied for her to get a USA, VISA, which we started about a year ago, so I need to cancel that, and how am I going to look if I find another foreign lady somewhere else in the World down the road?

Anyway, no use going on and on, you all get the point, I guess I just need to actually say it! The last thing I want to do is have to explain to my family and friends, how the wife I have been bragging about is now turned into a money grubbing ho? Doesn't make me look to bright!

Well, chime in a few thoughts. Mostly the quickest way to get the divorce over, and idea's on visa alternatives! I have kind of looked into the education type visa's, but not sure how that would apply due to the visa I have now.

I am just plain run down and worn out from all this BS, I just want to get her out of my life and move on!

Two ways to get a divorce in Thailand:

1) Administrative - at the Dictrict Office. Takes minutes but both of you have to agree to it, which she may not do given that you seem to be on less than favourable terms

2) In Court. You normally need grounds. From your post, there are no obvious ones, like adultery, so you might have to separate and wait 3 years. Grounds for divorce in court are as follows:

* A 3 year period of separation

* One spouse has deserted the other for over one year

* The husband has taken another woman as his wife

* The wife has committed adultery

* One spouse is guilty of misconduct (criminal or otherwise)

* One spouse has been imprisoned for more than one year

* One spouse has physically or mentally harmed the other

* Lack of marital support

* One spouse has had incurable insanity for at least 3 years

* One spouse has broken the bond of good behavior

* One spouse has an incurable communicable disease

* One spouse has a physical disability so as to be unable to cohabitate as husband and wife

Your wife has a right to half of all assets accrued during the marriage. SInce ther are none, she is more likely to delay and refuse the easy Administrative track. You might be in for a wait until you have grounds to take her to court.

See a lawyer - a good one, and they are very hard to find. Do your homework and find one that has experience with divorce, ask around and get references.

[IMA_FARANG]

I have been reading the board for a few years, and I thought I would never be one of those guys saying that the Thai woman I married 2 years ago, and was the perfect lady, has now become a greedy, nasty, disgusting woman with the ability to fly around the room on a broom.

I know, the same story, everything was going well until about 6 months ago, I started hearing and seeing changes for the worse. The comments about the friend who has a japanese sponsor who sends her 60-100,000 baht to sit around an do nothing, to the 34 year old thai lady who is a known butterfly, but has found a 60 year old guy from the UK to buy her a new toyota, and build a house (which is in her name)

I take responsibility for my adding to the equation of telling my wife, geez honey, things are bad in the US, I need to be careful with money, we need to wait to buy a house, condo, but the reality is, by US biz and holdings are doing better than ever etc. However, since I started this little sceme, my thai wife has been slowly slipping away, taking a little bit more clothes here and there, hanging out later with thai girlfriends near Suk and Asok late at night (may or may not be an infuence) and also, the talk has started about the "No money, no honey" theme, so I am actually glad I put her to the test!!

So, OK, it is time to cut my losses and lick my wounds and move on! Every day I meet decent hard working girls, and my wife also has a lot of great, single, not money greedy girls, but also, too many lazy vultures. I won't get into the nasty comments she has made about finding a rich falong, going to work in the bar and make her own money! (she works and makes about 10k baht, and I give her2-3000 baht for clothes, spa stuff, so I don't feel I was even being stingy, in addition, I always paid for everything)

The question is, how do I go about the divorce? As far as my wife knows, we have nothing of huge value to split up, she thinks the fridge and TV are sufficient (shows how I was thinking with the wrong head chosing someone so ignorant) Can't we just go peacefully to the Amphur where we filed the marriage?

As far as my Visa to stay here, is about up for renewal in 3 months, and from what I read, the 1 year visa's have come to an end.

Also, I have applied for her to get a USA, VISA, which we started about a year ago, so I need to cancel that, and how am I going to look if I find another foreign lady somewhere else in the World down the road?

Anyway, no use going on and on, you all get the point, I guess I just need to actually say it! The last thing I want to do is have to explain to my family and friends, how the wife I have been bragging about is now turned into a money grubbing ho? Doesn't make me look to bright!

Well, chime in a few thoughts. Mostly the quickest way to get the divorce over, and idea's on visa alternatives! I have kind of looked into the education type visa's, but not sure how that would apply due to the visa I have now.

I am just plain run down and worn out from all this BS, I just want to get her out of my life and move on!

Yes it is possible to get a divorce at the Amphur. All it requires is both sides to sign the paperwork (in Thai) that agrees to it. The kicker is: SHE must agree to an uncontested settlement of the joint property.

Now if she thinks you have no property of value, or she thinks she's getting a good deal by agreeing to the property settlement, then she may agree. If she thinks she could get a better deal by holding out for more, then the uncontested divorce isn't possible.

I know of one case where a Thai woman had already found a relatively well-off Geman boyfriend, so she was happy to let her current husband just go away without any arguement about property, so she could proceed to part the younger German fool from his money.

But, if she smells the possibility of money from you, she can hold out on the divorce until you pay her price.

Good luck

Edited March 26, 2009 by IMA_FARANG

[dbrenn]

I have been reading the board for a few years, and I thought I would never be one of those guys saying that the Thai woman I married 2 years ago, and was the perfect lady, has now become a greedy, nasty, disgusting woman with the ability to fly around the room on a broom.

I know, the same story, everything was going well until about 6 months ago, I started hearing and seeing changes for the worse. The comments about the friend who has a japanese sponsor who sends her 60-100,000 baht to sit around an do nothing, to the 34 year old thai lady who is a known butterfly, but has found a 60 year old guy from the UK to buy her a new toyota, and build a house (which is in her name)

I take responsibility for my adding to the equation of telling my wife, geez honey, things are bad in the US, I need to be careful with money, we need to wait to buy a house, condo, but the reality is, by US biz and holdings are doing better than ever etc. However, since I started this little sceme, my thai wife has been slowly slipping away, taking a little bit more clothes here and there, hanging out later with thai girlfriends near Suk and Asok late at night (may or may not be an infuence) and also, the talk has started about the "No money, no honey" theme, so I am actually glad I put her to the test!!

So, OK, it is time to cut my losses and lick my wounds and move on! Every day I meet decent hard working girls, and my wife also has a lot of great, single, not money greedy girls, but also, too many lazy vultures. I won't get into the nasty comments she has made about finding a rich falong, going to work in the bar and make her own money! (she works and makes about 10k baht, and I give her2-3000 baht for clothes, spa stuff, so I don't feel I was even being stingy, in addition, I always paid for everything)

The question is, how do I go about the divorce? As far as my wife knows, we have nothing of huge value to split up, she thinks the fridge and TV are sufficient (shows how I was thinking with the wrong head chosing someone so ignorant) Can't we just go peacefully to the Amphur where we filed the marriage?

As far as my Visa to stay here, is about up for renewal in 3 months, and from what I read, the 1 year visa's have come to an end.

Also, I have applied for her to get a USA, VISA, which we started about a year ago, so I need to cancel that, and how am I going to look if I find another foreign lady somewhere else in the World down the road?

Anyway, no use going on and on, you all get the point, I guess I just need to actually say it! The last thing I want to do is have to explain to my family and friends, how the wife I have been bragging about is now turned into a money grubbing ho? Doesn't make me look to bright!

Well, chime in a few thoughts. Mostly the quickest way to get the divorce over, and idea's on visa alternatives! I have kind of looked into the education type visa's, but not sure how that would apply due to the visa I have now.

I am just plain run down and worn out from all this BS, I just want to get her out of my life and move on!

Two ways to get a divorce in Thailand:

1) Administrative - at the Dictrict Office. Takes minutes but both of you have to agree to it, which she may not do given that you seem to be on less than favourable terms

2) In Court. You normally need grounds. From your post, there are no obvious ones, like adultery, so you might have to separate and wait 3 years. Grounds for divorce in court are as follows:

* A 3 year period of separation

* One spouse has deserted the other for over one year

* The husband has taken another woman as his wife

* The wife has committed adultery

* One spouse is guilty of misconduct (criminal or otherwise)

* One spouse has been imprisoned for more than one year

* One spouse has physically or mentally harmed the other

* Lack of marital support

* One spouse has had incurable insanity for at least 3 years

* One spouse has broken the bond of good behavior

* One spouse has an incurable communicable disease

* One spouse has a physical disability so as to be unable to cohabitate as husband and wife

Your wife has a right to half of all assets accrued during the marriage. SInce ther are none, she is more likely to delay and refuse the easy Administrative track. You might be in for a wait until you have grounds to take her to court.

See a lawyer - a good one, and they are very hard to find. Do your homework and find one that has experience with divorce, ask around and get references.

And as a footnote I might add that your visa problems should be the last of your worries. Staying in a dysfunctional relationship just to maintain a visa is a waste of your life.

[dbrenn]

Yes it is possible to get a divorce at the Amphur. All it requires is both sides to sign the paperwork (in Thai) that agrees to it. The kicker is: SHE must agree to an uncontested settlement of the joint property.

Now if she thinks you have no property of value, or she thinks she's getting a good deal by agreeing to the property settlement, then she may agree. If she thinks she could get a better deal by holding out for more, then the uncontested divorce isn't possible.

I know of one case where a Thai woman had already found a relatively well-off Geman boyfriend, so she was happy to let her current husband just go away without any arguement about property, so she could proceed to part the younger German fool from his money.

But, if she smells the possibility of money from you, she can hold out on the divorce until you pay her price.

Good luck

This is an oversimplification. Most guys just assume that all is lost financially when their marriage to their Thai tilac goes belly up, which may or may not be the case. See a good lawyer. Being a humble peasant girl with big ideas, it just may be the case that she may not be as smart as she thinks she is, and assets may still be recoverable.

A good lawyer is the key, and they are really hard to find in Thailand. Most are useless, so the trick is to ask around and find a canny one.

[Birdman]

Um, the house is owned by the woman. Not the old british geezer. If he was to be notified by Heng, then what? I mean really, at the end of the day, she would have had to give some sort of power of the property back to him. Unlikely to say the least

Like or hate the woman (and my pre-disposition would be to not to like her) she was doing everything legal and above board. Additionally, there isn't a thing anyone could do about it.

And additionally, why should I feel sorry for some bloke who came here, blows his money on some bird he met on holiday, and then decided to GIVE AWAY his money to her - presumably so he thinks he can have her for the rest of his life. I mean seriously people. He gave it away on his own accord, she didn't take it from him nor did she walk into Heng Suay pawn shop with a gun to his head and make him sign over the place.

they refuse to see it.

they are looking for something to relieve him of the consequences of his own poor decisions.

I think they see themselves in this old man. Anus clenching, ball tingling fear.

- absolute wrong thinking.

EVERYBODY KNOWS, THAT THE WIFE CAN DO WHAT SHE WANTS WITH THE LAND!!!!

And almost everybody knows, what she did was wrong, because she gave it away without the old mans knowledge.

So, without being asked and against his will he has to leave the land or pay a lot again. Maybe he has a miserable life till death, because of that unwanted situation.

Now, not everybody is that capable to avoid such a situation in the first place. Reasons therefore could be many. Therefore the guy had to be informed prior to the deal.

It is clearly a moral logic behind that!!! Nobody fears something or puts himself in his shoes!!!

It's clearly a matter of social justice to a fellow human being.

Comprende?

[bertlamar]

There's an older British gent in a similar situation that I know of. His wife put his (paid for by him) house/land in hock to my aunt and recently transferred to the property to us without his knowledge. She's since moved back up country (or at least away). Now we have to go through the process of breaking the news to him that he doesn't own his house.

I once bought a car for my mum, on one of those 2 year type sign up deals. She broke it, and it wasn't insured or anything, and in the end I think she sold it, I had to keep making payments for it for another couple of months until the end of the contract.

Had I known that I should cast racial insinuations at Toyota and claim some superior western ethics based on the manager being a white guy,....well let's just say it is clear that the entire board of Toyota should definitely end up in hel_l.

This thread is a bit like the subprime crisis; idiots get into debt; can't pay....don't take responsibility for themselves....and then get all upset at the lenders at the end when they lose the house they couldn't afford from the start. Don't deny there arent' some idiot banks/lenders out there.

But let's face it, it is frigging stupid for the person referred to give a house to your partner, then for all of us to stand all high and mighty and blame the lender (rather than the wife) based on some ill thought out feeling that some superior sense of ethics should mean the lender should just give it back and let the wife take the lender's cash for free. Goodness knows how a bank is supposed to check every single transaction..... his interest in the property by law has to be nothing (foreigners aren't allowed to own land here); he had ample chances to create a legal protection of some sort (lease, etc) and so you think the lender should wipe his butt as well when he gets older than this?

If he didn't want to live in a house for the rest of his days, don't give her the deed or at least employ some decent legal protection.

If he wants to retire in comfort, don't spend all his cash on a house which he doesn't own.

If he wanted to retire in comfort....don't get married.

etc etc

I once gave this bum 100b and thought he would go get something to eat. He didn't, I think he blew it on drugs. Man, I am so angry at the bank that ran the ATM that gave me the cash to pay the bum.

Edited March 26, 2009 by bertlamar

[Heng]

This thread is a bit like the subprime crisis; idiots get into debt; can't pay....don't take responsibility for themselves....and then get all upset at the lenders at the end when they lose the house they couldn't afford from the start. Don't deny there arent' some idiot banks/lenders out there.

But let's face it, it is frigging stupid for the person referred to give a house to your partner, then for all of us to stand all high and mighty and blame the lender (rather than the wife) based on some ill thought out feeling that some superior sense of ethics should mean the lender should just give it back and let the wife take the lender's cash for free. Goodness knows how a bank is supposed to check every single transaction..... his interest in the property by law has to be nothing (foreigners aren't allowed to own land here); he had ample chances to create a legal protection of some sort (lease, etc) and so you think the lender should wipe his butt as well when he gets older than this?

Pretty much my take. I wouldn't call the guy an idiot though for his choice in spouse. Without calling her any names though, she does fit the stereotypical bill from what I hear. I don't know the guy, nor is it my job to break the news to him. I do think our method is more than fair... compare to 3-4 cops and a team of movers ringing his doorbell at 6am. He's more than welcome to live there paying rent... which IMO would be the smart choice. Hardly financial ruin in the works unless he was already on the rocks living hand to mouth (which again typically results from one's own decisions in life).

I'd have to agree with the poster who said that all the hubbub probably stems from many folks who feel like they have their genitals exposed to their spouse's or partner's whim. I'd imagine that that would be a rather emasculating situation to have to live with. The natural response is understandably to fan out one's feathers and get mad at the lender. Ego and pride "logic" is that the lender put the razor sharp cleaver in her hands. Ego and pride says that one must ignore that there are cleaver vendors everywhere and that final chop could come from hundreds of other places should SHE so desire it.

Edited March 26, 2009 by Heng

[bertlamar]

The natural response is understandably to fan out one's feathers and get mad at the lender. Ego and pride "logic" is that the lender put the razor sharp cleaver in her hands. Ego and pride says that one must ignore that there are cleaver vendors everywhere and that final chop could come from hundreds of other places should SHE so desire it.

Thank you Ward Cleaver.

At the end of the day, how much is the house you lent on worth? If less than 5m baht it is almost nothing relative to a decent amount on which to retire.... he probably meant to give to her, for all your know he already knows and is quite impressed with her decision to short the Dow 2 years ago, short oil middle of last year, using the money from the house...and simply hasn't closed out her position yet.

[Heng]

The natural response is understandably to fan out one's feathers and get mad at the lender. Ego and pride "logic" is that the lender put the razor sharp cleaver in her hands. Ego and pride says that one must ignore that there are cleaver vendors everywhere and that final chop could come from hundreds of other places should SHE so desire it.

Thank you Ward Cleaver.

At the end of the day, how much is the house you lent on worth? If less than 5m baht it is almost nothing relative to a decent amount on which to retire.... he probably meant to give to her, for all your know he already knows and is quite impressed with her decision to short the Dow 2 years ago, short oil middle of last year, using the money from the house...and simply hasn't closed out her position yet.

That's one positive way of looking at it, June. You're really a glass half full type of gal.

[MiG16]

alright everyone, lets keep this on topic shall we?

and lets stop with the personal attacks

[1960apache]

I have been reading the board for a few years, and I thought I would never be one of those guys saying that the Thai woman I married 2 years ago, and was the perfect lady, has now become a greedy, nasty, disgusting woman with the ability to fly around the room on a broom.

I know, the same story, everything was going well until about 6 months ago, I started hearing and seeing changes for the worse. The comments about the friend who has a japanese sponsor who sends her 60-100,000 baht to sit around an do nothing, to the 34 year old thai lady who is a known butterfly, but has found a 60 year old guy from the UK to buy her a new toyota, and build a house (which is in her name)

I take responsibility for my adding to the equation of telling my wife, geez honey, things are bad in the US, I need to be careful with money, we need to wait to buy a house, condo, but the reality is, by US biz and holdings are doing better than ever etc. However, since I started this little sceme, my thai wife has been slowly slipping away, taking a little bit more clothes here and there, hanging out later with thai girlfriends near Suk and Asok late at night (may or may not be an infuence) and also, the talk has started about the "No money, no honey" theme, so I am actually glad I put her to the test!!

So, OK, it is time to cut my losses and lick my wounds and move on! Every day I meet decent hard working girls, and my wife also has a lot of great, single, not money greedy girls, but also, too many lazy vultures. I won't get into the nasty comments she has made about finding a rich falong, going to work in the bar and make her own money! (she works and makes about 10k baht, and I give her2-3000 baht for clothes, spa stuff, so I don't feel I was even being stingy, in addition, I always paid for everything)

The question is, how do I go about the divorce? As far as my wife knows, we have nothing of huge value to split up, she thinks the fridge and TV are sufficient (shows how I was thinking with the wrong head chosing someone so ignorant) Can't we just go peacefully to the Amphur where we filed the marriage?

As far as my Visa to stay here, is about up for renewal in 3 months, and from what I read, the 1 year visa's have come to an end.

Also, I have applied for her to get a USA, VISA, which we started about a year ago, so I need to cancel that, and how am I going to look if I find another foreign lady somewhere else in the World down the road?

Anyway, no use going on and on, you all get the point, I guess I just need to actually say it! The last thing I want to do is have to explain to my family and friends, how the wife I have been bragging about is now turned into a money grubbing ho? Doesn't make me look to bright!

Well, chime in a few thoughts. Mostly the quickest way to get the divorce over, and idea's on visa alternatives! I have kind of looked into the education type visa's, but not sure how that would apply due to the visa I have now.

I am just plain run down and worn out from all this BS, I just want to get her out of my life and move on!

I don't quite understand. I feel bad for you but the reality is, you are an old man. You freely recognise that you could not get a woman back home.... here you can but you get hurt and feel bad when you realise its all about money... I feel bad for you, you want love but the reality is... you won't get it. I'm sorry. If your girlfriend is going to be 30 to 40 years your junior you will never get one that is real and isnt out to use you. You probably dont want to hear this but its the truth, I think you would be better off recognising the truth of your situation no matter how painful. This way you hopefully wont be hurt if you accept the real reason women are with you, accept it and not expect anything real. Or you could try dating women alot closer to your own age if you really want a true feeling of love from them.

Now where does it say in the post that I am an old man??

Where does it say she was 30-40 years younger?

And also, where does it say that I can only find a women if I pay her money???

Where does it say she was a bar girl??

Come on guys, if you are going to give advice, don't make your life's dilemma's my problem's, and try actually "reading" the post!! It's not a mystery novel!!

[Pierrot]

Missed the train !

Edited March 27, 2009 by Pierrot

[teacup]

You have to forgive yourself and accept that you are also partly responsible for your own downfall.

The truth is that life is “not perfect” but at the sametime ….delicious, horrible, charming, frightful, sweet, bitter…..

So let go of what's bitter and move on.

Next time think wisely, do longer research.....before committing to "the trophy of your imagination".

Best of luck…..be happy….just move on

[Sabum]

Now where does it say in the post that I am an old man??

Where does it say she was 30-40 years younger?

And also, where does it say that I can only find a women if I pay her money???

Where does it say she was a bar girl??

Come on guys, if you are going to give advice, don't make your life's dilemma's my problem's, and try actually "reading" the post!! It's not a mystery novel!!

Sorry I quoted the wrong post for my response. woops!

[Sabum]

After a little self examination and soul searching I realise I would like to apologise to Heng. Here I was criticising him for taking advantage of the situation for financial gain when I am far worse..... I might not be taking money from you guys, but I am taking something and don't even feel guilty about it... Im such a hypocrit. Sorry Heng.

[Heng]

After a little self examination and soul searching I realise I would like to apologise to Heng. Here I was criticising him for taking advantage of the situation for financial gain when I am far worse..... I might not be taking money from you guys, but I am taking something and don't even feel guilty about it... Im such a hypocrit. Sorry Heng.

All good and totally unnecessary as I don't ever take criticism too seriously.

I've done some soul searching as well and however this works out, I'm going to get this guy a new set of Ison master-key padlocks for Chinese New Year next year. It'll be a re-gift of course (as we get a small sampler crate each year from Iseo and always give away the cheap stuff), but as everyone knows, it's the thought and nam-jai that counts.

As for the OP, there's the BOI route. Not sure what the requirements are, but that's the one I hear immigration police folks mention to Thais who insist on using their non-Thai passports. I don't believe there is an age stipulation as I've heard them say this to 30-ish Thais.

Edited March 27, 2009 by Heng

[wolfmanjack]

Next time think wisely, do longer research.....before committing to "the trophy of your imagination".

Best of luck…..be happy….just move on

Or do like the OP did and protect your ass_ets before letting "the trophy of your imagination" move in.