WitawatWatawit Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 ^^^ Your husband: Don't leave home without him! Identity crisis is a girl's biggest fear We review the latest latex knee pads! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silver sea Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 A sophisticated way to keep a toilet clean perhaps? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laislica Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 I finally got round to meeting my neighbour. He has travelled the world, swum with sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post laislica Posted December 16, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted December 16, 2014 The wife was counting all the 5ps and 10ps out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post loong Posted December 16, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted December 16, 2014 Be careful what you say to women going through the change They always Ovary act 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silver sea Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 I know that I should have variety and change in my diet, but the Catering Manager at this hospital seems to have gone too far: 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tifino Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 'dis black fella is struttting down the street. comes upon an old crusty metal bottle, and picks it up... .. rubs it, and poof! out pops a Genie! "I'll give you but three wishes" bursts the Genie. so black fella starts thinking hard... then "ahhh! I got to make the best of this, and get what I can with less wishes" Ah so cool I am, so ... "I wanna be white, tight'n'out-a-sight" "SO-Be-It"booms the Genie. ...turns him into a med. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tifino Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 'dis black fella is heading down the street. finds another genie bottle. "I grant you but three wishes booms the genie. Black fella gets another headache thinking what to wish for... ... a while later He goes: 1. I wanna be a white fella poof - "so be it" 2. "I wanna have a big mansion up on that hill over there" POOF - so be it, and he's a white fella with a big mansion, over there... "what be your last wish?" booms the genie again. 3. "I wanna be idle-rich" "SOOO BE-IT", grants the Genie... POOF - turns him back into a black fella 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post 7by7 Posted December 17, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted December 17, 2014 When was a child my mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. So I waited until he appropriate moment and burst in through the bedroom door saying: "Can I have a new bike?" He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post 7by7 Posted December 17, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted December 17, 2014 My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragonfly94 Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 Two Muslims were talking about their kids, how is your Mohamad getting along asked one, oh he is martyred already at 14 years old, oh said the other they blow up so quickly these days don't they 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post tifino Posted December 18, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted December 18, 2014 one of Saddam's paratroopers is hurtling towards earth. Pulls his ripcord... ... nothing happens. starting to sweat, he reaches back and pulls the emergency ripcord... ...again, nothing happens. The earth is getting pretty close by now, so he musters his strength, and aims so that he is pointing towards mecca. Starts praying - verry verry much... for help from allah. Suddenly, pOOf, the chute opens, and he is slowed rapidly. Immediately, wiping that sweat from his brow, he goes "thank Christ for that!!" Chute packs up again... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post laislica Posted December 19, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted December 19, 2014 Where does a Jamaican composer live? In D flat.. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alantheembalmer Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Paddy walks into the pub and joins Mick at the bar. "What are you reading?" asks Paddy. "Oh, it's next years calendar" says Mick. "Anything interesting in it?" asks Paddy. "Well" says Mick "Christmas Day is on a Friday" "Oh, Christ" replies Paddy "I hope it's not on the bloody 13th" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
7by7 Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Christmas day is approaching, and soon the land will be full of people opening their presents and uttering those now traditional words to the givers. "Still got the receipt?" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post 7by7 Posted December 20, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted December 20, 2014 Why is Christmas like a day at the office? You do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Ace of Pop Posted December 21, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted December 21, 2014 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post laislica Posted December 21, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted December 21, 2014 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post laislica Posted December 21, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted December 21, 2014 Worst Christmas joke ever? A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night, when the man felt a drop hit his nose."I think it's raining", he said to his wife."No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied."No,I'm sure it was just rain" he said.Well,as these things go, they were about to have a major argument aboutwhether it was raining or snowing.Just then they saw a Communist Party official walking toward them."Let's not fight about it", the man said, "Let's ask Comrade Rudolphwhether it's officially raining or snowing.As the official approached, the man said "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, isit officially raining or snowing?""It's raining, of course", he replied,and walked on.But the woman insisted: "I know that felt like snow!", to which the manquietly replied............... "Rudolph the Red, knows rain, dear." 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Ace of Pop Posted December 21, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted December 21, 2014 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Crossy Posted December 21, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted December 21, 2014 prickWithAfork.jpg Remember these? 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alantheembalmer Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 I met a fantastic girl last night in Nana. She was gorgeous and weighed about 350 pounds. We went back to her place, and after about 5 minutes of "doing the deed", I asked her if she wouldn't mind turning the light out. "Why", she said, "Do you find my body repulsive?" "Not at all", I replied, "It's just that the bulbs burning my bum". 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post laislica Posted December 22, 2014 Popular Post Share Posted December 22, 2014 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laislica Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas Day is on a Friday this year."Mick says, "Let's hope it's not the 13th." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laislica Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laislica Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laislica Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laislica Posted December 22, 2014 Share Posted December 22, 2014 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silver sea Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Living in a cartoon Posted December 23, 2014 Share Posted December 23, 2014 An Asian guy walks into the New York City currency exchange with 2000 yen and walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen and gets $66. He asks the lady why he gets less money this week than last week. The lady says "Fluctuations". The Asian guy storms out, and just before slamming thedoor, turns around and says: "Fluc you Amelicans too!" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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