Do Thais Celebrate Birthdays?

[Livinginexile]

It was my wife's b/day recently and we celebrated with a party at my sister’s house.

We had the usual birthday celebrations with presents, birthday cake and lots of friends and relatives.

Later that night I asked if her parents would call to wish her happy birthday. She replied that Thais don't celebrate birthdays and that in fact it is the children’s responsibility to call their folks and thank them for being born and to forgive them any suffering or grief the have caused them throughout their life!

I was gob smacked!

I am now beginning to see how Thai's instill a strong since of guilt in their children from an early age.

Is this practice wide spread? My wife says that only hiso people celebrate birthdays because it follows western traditions.

Has anyone else experienced these phenomena?

[kennkate]

They dont seem to Celebrate them.

I Sent my wife a card from the UK She was thrilled she told me she had never recived one before

Sonkan, And Loy Kathong seem to have much more significance.

[eek]

I cant speak for all of Thai people, only my own experience. I was actually quite surprised how little of a deal of birthday my bf made with his kids. He is a great dad and will give them what they need plus the occasional special thing. I thought there would be birthday cake and things..but no. I actually looked a bit on google to try find out and I recall reading something along the lines of what you have posted.

Then, when it came to my birthday a few months later, I was quite put out that he didnt make any kind of fuss (sorry if that sounds a bit childish, but I am used to that being the one day you can feel a bit indulgent and made a fuss of). I had to remind myself that he didnt do it with his kids either.

When it came to his birthday, he was the one who say "its my birthday, so time to treat everyone". I was thinking "Huh?"...

[harrry]

When I lived in Thailand 30 years ago it was a different country to now. Then village people did not celebrate birthdays as it was a dangerous day and they could be vunerable to spirits especially if the spirit could find out their real name.

[Maigo6]

The missus sister gives me a little something on my birthday, sweets or chocolate usually, then eats it herself.

I give her 500 Baht for every year she has been born on her birthday.

[Macx]

Yep, Bdays are no big deal here. The younger generations might celebrate with a cake or a night out. From what I see, it's more of a hassle for the birthday guy/gal who is often actually responsible for setting up (and paying for) his/her own party to "treat" everyone else.

Likewise, I was kinda bummed when the gf didn't throw a big bash for me, cake but no present. But, when her bday came around, I took her out to dinner and gave her a small present. She was thrilled, it was beyond her expectations.

And, they do call their parents on various holidays (bdays too) to thank them for life/food/and so on

[ilovefashionTV]

This is one bit of Thai culture i most certainly like then, we just need them to knock this attempt at bringing Xmas to Thailand on the head, aswell as banning New year.

But why when im in a tourist resort do i every night see one bar or other celebrating some girls b'day?

Edited May 28, 2009 by ilovefashionTV

[IMA_FARANG]

It was my wife's b/day recently and we celebrated with a party at my sister’s house.

We had the usual birthday celebrations with presents, birthday cake and lots of friends and relatives.

Later that night I asked if her parents would call to wish her happy birthday. She replied that Thais don't celebrate birthdays and that in fact it is the children’s responsibility to call their folks and thank them for being born and to forgive them any suffering or grief the have caused them throughout their life!

I was gob smacked!

I am now beginning to see how Thai's instill a strong since of guilt in their children from an early age.

Is this practice wide spread? My wife says that only hiso people celebrate birthdays because it follows western traditions.

Has anyone else experienced these phenomena?

It all depends. Thailand is not one uniform culture. I know it is true that upcountry there is the tradition of not mentioning or celebrating a birthday, so the spirits won't be able to tell what day your birthday is. In Bangkok, a lot of people do celebrate birtdays, but I think things like birthday partys are rare.

My Thai girlftiend had a birtday in Feb. this year while I was in Thailand. Her children took her out to dinner, and had a cake made for her. That was the extent of the celebration, but it was a family outing everyone enjoyed.

Birthday celebrations are a western idea....but it has taken hold among the Thai city dwellers, The amount of "celebration" is limited by the money availabe to spend, however.

[Farma]

Woe betide me if I forget the wife’s birthday. Having said that I notice children s birthdays are celebrated around the village but it doesn’t seem to be important for adults.

[eek]

A little veer from the topic..but just a side note..

What i realise is that I made the wrong assumption that my partner would be familiar with western style ways of doing certain things. At Christmas his kids were surprised to receive a gift (which, just for fun I wrote "From Santa x"), they quizzed their dad it and I just told them a light version of Santa and what kids do in the west. They were really interested. I also did an adapted Halloween for them with pumpkins and a haunted treasure hunt game. Considering Thai childrens real fear of ghosts they were very brave to go around with a torch hunting out clues. Again, they loved it. Generally any "western" event/holiday, i try to adapt it a bit to keep it fun and enjoyable.

Just as I need help about what to do on Thai special occasions from my partner, he needs help from me. Last year, after feeling deflated from a lackluster birthday I spoke to him saying I would like this years to be a little more "western", as I do miss that feeling that its a day where you get a little bit of fuss made of you.

I think for most of us, if we miss something, we just need to take time to explain. Its not a lack of consideration, just a lack of understanding...and vice versa.

Anyway..sorry for rambling a bit....

[Deke]

From what I've seen, it's celebrated when the person having the birthday wants to celebrate it. Otherwise, simply "acknowledged".

[Jimjim]

With my Thai and Filipino friends it has always seemed that it's like, "Ok, so it's your birthday Jimjim, you're taking us all out to dinner, right?" Seems it's common to give everyone else a dinner instead of the other way around.

[rgs2001uk]

Yeah Thais usually celebrate birthdays if the farang is gullible enought to believe it.

My wife goes to her mothers house on her birthday and basically gives thanks to being born.

Never asked for a present or a birthday to be celebrated.

Agree with the poster who mentioned all the other western (American) crap that is creeping in, mothers day, valentines day, childrens day etc etc, just an excuse to part the gullible with their hard earned.

It may be that the days celebrated are an indication of the family you are marrying into, and what you will be expected to pay for.

[MiG16]

not all thais are out to extract gifts, presents or money from farangs.

thais celebrate birthdays in different ways. might not be in the form of parties (although the rich will, especially for their 60th, perhaps western influence?)

however, ordinary thais (need not be rich) tend to do something of the following: merit making of some kind. can come in different ways - just give food to the monk as they do 'bin-tha-baad' on the street (monks requesting for food), or go to the temple and do either a small merit making of food and money, or it can be a bigger scale (if the birthday person is a bit affluent). some also have adopted the practice of buying to free - birds, fish, cows, buffaloes. idea is - these animals are often about to be killed. buying them to release them helps the person commit merit.

when there is a party involved, it is paid for by the host.

i remember in uni years, even then it was expected that I take my friends to dinner, and I pay for it I never quite understood the logic, but I share this to let you know that no matter how illogical, the practice was not devised to rip off any farang in the process

those that come to the parties bring gifts. I think thats the logic. host provides food /drinks, guests bring gifts.

[apetley]

My Thai mother in law doesn't even know when her birthday is!

She knows what year she was born but not what date.

The inlaws never seem to celebrate the family birthdays but wifey and myself swap presents every year........when we remember.

[thithi]

hmm generally, we do celebrate it, but it depends on how we do it.

Like me - I don't drink on my own birthday. I go to the temple [when i am told]. I call mum and dad to thank them early in the morning then go out for a nice dinner meal. And sometimes buy them presents and buy my own one. But they did buy me gifts when I was younger also threw parties for me.

Some wil just make merit .the other modern thai would throw parties and drink a lot.

Edited May 28, 2009 by thithi

[Tim207]

Is this practice wide spread? My wife says that only hiso people celebrate birthdays because it follows western traditions.

Has anyone else experienced these phenomena?

Contrary to the experiences of the previous posters, I have been to several birthday parties in my village. It isn't everyone having parties, just as in the west everyone doesn't have a party. In our family we have a party for the young kids and the MIL on their birthdays. The neighbor has a birthday party every year paid for by her boyfriends. A few months ago a few doors down there was a party for a 10 year old girl.

It isn't everyone but it isn't unheard of. I think it has more to do with financial considerations and family tradition.

[Chaimai]

The missus sister gives me a little something on my birthday, sweets or chocolate usually, then eats it herself.

I give her 500 Baht for every year she has been born on her birthday.

I wish somebody would give me 500 Baht for every year I have been born - it is starting to add up to a sizeable amount

I think Thais have leant ro celebrate birthdays if they can see that there is something in for them. It was always fun to staple another 100 Baht note to one of the girls in Pattaya.

Same with the Gregorian New Year - many Thais will not miss an opportunity for another celebration.

[Unfaithful]

Both of my Thai b/f's are westernized.The birtday boy - even I - get gifts.

[mahtin]

The missus sister gives me a little something on my birthday, sweets or chocolate usually, then eats it herself.

I give her 500 Baht for every year she has been born on her birthday.

Fascinating.

If you do that for the sister, what do you do for the missus?

[Gluestick]

My gf expects to get presents and stuff on her birthday. On my birthday we go out to celebrate but then she says I have to pay since it's my birthday. For some odd reason I also end up paying on her birthday. Not that unique since I end up paying all the time normally. Even in the States with my ex, I paid about 95% of the time. Normally in the States for your birthday, people take you out and you don't pay a dime. Here, it's not quite the same.

[G54]

If Thai people do not celebrate birthdays, why do they sing 'Happy Birthday' in English? Why do they have cakes with candles and all go to the pub / restaurant to celebrate? And I am not talking Hi-so people here, but normal Thai people.

I see several every week - not that I go out much, you understand

So to say they do not celebrate, or only Hi-so do has to be well off the mark somewhere.

[Chaimai]

The missus sister gives me a little something on my birthday, sweets or chocolate usually, then eats it herself.

I give her 500 Baht for every year she has been born on her birthday.

Fascinating.

If you do that for the sister, what do you do for the missus?

I think you will find that Maigo's missus is not fully aware of the little somethings HE is giving her little sister

[Lancelot]

If Thai people do not celebrate birthdays, why do they sing 'Happy Birthday' in English? Why do they have cakes with candles and all go to the pub / restaurant to celebrate? And I am not talking Hi-so people here, but normal Thai people.

I see several every week - not that I go out much, you understand

So to say they do not celebrate, or only Hi-so do has to be well off the mark somewhere.

Funny, but I too have heard Thais singing Happy Birthday to the person who became one year older.I have also known of Thais receiving s birthday gift from other Thais.

[ajarnmark]

OP and other people are surprised! why?

I think most of people on TV are either old with similar age partners or have Isaan partners (there is nothing wrong in being an Isaanite)

My gf is 22 years old and she celebrates her birthday every year, but again she is from Bangkok and belong to an educated family

so i think if u have a girl from isaan or an old lady, she may not be interested in birthday, but no way a girl from bkk would miss her birthday

[scotsman]

not all thais are out to extract gifts, presents or money from farangs.

thais celebrate birthdays in different ways. might not be in the form of parties (although the rich will, especially for their 60th, perhaps western influence?)

however, ordinary thais (need not be rich) tend to do something of the following: merit making of some kind. can come in different ways - just give food to the monk as they do 'bin-tha-baad' on the street (monks requesting for food), or go to the temple and do either a small merit making of food and money, or it can be a bigger scale (if the birthday person is a bit affluent). some also have adopted the practice of buying to free - birds, fish, cows, buffaloes. idea is - these animals are often about to be killed. buying them to release them helps the person commit merit.

when there is a party involved, it is paid for by the host.

i remember in uni years, even then it was expected that I take my friends to dinner, and I pay for it I never quite understood the logic, but I share this to let you know that no matter how illogical, the practice was not devised to rip off any farang in the process

those that come to the parties bring gifts. I think thats the logic. host provides food /drinks, guests bring gifts.

I agree with this post as my wife will also buy a live fish and let it go in the lake for merit on her birthday. My Wife & I have been invited to many a Thai birthday celebration and we bring a small gift for the birthday person but all the food & Drink is given or paid for by the host so you don't have to pay 1 satang.

Regards

Scotsman

[Roadman]

Just another reason I love my thai family. Swapping their celebrations for my western one's was liberating. Birthdays, Xmas's, and the countless other anniversaris (wedding, engagement, blah blah). The events themselves are worthy of celebration but where western society has lost it is the huge expense and expectations that go with it. It is geared for shops to ram some good stuff down your throat along with a lot of waste. The capitalist wheel at its best as bussiness and comsumers alike gloat or bemoan their bounty or lack of.

With us for birthday's it is the birthee's day of joy so they shout the meal. Xmas is cool - they are Buddhists not Christian (thankfully) so Xmas has no value, so we go to the beach for a day of fishing, crabbing, and normal everyday eating habit. I value my body so I bow to whatever she desires on wedding anniversaries, but even those she thinks are a waste of money. Where we do target the money that would normally in a western culture go on Xmas and birthdays, is as reward for achievements (school results, chores being done etc.)

EDit: As an after though Xmas in Thailand should be banned. Its a heathen religion.....

Edited May 28, 2009 by Roadman

[yabaaaa]

hmm generally, we do celebrate it, but it depends on how we do it.

Like me - I don't drink on my own birthday. I go to the temple [when i am told]. I call mum and dad to thank them early in the morning then go out for a nice dinner meal. And sometimes buy them presents and buy my own one. But they did buy me gifts when I was younger also threw parties for me.

Some wil just make merit .the other modern thai would throw parties and drink a lot.

Why do you thank your parents?

[Lickey]

Theres nothing i wouldnt do for my Mrs on her Birthday, and theres nothing she wouldnt do for my Birthday,

So we do nothing for each other!!!

Seriously, I always buy her flowers and a nice card and visit the best BBQ pub in our small issan town,

When my Birthday comes round, Mrs buys a big piece of NZ lamb from Makro, slow roasts it, roast spuds, yorkshires,carrotts and peas, invite a few thai and falang mates round, and have a wonderful evening with a few beers ect,

So yes, my thai Mrs celerates birthdays, Xmas ect,,,

[Livinginexile]

If Thai people do not celebrate birthdays, why do they sing 'Happy Birthday' in English? Why do they have cakes with candles and all go to the pub / restaurant to celebrate? And I am not talking Hi-so people here, but normal Thai people.

I see several every week - not that I go out much, you understand

So to say they do not celebrate, or only Hi-so do has to be well off the mark somewhere.

The only reason birthdays are celebrated in western pubs is because WE expect it, not them.

For example, have you ever seen or heard a happy birthday for one of the Thai staff? I bet you haven't.