Worst Joke Ever

[scottiejohn]

[scottiejohn]

What happens when you give Viagra to lawyers?

They grow taller!

　

Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by.

One attorney turns to his associate and comments

"Boy, I would like to screw her! "

The other attorney thinks for a second and said

 

 

"Out of how much"?

[scottiejohn]

[scottiejohn]

After years of hard work, Angie took her first vacation on a luxury cruise ship.

While sitting in a deck chair, she recognized a former high school classmate, a long-lost friend from her old hometown.

She crossed the deck and shook hands with her friend and said:

"Hello, Angela. I haven't seen you in years. What are you doing these days?"

"I'm practising law," whispered Angela.

 

"But don't tell my mother. She still thinks I'm a prostitute."

[riceyummm]

[scottiejohn]

[transam]

"Doctor, can you prescribe me an anti-depressant drug".

 

" I need more than a copy of your marriage certificate and your wife's photo"

 

 

 

 

 

 

[riceyummm]

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[Crossy]

[riceyummm]

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[CantSpell]

[VocalNeal]

Why did the donut seller quit? 

 

He was fed up with the whole business?

[scottiejohn]

26 minutes ago, VocalNeal said:

Why did the donut seller quit? 

 

He was fed up with the whole business?

Maybe his sugar daddy tried to ring up the accountant to find why he was not making enough dough  and felt licked when he was told his ideas were half baked!

[scottiejohn]

[scottiejohn]

Why did the donut go to the dentist?

To get a filling.

 

What is the Wikipedia definition for a donut?

A poor man's substitute for women

 

Why did the blonde return a donut?

Because there was a hole in it.

 

Did you know fat guys are insecure?

Doughnut what for.

 

What did one donut say to the other?

I donut care.

 

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Doughnut.

Doughnut Who?

Doughnut forget to close the door!

[scottiejohn]

[scottiejohn]

A doctor had a good reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he couldn't help.

The Browns came into see the successful doctor and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests.

Finally, he concluded, "Yes, I am happy to say that I can help you."

"On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue.

"Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut." The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful.

They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests.

Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be, I cannot help."

The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our friends the Browns, now please, please, help us."

"Well, all right", the doctor said.

 

 

 

"On your way home from the office, stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of cheerios... "

[scottiejohn]