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Worst Joke Ever

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7 minutes ago, scottiejohn said:

Have you ever wondered where and how yodelling began?

"LAIDTHEOLDLADEETOO-LAIDTHEOLDLADEETOO"

Have you ever posted a joke that doesnt revolve around sex ?

Every joke that you post seems to be about sex

1 hour ago, sanemax said:

Have you ever posted a joke that doesnt revolve around sex ?

Every joke that you post seems to be about sex

Yes.

FYI your last post above was number 9067, my post just prior was 9065 had nothing to do about sex!

 

BTW Is your comment a compliment or a complaint?

Edited by scottiejohn

7 hours ago, sanemax said:

Have you ever posted a joke that doesnt revolve around sex ?

Every joke that you post seems to be about sex

It has been established that the worlds earliest published joke was about sex ...

 

Quote: “What hangs at a man’s thigh and wants to poke the hole that it’s often poked before?’ Answer: A key.”

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/2479730/The-worlds-oldest-jokes-revealed-by-university-research.html

 

I think that one also qualifies as "on topic" in this thread.

Dammit, I copied Scottiejohn for another forum but posted it here and now I can't get rid of it. There should be a delete option.

 

 

 

 

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Edited by riceyummm

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Drink some water ? 

 

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The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex.

Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying:

 

 

"Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!" 
 

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The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job.

"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "What is 1 and 1?"

"Eleven," she replied.

The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but she's right." Then the sheriff asked, "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?".

"Today and tomorrow." replied the blonde.

He was again surprised that the blonde supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now, listen carefully, who killed Abraham Lincoln?", asked the sheriff.

The blonde looked a little surprised herself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."

The sheriff replied, "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"

So, the blonde wandered over to the beauty parlor, where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview.

The blonde was exultant.

 

"It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!" 
 
 
 

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A 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband, decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was badly broken anyway. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire exactly where the heart would be on a woman.

The doctor said, "Your heart would be just below your left breast."

 

Later that night Mildred was wheeled to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee. 

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15 minutes ago, CantSpell said:

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No it's not!  It's Mr Musk testing his cave rescue equipment.

Edited by scottiejohn

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Go easy on the poor guy !

His girlfriend just gave him the elbow !!
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