Well, it's been one of those weeks where you just got to shrug and say, tomorrow will be better.

- How Rawai hasn't been washed into the ocean by now is beyond me. I was caught there last Sunday when the bike blew a tire during the downpour. Not one <deleted> repair shop open for 4 km. I did learn the kindness of some Thais when a lady stopped to say she would go look for a repair shop and she did. Then a motorcycle taxi came along and my friend made me go searching and we did find one eventually. I was deposited and the driver went back to advise my friend who was pushing the bike. I felt bad to leave my friend in the rain, but hey that's what friends are for. He felt so sorry for me he went to get me one of those plastic bag raincoat thingies, not that it helped since I was soaked anyway, but its the thought that counts right?

- Took the same friend out for his belated birthday dinner at Tarawan, which is a pretty decent fish place on Beach Rd. in Patong. Waiting, waiting for dinner. We had ordered 2 appetizers a gin&tonic for me and the main fish dishes. 30 minutes, everything shows up at the same time. Really really stupid. I was going to go smack someone for that idiocy, but what's he point. 4000 baht meal never to be repeated ever again. Lost me as a customer.

- Next night, go with friend to eat at Buffalo Steakhouse on soi patong Resort. Walked by a hundred times over the past few years and always wanted to try it. Bad mistake. Worst steak in my life. Mostly gristle, inedible and not sirloin. Yay for paying 700 baht for a piece of meat best used as shoe tread. My friend pulled a classy stunt. Any time he couldn't chew something he'd point to the TV screen and say, did you see that and then he'd toss his 1/2 chewed gristle onto my plate. Hello Buffalo? Guess what? You'll never see me again, so take our greasy fries and reject Australian beef and go peddle to the unsuspecting tourists that don't know what a good piece of meat is........ Service was good though and the 4 item sald bar is interesting (carrots, tomatos, some sort of sauerkraut and cucumbers along with the salad dressing glop selection. (3 choices of transfat loaded hydrogenated flavoured oils to accompany the chewy gristle.) Whoever is buying the meat at Buffalo should be ashamed. You hear me you hooligan? I'm going to find you and make you eat one of your "steaks".

- I felt liking running next door to the Islander. English style food with a decent selection of Thai dishes. I have been eating their regularly and I rather like the place. If you haven't tried the Islander give it a try. It's a nice place for lunch. Nothing spectacular, just decent quality food at decent prices that won't make you ill or angry. For what we spent at buffalo, we could have dined like kings for a week at the Islander. Whoever runs the Islander got his business model right. Not one mistake, not one complaint over any meal. My Thai colleagues like the place too. The more I think about it the angrier I get. How come the Islander can do it right at lower costs but the overpriced Buffalo next door can't?

- Yesterday at Jungceylon they are having some sort of martial arts contest. The fighters aren't the best and one guy gets knocked down. the medical care was non existant. No exam from the "trainers" but the magical nose wand appeared. They loaded him on the stretcher and off they went after 5 minutes of clucking around. I was expecting them to drop him as they walked out. Ok, that was a thrill, so off I go to Carrefour to find smoked salmon. Bless carrefour for stocking some items that make one's tummy happy. Get to the case and see 2 types of packages. ! big and 1 small. The big pack was Scottish and the small 85g pack was Norwegian. No brainer on that, i go with the Scottish salmon, since I won't buy anything from Norway. Best thing Denmark ever did was to rid itself of that primitive backwater. Which got me to thinking, how come so few danes are in Thailand but the place has so many Norwegians. The Danes make for some of the better visitors, just because they inject a bit of class. Ok, so leaving Carrefour and have to cross the Karate Kids in action again. Ahh but ahead of me are Patong's finest white shirted Police Volunteers. I used to be a strong supporter, but after seeing them in action, have to admit that many negative opinions expressed in TV were spot on. The fat one really got on my nerves. Arrogant waddle. Nasty sneer on his face. I'd wager that if there was a mandatory psychological exam before allowing these guys to join up, some of them wouldn't pass. Must be quite a feeling to carry handcuffs. Makes up for all the other inadequacies I reckon. I was amazed at how tall one of the whiteshirts was and I wonder where he buys his pants. Off to the side are the police volunteers masters. 2 of Patong's finest police officers. Ahh yes, they looked impressive........... sort of like what you find in one of those Mexican border towns if you know what I mean. So these police volunteers must get on famously with the pillars of honesty and integrity. Another reason as to why I now dislike the police volunteers. When you lie in the gutter, you aint gonna be clean for long.

- Alrighty, so off I go, down Bangla Rd. Hello stupid tout trying to sell me a suit. Hey it's been about a year you've worked this shop and yet you still can't remember my answer from last week. So now you understand why I offered you my used kleenex when you tried to shake my hand. MMkay, lookee there, it's the same slob that was drinking himself to death as last week when I walked by. Same dirty shirt, same rotted teeth and of course same aged bg perched on his knee. Nice to see.

Gave a quick wave to the chain smoking bald farang tout that sits on a bar stool on Bangla selling time shares to either Bangla Suites or Absolute. No idea, and don't care. Just wish he'd get deported and take his dirty socks that he wears with sandals with him. Seriously now, it's bad enough to wear socks with sandals, but at least wear clean white socks not dirty old rags.

- Ahh, nearing the corner and nearly home safe, but wait there's one of those fat tourist ladies that can't manage to walk in a straight line. Nope can't pass so have to walk into the tuk tuk line and endure the multiple chants of taxi, tuk tuk, hello boss where you go... Bite me somchai ok. Kiss my pasty white posterior. Back to the sidewalk, more shirtless slobs with protruding bellies and their ugly obese ladies. Yo, guys, how come the young guys with good bodies keep their shirts on but somehow, you tubs of goo seem to think showing everyone your back hair and manbreasts is ok? Bah, who cares nearly home now, but wait there in front of me is some old man, like old enough to be my grandfather, and he's walking with his very effeminate rent a boy. Dude, like hello? What would your family back in Dusseldorf or Topeka or Luton think? The outfit the kid had on was too funny, so I smile and avert my eyes lest I be blinded by the flames. Anyway, one of the vendors looks at me and does one of those looks where he knows exactly what I'm thinking and lets out a big laugh and points at me and says, you want I get shirt for you. Not nice, but quite funny.

- I'm getting hungry and haven't eaten Subway in ages and think ok, maybe I can pick up a sandwich and double back. Curses, there's a drunken aussie sprawled on the steps with his mates trying to pick him up. Ok, its almost 5 pm, and the guy's an Australian, so nothing unusual there. At least he's being nice about blocking the way and offers me his beer. Give up on Subway and walk home.

-But wait there's more. The same kid that tried to sell me a Stoney Condo stops by again. This time his routine has changed to pleading and he offers me 1000 baht of his finders fee of 4000 baht. Desperate times. Good. Starve you nasty piece of rodent turd. Selling bad condos in this manner. Not good.

Fortunately, my phone rings and its my buddy. "Hello sexy man. We go eating ok, I'll come get you, this time try not to give me flat, I have to get girlfriend after work." Something about Thai friends and their ability to always make a day better and to know exactly what to do.

And I did label this thread my cathartic rant. 3 hrs sleep in 2 days. Yay for working in different time zones.

Good rant, well put together, no bad language, you have a good ways with words.

I must agree with your rant about all the food in a restaurant all coming together. That's my pet hate in Thailand. Order for 2 people, usually one dish arrives, then 2nd person dish arrives long after the first dish eaten. And I've learned not to order a starter and main dish at the same time. Best order one, then later order the second. Pointing out to the server the order & sequence of food arrival is useless. You know Thai people, smile, agree, and ignore. I suppose that's what makes Thai people so charming....

God, you deserve a free set of steak knives after all that.

Come and have a Patong detox down south where the crap isn't so bad although we can't guarantee that all your food will not come at once and if eating on the beach front at Rawai, that you do not fall into the ocean as part of the retaining wall fell down last week.

Well, it's been one of those weeks where you just got to shrug and say, tomorrow will be better.

- How Rawai hasn't been washed into the ocean by now is beyond me. I was caught there last Sunday when the bike blew a tire during the downpour. Not one <deleted> repair shop open for 4 km. I did learn the kindness of some Thais when a lady stopped to say she would go look for a repair shop and she did. Then a motorcycle taxi came along and my friend made me go searching and we did find one eventually. I was deposited and the driver went back to advise my friend who was pushing the bike. I felt bad to leave my friend in the rain, but hey that's what friends are for. He felt so sorry for me he went to get me one of those plastic bag raincoat thingies, not that it helped since I was soaked anyway, but its the thought that counts right? You have to be kidding me, there are at least four bike shops on Sai Yuan.

- Took the same friend out for his belated birthday dinner at Tarawan, which is a pretty decent fish place on Beach Rd. in Patong. Waiting, waiting for dinner. We had ordered 2 appetizers a gin&tonic for me and the main fish dishes. 30 minutes, everything shows up at the same time. Really really stupid. I was going to go smack someone for that idiocy, but what's he point. 4000 baht meal never to be repeated ever again. Lost me as a customer. Fish place on Patong Beach Road, what, did you just fall off the durian truck?

- Next night, go with friend to eat at Buffalo Steakhouse on soi patong Resort. Walked by a hundred times over the past few years and always wanted to try it. Bad mistake. Worst steak in my life. Mostly gristle, inedible and not sirloin. Yay for paying 700 baht for a piece of meat best used as shoe tread. My friend pulled a classy stunt. Any time he couldn't chew something he'd point to the TV screen and say, did you see that and then he'd toss his 1/2 chewed gristle onto my plate. Hello Buffalo? Guess what? You'll never see me again, so take our greasy fries and reject Australian beef and go peddle to the unsuspecting tourists that don't know what a good piece of meat is........ Service was good though and the 4 item sald bar is interesting (carrots, tomatos, some sort of sauerkraut and cucumbers along with the salad dressing glop selection. (3 choices of transfat loaded hydrogenated flavoured oils to accompany the chewy gristle.) Whoever is buying the meat at Buffalo should be ashamed. You hear me you hooligan? I'm going to find you and make you eat one of your "steaks". I'm happy to introduce you to the guy, would be quite funny to see that exchange. And again the durian wagon comment.

- I felt liking running next door to the Islander. English style food with a decent selection of Thai dishes. I have been eating their regularly and I rather like the place. If you haven't tried the Islander give it a try. It's a nice place for lunch. Nothing spectacular, just decent quality food at decent prices that won't make you ill or angry. For what we spent at buffalo, we could have dined like kings for a week at the Islander. Whoever runs the Islander got his business model right. Not one mistake, not one complaint over any meal. My Thai colleagues like the place too. The more I think about it the angrier I get. How come the Islander can do it right at lower costs but the overpriced Buffalo next door can't? Because Buffalo is a chain geared toward TOURISTS, the Islander is more of a local place.

- Yesterday at Jungceylon they are having some sort of martial arts contest. The fighters aren't the best and one guy gets knocked down. the medical care was non existant. No exam from the "trainers" but the magical nose wand appeared. They loaded him on the stretcher and off they went after 5 minutes of clucking around. I was expecting them to drop him as they walked out. Ok, that was a thrill, so off I go to Carrefour to find smoked salmon. Bless carrefour for stocking some items that make one's tummy happy. Get to the case and see 2 types of packages. ! big and 1 small. The big pack was Scottish and the small 85g pack was Norwegian. No brainer on that, i go with the Scottish salmon, since I won't buy anything from Norway. Best thing Denmark ever did was to rid itself of that primitive backwater. Which got me to thinking, how come so few danes are in Thailand but the place has so many Norwegians. The Danes make for some of the better visitors, just because they inject a bit of class. Ok, so leaving Carrefour and have to cross the Karate Kids in action again. Ahh but ahead of me are Patong's finest white shirted Police Volunteers. I used to be a strong supporter, but after seeing them in action, have to admit that many negative opinions expressed in TV were spot on. The fat one really got on my nerves. Arrogant waddle. Nasty sneer on his face. I'd wager that if there was a mandatory psychological exam before allowing these guys to join up, some of them wouldn't pass. Must be quite a feeling to carry handcuffs. Makes up for all the other inadequacies I reckon. I was amazed at how tall one of the whiteshirts was and I wonder where he buys his pants. Off to the side are the police volunteers masters. 2 of Patong's finest police officers. Ahh yes, they looked impressive........... sort of like what you find in one of those Mexican border towns if you know what I mean. So these police volunteers must get on famously with the pillars of honesty and integrity. Another reason as to why I now dislike the police volunteers. When you lie in the gutter, you aint gonna be clean for long.

Watched one of those guys get dropped trying to break up an Aussie vs. Thai Bangla street fight, pretty humorous.

- Alrighty, so off I go, down Bangla Rd. Hello stupid tout trying to sell me a suit. Hey it's been about a year you've worked this shop and yet you still can't remember my answer from last week. So now you understand why I offered you my used kleenex when you tried to shake my hand. MMkay, lookee there, it's the same slob that was drinking himself to death as last week when I walked by. Same dirty shirt, same rotted teeth and of course same aged bg perched on his knee. Nice to see.

Gave a quick wave to the chain smoking bald farang tout that sits on a bar stool on Bangla selling time shares to either Bangla Suites or Absolute. No idea, and don't care. Just wish he'd get deported and take his dirty socks that he wears with sandals with him. Seriously now, it's bad enough to wear socks with sandals, but at least wear clean white socks not dirty old rags.

Yeah, where were his black socks?

- Ahh, nearing the corner and nearly home safe, but wait there's one of those fat tourist ladies that can't manage to walk in a straight line. Nope can't pass so have to walk into the tuk tuk line and endure the multiple chants of taxi, tuk tuk, hello boss where you go... Bite me somchai ok. Kiss my pasty white posterior. Back to the sidewalk, more shirtless slobs with protruding bellies and their ugly obese ladies. Yo, guys, how come the young guys with good bodies keep their shirts on but somehow, you tubs of goo seem to think showing everyone your back hair and manbreasts is ok? Bah, who cares nearly home now, but wait there in front of me is some old man, like old enough to be my grandfather, and he's walking with his very effeminate rent a boy. Dude, like hello? What would your family back in Dusseldorf or Topeka or Luton think? The outfit the kid had on was too funny, so I smile and avert my eyes lest I be blinded by the flames. Anyway, one of the vendors looks at me and does one of those looks where he knows exactly what I'm thinking and lets out a big laugh and points at me and says, you want I get shirt for you. Not nice, but quite funny.

I find throwing out a couple words in Russian, throws em for a loop.

- I'm getting hungry and haven't eaten Subway in ages and think ok, maybe I can pick up a sandwich and double back. Curses, there's a drunken aussie sprawled on the steps with his mates trying to pick him up. Ok, its almost 5 pm, and the guy's an Australian, so nothing unusual there. At least he's being nice about blocking the way and offers me his beer. Give up on Subway and walk home.

Good you missed Subway, 250thb for a marginal sandwich when there's a lot of other better food around........

-But wait there's more. The same kid that tried to sell me a Stoney Condo stops by again. This time his routine has changed to pleading and he offers me 1000 baht of his finders fee of 4000 baht. Desperate times. Good. Starve you nasty piece of rodent turd. Selling bad condos in this manner. Not good.

Gotta make some baht somehow

Fortunately, my phone rings and its my buddy. "Hello sexy man. We go eating ok, I'll come get you, this time try not to give me flat, I have to get girlfriend after work." Something about Thai friends and their ability to always make a day better and to know exactly what to do.

Your "buddies" call you sexy man.....(?)

And I did label this thread my cathartic rant. 3 hrs sleep in 2 days. Yay for working in different time zones.

See my comments above

Yes, lots of bikeshops, but they're nearly all closed on Sundays.

Even the farang are giving you a hard time^

That's cause they can. Take it easy man. Everything you talked about is so typical of this place, but funny to hear you carry on. When it rains it pours. Sorry to hear how you're taking it. Sounds like you're ready to, at least, get out of that place, if not Thailand all together.

You have to take what goes on around you with the same oblivion as those around you.

Gotta wonder what your complaints would be if you went back to your home country?

Sometimes i have a hard time understanding why people move half-way around the world, to a totally different culture, and then complain becuase the western food is not the same.

Try the Thai food sometime, it's pretty good.

I once had a flat tire many kilometers from my home on a Sunday. I ended up getting a room and learning a lot about Nai Harn (at the time i had been living in Karon/Kata but afterwards moved over here) I guess what i'm saying is often times, and open mind pays off.

Cheer up, one thing about life: things will change.

Enjoyed the rant. I don't think you are bitter about Thailand just making some astute & funny observations which are quite typical as are countless others. As Trink so often used to say, TIT. I am sure we could all include some similar rants but would no doubt be accused as a whingeing foreigner & told to go home. I still occasionally get frustrated or upset but mostly try to see the humerous side.

The Islander definitely has the right formula for good, wholesome food at a reasonable price considering the location. Countless Phuket characters have passed through there over the years & continue to do so with Derek, the owner, always being very relaxed & open for a chat.

Does anyone remember Roger, the owner of the Alice Bar? He would go to The Islander almost every night for dinner until he was slashed to death, in his home, by murderous fiends using his ornamental swords. His wife was arrested as the mastermind & jailed but I understand she did not do much time. There were some horrific photos of Roger in some Thai magazine at the time.

Does anyone remember Roger, the owner of the Alice Bar? He would go to The Islander almost every night for dinner until he was slashed to death, in his home, by murderous fiends using his ornamental swords. His wife was arrested as the mastermind & jailed but I understand she did not do much time. There were some horrific photos of Roger in some Thai magazine at the time.

Gosh that was a long long time ago. Reminds me of the time my bank manager told me there was a villa selling cheap on the Patong Hill Estate because of dispute between husband & wife. We went up to view but did not get past the door. I thought at the time that it was all I bit weird. Later on I found out that was the house where Roger was murdered.....

A very enjoyable read, gkid, thank you!

Reading about other's misfortunes brightens up oneself's lousy day....

haha. nearly peed my pants laughing at that, G.

for the person who said to try and eat some thai food for a change - well after eight and a half years of living in thailand and eating thai foods on MOST days, often 3 meals at that - there comes a time where you just crave some good western food.

and some people just dont like thai food. doesnt make them any less worthy.

ive had those weeks, though G. you didnt mention anyone stopping in their tracks at the top or bottom of the escalator though - im surprised at that!

next week will be better, for sure.

Well, it's nice to see other people have episodes like this once in awhile. I did point out that there was a good aspect to every bad thing. The nice lady helping surely wouldn't have happened elsewhere. In respect to the Islander, I almost always only eat the Thai food there. That's what's so good about the place - you can get decent Thai food in there. Almost unheard of in alot of the "pubs" here. I think living in Patong and being single has what's done me in. I had to be in Patong, although if I come back full time, I'd probably consider a more sedate place like Kamala. Also, not having a wife or g/f doesn't make for the healthiest of lifestyles since your friends are always calling you up to fill in an empty karaoke chair or spot, or to crash on your sofa since they live out of Patong. I'm off to work outside of the country for 6-8 months and when I come back, the entire team will have been dismantled with my best friend back to Uni in Bangkok and the crew dispersed to the north and south. Probably I was overcome with sentimentality. My next big rant will probably be over my friend's hassles trying to get a temp visa to attend a course at a uni in my country. Sort of the next best thing to being in Thailand is if you can get your friend into a hometown uni so at least work isn't so boring and you can beg/threaten him into making real Thai food.

Huggy, you seem to know the food industry. have you ever eaten in Patong's Buffalo? without repeating my whining, seriously, I dare you to go order a sirloin pepper steak and see if it's what you were expecting. If you can chew it, then you are the son of that Jaws guy from Diamonds are Forever.

Glad I could at least get a smile out of this.

Your post made me chuckle, have had many of those days/weeks over the years.. I have eaten at Buffalo one time and will never go back.

Your post made me chuckle, have had many of those days/weeks over the years.. I have eaten at Buffalo one time and will never go back.

Maybe it's named after the type of meat they serve 5555555

Yes I enjoyed it, but I always wear socks, I have chicken legs and the mossys bite my feet, see what you have done, you have me thinking again now, OH Dear

...- I felt liking running next door to the Islander...

Is this "Islander" any relation to the "Islander" that used to be on Viset road in Rawai, opposite the Sea Shell Museum or to the "Islander" that's now in the back road that goes from the west end of Rawai beach to Nai Harn?

As an OT question what's the origin of 'Cathartic'?

Huggy, you seem to know the food industry. have you ever eaten in Patong's Buffalo? without repeating my whining, seriously, I dare you to go order a sirloin pepper steak and see if it's what you were expecting. If you can chew it, then you are the son of that Jaws guy from Diamonds are Forever.

Hi G-Man,

you know, I just don't eat steaks like we do when in the states. Seriously it's once every three months or so (if that). These days when I eat beef it's usually a Thai dish, pepper garlic beef or something like that.

You won't catch me in a Buffalo Steakhouse, that's for sure. If I do pound down the big steak it will be at Don's or Eric's Karon Cafe. Actually Don, about a year ago, splurged for both my buddy and I a strip sirloin and a tenderloin plate. dam_n good too ! Thai tenderloin tender and tasty.

Thanks Don !

...- I felt liking running next door to the Islander...

Is this "Islander" any relation to the "Islander" that used to be on Viset road in Rawai, opposite the Sea Shell Museum or to the "Islander" that's now in the back road that goes from the west end of Rawai beach to Nai Harn?

Yes, same same.

They lost the lease on the Viset Rd. location and moved to the road you are referring to.

No, not the same.

The Islander that geriatrikid is refering to is in Soi Patong Resort in Patong.

The Islander(s) that are in Rawai have no connection to the one in Patong.

No, not the same.

The Islander that geriatrikid is refering to is in Soi Patong Resort in Patong.

The Islander(s) that are in Rawai have no connection to the one in Patong.

Where does Patong come in?

He says Viset Rd. in Rawai, opposite Shell Muesum SB.

Maybe cut down on those morning cocktails......

Where does Patong come in?

He says Viset Rd. in Rawai, opposite Shell Muesum SB.

Maybe cut down on those morning cocktails......

Gentlemen ... timeout please. The OP gkid was talking about the Islander in Patong. JetsetBKK asked if the Patong Islander was related to the Islander Viset Road.. Huggy then told us the one in Viset had relocated on the back road.

There is no connection (that I know about) between the Patong & the Rawai Islanders.

Problem solved .... now that's fixed I'll have my lunch cocktail...

Where does Patong come in?

He says Viset Rd. in Rawai, opposite Shell Muesum SB.

Maybe cut down on those morning cocktails......

Gentlemen ... timeout please. The OP gkid was talking about the Islander in Patong. JetsetBKK asked if the Patong Islander was related to the Islander Viset Road.. Huggy then told us the one in Viset had relocated on the back road.

There is no connection (that I know about) between the Patong & the Rawai Islanders.

Problem solved .... now that's fixed I'll have my lunch cocktail...

now I'm confused, and will help myself to a cocktail

Great rant, thanks for that.

No, not the same.

The Islander that geriatrikid is refering to is in Soi Patong Resort in Patong.

The Islander(s) that are in Rawai have no connection to the one in Patong.

Where does Patong come in?

He says Viset Rd. in Rawai, opposite Shell Muesum SB.

Maybe cut down on those morning cocktails......

Maybe it is you that should read more carefully.

He quoted "I felt like running next door to the Islander" which is from the OP when geriatrickid was in Patong.

He then asks if this Islander is related to the one in Rawai. It isn't.

Do try to keep up Huggy.

Quite a hilarious rant, but really we all face the same clowns and situations daily, just not quite in extreme that G accumulated in those few hours.

No, not the same.

The Islander that geriatrikid is refering to is in Soi Patong Resort in Patong.

The Islander(s) that are in Rawai have no connection to the one in Patong.

Where does Patong come in?

He says Viset Rd. in Rawai, opposite Shell Muesum SB.

Maybe cut down on those morning cocktails......

Maybe it is you that should read more carefully.

He quoted "I felt like running next door to the Islander" which is from the OP when geriatrickid was in Patong.

He then asks if this Islander is related to the one in Rawai. It isn't.

Do try to keep up Huggy.

Correct, Sir Burr - it was the "running next door" that made me realise that he didn't run all the way from Patong to Rawai!

Sorry for the confusion, HuggyB!

I just loved the "Do try to keep up Huggy." My thought exactly from the start.

I tried to explain it to him ...

Where is the Tarawan so that I can avoid it. Never heard of it