The Best Story You've Ever Heard In A Thai Bar ?

[moe666]

Worked with a guy, once-upon-a-time, who had so many jobs for so many years that when added up he was around 250 years old.

You know it is a lie when it starts out, this ant no sh---t.

[basjke]

Went into a hairdresser shop in the avenue pattaya and had a foreigner working.The boss told me that he was bruce alan and that he came here on holiday and helped her out because he was very famous.He worked with all the Hollywood stars and so on.

Later a lady friend told me that he came look to rent a room from her in her rented house because his 3000 baht room was a bit to expensive.

[warfie]

I might start going to bars just to hear some of these stories....

[Jangot]

Isn't this a bit dangerous...

I recall an incident reported here a few months ago when an American shot an Aussie (or the other way around) because one didn't like the other's barside glory story

[atelko]

I might start going to bars just to hear some of these stories....

thought exactly the same

[OriginalPoster]

I was once in Angel Witch in Nana Plaza watching their dancing show when I struch up a conversation with an American guy who told me he used to work for DARPA (Defence Advanced Projects Research) which is basically a super black ops division of the US Dept of Defence... he didn't claim anything amazing, but was impressed that a young Brit knew what DARPA was. Anyway, he told me his team of people had disappeared and he was hiding in Bkk, doing various nefarious dealings with local money traders and keeping below the radar... apparantly, whatever he knew back in the states was a little too sensitive.

He wasn't bragging or anything and I did have a tendancy to believe him.

The Angel Witch erotic dance that happens after 10.30pm is quite good too.

DARPA isn't a black ops division, it's the nerd division that is responsible for technology development for the US Department of Defense. Sort of a Bell Labs Jr type of thing, chock full of engineers and scientists, many of whom do things as mundane as designing integrated circuits and computer programming. Those guys are about the last to be going on James Bond missions to Thailand, they're more likely to go to a conference in Silicon Valley.

Edited May 3, 2009 by OriginalPoster

[Ta22]

remind me of the Movie " BIG FISH " i love it alot . : )

man should be allow some decent lie

" i once walk across the border of Lao to china from the mountian town call Ooo-Long Sai , stay at the border crossing for 1 night -

got woke up in the middle of the night by strong wind blowing on the small wooden house making creaking sound the cold and scray darkness rendering me blind - force me out of the small house .

to my Awe - i was in the middle of a firefly war . i saw hundred thousand , maybe million of fireflies right before my eyes . "

this is the most impressive moment i had in my life so far . to have the Darkness of the night lighten up by the wonder of the flight ."

---

i am still hoping to go back one days ,. cos i left a pcs of green scraf there that i buy from chiangmai

---

sorry no UFO sighting

Edited May 3, 2009 by Ta22

[Heng]

3. One guy in a bar in Udon Thani, dressed in a Miami Vice style white Linen suit , and pork pie hat, about 26yrs old with long clown style shoes, said he was touring Thailand after making his first million , racing pigeons in the UK. His most famous apparently was 'Top Gun', a world beater by all accounts .

LOLZ! I have a couple of cheesy suits like that, brings back memories.

[Absingjul]

A Russian who claimed he was a former cosmonaut who never got to go into space because he was sent to a gulag after insulting Brezhnev at a state dinner. He was also former kgb.

[njpski]

Guy was telling that he had heard that when the British Army was in India, the officers would sit on the verandah of their mess cleaning their rifles.

When they were happy, they would take potshots at the "natives".

[Geekfreaklover]

Two weeks ago I was nursing a hangover at the end of soi 11. English guy started talking to me on the opposite bar stall. Out of politeness I asked him what he did for a living. 'Security' was the answer. He had recently been Oliver Stones body guard whilst Stone was shooting a comercial (?) in Bangkok. Then he went on to say that he couldn't tell me about his past - too many people listening - he took a pen from the bar and wrote the words 'SAS' on my newspaper and nodded. A few moments passed and he then offered to award me 1 million baht if I could recover a suitcase containing 75 million that had been stolen form a bungalow on Ko Samui. It was just a case of finding the Thai girl that had stolen the money, he had copies of the girls ID in his bag.

[davejonesbkk]

Two weeks ago I was nursing a hangover at the end of soi 11. English guy started talking to me on the opposite bar stall. Out of politeness I asked him what he did for a living. 'Security' was the answer. He had recently been Oliver Stones body guard whilst Stone was shooting a comercial (?) in Bangkok. Then he went on to say that he couldn't tell me about his past - too many people listening - he took a pen from the bar and wrote the words 'SAS' on my newspaper and nodded. A few moments passed and he then offered to award me 1 million baht if I could recover a suitcase containing 75 million that had been stolen form a bungalow on Ko Samui. It was just a case of finding the Thai girl that had stolen the money, he had copies of the girls ID in his bag.

And??? What else? You should have taken him up on the offer just to see how far he was willing to go with his fantasy...

Edited May 4, 2009 by davejonesbkk

[pitrevie]

I once worked with a guy who spoke numerous languages, trained for SAS, had flown everything but we could always tell when he was lying, when his lips were moving.

[StateSix]

Its amazing how many of these ex SAS/CIA/MI6 types can't wait to tell random strangers in bars what they used to do. Obviously missed the lessons on how to stay under the radar.

I had an Aussie guy have a go at an English girl I know because she resisted his 'charms' on Soi Cowboy. She told him where to go so he offered me out at the end of the street, telling me he was Aussie SAS working from the embassy. The 'discussion' continued and he then claimed he wasn't a misogynistic pr*ck as he was also gay. When I asked what a gay man was doing on Cowboy trying to chat up women, he said he was 'doing reconnaisance' for a night out for the rest of his colleagues

Also had a British guy come up to me on the skytrain once at about 1pm, drunk, can of Leo in his hand. Tried to make conversation and when I ignored him, he demanded my passport as he was 'undercover FBI' lol. I asked him how long the FBI had been recruiting cockneys and told him to go forth and multiply. He then showed me what appeared to be a rolled up newspaper tucked into his shorts under his tshirt and said he was armed and if I didnt give him my passport he would shoot me. He also made a grab ay my arm, but missed, then claimed he had a hair and would track me down via my DNA

[Geekfreaklover]

Two weeks ago I was nursing a hangover at the end of soi 11. English guy started talking to me on the opposite bar stall. Out of politeness I asked him what he did for a living. 'Security' was the answer. He had recently been Oliver Stones body guard whilst Stone was shooting a comercial (?) in Bangkok. Then he went on to say that he couldn't tell me about his past - too many people listening - he took a pen from the bar and wrote the words 'SAS' on my newspaper and nodded. A few moments passed and he then offered to award me 1 million baht if I could recover a suitcase containing 75 million that had been stolen form a bungalow on Ko Samui. It was just a case of finding the Thai girl that had stolen the money, he had copies of the girls ID in his bag.

And??? What else? You should have taken him up on the offer just to see how far he was willing to go with his fantasy...

Well, the funny thing was that I had just written a best selling novel with the same plot. A suitcase full of money stolen in Ko Samui. It freaked me out. It was stranger than fiction.

[OzBoss]

I have lost count of how many farangs have told me that they are friends with the chief of police, he must be a popular chap.

How come there are not ordinary soldier's here in Thailand, they all seem to be Navy Seals or Special Force's.

[babuhavas]

i met a guy who cliamed to be very famous writer from england and he is working with royal family and guiding them for politics.

english guy helping in thai politics,never heard better than this one

[Geekfreaklover]

i met a guy who cliamed to be very famous writer from england and he is working with royal family and guiding them for politics.

english guy helping in thai politics,never heard better than this one

Well, it coud be possible. There was a Greek by the name of Falcon who did quite well as a royal adviser not that long ago.

It didn't end too happily for the greek though.

Reference: The Falcon of Siam.

[Jungian]

I met a guy from New Jersey who started a little business here in Chiang Mai. I guess he has been here for around 9 years or so and he told a few of us from the same area in the states he was from that he had business dealings in NYC, Philly and Atlantic City with some people who were less than what you would consider friendly you know the trash business, construction, union leaders, etc. In any event he went on to say he was never going back to NJ because he told some people good bye and others F*** you! According to him they didn't take very kindly to his farewell. If you watch the Sopranos you will get the picture.

[rak sa_ngop]

Well the ex-British SAS I met in a bar in Bangkok was describing some of the clandestine SAS missions carried out in Vietnam during ' the American' war. Is there any truth to this, were the British SAS active in Vietnam? Always wondered.

Just googled and found this:

There is no official information about any members of the British SAS having served in Vietnam. At the height of the Vietnam war the British SAS were heavily committed in Borneo, Aden and the Radfan. However British SAS instructors are regularly sent on attachment to both Australian and New Zealand SAS Squadrons. It is generally thought that a few British SAS personnel attached to the Australian and New Zealand SAS while they were deployed in Vietnam under the official title of instructor. After the war 70 British General Service Medals were issued with the Bar South Vietnam 1962-64. No Names or units are mentioned.

[Boater]

Two weeks ago I was nursing a hangover at the end of soi 11. English guy started talking to me on the opposite bar stall. Out of politeness I asked him what he did for a living. 'Security' was the answer. He had recently been Oliver Stones body guard whilst Stone was shooting a comercial (?) in Bangkok. Then he went on to say that he couldn't tell me about his past - too many people listening - he took a pen from the bar and wrote the words 'SAS' on my newspaper and nodded. A few moments passed and he then offered to award me 1 million baht if I could recover a suitcase containing 75 million that had been stolen form a bungalow on Ko Samui. It was just a case of finding the Thai girl that had stolen the money, he had copies of the girls ID in his bag.

this made me chuckle

[fabianfred]

Guy was telling that he had heard that when the British Army was in India, the officers would sit on the verandah of their mess cleaning their rifles.

When they were happy, they would take potshots at the "natives".

Officers carried pistols...not rifles ..unlike the lower ranks...... and what is the use of cleaning only to go and dirty it again by firing

Edited May 4, 2009 by fabianfred

[Thanh-BKK]

Hi

I was told a great story by a middle eastern guy who was NOT drunk but didn't have his senses really together... a Thai friend called me one night because this guy "had a problem with the computer" and as i fix computers this would be for me? So i went to meet the chap, at Kao Sarn Road.

At his room there was no computer, but he brought me to an internet cafe in the same building. There he had a W-LAN dongle plugged into one of the computers and a CD with a bunch of pirated anti-virus software from Panthip. Also he had a folder on the desktop with random graphical backgrounds to be used as wallpapers. His story:

He and his ex-wife used to work for Microsoft as software developers. Then his wife cheated on him with Bill Gates (none lesser!) and he left her. And ever since his wife threatened to kill him!

Now he had these programs (the anti-virus stuff from Panthip) which could be used to "hack his wife's network" which was "in that stick there" (the W-LAN dongle) and then some "codes" had to be retrieved from the pictures (the wallpapers) to make visible some "videos of his wife with Bill Gates" which were ALSO INCLUDED IN THE ANTI-VIRUS PROGRAMS because "those are all made by Microsoft".

Now all he wanted me to do was the following:

1) Hack and activate his wife's network, using things like McAffee and Norton

2) Retrieve the codes from the wallpapers, using the same programs

3) extract the secret videos out of the programs with the codes

4) safe those videos on the desktop so he can use them to sue his wife, and put a copy on his wife's network to let her know he has them.

I was offered 5,000 Baht for that "job". After about 2 1/2 hours trying to explain the impossibility of the task he let me go, gave me 1,000 Baht for my efforts..... as mentioned, that guy was not drunk at all, all he did drink in fact was milk (!) all evening......

Maybe i miss the better ones because i never go to bars.... but that one was enough, almost stuff to make a movie from

Best regards.....

Thanh

[gbt71fa]

Did anyone ever meet the ex-US military guy that was here 4-5 years ago that dressed in Miami Vice type outfits, claimed he fought in Panama and Iraq and had killed between 17-26 people (depending on his mood at the time), including women and children? Went by the name of "Rock". Hung out in Gullivers Sukhumvit.

How much you want to bet that guy never served a day in the military? I guess cheap whisky makes you bold.

[gbt71fa]

"

I was once in Angel Witch in Nana Plaza watching their dancing show when I struch up a conversation with an American guy who told me he used to work for DARPA (Defence Advanced Projects Research) which is basically a super black ops division of the US Dept of Defence... he didn't claim anything amazing, but was impressed that a young Brit knew what DARPA was. Anyway, he told me his team of people had disappeared and he was hiding in Bkk, doing various nefarious dealings with local money traders and keeping below the radar... apparantly, whatever he knew back in the states was a little too sensitive. "

Something tells me if the C.I.A. wanted to find you in Bangkok, they could. Just go to the bars and get drunk farangs to start talking. I can think of better hiding places than a gogo bar or a open air bar to hide.

[Boater]

Then his wife cheated on him with Bill Gates (none lesser!)

what a naughty man lol

[gbt71fa]

I have lost count of how many farangs have told me that they are friends with the chief of police, he must be a popular chap.

How come there are not ordinary soldier's here in Thailand, they all seem to be Navy Seals or Special Force's.

I'm just an ex-artillery soldier..nothing special...even though once I was asked by the C.I.A. to assist MI6 in helping the SAS to track down some ex-KGB who were working with former German Stazi impersonating Russian Spetznaz who were trying to overthrow the government of Laos but it turned out to actually be Vietnam...besides that just an average soldier.

Edited May 4, 2009 by gbt71fa

[gbt71fa]

Well the ex-British SAS I met in a bar in Bangkok was describing some of the clandestine SAS missions carried out in Vietnam during ' the American' war. Is there any truth to this, were the British SAS active in Vietnam? Always wondered.

Just googled and found this:

There is no official information about any members of the British SAS having served in Vietnam. At the height of the Vietnam war the British SAS were heavily committed in Borneo, Aden and the Radfan. However British SAS instructors are regularly sent on attachment to both Australian and New Zealand SAS Squadrons. It is generally thought that a few British SAS personnel attached to the Australian and New Zealand SAS while they were deployed in Vietnam under the official title of instructor. After the war 70 British General Service Medals were issued with the Bar South Vietnam 1962-64. No Names or units are mentioned.

There was a couple Thai battalions in the Vietnam War. The Australains were involved a bit but no Brits.

[nonthaburial]

I do believe there were a number of UK SAS in Vietnam working with the Australians

[greenwood01]

You guys are asses, you dont realise that they are actual SAS officers..

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Except only in counterstrike at the nearby cafe.