Royal Sponsored Funerals

[lannarebirth]

Many years ago, when I first came to live permanently in Thailand, through a series of serendipitous events, I found myself living with a Lanna Princess and her retired military husband on an estate here in Chiang Mai. I lived with the Chao and her family about two years and we became very close, invites me to all family and local royal events and treats me as if I were her own son.

Sadly, three months ago "phukan" her husband passed away. She called us that day and we visited with her. Now the royally sponsored funeral is to take place in Bangkok this weekend which we'll be attending. My question is, should I still be giving an envelope of cash to the Chao, or someone, as I would at any other funeral? My wife's uncle passed away last year and was given a royally sponsored funeral, but as it was her own family, passing money wasn't an issue and now neither of us knows what the correct procedure is. Any helpful advice appreciated.

[Scott]

My condolences to you on the loss a person close to you.

As far as getting advise about protocol, you might want to get a hold of someone of significance in the gov't who might know--or might now how to get ahold of the Bureau of the Royal Household who probably have a protocol office than can answer your question.

Unfortunately, on this forum your most likely to learn the protocol of trying to explain how your wife worked in a go-go bar, but she wasn't really a bargirl etc.

[Heng]

Difficult to say. I've been to a few Royal watering ceremony funerals (all 'lesser' M.R.'s and M.C.'s) and there were plenty of envelopes going in, our family's included. Although intuitively it might feel awkward, IMO all funds can technically interpreted as 'making merit' so it probably wouldn't be a social faux pas to do so. Then again, I don't know if higher up royals require a different protocol. You'll clearly be able to see what everyone is up to when you're there.

[lannarebirth]

Difficult to say. I've been to a few Royal watering ceremony funerals (all 'lesser' M.R.'s and M.C.'s) and there were plenty of envelopes going in, our family's included. Although intuitively it might feel awkward, IMO all funds can technically interpreted as 'making merit' so it probably wouldn't be a social faux pas to do so. Then again, I don't know if higher up royals require a different protocol. You'll clearly be able to see what everyone is up to when you're there.

You're right Heng, it does feel awkward, but I think we'll prepare something just in case and I'm sure my wife will be able to read the signs on how to proceed at that point. Thanks for the input.

You too Scott, good advice.

[dave9988]

Unfortunately, on this forum your most likely to learn the protocol of trying to explain how your wife worked in a go-go bar, but she wasn't really a bargirl etc.

lol

[jts-khorat]

Difficult to say. I've been to a few Royal watering ceremony funerals (all 'lesser' M.R.'s and M.C.'s) and there were plenty of envelopes going in, our family's included. Although intuitively it might feel awkward, IMO all funds can technically interpreted as 'making merit' so it probably wouldn't be a social faux pas to do so. Then again, I don't know if higher up royals require a different protocol. You'll clearly be able to see what everyone is up to when you're there.

You're right Heng, it does feel awkward, but I think we'll prepare something just in case and I'm sure my wife will be able to read the signs on how to proceed at that point. Thanks for the input.

You too Scott, good advice.

As you know this woman rather well, questions of protocol at the funeral of her husband would be best directed at her. She should know best and I would not believe it awkward if a foreigner asks such questions.

[lannarebirth]

Difficult to say. I've been to a few Royal watering ceremony funerals (all 'lesser' M.R.'s and M.C.'s) and there were plenty of envelopes going in, our family's included. Although intuitively it might feel awkward, IMO all funds can technically interpreted as 'making merit' so it probably wouldn't be a social faux pas to do so. Then again, I don't know if higher up royals require a different protocol. You'll clearly be able to see what everyone is up to when you're there.

You're right Heng, it does feel awkward, but I think we'll prepare something just in case and I'm sure my wife will be able to read the signs on how to proceed at that point. Thanks for the input.

You too Scott, good advice.

As you know this woman rather well, questions of protocol at the funeral of her husband would be best directed at her. She should know best and I would not believe it awkward if a foreigner asks such questions.

I could'nt bring myself to ask the Chao or her daughter. My wife's cousin in some office at the Royal Household and this is what she told us. "If invited in person or over the telephone, no need for an envelople. If receiving a printed invitation put something in that envelope to pass back". Well, I got a verbal invitation and 2 days later a written one came in the mail. At the funeral, I noted a former PM was passing in an envelope, so we did the same.